BlogHer - BlogHer '06 Session Discussion: MommyBlogging is a Radical Act! on Day Two - Comments

Thank you very much for the

guga — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 09:19:14 -0500

Thank you very much for the information you provided us with. I'm sure a lot of us finds it useful.

ps: as a mom I recomend you some discount vitamins

Thanks Jose!

Lisa Stone — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 11:51:48 -0500

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Mommy Bloggers in the Lusosphere

josemurilo — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 10:37:57 -0500

Hello,
Just to let you know that I quoted this debate in an article I just posted at Global Voices.
Thanks!
Jose.

*Lusosphere = Portuguese speaking blogosphere

mommyblogs....

Crunchy Carpets — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 12:52:50 -0500

It is such a hot button issue is it not?

The blogverse in its entirety is amazing. My dh reads a gajillion of them....pertaining to areas HE is interested in.

He teased me a bit about my blog when I started it..but really feels it is a good thing and has no issues really with it.

Mommyblogging seems to fill that void that our society does not fill. The need for community and neighbourliness and communications amongst mothers.

As mentioned....mommyblogging is the closest to the truth you will get about being a mother, a woman, and so on...

We all realized the books and magazines painted far too pretty a picture and that we are all different.

Being a woman is not 'one' thing..we are all different,with different lifestyles, needs, wants, issues, etc.

blogging lets us see this and share and talk about all this...with the one common thread...children in the centre of it all.

I think mommyblogging is the best way to stop the old stereotypes about motherhood and our lack of brains or having anything worthwhile to say.

I think it teaches that we are all dynamic and opinionated human beings and that our brains are not shut off the moment we push out a small being from our foo foo's.

Granted...somedays I do feel like a brainless dork...but don't we all!

These blogs do show how polarized we are sometimes. How we seem to carry so much anxiety regarding ourselves and our roles in life.

How we worry about judgement. How we compare ourselves. How we struggle with our chosen paths.

Maybe the best thing to come from all these mom blogs is the fact that we can learn that no matter how different we are...we are all women...and that is all that matters.

LiveBlog I found

Karianna — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 01:19:38 -0500

The url had a mistake in it, here is Patriciaâ€™s post: http://insnarkville.com/?p=121#more-121

karianna.clubmom.com

is there a liveblog

sweetney — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 18:27:22 -0500

is there a liveblog transcript of this? can't find it...

xo trace
++++++++++
sweetney.com
email me

Crappy Audiocast Available

Twinmama — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 15:24:09 -0500

I've posted a rough and completely unedited version of the mommyblogging session here: http://www.slolane.org/blogher06/mommyblogging.mp3

Warning: it's huge; 70MB or so. I apologize for the quality and size. (I probably won't be able to leave it up forever, either, due to bandwidth considerations). Just a preview treat until the regular audiocast is posted.

UPDATE: I hit the bandwidth wall, sorry. The quality kinda sucked anyway.

just for moms, stuff the wars

rachelcook — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 12:30:26 -0500

And the icing on the cake is that I created Minti for just this reason. Magazines didn't give me a place to discuss real issues. Minti is entirely for moms to discuss parenting as well as for dads (who are quite active) it's for any parent (carer, grandparents etc).

Minti is a collaborative publisher that has Advice articles written by parents, member blogs, groups, forums, lounge...and at the same time the contributor mom is able to talk about her experiences being a mom and gaining a reputation just by participating articles in minti, minti friends and other parent visitors from search engines, learn more about the mom blogger on her profile page and her own personal blogs outside minti. Minti is like a search engine, so advice you provide is like a publication on the web, like an author would have a book and then a personal homepage or blog site (so author minti advice, you also can visit their own personal blog on minti or outside of minti. I created minti as a platform to be the medium were parents can be the voice to reach parents globally and find the village we have been looking for. Pass down golden advice from experienced moms.

Popular advice - since march over 1000 visits...

Parent created advice on minti...
Breast or bottle?
internet safety
Raising a Smarter Baby Part 5 - Baby Toys
Spend time with your kids before it's too late
Living Harmoniously: Your Dog & Your Child
Group B Streptococcus - The most common cause of life-threatening infection in newborns in the UK
Golden parenting advice - how to get started
Encouraging What's Creative
Eating For Good Behaviour
Recognising and Treating Conjunctivitis
Mastitis - How To Recognise It and How To Treat It
Have hours of fun with a mirror
Building Self-Esteem in Your Baby Through Touch
7 Tips for Potential Stay at Home Dads
Remembering When
Healthy Food for little fingers
Children come in all shapes, sizes and abilities!
Results of my Dry Nights Experiment
Housekeeping Partners' Relationship
Taking Care of Mom
Messy Moms 101
Traveling with toddlers
What to Expect at 4 Months Old
Postnatal Depression
Mini Pill affecting breast milk taste
What is folate?
How much to tell your kids being a firefighter
Staying Connected With Your Kids With A Shared Journal
Buy Multiple Sizes of the Same Outfit
Head-Banging Babies
Speaking
Little Helpers
Sippy Cups: When? Which ones?
Homeschooling
Passionate Parenting
Logical Consequences You Can Use Right Now!
Eight tips for encouraging kids to enjoy books and reading

I think the mommy wars are over and moms can just live at minti without having to feel like they need to justify themselves as I did...and I did something about it and thought up Minti...

Looking forward to this session!

Twinmama — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 01:00:13 -0500

I agree with Asha...arguing about whether or not mommyblogging is legitimate or whatever is kind of academic and I don't think there's much of a debate there.

I would be curious to hear discussion about the questions gingajoy mentioned at the end there, re: ClubMom, etc., and I'm interested in the "balance" issue as previously mentioned with respect to finding time to blog the way you want.

Wht is that?

Krisco — Sat, 08 Jul 2006 22:59:09 -0500

Mommyblogging is a radical act.

I missed that since I didn't attend last year, but Alice summed things up perfectly. (Per usual!)

I too have noticed that putting "mommy" in front of anything equals an immediate denigration. Is it because mommies are too bedraggled, tired, and focused on others to speak up for ourselves? Or because we're bedraggled and tired and that brings on the denigration?

I find it odd because, for the most part, people like their own moms.

So why the denigration?

I look forward to this panel. It should be great and from the looks of the comments, the audience will have plenty to contribute (or at least blog about afterwards:) too.

Me too

callistawolf — Tue, 23 May 2006 16:37:58 -0500

Pretty much just a big fat ditto here. :)

I don't blog about my family all the time, but I still feel I'm a mommy blogger. Because everything else aside, that's the main focus of my life and therefore the main focus of my blog (since my blog *is* my life). Like Zoot said, I've also thought about future ramifications of my blog on my family. I like to think that I'm mentioning all the little moments that I otherwise would forget over time but that we can all go back and enjoy later on. What a gift that must be!

Like Mir, I'm blogging annonymously...but considering "stepping out the closet" so to speak. That would make an interesting topic, I'd think. How to blog annonymously or how to go from anonymous to not-so-much. Anyhow.

Very much looking forward to attending this session. It's been on my "docket" since I first heard of it!

What they said

Asha Dornfest — Tue, 23 May 2006 11:17:44 -0500

But what do you think? What do you want to learn? What do you want to hear? What do you never want to hear again? What would make you attend this session?

I think: Mommyblogging is the first widely-accessible literature that creates a well-rounded picture of what motherhood is. Beyond the images, beyond the stereotypes, beyond the social expectations, in all its messy, painful, beautiful glory. I know I'm preaching to the converted here, but the importance of mommyblogging can't be underestimated. Thank you, Alice, for saying so eloquently what many of us feel.

I want to learn and hear: others' experiences Mommyblogging. What do you write about? What do you get out of blogging about your life as a mother? How does/do your spouse/kids/extended family/friends react to your writing? Has blogging changed the way you feel as a mother? Has blogging been the catalyst for real-time friendship?

I don't want to hear: whether or not Mommyblogging is legitimate. I think we can put this tired debate to rest, if there ever really was a debate to begin with.

What will make me attend: I'm there!

It has put the woman back

melanieinorygun — Mon, 22 May 2006 14:36:47 -0500

It has put the woman back into the mother back into parenting.

I love that. It sums up why I feel blogging by mothers is important. When you have a child, your mind doesn't get put into pickle... you are still in there, and the intellect that you were born with is in there, too. The only thing that may have changed is your subject matter. And by damn, it's pretty important subject matter, at that: The next generation, and documentation of how they were raised - the prevailing wisdom on childrearing in the trenches, not in some book of theories.
And the other thing that interests me is best summed up by a question my 7-year-old asked me (about an anecdote I published where she was the main character): "Mommy, why did you put that on the Internet?"
Whoops. I often wonder if I'll get asked that question again someday when it's far more important to her than it is now.

sadly

gingajoy — Mon, 22 May 2006 14:16:07 -0500

sadly, you put the term "mommy" or "mother" in front of anything, and it immediately gets denigrated. this is part of a long and painful history where women have had to struggle to gain the "privilege" to write and be read. I don't write extensively about my son, but my identity as a mother permeates a large proportion of what I write, and so I claim the term "mommyblogger" proudly--this to me is a political gesture in line with what alice and sweetney have called for.

though i feel sheepish pimping myself like this, i actually wrote what was less a post than a small essay on the issue here: http://gingajoy.blogspot.com/2006/05/tale-of-two-mommy-sites.html

some of the questions I ponder are all related to the above discussion--what does the explosion in mommyblogging tell us about the fundamental gaps in the way we are represented in the mainstream media? there's still so much to explore here, but for me it boils down to this. there IS no such thing as a "mommyblog" genre necessarily--one reason we are so attracted to reading the stories of other mothers is that it shows how widely ranging our experiences are (despite traditional media's attempt to package that into the "mommy experience" genre) mommy blogs show us motherhood as deeply flawed, messy, and contradictory. one dominant trait (generic?) among these blogs is how the blogs build community via empathy (though not always). But I think as soon as we try and determine the generic traits of the mommy blog, those traits will be immediately undercut by those who write them--it's the nature of the form. I guess before trying to define the form, I'd ask why are we doing so? (and there can be valid reasons, I am sure).

other questions I am interested in--what does this explosion in writing tell us about women today? why writing as a medium, especially autobiographical writing?
In turn, how does the act of writing affect the blogger's own sense of identity? (I know that for me, as I began a few months back, a sense of "audience"--or lack thereof--really affected how I approached the medium. As I got more readers, and read more blogs by others, my "voice" changed. my writing identity changed.)

The other phenonemon I am interested in (and write about in the post) is the emergence of corporate sites like ClubMom, which harness the potential of mommyblogging, while at the same time presenting the veneer of the mainstream media--corporations are paying our favorite women to write, which is great. I do not have a problem with blogging being a commerical activity in the slightest (I wish I was in the pack!!). But, what are the repurcussions of this? How is this both cause for celebration and caution? I'd definitely like to hear speakers address that question.

thanks!

I really like your

supa — Mon, 22 May 2006 13:35:28 -0500

I really like your perspective on this, Megan.

I'm not "all-kid all-the-time," but I still feel like a mommyblogger. And I especially agree that the more honest and true we are, the more radical mommyblogging is.

I'm interested in the political possibilities -- the grassroots-type awakening that comes with finding out you're not alone. I have dreams of all us "mommybloggers" rising up and just going buck-nuts on Congress, or something.

Also, most righteous Blind Melon reference.

BlogHer '06 Session Discussion: MommyBlogging is a Radical Act! on Day Two

Elisa Camahort — Sat, 20 May 2006 12:57:41 -0500

4th in our series introducing you to each of our BlogHer Conference '06 sessions and their speakers, and finding out what you would like to get from each session. Today, I bring you:

Day Two: MommyBlogging is a Radical Act

Last year Alice Bradley brought the house down declaring MommyBlogging a "radical act." Now, she returns in a discussion with Tracey from Sweetney and Mir from Woulda Coulda Shoulda on what that means. Far from receding, this issue continues to resonate on- and off-line. Can you say "MommyWars"? Well, plenty of moms wish you wouldn't!

So, what's the back story here? I'm sure Alice and Tracey and Mir will pipe in with their own perspective, so I will only tell you mine. During last year's closing session of BlogHer an attendee told her fellow attendees that if they "stopped blogging about themselves they could change the world." When I heard that I interpreted it to be directed at all of us who blog about our lives and the events therein big and small, but some (maybe most) of the MommyBloggers in the room felt the remark was directed at them. Seems that more than a few MommyBloggers felt there was a distinction being drawn by some other bloggers between people blogging about "important" stuff, and people "just" blogging about their feelings, their families and the joys and struggles of parenting.

And they didn't like it at all.

[img_assist|fid=365|thumb=1|alt=Alice Bradley]
So Alice Bradley (aka finslippy) held up her hand, waited patiently until we got a microphone to her, stood up and said loud and clear: "MommyBlogging is a radical act!" adding something to the effect of "As marginalized as women bloggers are or feel they are, MommyBloggers are perhaps even more marginalized." With the benefit of time and space Alice adds this thought:

We readers and authors of parenting blogs are looking for a representation of authentic experience that we're not getting elsewhere. We sure as hell aren't getting it from the parenting magazines. If you want to find out how to make nutritious muffins that look like kitty cats, you can read those. But a parenting magazine will never help you feel less alone, less stupid, less ridiculous. This is the service I think parenting blogs provide-we share our lopsided, slightly hysterical, often exaggerated but more or less authentic experiences. If one blogger writes about, say, her bad behavior at the doctor's office, then maybe at some point, some freaked-out new mother is going to read that and feel a little better-less stupid, less ridiculous-about her own breakdown at the pediatrician's.

Tracey from Sweetney was one of many moms to carry on the conversation at her blog. About MommyBlogging. About the word "MommyBlogging". About identity and the power of words and the community of parenting bloggers. Check out the the thoughtful comments she got to the above post in reply to these questions:

* in your view, what's a mommy blogger? (hey blogher folks! remember this?!)
* is it a genre with very specific characteristics? or simply a term meaning "someone who has spat forth humanity that has a blog"?
* who would you place in this category, as an example?
* and finally: am i a mommyblogger?

Mir from Woulda Coulda Shoulda comes from a slightly different perspective. She's a single mom who's a lot more private about the public (and radical) act of MommyBlogging. No pictures of her or the kids, no full real names. But she's been at this for exactly two years...longer than most...and those two years have seen her through a lot of radical changes. Through it all she has blogged it.

We non-mommies might see the MommyBloggers as being full of power these days. Everywhere we go we trip over articles about them and businesses devoted to them and opportunities for them.

And then a book like The Mommy Wars or Caitlin Flanagan's latest re-ignites the discussion and makes it clear: it's not that simple, and it's not that easy to put us all in a neat little box.

So, we see a lot to talk about in this session. But what do you think? What do you want to learn? What do you want to hear? What do you never want to hear again? What would make you attend this session?