BlogHer - Social Media is for Introverts! - Comments

This is why people like me need people like you, Elisa

lauriewrites — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 12:23:16 -0500

I write as I think, literally, which means that the thought of composing something in my head in its entirety makes my brain hurt. :)

(Thankfully I do edit myself, compulsively. Most of the time. ;))

Laurie

Spot-on, Kristy.

lauriewrites — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:48:43 -0500

I'm an ENFP with a liberal splash of social anxiety (witness the incessant nervous talking) so it's all kinds of fun around here.

At my counseling job at the college where I've worked for several years, we all have our offices, and then a big central area where we see students. I always hijack a space out there, or I work the triage desk, because I cannot bear to be in my office away from the action until I get tired and need to go away. Out there I can also ask questions, run stuff by people, needle the math professors with dumb fraction jokes, etc., etc. Colleagues are continually amazed that I actually want to do this...it just works for me *and I do help, not just there for the party.

I can use my head enough to get myself fed and clothed but cannot process anything of any consequence without speaking, which makes me a joy to live with, I assure you. Writing it down is second best. GET IT OUT, OUT OF MY HEAD, that's the key. ;)

My sister calls me "short story long". ;)

Laurie

Good point, Trisha

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:07:06 -0500

I think "shy" and "introvert" tend to get used interchangeably when they are actually somewhat different. I think of myself as a social introvert :)

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Brilliant tip, Alanna

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:05:19 -0500

Adding to my toolbox immediately!

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Another great insight!

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:04:15 -0500

I'm a visual thinker; so when I am listening or engaging in communication I first see images; I then must translate what I *see* into the right words. This takes practice and time. Social media allows me this luxury.

Y'all are giving me such great lightbulb moments. Me too with the visual thinking! That makes so much sense.

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Ahem, yeah

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:02:52 -0500

I'm tempted to trot out the hoary old cliche that if you look up "extrovert" in the dictionary, your picture would be there. And, hey, look - I just did! ;)

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Thanks!

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:01:20 -0500

Thanks for sharing the extrovert perspective. And the appeal to creative extroverts makes a lot of sense.

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Now to examine my processing

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 11:00:09 -0500

Fascinating - thank you, Kristy! I might be a hybrid. Like Elisa, I write things out mostly fully-formed after composing and editing in my head. But talking through concepts and bigger picture ideas is also my common approach. Hmmm. I'm going to be super curious now!

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Self centered doesn't have to be a bad thing

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:57:06 -0500

If it means looking inward and drawing your energy from that center of yourself vs. other people rather than ego-driven narcissism.

In that case, I'd agree with Denise that I too am a self-centered control freak ;)

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Thanks, Kel

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:54:40 -0500

Thanks for your comments and I thought this was a particularly interesting insight:

"I guess it's the look of rejection that I dislike where as here its just a discussion."

That makes sense and also kind of challenges the oft-heard wisdom that we have to add smiley faces and other emoticons to our online conversations because of the loss of expression cues you have face-to-face. But you make a good point that sometimes not having those expressions can actually facilitate a more comfortable experience.

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Sounds like an introvert

Maria Niles — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 10:51:33 -0500

"I would really prefer to stay home, where it's quiet and not crowded" If you were extroverted you'd feed off that crowd energy.

I don't think introverted = anti-social but I do think there's something to the notion that showing yourself off to the world, unfiltered whether in a crowd or behind a keyboard requires a touch of extroversion. Wanting to control the experience so it doesn't overwhelm, drain or frustrate you would, to me, explain well the appeal of social media to introverts.

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I'm an introvert by any

Trisha — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:42:00 -0500

I'm an introvert by any definition you might use for it! And I feel shy even on the internet - but its easier than talking to people in person. I still have to force myself sometimes.

Crowds drain my energy too.

When I hear some people call themselves introverts it reminds me of Princess Bride - 'I do not think you know what that word means'!

from my blog: 12 Things You Can Do To Set a Healthy Example for Your Kids - can you think of any others to add to the list?

You're right ...

Alanna Kellogg — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 21:43:29 -0500

... I wouldn't need to ask you! I've found it most powerful in my corporate life --

Alanna Kellogg
Kitchen Parade &
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Review, please

Karina Allrich — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:13:13 -0500

But you know that.

Seriously, an excellent point. I'm going to file this little tidbit.

k a r i n a

Karina's Kitchen: Recipes from a [Gluten-Free] Goddess

Introverts take to...

Karina Allrich — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 18:08:32 -0500

social media like a duck to water. This introvert, anyway. IRL social interaction with more than two or three people- at most- is often simply overwhelming. Too much information, stimulation, noise, distraction.

I also think it has to do with not only where you derive your energy but how you process information. Also how you respond to the information. I'm not only an introvert, I'm a visual thinker; so when I am listening or engaging in communication I first see images; I then must translate what I *see* into the right words. This takes practice and time. Social media allows me this luxury.

Although I confess I can also feel completely overwhelmed by Twitter and e-mail. Then I know it's time to go for a walk. With my iPod. And just think.

k a r i n a

Karina's Kitchen: Recipes from a [Gluten-Free] Goddess

Social Media is for Introverts!

Maria Niles — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 01:24:50 -0500

Mashable CEO Pete Cashmore recently outed himself as an introvert. The news was somewhat surprising given that Pete socializes extensively both online and off. I know, I have proof. That's me pictured below with Pete in the crappy cell phone picture at BlogHer '08 after @QueenofSpain kidnapped him off the streets of San Francisco when we randomly passed him by. Pete was glued to his smart phone all night but nonetheless hung out for hours with a motley crew of mostly strangers and even shook his hips a couple of times along with the belly dancer who entertained us at dinner. I suspect like me though he went home and slept deeply in order to recharge.

Introverts conjure up images of anti-social hermits. Yet some of the biggest users of social media consider themselves introverts. Pete's confession was prompted by an exchange he saw on twitter between Suebob and Guy Kawasaki. Guy wrote:

@suebob You may find this hard to believe, but I am an introvert. I have a "role" to play, but I fundamentally am a loner.

At the time Guy's avatar featured him wearing a pink boa from, I believe, the large party he threw at his house with Kirtsy before BlogHer. Again, Guy Kawasaki an introvert? Does not compute.

However, as I write this, 646 people have voted in the Mashable poll and 57% identified themselves as introverts. A mere 15% picked extrovert and most of the rest chose "both."

But, as Pete points out in his post:

And yet, social media pushes us further and further towards openness: from constant updates of your location to live video streaming to instant photo uploads. How, then, do we consolidate the assumed introversion of the early adopter with this tidal wave of online media sharing?

I'm trying to figure out an answer to that question myself. I follow 650+ people on twitter so that apparently makes me a power user. However, in my quest to push myself to get out of the house and socialize more IRL, I went to the SF Mashable party and quickly fled as it was crowded, packed with strangers and I felt all the energy being sapped right out of me.

I think the answer lies somewhere in the ability of social media to allow introverts to be social while home alone safely ensconced behind our keyboards. But none of us can live without human contact lest we devolve into the unabomber. So where's the balance?

Do you have any thoughts or answers for Pete's question or mine? Does social media help you "overcome" your introversion or make you feel "forced" to be more social?

A sampling of blogging introverts:

New Kid on the Hallway laments:

I think orientation actually stresses me out more than classes starting, because so much of orientation is social - tomorrow we have a two-hour lunch in which to get to know each other, a bunch of other socializing-type breaks, and I signed up to go to a Fun Social Event in the evening (though I am allowing myself to consider ditching it if by that time I'm feeling completely wiped from being around strangers all day)

mcecchin at Perfectly Turbulent is keeping his inner introvert at bay by taking improv lessons at Second City:

Social interactions don’t come along easily for everyone. For me, I think I straddle the fence between extrovert and introvert. I love large gatherings and social functions, but sometimes find myself experiencing strong urges to crawl back into my cave in utter silence.

Lisa Barone wrote The Introvert's Guide To Conference Networking - bookmark this one for the next BlogHer gathering.

Head over to She Walks Softly to see the Introvert Sweater.

Dorthea at Alaskan Girl shares her Confessions of a Single Introvert

I like being alone. It allows me to get my bearings and center myself, recharge my batteries, and truly relax. But I also love being with friends and around people. It's a delicate balance.

Meghan Wier at Ramblings of An Insomniac: Diary of a Sleepless Introvert has tips for introverted socializing:

My next idea is Craigslist. There is a section for "platonic" relationships and I have looked at this a few times. Now, a word of warning: like all "online meeting" be careful. There are definitely people who will misrepresent themselves. But I met one of my very good friends here in Charlotte on Craigslist.