BlogHer - A New Owner's Manual for My Midlife Body - Comments

I Know That Mid-Life Change

wbattles — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:53:04 -0500

Wendy Battles, Optimal Health Coach, www.DontWorryGetHealthy.com

Hi Debra,

I'm so loving reading your comments, it's like music to my ears when women start to trust their bodies and do what feels right! Forget what others say, we're each so individual and when we find something that works, we should go for it.

And the weight training to lose weight - it's the best. Karen and I were just talking about that this week.

I think the changes you've made are totally inspiring and it goes to show that we can all do this!

Thanks for sharing,

Wendy

I Agree!

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 17:06:46 -0500

Doris--

The forties are fabulous. I remember thinking how I was at my peak then. But I can tell you that at 57, there's something pretty amazing about the fifties. Clearly our bodies are changing and we may not always be so thrilled about that. But there a liberation of mind and spirit that comes in the middle of midlife. Back in the 60s or 70s there was this book--I think it was by Marlo Thomas--called "Free to Be Me". I thought I got it then. But now I really understand why it means to be really me -- and comfortable with it (bigger waistline and all).

The bone density thing is definitely something to focus on. Thanks for bringing that into the discussion. We have osteoporosis in our family and both my sister and I take Fosamax.

Karen

Great Article

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:57:08 -0500

Kathy--

There some great exercises in your article--especially the arms ones, some of which I done before. I'm adding them to the workout again. Thanks for the link.

In my 40s I was in great shape. It was the 50s and menopause that caused the change. Wish I had known but you certainly have a head start on preventing midlife spread. Have to check out the kettlebell--that's a new one on me. That's why I love blogging. I always learn something. Thanks.

Karen

Good Grocery Mantra

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:48:15 -0500

Tracie--

This is a good one to remember at the grocery store. Especially when walking by goodies that are not lean, green or marine. Clearly my favorite taco chips wouldn't pass the LGM test.

Karen

Nutrition mnemonic

Tracie — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:14:18 -0500

Lean. Green. Marine. It's not my phrase -- I heard it from someone else. But it's been helpful as I try to envision how to eat: lean (protein), green (anything!) marine (fish and/or omega3 fish oil).

Staying Fit in Middle Age

Kathy333 — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:08:46 -0500

It is crazy, the changes that we go through. First it was having kids. I got that C section pouch! Then it was just getting a bit older, I think. I exercise a lot, and am actually becoming a personal trainer to start up a program for mothers and those in their upper thirties and beyond (women) because we do face really unique challenges! The body changes over time, no matter what we do.

I do agree that if you go into exercise with the goal only of losing weight you might be disappointed.I think it has to become a real part of your everyday life. It's a tough challenge, particularly when you work and if you have children, but it can be done if you make it a priority. I think after seeing the benefits of daily exercise people stick with it more.

I wrote an article on prevention about meeting fitness goals that has a few exercises I really love that I use to tone. I also bought a kettlebell-wow! great workout!

Keep us posted on how it goes! I love Trader Joes, but we also have a Henry's market around here. They have the freshest veggies and fruits! I really like farmer's markets too. And I steam all of our veggies. They come out crisp and they don't have added butter, etc . . . so they are healthy too.

Kathy

Mama Marathoner

Allbusiness:Working Mothers

Ah Yes --the Tummy

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:56:10 -0500

Liz--

The other day, my 4 year old niece told me that I had a "fat tummy". Out of the mouths of babes. I thought I was disguising it pretty well. I think that comes from the creeping weight thing that gives women an extra pound or two a year. The beer and pizza might contribute a little too :-)

Karen

Visit me at Midlife's A Trip.

I Hate Getting Older

Queen1 — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:55:22 -0500

Fortunately for me, weight hasn't been a problem; I am thinner now than I was in high school. I have been a runner for 35 years, but I am finding the aches and pains creeping up on me. I hate that I can't run like I used to. I find that lunch is the easiest meal for me to get vegetables--I'm in sales and feed someone else lunch almost every day, so I always eat heathfully for lunch.

The other peri stuff I can totally relate to! Night sweats last night, as a matter of fact. My husband doesn't understand why I want the thermostat so low at night! I have taken to sleeping starkers--and then sort of worry what I will do if there is a fire and I have to grab the kids and run out of the house quickly! Guess the neighbors will get an eyeful (well, not really--they won't be impressed).

Queen1

www.whenwearequeen.squarespace.com

You Wrote Your Owner's Manual

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:49:40 -0500

Debra--

Sounds like you already wrote your new owner's manual. I'm taking notes on the recipe for the mixed greens. Saw them in the store the other day but got arugula and spinach instead. I steam my spinach and put a little Garlic Expressions salad dressing over it. It's pretty good but then I've loved spinach since Popeye.

Agree on the carrot thing--crunched down a whole bag yesterday. I'm sure it was good for me but I still want my taco chips. I do get the baked ones when I buy them. Poor substitute but better for my taste buds that carrots.

I'm inspired by how you've slammed dunked your physical fitness goals and am taking notes. I'm working on the nutrition first and moving back into going to the Y 3 times a week. One day at a time.

Karen

Peri Hell

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:41:28 -0500

Gena--

Laughing about you wanting PMS back. I know the feeling. I went into peri probably 10 years ago when there wasn't a whole lot out there about it. Sounds like you're having a tough peri -- as I did. Everything from night sweats that were brutal to the brain fog and creeping pounds.

On the back end of all this I can tell you that the weight stuck, the hot flashes still come occasionally but the fog clears and you will feel whole again. Yoga and meditation helped some and for hot flashes, there's nothing better than just opening up your freezer (hopefully on the top) and sticking your head in. Best remedy for hot flashes I've found and I have tried everything.

As for the greens, if there's a Trader Joe's in your area (can you tell I'm a fan?), they have all the greens in bags in the produce section ready to throw in a pot. I agree the canned stuff is toxic.

Caution--during peri watch who you talk to because I found that when I talked to someone whose menopause was symptom free, I wanted to throw her under a Mack truck. Oops, there go those fantasies again.

Karen

Visit me at Midlife's A Trip.

Forties are fabulous

Doris — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:00:44 -0500

To put myself through school I taught aeorbics, so being fit and exercise was a routine of mine well back into my late teens. I never gave up that drive for exercise because I needed the stress burning factor. I'm amazed at how much more grumpy I am if I can't work out for a couple of days.

When I was around 38 I started noticing a change in my mom. She'd shrunk an inch, she was breaking bones bumping into things and finally broke her pelvis walking. No, not falling, just took a step and it snapped.

I realized that I needed to make sure I was doing something to build bone density. That for me has been my only change now that I'm firmly planted in my 40s. I make sure I do something daily (weight lifting, calcium, soy milk) that helps me build stronger bones. My goal, is to reach 80 and still be running, walking, hiking or whatever else I can think of.

Doris

The Leaky Cauldron
Everything Harry Potter.

Fit, Fabulous and Forty the Natural Way! My fitness journey now that I'm in my forties!

Hm... Is this where this tummy came from?

Liz Rizzo — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 10:58:17 -0500

I don't know, I'm only 37. I think it's the pizza and beer.

Interesting about the reasons people exercise. It's definitely a challenge for me to exercise regularly when it makes me feel better but I don't *see* it on my body.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

LOL

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 10:47:45 -0500

hjordys

Just went through the line at Trader Joe's last week and watched the 2 women in front of me get asked for ID. Then my turn came and the check-out guy didn't bat an eye as he rang up my bottle of wine. It's a funny feeling when you actually wish someone would ask for your ID -- and then you feel disappointed when they don't. The analogy to acquiring pubic hair is a blast and so true. Like midlife, it does just kind of sneak up on you. And the epic continues...

Karen

I Know That Mid-Life Change

debra roby — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 09:34:42 -0500

I know that mid-life change from both sides. First came the gaining of 40# (over 10 years or so), and recently came the losing (over 15 months)and maintaining (hello, rest of my life!). It was not easy; it was not fast; it was worth it.

I rather intuitively adopted many of the suggestions of both women. Walking 3 miles a day wasn't working for me. Simply monitoring my calories didn't work either. With "the experts" telling me it should, I was frustrated and giving up.

I started going to the gym and working with a trainer who coached me all the way. For me, I found that cardio reduced my stress and weight training (building muscle) reduced the pounds. I was exercising at least one hour a day, 5 days a week.

My diet is now based on veggies, fruits, whole grains, and lean proteins. Almost everything is steamed, broiled or baked.

Those steamed greens? I never knew they could taste so good or do so much for my body. And Gena, I buy a bag of mixed greens (chard, kale, turnip and mustard) at the store, then steam them maybe 8-10 minutes, drizzle with some olive oil and balsamic vinegar. None of that boil for hours stuff, so you CAN do it.

But I'm sorry.. when I crave a "crisp" of a cracker or chip, the crunch of a carrot is not going to cut it. Never did, never will. I choose a healthier crisp, limit my quantity and enjoy every bite.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb

It Is Starting To Change and I Don't Like It!

Gena Haskett — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:51:32 -0500

Nobody told me or is telling me about the "Peri" stuff that is happening. Seriously, give me back my PMS! I only had to deal with that every 28 days.

The waves, the weight gain and the aches that are winding up in places I didn't know could ache. Fantasies of beating the stuffing out of stupid people merge into waves of "I'm such a rotten person, why am I sucking air."

I'll be glad to scarf up some greens if it will give me relief but I can't do the canned stuff with MSG and sodium. This means I have to cook 'em and that time factor is tricky.

Might have to go raw food for the cause though because the transition has commenced and there is no turning back. I got seaweed in the cubbard. Well, I got to start somewhere.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

A New Owner's Manual for My Midlife Body

midlifemuse — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 20:38:11 -0500

I don't know about you but I'm on a mission to reclaim my waistline. Somewhere in the middle of midlife it's all but disappeared -- the booby prize, I suppose, for making it through menopause without losing my mind. As if the hot flashes weren't bad enough.

Along the way to whittle down and lose a stubborn 10 pounds gained during the big "M", I've checked out exercise books, fitness programs, joined the "Y" and more. But I've had a lot of fits and starts in my exercise strategy.

Well I'm not alone, says Dr. Michelle Segar from the University of Michigan's Institute for Research on Women and Gender. I had a great dialog with Dr. Segar this week and she told me that according to her recent study on midlife women and physical activity, we "of a certain age" exercise for 5 reasons:

Weight loss
Health benefits
Stress reduction
Sense of well-being
Maintaining weight/toning

Of the 156 women in the study, published in Women's Health Issues, 61% of them started exercising for health reasons or to lose weight, like me -- and maybe you too. But surprisingly what Dr. Segar found is that "women who exercised for these two reasons did the least amount of exercise". She explained that:

Women who exercised to lose weight were the least committed to maintain their physical activity goals. Getting stressed about losing weight undermines their success. And because most women want quick weight loss, their need for instant gratification shoots them in the foot, especially midlife women who juggle many roles and a lot of stress.

The next least committed women were those who exercised for health reasons -- the "should" factor, the socially acceptable reason. This was an unexpected finding. In contrast, women who wanted to enhance their well-being or reduce stress had the highest success in staying physically active. They tended to choose exercise that made them feel good in the moment.

So what's a woman in midlife to do? When I posed this question to Dr. Segar, she switched roles on me and became fitness coach Michelle. You see she doesn't just study midlife women, she actually helps them achieve their fitness goals through her Essential Steps program.

Michelle was initially inspired by her work with breast cancer survivors. She created her own major in college on the socialization of women and then got 2 masters at U of M -- the first in kinesiology and the second in health behavior and health education -- and her PhD in Motivational Psychology. Her focus has always been on why midlife women don't get involved in or sustain physical activity. And at 42, she says she's "always been excited about getting older".

Since it looks like the rules have changed on how to stay fit in midlife, I asked Michelle what's the new gameplan for someone trying to lose weight during or post menopause which is the hardest time to take weight off and keep it off. She thinks the problem lies with women trying to learn 2 behaviors at once -- exercise and nutrition. Michelle suggest that women start with exercise and make it a "self-care behavior" -- a wonder drug. Her advice:

Start small -- walking even just 2-5 minutes a day. Do it for a month, put in on your calendar and leave yourself reminders.
Find physical activities that make you feel good while you're doing them -- like a walk in nature, exercising with a friend or my favorite, great music on your iPod.
Start with the end in mind -- how do you want to feel when you're 70 or so?
Invest in yourself and decide that your continued well-being is worth learning how to create an exercise program you like and can stick with.

Next comes learning about nutrition, which Michelle says trumps exercise for weight loss. So off I went to optimal health coach, Wendy Battles from Healthy Endeavors for advice -- not on dieting but on good nutrition for midlife. Like Michelle, Wendy says "keep it simple".

Nothing prepares us for the change in our bodies in midlife. But you have to turn off the negative self-talk. Start with 1 or 2 small changes. Breakdown the steps and make permanent lifestyle changes. Then the weight will come off.

Wendy agreed to give me a little cheat-sheet to share with you. Take notes and then head off to a great market, like Trader Joe's -- my favorite.

Eat more dark leafy green veggies which purify the blood, detox your system and give you lots of energy. Changing your eating habits to create more energy then gives you more energy for physical activity. Great greens include spinach, kale, collard greens, Swiss chard, arugula, beet greens and turnip greens. And don't forget great fruits like blueberries -- Wendy's all time favorite.
Add in more whole grains. Most of us don't take in enough fiber which lowers cholesterol and prevents cancer (especially colon cancer). Whole grains are complex carbs that give lasting energy which leads to -- yes again, more energy for physical activity. They're also an inexpensive way to eat so stock up on brown rice, quinoa, spelt, oats, millet and couscous.
Tune into your body. Slow down with meditation, walking and yoga. When you crave something to eat, is it salty, crunchy or sugary? Personally I crave taco chips and salsa. Wendy said reach instead for carrot sticks and a few Kalamata olives to satisfy my taste for something crunchy and salty. And for sugary cravings, she suggests baking something with agave nectar, maple sugar or cinnamon (a big sugar satisfier). As for that evening cocktail, let's all say "empty calories". Wendy suggests wine or hard liquor with a big water chaser over sweet mixed drinks like Margaritas. Ouch!
Make food prep a positive experience because it helps you sustain healthy eating. Create a system. Play music.
Get support for good nutrition. Shop with your significant other or friends and prepare meals to split and share.

My impression after talking with Wendy and Michelle is that it's time to throw out the old owner's manual because in midlife it's a whole different body with new guidelines for maintenance. So while I go get some carrots to crunch on -- what do you think?

Has your body changed during midlife?

Midlife Muse is a professional life coach helping women chart their course through midlife. Visit her at Midlife's A Trip. She also blogs at Midlifebloggers.