I have a new favorite

SuetheGreat — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:16:17 -0500

Written by a totally naive 24 year old girl - all about her crush on her best friend:

http://mysuperhopelessromance.blogspot.com

It KILLS ME. I think we've all been there at one time or another, haven't we? I'm hooked.

Excellent picks, Susan. I

avflox — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:25:19 -0500

Excellent picks, Susan. I always look for your posts when I come on BlogHer and what you bring to the table never disappoints.

Sex & Relationship Round-up: Blogs to savor

susan mernit — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:01:19 -0500

In every part of the blogosphere, new voices arrive, and old voices go.

Sometimes, they are the same people moving to new blogs(and new identities), other times they are new bloggers who command a wider audience as if they’ve suddenly found their voice, or their topic (and sometimes they have).

It’s been a while since I’ve looked around at the sex and relationships blogosphere for interesting voices, so this post is a round-up of some of the people I am reading, especially those I have not written about before. (If an entry is marked NSFW, be warned; this blog or blog post has adult content and is for 18+.)

The focus this time are voices that live at the edge of the mainstream, but will be accessible and authentic most readers; if you have suggestion of other new bloggers writing about sex and relationships that I should check out or write about, or that you'd like other readers of this post to look at, post in the comments, please.

(NSFW posts follow)

A Sexual Adventure: A Clandestine Rendezvous
Dating, sex and pushing the edges for a post-college adventuress and her quite explicit blog.

“Sometimes I think he's afraid to undress me. That somehow being close to each other with clothes on just isn't right. I stripped and laid back on the bed, and he did the same and slid in next to me. We were still warm from our walk but it was glorious being in such close contact with his smooth body. I got closer and draped my leg over his hip as I kissed him...deeply.”

The Collared Coed: Apathy
Delilah is a student who is in a dominant/submissive relationship with a forty year old man and reading per posts one can't but wonder when the attention she's getting is going to wear thin. I like the youthful, natural voice in what is often a very dramatic, Phantom of the Opera-esque blogging community, but noet this blog does describe an alternative lifestyle.

“I just don’t feel attractive, I don’t feel like a good submissive pet, I don’t want to undress in front of anyone at Folsom Fringe, and I don’t even feel uncomfortable undressing in front of Sir right now. I want to cover myself up with sweatpants and my East Coast University sweatshirt.

I’m also a little emotional and spooked because someone in one of my Communications classes called me out on my collar.”

Sexuality happens: First BDSM date
More frank talk and astute relationship observations from a women who describes herself (in part): "a fierce femme, interested in human sexuality, owner and lover of two cats, eclectic, unique, quirky, non-monogamous, allergic to pink, a vegetarian for 16 years and counting."

“That night, I went out with my best friend, and F kept texting. In fact, I think we got the closest to sexting (sex texting) that I ever have. And it was HOT and distracting. And later, she called me to cheer her up. Again, it just felt good. Someone who calls me, and texts me, and wants to see me, instead of everything being on me.”

Biodiverse resistance: sex not just about penetration
Politics, gender, sexuality, relationships dissected by Shiva, a UK trans femiist and “general resister of commonly held assumptions.”

“Many men (in particular, tho also some women) seemingly don't want to believe in, or even feel threatened by the possible existence of, a man whose sexuality isn't penis-centred - it almost seems like some people's whole worlds would collapse if i told them that i would, in all likelihood, be completely happy with a relationship consisting (in sex-act terms) purely of fingering and cunnilingus, and with no penetration whatsoever. Such "abnormality", according to some, needs to be pathologised, given an "origin story" of sexual abuse or some other kind of trauma (the ever-awesome Trinity recently posted about similar assumptions being commonly made about BDSM here - it's really annoying that commenting on her blog is limited to people with Livejournals).”

Cheerful Meglomaniac : Being horrifyingly wrong
Blog by Ryan, a transgendered woman whose sharp look at feminism and gender roles within her own relationships and personal transformation definitely moved me.

"I was no less trans 5 years ago when I was still a fundamentalist Christian. I was no less trans 3 years ago when I was deeply misogynistic and hated my womanhood. I was no less trans 1 year ago today, when I was considering killing myself, and was still 24 hours away from hearing that I could transition.

Over the last 12 months my explorations of queer theory and gender theory have made me much more open minded, but that said, I still fuck up. I say dumb shit, especially about sexual orientation and women, and feminism. "

(Okay for the office)

Taking Steps: The sky is falling
Little Light is a media activist and woman of color whose poetic voice—especially in this September 11th post—is well worth a read.

“It is time for us to acknowledge that our love is an act of war.
It seems distasteful to say. It feels wrong. Our love, our lives, our nurtured gardens and families, we say, these are not weapons. These are not acts of violence. To us, they are not.

Nonetheless, there are those who insist breathlessly, endlessly, that they are. That our families are destroying their way of life. That our existing in public shocks and harms them. That attending school, sitting in a restaurant, having to hear at all that we exist is an affront that threatens to annihilate them.”

Great Men-Voices to hear

While BlogHer is about women, I am always looking for guys who can write authentically about the sex and relationships thing. Jason Toney
is an active friend feed user (I often like his posts there), but his blog is all right as well and this post got me wanting to read more:

What I remember is holding hands.

What I remember are the ears. the dress. the shirt. the hair.

What I remember is the missing belt.

What I remember are the shenanigans.

What I remember is hearing songs I know well and feeling like I was hearing them for the first time.

What I remember is wanting to play it cool but revealing I'm a sap.

What I remember is not being afraid.

What I remember could fill a book. But like the man said, the game is to be sold not to be told.

Who are the sex and relationship bloggers than continue to have resonance for you? What themes and topics interest you the most? And do you have any new discoveries to share here? Post away, please.

BlogHer - Sex & Relationship Round-up: Blogs to savor - Comments

I have a new favorite

Excellent picks, Susan. I

Sex & Relationship Round-up: Blogs to savor