Playing Their Reindeer Games

AnissaMayhew — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:28:15 -0500

Every year I give Peter to his mistress. She comes in the late
summer and stays until winter. She is coy and fickle, leaving him
often frustrated and angry, but few things bring him greater
exhilaration.

I share this with you now because the NFL
season is about to start. And I am about to say goodbye to him again.
Perhaps it won’t be such a jarring departure since he won’t be here
most Sundays to rage and crow at the TV. He will be cozy in his
football love shack in Alabama, spooning with his pre-game analysis and
post-game wrap-ups.

Early in our marriage I realized that if I ever wanted to have a
conversation with my hubs during football season, I was going to have
to talk his lingo. I would have to be able to argue the benefits of
the passing game vs the rushing game, I would need to recognize the
critical moment its better to chance the 2 point conversion. I would
have to move beyond cheering for the team with the prettiest helmets.

The things I have done to make this marriage work.

The year came when I decided that I would no longer stand to the
side and allow my husband to be stolen away from me. I would put up a
fight!

I joined his fantasy football league.

For those of you unfamiliar…relish your blessed unawareness….fantasy
football is a game. You pick and choose real life players onto your
“team”, based on their action on the field “your” players put up
points. You are playing against another team with their hodgepodge of
players, hoping that your team puts up more points than theirs…giving
you the sweet victory. It all leads to the fantasy football superbowl,
a trophy and smack talk privileges for the rest of the year.

Yeah.

I do this.

I am the only woman in our league. I am given permission to enter
“the man room”…which, seriously, the first year they asked me if I’d be
ok with making my draft picks from the hallway…ensuring the sanctity of
the MAN ROOM. I worked my estrogen laden mojo all over that place,
using coasters and making sure the toilet seat was DOWN. Last year I
took a crock pot of dip. Next year it’s a PowerPoint presentation on
the benefits of manscaping. I’m breaking down the wall.

I just want you all to know that I have a kick-butt team this year.

I am going to bring home the trophy for all the wives out there,
making sandwiches and recycling beer cans, listening to their husbands
give their hearts and souls to a bunch of 250 pound men in tights.

--www.hope4peyton.org

--www.mayhewreview.com

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Playing Their Reindeer Games