BlogHer - When The Mom Numbers Don't Quite Add Up - Comments

phew.

Pamela Jeanne — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 10:11:14 -0500

Still more validation, and from another part of the U.S. I think we're on to something here. As for the prayers -- much appreciated not only for me, but for my people. We infertiles are often overlooked at church (most especially on Mother's Day, which is one of the main reasons I don't go to church anymore)...

Pamela Jeanne

http://www.Coming2Terms.com

OMG I thought I was the only one noticing this

ynnej — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 09:45:27 -0500

I have been noticing this also and could find no proof that it was "not just me". Speaking as a 30 year old married woman who does not have children and is not trying to conceive, I agree that when there are so many friends and strangers pregnant or with infants everywhere, it is very difficult to carry on a normal conversation or go anywhere without doubting myself and my own decision not to have children yet. When I am alone and am honest with myself, I know that I am being true to what my husband and I want at this time in our lives. But when I go to church (as Dana says - I agree), when I go to the grocery store, when I go anywhere, I am surrounded by things singling me out as "weird" for not following this trend...And I do think of my friends who have struggled or are struggling with infertility and will keep you in my prayers. If it is hard on me, I cannot imagine your frustration.

http://ConscientiousConfusion.blogspot.com

For me, church is my

Dana J. Tuszke — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 09:11:58 -0500

For me, church is my personal hell. Every Sunday, we go to church and there's always a pregnant woman or two (or thirteen) bellying up to the altar for Communion. It makes me so mad, and then I feel guilty, because here I am trying to be a good Christian and all I want to do is run far away from that "safe" haven.

I don't see many expecting moms at the grocery store. Maybe because I go at night when everyone else is asleep. Easier to manuever in the late night hours, I think.

I don't see a lot of pregnant women

Denise — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 08:48:33 -0500

but, I do see an awful lot of infants and toddlers. I think by not going to the grocery store very often, I'm missing the pregnancies and seeing the product.

Or could it be that I'm a little bit like you...

I haven't had the infertility issues so pregnancies aren't something on my "painful" radar. I do however have some serious baby fever, and have had serious baby fever for a long long time - so babies are what I see.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Appreciate the honesty

Pamela Jeanne — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 08:43:51 -0500

Betsy,

Good to know I'm not the only one seeing "pregos" here, there and everywhere. I was starting to think my busted uterus had developed some sort of strange magnetic field that attracted the working utes from far and wide.

Pamela Jeanne

http://www.Coming2Terms.com

I think you are correct

betsy.yates — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:29:03 -0500

Speaking as one of the pregos (who needs to shut her whine hole when it comes to the discomforts of pregnancy), I notice a zillion fellow pregos a day. It's creepy even if you are knocked up.

When The Mom Numbers Don't Quite Add Up

Pamela Jeanne — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:13:02 -0500

The grocery store is an infertile woman's special hell. I was reminded of that Sunday afternoon. There I was checking out the asparagus feeling all evolved and ready to start a new chapter in my life -- one that would not dwell on my infertility. And then BAM. Around the corner hidden behind a mountain of freshly picked peaches stood a very pregnant woman caressing her full belly.

(Really? So universe ... this how you reward me for trying to turn over a new leaf?) I consciously kept my eyes focused shoulder height as the very pregnant shopper made her way through produce. No need to torment myself further catching views of her hard-to-miss swollen belly.

Phew! I made it to the dairy section and who's waiting for me? Yet ANOTHER pregnant women rubbing her belly as she stood contemplating her yogurt choices. What the? Did I not get the memo? Is this the equivalent of hat day at a minor league baseball game? Surely today must be "Just-About-to-Go-into-Labor" day at Whole Foods.

At a mininum there must be a baby boomlet taking place. The prega-poolza can't just be my imagination or is it? Depends on which study you want to read. Apparently a boomlet is taking place (just not for me the past decade), according to this study from the CDC: Record Number of Infants Born in U.S. in 2007.

But wait, how then does that explain this report out today from the U.S. Census Bureau? More Women Are Having Fewer Children, If at All

"In the last 30 years, the number of women age 40 to 44 with no children has doubled, from 10 percent to 20 percent. And those who are mothers
have an average of 1.9 children each, more than one child fewer than
women of the same age in 1976."

There can be only one explanation. Clearly the census takers are not spending enough time at the grocery store.