BlogHer - SAHM to WAHM Takes More Than Moxie - Comments

We love these labels don't we?

Nordette — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 18:56:26 -0500

Thank you, Erika. Women have been writers who work at home for years, not to mention women taking in laundry while keeping children at home, catering from home, etc. Yet today, we've got an acronym for that and everything else. We're so webified! LOL.

I think that more people will start telecommuting. Certainly the more progressive companies in the world promote telecommuting because they've found employees are happier and usually do more work not less. It's the fear that folks will stay home and goof off that causes some employers to resist telecommuting. You're lucky that both you and your husband have the advantage of working from home.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Wimps to WAHMs unite!

Nordette — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 18:50:27 -0500

I laughed at your saying you were to wimpy to be a WAHM. I know that can't be the whole story because staying home with children and work is no job for a wimp. But, yeah. I know what you mean just the same.

Nothing beats working from home for convenience and sometimes for peace of mind also.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Huge issue, common issue

Nordette — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 18:46:34 -0500

... my co-parent takes for granted that I can take care of everything, because I work from home. Huge issue!

When I was married and telecommuted, my spouse seemed to think that because I was home then I was available for anything he wanted to toss over. This is a common issue that must be addressed by WAHPs. We've got to prioritize and then be firm with others that we have a work schedule just like they do. So, you're not alone at all.

Thank you for coming by and letting us know where to find you. :-)

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Right in step

Nordette — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 18:42:15 -0500

Mari, this is so true!

I believe that in any situation, We are all hybrid moms for all the multi-tasking we do. No matter if its' breastfeeding your child while doing the laundry and cooking meal all at the same time

Thank you.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Wahlcome

Nordette — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 18:40:42 -0500

No extra help with childcare? So, you're like most moms who work at home, I think.

They must be jugglers. :-) Thanks for commenting.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Welcome to the club!

EGeiss — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 13:35:06 -0500

I absolutely think that you count as a WAHM. There are so many ways to be a work-at-home parent, so having a child in childcare (mine will be starting daycare part time this fall) and telecommuting absloutely count. One of the publications I'm an editor for is in Texas, so like you, I'm technically telecommuting, while also doing my own writing and editing. I think the beuaty of being a WAHM is that we're redifning what work means/how it's done...even if it's taking a while to catch on as "legit."

Erika
WAHM, freelance writer and editor

Personal blog: Musings from the Mitten:
theWAHMmagazine's companion blog: From the Editor's Desk

Another WAHM here

EGeiss — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 13:29:42 -0500

Great post Nordette!

I too am a WAHM. I've been a WAHM for 2.5 years now, and while it has its challenges wouldn't have it any other way. (I used to work FT in museum curatorial/education, and PT as an editor/author). My husband also telecommutes part of the week to his FT job in management at one of the Detroit Three, so we're technically a WAH-family. As a WAHM, I'm an editor, writer (artices and agented non-fiction book author), and publisher of theWAHMmagazine, a content-driven digital magazine for work-at-home parents. I parlayed my editing and writing into my FT WAHM career, but still do art historial work. (I'm also a political wife, which adds an entirely different dimension to the WAHM life, that most don't have to work with, or around.)

I think that one of the biggest hurdles for the WAHM community/industry, is being taken seriously by others outside of the WAHM community/industry. We've all heard it: the "must be nice" comments that come from people who don't think we're really working, or the people who discount us as real professionals when you give yourself the title of "WAHM." In the past few weeks alone, I've seen articles, studies and blog posts that either remove us from the discourse entirely when discussing women in the work force or ones that heavily criticize us for chosing to be up front about simultaneously placing our families and careers as important.

Perhaps as more people telecommute or actively seek to establish a different kind of work-life/family-life balance those (anti-WAHM) attitudes will change.

Marie's site (WAHM spot) is great. She's doing a great thing for other WAHMs by highlighting/spotlighting our businesses and products. I've worked with her in the past, and she's got my two thumbs up without a doubt.

--Erika
WAHM, freelance writer, editor, magazine publisher
Personal Blog: Musings from the Mitten
theWAHMmagazine's companion blog: From the Editor's Desk

WAHM here

crousehaus — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 23:33:03 -0500

I've been a WAHM for 4 years now. I was a WOHM for one year but I was too wimpy for that, so my wonderful employer allowed me to work from home. It has been like a roller coaster. I started WAH with one child and now I have two. It has taken major juggling and a supportive employer. I have a sis-in-law nearby and we do some swapping of childcare. I catch up with work at night. That is one thing about working from home, I never really feel like I'm off the clock. If the kids are tucked in, I feel a responsiblity to check in with work and make sure everything is going OK. I worry about it on vacation and if I sneak out to the park with the kids. I sometimes think if I worked in an office it would be easier to leave things there at the end of the day. There is a bonus... I can throw in a load of laundry while I'm talking to a customer on the phone.

Clarification and Plea to Join the Club

VCSMama — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 21:02:54 -0500

Thanks for writing on this topic. This is my first time commenting on BlogHer, and it feels good to join the community.

I'm not sure why, but I had an interesting slightly emotional response to this post. I often find that I feel a bit like a misfit, because I never seem to fit into the neat categories that acronyms label so cleanly and concisely. Now, I have a new one WAHM...or maybe I do finally fit...I'm not sure, but my fingers are crossed!

Let's see. I work at home, but I am not self-employed. I am a mother who works at home, buy my child has always been in childcare or school, so I haven't had the experience of having him here with me all day as I work, except when he's sick or out of school for some reason. When I tell people I telecommute for a company based on the opposite coast, they automatically assume that that somehow means I've been blessed with the opportunity to spend more time with my child during the week. Not true.

But, I can't begin to tell you the ways it has enriched my parenting (and daughtering--I was able to care for my terminally ill mother and still work full-time thanks to telecommuting) life. Now that my son is in elementary school two blocks from home, I do get to have lunch with him at least once a week, volunteer at the school for an hour before the West Coast wakes up twice a week, and yes, be at the principal's door for "special occasions" that have come up as he has adjusted to big kid school.

The other way I don't fit in with many of the mothers with whom I interact is that I am a single mother. Well, a co-parenting single mother. One of the challenges I've found with also working from home in this situation, is that my co-parent takes for granted that I can take care of everything, because I work from home. Huge issue!

So, do I qualify as a WAHM, or is it reserved for women who are self-employed and/or who actually have their children home with them? I'm hopeful, because sometimes it feels good to fit in. :-)

Thanks, again for your post. You can check out my embryonic blog at: www.themamaspot.com.

Wishing...

maricrisg — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:47:05 -0500

I am in the process of finding ways to transition into a WAHM. It is a tough decision especially in this economy. It is also tough keeping up with the obligations and responsiblities of trying to be 100% working full-time and 100% family woman! I believe that in any situation, We are all hybrid moms for all the multi-tasking we do. No matter if its' breastfeeding your child while doing the laundry and cooking meal all at the same time. I do envy moms who are WAHM or SAHM. It's a whole different arena compared to one who works outside the home.

I'm a WAHM

jlraynes — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:05:12 -0500

Thank you so much for this. I know it's a growing trend but it seems like I have trouble finding people in the same situation. Both my husband and I telecommute and we have no extra help with childcare. It's hard. I'm going to check out all those links.

Hybrid moms?

Nordette — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:50:22 -0500

It was my pleasure to mention your diaper cakes because I think they're adorable.

Yes, I know that more and more women with degrees are deciding to work from home or to be SAHMS. However, I know some folks dispute the figures.

Thank you for sharing these links with the BlogHer community. Hybrid mom is an intriguing term.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

A sage perspective

Nordette — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 18:47:16 -0500

Vered, what you said about feeling like you fail on all fronts is true. I know it's true for me. I think many of us, especially moms, suffer from a desire to be perfect, but your advice to learn to let go is wise.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Great Article

cutiebootycakes — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 06:47:23 -0500

Nordette,
This is a wonderful article and I appreciate you mentioning me and my business! I actually left a full-time position as the State AIDS Director to became a WAHM. Although it was a a decision that changed my career path, I do not regret it. I have the full support of my husband to make choices that enable me to spend time with our son and follow my dreams. I work as a consultant(my first WAHM gig) while working on building Cutie Booty Cakes - it is difficult at times but I wouldn't make any other decision at this point in my life.

You mention that being a WAHM does not require a college degree and I certainly agree with that. However, there is loads of evidence that many college and professional degree holders are making this decision. I hold a Masters degree and many of my moms that I have met at Hybrid Mom have left corporate positions to focus on being WAHMs. In addition, I like to point out an article on Hybrid Mom Study Finds an Increasing Number of MBAs Taking the Mommy Track Although this article does not talk discuss these SAHMs becoming WAHMs I am sure that many of them do make this decision.

For all the WAHMs and potential WAHMs good luck and remember - it takes more than moxie to do this successfully.

Nordette, thank you again for highlighting WAHMs!

Renée aka Mekhismom
Cutie Booty Cakes

Thanks for the reply

littlebytes — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:12:37 -0500

Nordette and commenting on my blog article about sahms and working moms.

It's true, moms especially are always in demand 24/7, we need to take a time out to relax and unwind, but to also do things we enjoy...whether it is a good book, a nice bath, or getting to know other moms online ☺

Patricia Garza is a former elementary teacher who turned stay at home mom after
the birth of her first son in 2004. Since 2005, Patricia became an online entrepreneur and a mother again to her second son in 2007. Find Patricia online at http://twitter.com/littlebytesnews or subscribe to her parenting resource blog at http://littlebytesnews.blogspot.com

SAHM to WAHM Takes More Than Moxie

Nordette — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 19:05:15 -0500

Love is glue, money is oil. While staying at home with your children may be its own reward, the world runs on money. So, it's possible, especially in today's economy, that you've considered moving from SAHM (Stay-At-Home-Mom) to WAHM (Work-At-Home-Mom). You may have have decided that your family needs a financial boost, but lamented that you don't want to work outside the home.

I've done it before, worked from home with children, and still sing the praises of telecommuting to a corporate job. I've also run a business from home, one that was a good idea but unfortunately didn't grow fast enough to pay its bills. Still, the experiment required hard work. So I know that building a successful work-at-home business while raising children takes more than a good idea, a desire to succeed, and patience. Working from home with children takes careful planning and also mental preparation to adjust to a lifestyle change.

Jennifer at Queercents tackles this subject in her post WAHMs, WHADs, and The Cost and Benefits of Working at Home with Kids: Making the Most of Your Work Time. She works at home but also has child care help.

My name is Jennifer, and I’m a WAHM. No, that’s not some new addition to the ever-expanding LGBTQ alphabet soup of queer identities; it stands for work-at-home mom or dad. I'm part of a growing trend; an increasing number of folks are WAHMs or WAHDs. ... When the kids are little, this requires some paid assistance, unless you are lucky enough to have family who will watch your kids for free. I’m in the unlucky group who has to pay for someone to watch my daughter while I work at home.

Prior to her WAHM post, Jennifer wrote another blog entry about finding a nanny who's also LGBTQ-friendly, and so her WHAM post focuses not on choosing a nanny but on how work-at-home-parents can be more efficient while the nanny sees to the children. Her tips cover early adjustments to having a nanny nurture your children while you work, keeping lines of communication open, and more tips on matters such as how to make the transition from mom-time to work time as "untraumatic and undramatic as possible for all parties."

Jennifer's post links to a USA Today article about the growing trend of WHAMs, or should that be WAHPs (Work-at-Home-Parents)? However, we don't need a newspaper to tell us that lots of parents prefer to work at home and have found a way to do that.

Indeed, I came across one site devoted to WAHMs called The WAHM Spot:

The WAHM Spot inspires by sharing how other WAHMs got started in their businesses and how they juggle work and family at home through our Spot-light Interviews. We also have some articles (Spot-light Articles) that we hope will help you in starting, promoting and/or running your business, and articles that we hope will inspire, guide, and motivate you whether you are an established entrepreneur or a mom seeking work to do from home. (About The WAHM Spot)

I'm sure BlogHer has many members who'd clasisify themselves as SAHMS gone WAHM (Come out come out whereever you are!), which in no way suggests that being a SAHM is not work. Having done both, my tongue would fall out if I suggested such a thing.

Excluding members who are professional writers with children and who work from home, I know of at least one BlogHer.com member who happily calls herself a WAHM. Renée aka Mekhismom describes herself as a work-at-home-mom in her Cutie Booty Cakes blog:

I have been inspired to create Cutie Booty Cakes by the original cutie booty - Mekhi Eli, my one year old son. I had never even heard of diaper cakes before my pregnancy and now I am in love with creating them! Since I spend a lot of time with diapers I figure why not make it enjoyable? Thank you for joining me on this new entrepreneurial adventure! (Mekhismom)

I'm far enough away from changing diapers that I had not heard of diapercakes either. The picture looked enough like an edible cake that I wasn't sure at first what I was seeing, but when I figured it out, I thought "WOW! Now that's a cute, practical product."

Starting with Cutie Booty Cakes, I found other WAHMS such as Jill Notkin who blogs at The Daily Grind of a Work-At-Home Mom. Jill's in the upscale baby products business. However at her blog you'll find posts on low-calorie meals, reviews of other products, and of course, entries about motherhood.

Through Notkin's blog I found one of those WAHMs with an idea that made me ask, "Why didn't I think of that?" Mary Sullivan Cooper, who calls herself CEO and Founding Mama, runs MommyMixer, a unique service that "connects busy families in need of part-time babysitting with high-quality college students."

I think Cooper has a degree from the University of Texas in a marketing field, but Notkin earned a degree in journalism Still, I doubt that the ability to run a successful business from home has anything to do with having a college degree. I suspect if we think about it, we know of WAHMs who run successful enterprises, but who don't have a "professional" degree. Think Paula Deen, who started what's now a mega cooking business from her home kitchen. Whether you're into fattening comfort foods or not, you know Deen's doing rather well.

Dean suffered agoraphobia, yet when she became a single mom, she found the courage over time to overcome her fears and do what she had to do to ensure her sons' needs were met. She said in an interview that she took the one talent she knew she had, her passion, and supported her family. I saw the Oprah show Moms Who've Made Millions on which Deen was featured.

Working from home does not result in making millions for most moms, and frequently millions wasn't the goal. (I don't think Deen thought she'd make millions when she starting selling lunches from her house.) WAHMs seek to make ends meet and also to be present as often as they choose for their children, no haggling over missed days with a boss or crying at the gas pump during oil crises. (Telecommuting is becoming more common for both parents and nonparents.)

And since we've been talking WAHMs here, I've meditated on other working moms. I don't think we have an acronym for moms who work outside the home. Would that be WOHM? Giving up job security to start a home business, to go from WOHM to WAHM, would also take more than moxie, but we'll save that for another day.

Are you a WAHM or one of the millions of women who'd like to be one?

Nordette is a BlogHer.com Contributing Editor. You may read her personal blog at this link on another website.