BlogHer - Does Astrology Play a Role in Romantic Compatibility? - Comments

Aries Here!

reign4eva — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:42:29 -0500

I was laughing as I read through this post. I can't remember if I've ever read their astrological match, but my parents are a Gemini/Scorpio couple and they've been married 26 years, and together longer than that.

I don't make astrological signs the most important thing when I meet a guy, but I do like to read about them. I feel like the zodiac sign gives me good insight into things about a person: likes, dislikes, temperament, etc.

www.youngflyandfabulous.com

More great astrology info

kimmerie — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 13:37:13 -0500

I agree with Michelle. Well put. I can also recommend a couple of very good books by an ace astrologer. They both can help clear up issues or at least better understand astrology. Astrologer Phyllis Firak Mitz (my awesome astrologer) wrote, You're Every Sign and Astrology's Hot Secrets to Romance. The second one sounds spicy but they're both very intelligent, easy to follow, and best of all, accurate. see what you think.

I'm at www.helpmewithmybook.com/blog

Good to know!

Zandria — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 08:17:25 -0500

Thank you for going into all that detail, Michelle. It's actually really good to know that a person's sign doesn't doom a couple to happiness or not. :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

real astrology is so not this!

astrologydetective — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 06:32:36 -0500

Hey Zandria,

I am a professional astrologer, and reading your post made me realise that a lot of people have total misconceptions as to what astrology is all about. There is sooooo much more than sun signs, even though they are quite dominant forces, as the sun represents the self.

Gemini and Scorpio are inconjunct signs, this is not necessarily bad energy, but neutral. Inconjunct harmonies are ones where you just never fully click, even though you think the person is really cool, and really try, you are just at crossed wires all the time.

Beware though that there are other factors at play when it comes to love compatibility: Venus (love), Mercury (mind), Mars (passion), and Moon (emotion) all create a complex web of intermingling dynamics that create an overall connection between people. So please don't write anyone off because of their sun sign!

As an astrologer I have seen too many people come to me, kind of almost damaged from things that other astrologers told them "as truth" or that they read in "cookbook" websites/books. Astrology is really cool cause it does really work. But every person and their chart are complex and must be looked at globally. It is also important to realise, that all aspects in astrology have a postive and negative manifestation. The cool use of real astrology is to determine these so that you can use your free will to turn situations around. For example, learn to deal with the pitfalls of a Scorpio/Gemini combo instead of just walking away.

When looking for an astrologer, dont give them the power to tell you your destiny, that is always yours, but they can help show you the way!

Happy dating!

Michelle

astrologydetective.com

blog: astrologyofatrainwreck.com

Gemini Here!

Mommyto5 — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 22:07:41 -0500

I'm a Gemini (May 24) yet I've read I'm also part Taurus. Nice to know I'm that complex!

I've been single now for 7 years and used to rush to read a compatibility profile when I met someone. Instantly I would discount the man because I would read that there is no sense in trying...it was doomed. I was only to find an Aquarian or a maybe an Aires. I married an Aires...that didn't work and we were far from compatible. I dated an Aquarian and he was great....but he also pushed my buttons because he was a perfectionist and I'm a creative, fun-loving woman. Basically, I was to remain single if I believed all I read.

I met a Sagitarrius 4 years ago...he was going thru a divorce and I was a few years out of one but still reeling and focusing on raising young children. I adored him but found many ways that he was not for me...why? Because I read that he was going to be a tough match for me. We parted ways. He contacted me not to long ago to see how I was doing. I told him we should meet for a drink for old times sake to catch up on kids, jobs, etc. The one drink turned into an 8 hour date. We're now dating and enjoying each other's company so much....maybe we both "grew" a bit and we're at a point where we mesh really well. No idea. But the stars were so far off...it's all about timing. I'm a realist, he's a romantic. He's an engineer, I am a writer. I kiss him and it's better than chocolate. Imagine that.......

Cheryl

http://dailyblonde.blogspot.com

HOROSCOPE & COMPATIBILITY

greatplanner — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 22:36:08 -0500

Betty:

I must agree with you I truly believe in horoscope and the whole compatibility thing. I now know that some of the men I used to date were the opposite of my sign. Therefore, our personalities, likes and dislikes didn't gel well together. People really ought to check there compatibility chart before dating.

Girl do I have something to tell you!

enticingenigma — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 20:53:57 -0500

Where do I even begin? I was around 15/16 years old, and my 25/30ish year old friends (one of them being my boyfriend's manager) introduced me to this book that blew my mind: The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need. Not only did this book explain to me why my boyfriend and I fought all the time (a Sagittarius woman with a Taurus man), but every relationship I had after that was summed up in the relationship section of my book! It freaked me out, but I always knew why things hadn't worked out, and I learned to stop blaming myself for incompatibility. Seriously, this book is magical. I have dated every sign that's wrong for me from Scorpio to Pisces to Capricorn. However, until recently, I didn't got serious with a sign that was compatible for me (Aquarius, Leo, Aries, or Libra). That's when I met Mika. He is the love of my life, and he blows every other relationship I have ever had out of the water. And he's a Leo. Even the relationship section of my book agrees with me! There's a great deal of truth to astrology, but you have to find the right source, know all the facts about astrology (it's very intricate!), and most importantly, maintain an open mind.

<3 Jill

http://www.bettyconfidential.com/am/jill.html

That rationale sounds very familiar!

Zandria — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:59:16 -0500

Ummm...right after I wrote this post about NO SCORPIOS(!!!), someone contacted me from the online dating site. Yes, it was a very hot Scorpio. And yes, after exchanging a few emails I sent him my number...

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

Here's what I do.

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 09:24:14 -0500

"That's it! No more Capricorns!"

"OK, I'm not really going to not date someone because of astrology. That's silly."

< Capricorn / Cancerian nonsense ensues >

"That's it! No more Capricorns!"

I mean it this time. Really.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Makes sense!

Zandria — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:52:06 -0500

It's funny, though. I've only paid attention to signs of romantic interests -- never how my sign relates to those of male/female friends.

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

Hmm...interesting!

Zandria — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 20:49:59 -0500

I've noticed that sometimes people's personalities sound nothing like their astrological description. I'll look into that book you mentioned. Thanks, Vered!

Personal blog: Keep Up With Me
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

As a single data point...

WomenBloom — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:39:58 -0500

Allison Allen

Bloomer-in-Chief, WomenBloom

http://www.womenbloom.com/blog/

I think astrology is an archetypal system just many others, Meyers Briggs, enneagrams, numerology etc. I do not pretend to understand why astrology seems to bear resemblance to reality at least as far as the general characteristics of each sign, but being a student of human nature and knowledgeable about Jungian psychology, I think there is something to it.

I have Scorpio as my ascendant and when I read that those folks tend to lose their first spouses to accidents, my mouth fell open. What an odd thing...but the odd thing is I was widowed by my husband's death in a plane crash. Coincidence? Seems pretty strange to be that.

Now, I don't believe daily horoscopes, but I do look at someone's sign as a point of interest. I know I tend to value Taurus' as friends, but they would drive me nuts as a romantic partner. Being a Sag sun sign with the scorpio ascendant thing goin' on, i dated a guy who was a scorpio sun and sag ascendant. I don't know what it means but I know it was a powerful relationship, one that didn't ultimately work out, but still haunts me 3 years later.

Long way of saying, I do take it into account as a single data point, but base my decisions on what is actually going on between us as the ultimate arbiter.

I'm cancer too : )

kazari — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 20:42:40 -0500

My husband is a Taurus, so together we build a relationship based on security, stability, and nesting. : )

I always like to know people's signs, too. But out of curiousity, mostly. I dated all different sorts (including scorpio's) and generally found the least compatible people were other Cancers!

I think I have a recipe for that...

Always want to know someone's sign...

debra roby — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 16:00:41 -0500

Forget just knowing a romantic interests' sign, I want everyones!

I'm a Cancer with a natal chart strongly planted in Cancer and Libra. Whether it's coincidence or the stars, I've always gotten along best with Virgo women and Libra men.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb

Natal Chart

Laracolvin — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 13:57:42 -0500

I've been to a session with an astrologer who explored my natal chart, and it made too much sense not to believe in it. It's about much more than an umbrella sign and typical characteristics of that sign. For instance, your husband's sun sign may be Pisces but his rising sign could be something different, which could explain why he doesn't match the general characteristics of a Pisces. There are many factors at play. And while it seems whimsical, it is actually quite a study in complexity.

Does Astrology Play a Role in Romantic Compatibility?

Zandria — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 08:33:20 -0500

I admit it. It’s one of the things I make sure to look at when I’m scrolling through someone’s online dating profile. It’s not the first thing I look for -- photos, height, and the way they describe themselves come first -- but yes, I do take note of a person’s astrological sign. I don’t live by my daily horoscope and I wouldn’t entirely discount someone with an incompatible sign if I liked everything else about them. But I do take a look.

On the online dating site I use, I’ve noticed that some men choose not to display their astrological sign. I don’t think it’s a matter of being ultra-conscientious about identity/privacy issues (are they worried about someone guessing their birth date within a 30-day range?). I can only hypothesize that some people choose not to display their sign because they don’t want women factoring it into their decision-making process about whether to make contact with them or not.

As a Gemini, the only astrological sign I’m opposed to dating is a Scorpio. Read any romance/compatibility report -- our signs don’t work well together. I also happened to have a huge crush on a Scorpio during my junior and senior years of high school. He consumed my little teenage heart -- I would stare at him longingly during the one class we had together; I convinced myself when he occasionally met my gaze that he was doing so because he secretly liked me. I think I even called his house and hung up on him a few times. (This was ’96-’97, when you could still get away with these things, before Caller ID. Or at least before Caller ID had reached rural Buckingham county, Virginia.)

I was dismayed when I borrowed a book from a friend on astrology, and learned of mine and my crush’s romantic incompatibility. I didn’t let it stop me, though! I knew -- just knew -- that if given a chance, we could beat the odds and make it work. (Ah, the idealistic logic of a 16-year-old.) I was never given that chance, and I’m sure it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he was a popular, good-looking basketball player and I...well, I wasn’t in a corresponding clique.

So basically, Scorpios are out. It’s a holdover emotion from my tender high-school years, coupled with the fact that our signs are not known to work well together. It has happened a few times -- especially when I’m not blown away by someone’s online profile right away -- that I’ve noticed someone is a Scorpio and I felt entirely justified in clicking away, never to return (poor Scorpios).

I know there are exceptions to every rule, and I’m sure there are plenty of people with incompatible signs who are living happily ever after -- but it does make me wonder. I wonder if a couple who has issues because they aren’t compatible astrologically would get along better with someone who has a more compatible sign. It seems to me like it would play a part. A woman who is fun-loving and chipper might not match very well with a man whose temperament is dark and brooding. A man who loves to travel might clash with a woman who can relate to her sign’s tendency to stick close to home.

I wonder how many people think about this. I wonder if there’s ever been a study about people who are married or in long-term relationships, whether they stay together or separate, and what their astrological signs are. It would be interesting to see if there’s any correlation.

Do you take someone’s astrological sign into consideration before you date them? Are you currently with someone that you know is a compatible or incompatible sign? If so, do you think it plays a role in how well you get along (or don’t)?

Related Reading:

At Dating Scene, Karina talks about sign compatibility and asks, Is it for you?

Urban Panther is a Gemini like me, and asks the same kinds of questions in her post: Do you put any stock in your zodiac sign? Would you look up a potential partner's sign to see if your signs are compatible?

Miss March says she has a “dating website addiction.” One of the things she makes sure to check on a person’s profile is their astrological sign.

(Contributing editor Zandria made late-night trifle a few nights ago and regularly blogs at Zandria.us.)