BlogHer - Considering Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" - Comments

Thought-provoking article

IshtarM — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 07:19:36 -0600

I find Katy Perry's song very catchy I have to admit and I enjoy listening to it, even though the lyrics irritate me somewhat.

What irks me is that the subtext seems to be "I kissed a girl and I liked it...but don't worry I'm not a lesbian!" Maybe I'm totally misreading it but that's what I get when I listen to it. Also, it irritates me that the girl she refers to doesn't seem to be a real person - the girl she kisses in the song is merely a convenience for exploring whatever fantasy is looping in her head. She could've kissed a cardboard cutout for the same effect.

And it does bother me that the song assumes it's ok for her to kiss a girl even though she's in a relationship - the implication being that it doesn't count somehow?

Man! I Feel Like a Woman.

Geneva1050 — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 18:11:57 -0500

Scorpio Tiger, Need I say more?

"I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It" reminds me of Shania Twain's "Man! I Feel Like a Woman" which has become a lesbian anthem - at least in certain lesbian circles. At first blush both songs are anti-feminist and full of stereotypes of female sexuality.

But, I find both of them delightfully subersive and fun. To me both songs convey the message, "hey we can dress up in traditional male-titillation clothing but turn each other on." I totally get the criticisms but love both of these songs.

RIGHT ON SISTA'S!

lilmikey — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 20:43:11 -0500

I hate that damn song, the only reason I sing to it is that it's plays so much on the friggin' radio it plays in my head whether I like it or not. The older I get the more sacred I find intimacy to be. Kisses are serious, it defines romance and everything that is real about true love and desire. A kiss says a lot about a person, and is so intimate. Sure I have been drunk too and kissed a few I probably shouldn't have, but, I did feel some sort of emotional connection from it afterward-how could you not. As far as the song goes, there are a lot of women out there who have thought of kissing another woman-let's admit it. I thought about it and I did it-it wasn't animalistic like kissing a man can sometimes be-it was sensual and sweet. I would do it again if I had the opportunty. Do I think this song sends the wrong message to our youth? Perhaps in some way, but also lets them know it's ok to be or feel different. Is it ok to cheat and betray? No of course not, but it's ok to have a different sexual orientation other than what society has deemed appropriate. There are so many dazed, confused and scaired teens out there, the last thing we should do is judge. The world is changing, peopel will never be the same from one era to another, that;s what makes us so interesting and unique.

YES!

yotebug — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 14:59:06 -0500

All I can say to this is, AMEN!

There are so many things that annoy me about this song and you definitely hit on all of them.

I'm almost on the "it celebrates experimentation" train...

Liz Rizzo — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:48:32 -0500

But then I just can't quite get there. I don't think that the song sincerely commits to that; *its* playing coy in some negative ways. Particularly when you watch that video, where no one kisses at all.

At the end of the day, I really just feel like it doesn't truly acknowledge that kissing a girl is equal to kissing a boy. You may be experimenting... just like you may be experimenting when you kiss a boy.

That said, I love the commentary here, and I'm actually relieved to hear some good things and thoughts about the song. If it does give a girl the bravery to try something she really wants to, that's definitely something.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

That's cool.

Liz Rizzo — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 09:42:22 -0500

I guess you never know where those sorts of openings will come from. Thanks for sharing; you rock! :)

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

I Kinda Like It

GirlProfNYC — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:43:02 -0500

Hey Liz,

Absolutely great post! This was my jam this past summer! Every single time I heard it, that catchy hook found it’s way inspiring me to sing loudly and might I add quite awful is the singing voice as well. I’m so torn on the argument. I do feel, perhaps the denial “don’t mean I’m in love tonight” is offensive, but the kissing of the girl in it of itself could be seen as liberating no? I get the sense, that here’s this woman, with this guy (worthless or not), who has this fantasy/desire, and that just happens to be kissing a girl. Some like whips, chains, and other novelty acts of sexual desire, hers is to kiss another girl. As far as her cheating on her boyfriend, I disagree. Whether she is kissing a girl/another guy (outside of her boyfriend) isn’t really the issue, or is it? How would you know if you like something, if you don’t try it? The difficulty of questioning is understanding your feelings after you’ve done something.

I think part of my being torn can also stem from lots of teens who might be questioning their sexuality, so she offers that kissing a girl is okay, but doesn’t make you gay/lesbian (if you don’t want to be identified as such). If a young woman (and I’m talking 12-16 years old) kisses another girl, in a not-so-popular or not-so-accepting area/circle then executing her fantasy without labels could be a good thing. Here, she would be allowed to express her sexuality or experimentation, freely without the pressures of, “hey you smoked pot, that makes you a drug addict.” I do agree with Jupitersinclar, in that bisexuality has become “popular” a la Tila Teliqua, and it’s atrocious that it’s used for marketing purposes. Now this is just gross. Perry hasn’t done more damage than Tila Tequila has she? Tequila received more fame for her alleged bisexuality, which is just annoying and so fake. I’m offended on this level just as much as I would be had they been using interracial relationships as a marketing move which has been done as well.

However, I kind of have to consider Katy Perry’s background as well. Her parents are ministers, and as mentioned she used to be a Christian Rock singer. She could be writing this song for her parents (“it’s not what good girls do” she says) And it’s not the first time she’s done a track on gay/bisexual identities/questioning. She’s also “boozed up” in the track, which could add something? I could also add that it’s great to see something “positive” about women as Perry goes into detail about how “magical” we are, as opposed to constant reminder by my college students as to how women are “chickenheads,” bitches” and “hoes” or any variation of that kind. Interestingly enough, if she is indeed trying to use “popular” behavior to make a buck, she’s way late. Girls have been kissing girls forever, and whether “popular” or not, really depends on your circle. Obviously she’s straight and curious (as she does mention her curiosity in the song). Maybe the next installation could same sex sex? Would that be as popular? Maybe she’s creeping up slowly towards this climactic point? Last, what if the girl she kissed was also straight or questioning? We don’t know much about her either. Help me ladies, I want to see things your way too – I guess maybe I’m blinded by the fact that I’m happy for small miracles in that there are people of color in Perry’s video.

Looking forward to more great insight.

GirlProfNYC

GirlProfNYC - www.pinkerink.com

thank you for pointing that out

ynnej — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:25:22 -0500

When I had seen the title of the song in iTunes I thought it might be a pop song about someone genuinely exploring, but when I actually heard it and found out what it was really about, I was bothered too. It seems like it encourages young women to believe that kissing a girl is not as important as kissing a boy. The fact is, all people are valuable, and kissing someone is an act of intimacy. It isn't fair to say girls aren't as important as boys when it comes to kissing, it just sends the wrong message.

http://ConscientiousConfusion.blogspot.com

Great Commentary!

beckytcy — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 12:39:19 -0500

Thanks for your commentary and the link to my blog! I think this song illustrates the trend of girls kissing other girls to impress guys. So, when she says, "I hope my boyfriend don't mind it," I think she's being coy. Her boyfriend probably put her up to it. This might cause you to lose all respect for me, but I once kissed a girl in a bar (a friend of mine, actually) because a guy told us he'd buy us shots if we made out. I've had other guys encourage me to kiss girls, too. So, Katy Perry is either doing it to impress men or for the shock value, but it's really not very shocking. She used to be a Christian rock singer! This song is all about capitalizing on what's popular these days -- girl on girl action for the benefit of men.

http://apostrophecatastrophes.blogspot.com

I Hate It

Simply_B — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 12:31:42 -0500

Always have and always will. I've heard the song a total of ONE time, just because I was curious about why it was such a hit. I find it distusting and agree with you 100% as far as your thoughts on it go.

Life According to B

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, oh girls just wanna

debontherocks — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 11:54:09 -0500

I haven't seen the video, but I've heard the song and one of my son's friends has it as one of her ringtones.

This song doesn't offend me or my queer sexuality, just my grown-up musical taste! I think it is just simple pop that hits the themes of "cool people experiment" and "cool people like pleasure." It's not a relationship song or even a strong sexual song.

It's a lot like Joan Jett singing "I Love Rock n' Roll"--where she takes control of the jukebox and pleasure in a light way, or "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," Cyndi Laupers anthem for independence through middle of the night fun.

Girls just wanna rock, have fun and kiss their friends. Big whoop.

But if you put another dime in the jukebox, please don't push Katy Perry, baby. How about some Clash?

Deb

www.debontherocks.com

blog

www.3smartgirlz.com

consulting

A conversation opener

Virginia DeBolt — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 10:47:05 -0500

My two grand kids both love this song and sing along with it enthusiastically. I said nothing about this hoping they didn't really realize what it was all about. Then one day they were engaged in an "oh, yuk, he's gay, how gross" sort of conversation and the song gave me an opening into a meaningful discussion with them.

Virginia DeBolt
BlogHer Technology Contributing Editor
Web Teacher
First 50 Words

A song with something for everyone

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 09:57:35 -0500

To dislike.

I mean, if you're conservative, of course you hate it, but if you're a lesbian or bi or even just a romantic like me you're not loving it either.

nycfreelancer - I guess you're right that the word "adultery" technically refers to cheating on a marriage. That said, I've never been married, but I've definitely been cheated on, and I'm pretty sure she's not singing about a peck.

You know, honestly I think that the heart of the problem is that the song tries to walk every line. Is she openly experimenting? I'd hadn't really thought about the boyfriend line as knowingly tongue in cheek, but I can see it that way for sure. Yet, it still rubs me the same wrong way. I guess because it's speaking to that kissing a woman for show, for a man, instead of as legitimate sexual experimentation that her boyfriend might very well have some feelings about besides WOOHOO!

Jupitersinclaire - "Katy Perry touched the house. big whoop." Quote of the day, LOL

Awesome comments, all. :)

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

I too think the idea is that

lilmommythatcould — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 08:34:14 -0500

I too think the idea is that the boyfriend will like it.

My first reaction to this song was as a mom. Call me old school I don't want my kids kissing everything that moves. What I can gather from the song she isn't kissing this girl like she would kiss her Grandma. Most talk to kids about safe sex, there is also a lot to be said about safe kissing. Mono and other illness can be spread by just kissing someone, it is not an unconsequential sexual experiment.

The song is also a reminder to how old I am, how it annoys me. I am reminded of my mom telling me to "Turn that garbage off!" Shudder at my oldness!

~Susan

http://lilmomthatcould.com/

Katie Perry's Song

AlpacaFarmgirl — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 08:05:00 -0500

My pre-teen loves this song. Ugh! To me, it's an anthem for sexuality with no boundaries. There are no rules. I think the "hope my boyfriend doesn't mind" is a tongue in cheek reference indicating that he WILL like it and be titillated by it. As a culture I feel that we have gone from ostracizing same sex sexual behavior to having the music industry and Hollywood (Madonna, Lindsey Lohan, etc.) glorify this as the "cool" behavior. The new "IT" thing. This does a disservice to the population, from the Christian Right to Gay and Lesbians who would like their lifestyles to be considered seriously, not just the flavor of the month.

Considering Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl"

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 01:03:21 -0500

Well, it's no "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls, I'll tell ya that. Unlike that romantic anthem to masturbation from 1991, "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry celebrates adultery and tries to resist any hint of homosexuality in a song about two girls kissing - because why on earth would a song about kissing a girl actually involve one's sexuality in any real way?

Meanwhile, the darn thing's so catchy you can hardly resist singing it at the top of your lungs.

But you should - hit that channel changer! - because while "I Touch Myself" celebrated sexuality in a healthy, giving way that acknowledged real desires even while shocking those of a more conservative stripe, "I Kissed A Girl" full on squanders the opportunity to do likewise. Watch the videos linked above. In "I Kissed A Girl," no one kisses anyone, and it's even insinuated at the end that it's all a dream. A dream where no one actually kisses. The video is absurdly unsexual. Compare that to the video for "I Touch Myself" which clearly is about what it's about, even while it plays with fantasy and teases away from any clear shot of the actual act.

Now, "I Kissed A Girl" has been out on the airwaves for a while. And for a long time, I thought that what most annoyed me about it, was the lyric, "I kissed a girl just to try it; I hope my boyfriend won't mind it." It's the obvious complaint, but I'll reiterate it here. YOU'RE CHEATING ON HIM; I THINK HE MIGHT JUST MIND.

Of course, perhaps they have an open relationship that encourages such sexual experimentation. Maybe her boyfriend just kissed a guy last night. But that's not the feeling I'm getting from the song and the video. Instead, the song makes it clear that our heroine has absolutely no regard for the woman she's kissing and is basically on an adventure at par with trying a new flavor of ice cream... or maybe flashing her tits.

As she says, the kiss "don't mean I'm in love tonight." Although, it may mean she's in pretty severe denial about her sexual orientation.

And the other day, while failing to resist leaving the stupid tune on in the car, I realized why I, as a perhaps overly romantic heterosexual, find the song so offensive. It's because I don't kiss for show, and I don't kiss someone as a game.

The truth is, I have kissed someone I wasn't interested in exactly once in my life. It was cold, it confused him, and I swore I'd never do it again.

Which isn't to say that a kiss always means that love is around the corner, but for me, it does mean that it might be out in the ether. Maybe I'm trying someone on, but it's not because I had too much to drink, it is some level of a big deal, and it's sure as hell not "innocent."

For me, kisses matter and are something to be cherish. They have meaning. They are a gift, not a game.

So on that note, I leave you with a favorite song of mine, "As Time Goes By." I love the Jimmy Durante version, of course, but this link is to a 1932 version by Binnie Hale which is pretty darn delightful. Enjoy!

Linky Goodness:

Katy Perry Plays Make Believe - from Fatemeh on Feministe, a post that basically speaks to everything that annoys me about this song and the way it deals with sexuality. She says, "But I wanted to find something positive in this song that gets stuck in my head and kind of gives me a boost of testosterone-filled attitude." I say: The Divinyls are the antidote!

I Kissed A Girl - from Laura Woodhouse on The F Word, a slightly different take on just whose gaze this fantasy is playing out for. She says, "And while women kissing women simply to turn men on is certainly problematic, if the social sanctioning of girl-on-girl action enable girls to explore and have shame-free fun, can we maybe just say to hell with the boys and get down to it?"

Hot N Cold About Katy Perry - from Becky on Apostrophe Catastrophe, she has mixed feelings about Katy Perry's music and her punctuation. Also, a commenter points out this 1995 song from Jill Sobule, "I Kissed A Girl" that's really about, you know, kissing a girl.

BlogHer - Considering Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl" - Comments

Thought-provoking article

Man! I Feel Like a Woman.

RIGHT ON SISTA'S!

YES!

I'm *almost* on the "it celebrates experimentation" train...

That's cool.

I Kinda Like It

thank you for pointing that out

Great Commentary!

I Hate It

I wanna be the one to walk in the sun, oh girls just wanna

A conversation opener

A song with something for everyone

I too think the idea is that

Katie Perry's Song

Considering Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl"

I'm almost on the "it celebrates experimentation" train...