BlogHer - Online Communities Can Be a Mom's Best Friend (Or Can They?) - Comments

You CAN have the best of both worlds!

missbeth5281 — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:24:00 -0500

I used to be a part of several different online only mommy boards, before moving to the area Im in now. I am so thankful that someone told me about DFW Area Moms when I moved here. I still belong to a "birth club" type board that I have been with since my oldest child was born, but unfortunately many of us may never meet. Its hard to connect sometimes while knowing that.

DFW Area moms is different though. Its for moms in the greater DFW Area. Some of us may never meet, either, since it covers a highly populated and vast area. However, I have and continue to meet many of them in person every day. I even met one of my best friends there.

If you are looking for something local, I urge you to go online and google moms in your community. There are many boards specifically toward moms in local areas. You can also look at matchingmoms.org and it can link you up with playgroups in your area.

Online communities truly have become invaluable, even more so if they connect with your every day life outside of the computer.

Beth

http://couchconfessional.blogspot.com

http://losintogether.blogspot.com

Love my online communities

Missives From Suburbia — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 20:24:53 -0500

Please visit me (and comment!) at http://www.missivesfromsuburbia.blogspot.com

I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through three cross-country moves in two years without my online friends, nor how I would have survived PPD without a small group of a dozen girls that broke off into our own message board from a much larger one. I was in a new state, I knew no one, and let's face it -- hitting your local playgroup and spending 80% of your time in tears is not going to make a good first impression. I'm fortunate that some of my online girls have become real-life friends, and I've managed to leverage online sites like MeetUp.com into joining local playgroups and mom groups. But it's very clear to me that without my message boards, the past two years would have been much harder than they've been.

Online Communities Enrich My Life

moonloh — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 08:27:12 -0500

I started my blogging life 3 mths ago and from there I learn a lot and also come about online communities. Before that I never know there is online community and doesn't know the benefits of it.
When I started to blog about My little Baby Moon, I met some mom bloggers and share our parenting without step out of my house. And I also joined some communities and from there I gain more.
Now, I come to this website and find you all. It's just great!
By the way, I'm from Singapore.

Moon Loh

http://MoonLoh.com

http://CoolestBabyMoon.com

Never been too good at it

Jeevita — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:52:29 -0500

I've made some online friends over the years in different ways. But somehow I haven't made online mom-friends. It's my fault really. I don't find myself posting in a sustained way to enable friendships. For example I registered at babycenter.ca when I became pregnant but never made it beyond a token few posts...Same at calgarymoms.com. I find that being able to post and connect in a sustained way will demand a lot of my time and energy which I am in short supply of anyway. And it will take away from my existing friendships and connections. I am sure there are plenty of people who can manage both just fine - but for the kind of person I am, I think it would probably isolate more than connect..

jeevita.blogspot.com

An online community addict

Kathy333 — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:57:46 -0500

When my first daughter was born I spent a lot of time on a board that had other people with children born in her same month and year.It was great. I got to see that my daughter was doing the same things ttheir children were doing and that I was feeling the same way many other mothers were feeling! Now that they are a little older I visit several working mother/work at home mom boards that I love. Still feel that connection even though it is online. I have actually met a few moms in person that I met first on the internet. It was a lot of fun! About four of us got together for lunch one day in Pasadena a few years ago. It was great to put a face with the online screen persona!

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers

Mama Marathoner

It is about the now for the most part

Jennifer Satterwhite — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:37:33 -0500

Most of us who use communities are looking for people who understand where we are now. Some are also looking to find advice from those who have been there, done that. And some just want to see how "the other half" live. That is why I love diversity of the communities and communities that can offer so much to so many.

For me? They have brought real friends from my computer to my life and that means so much.

~Jennifer Satterwhite~

Personal blog: Mommy Needs Coffee

Founder group blog: Mommybloggers

My online communities mean everything to me

Jennifer Satterwhite — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:34:59 -0500

I, too, love my online communities. And, like life, some of them you outgrown and move on. But some? Some grow with you and those are the best!

Glad to see another "old timer" with a "back in the day" journal!

~Jennifer Satterwhite~

Personal blog: Mommy Needs Coffee

Founder group blog: Mommybloggers

online communities can roll with you as life changes!

toeyrhea — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 12:20:55 -0500

I agree with you CanCan - online communties for me are all about connecting with folks who are going through what I am going through NOW. I was late into the mommy role and all of my friends were dealing with teen years as we were toddling... they just really couldn't remember the tiny details which were so important to me! Mommy sites saved my sanity more than once.

I have also found a place that has done the same for me as a professional woman. I've been doing the mommy path along with the career path. I do believe I can do both successfully but means I have to be efficient and smart about it. I have found a new site called: www.w2wlink.com

It is all about professional women development and networking. Content is spot-on and the network groups are amazing. The support I have receive from these women gives me the confidence to tackle that next big (or small) thing in business and as a woman trying to balance it all. Great professional stuff and work life balance. If any of you are in my shoes - check it out - I am sure you will find it useful.

I feel...

CanCan — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 10:09:10 -0500

in my life I have lots of friends who don't yet have children. I have "mommy blogger" friends online, so those friendships fill two different needs. I love my online communities!

I had an "internet journal" back in 2000! :)

CanCan

Mom Most Traveled

www.MomMostTraveled.com

But can't many help you find real-life friends?

Jennifer Satterwhite — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 07:17:00 -0500

As far as these communities go, do you feel that some of them are being set up in such a way that you can actually find friends who are local that can become your real-life friends? Having sections that are geared towards women in your area? Sort of like a dating service for moms?

I agree, if you keep your contacts to online only, you could be losing out on real life friends and opportunities. In most cases they can't replace real life friends unless you truly are in a position where that is all you have.But oh how they enhance and enrich my life.

I am blessed in that many online friendships have led to real life friendships that are local and have become my "coffee and lunch dates". I owe it to online communities that brought us together.

(Loved your article, by the way.)

~Jennifer Satterwhite~

Personal blog: Mommy Needs Coffee

Founder group blog: Mommybloggers

Online communities enrich our lives

Vered — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 00:16:52 -0500

But they don't - they can't - replace real life friendships.

I wrote an article a while ago about The Blurry Line Between Online And Real-Life Relationships.

In it, I said that online friendships are just as important as real-life ones. However, I never said that online friendships can REPLACE real-life ones. As long as we're aware of that, online is wonderful. It certainly enriches MY life.

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I blog at MomGrind

I manage my kids' activities at UpToUs

Online Communities Can Be a Mom's Best Friend (Or Can They?)

Jennifer Satterwhite — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 21:29:02 -0500

I have been online in one way or another since 1990. I had a website in 1995 and started blogging shortly after that. (Of course, back in the '90's it was referred to as online journaling.) The gift that online writing gave me was invaluable to me when my children were young. I found my salvation during those sleepless nights and never-ending days through online communities.

When my older boys were young, I found that online communities got me through the roughest of times. You see, I lived in a neighborhood where the moms fell into two categories: They were either moms to much older children or they never ventured beyond their own home or inner circle of already established friendships. I was the first in my group of close friends to have children. I felt lonely and alone. When I discovered there were other women like me online, I felt as if I had be given an invaluable gift. We chatted about everything from colic to sleep issues. We laughed about husbands and sex (or lack thereof), too. I found a new neighborhood. We couldn't meet face to face for coffee, but these women became my friends and virtual neighbors.

Since those early days online communities have come a long way. Back in the day, many of these communities were self contained. In ways they kept women isolated. It was the mom and her computer. Those people were her neighbors. I fell into that and was burned. My online friends were there when the computer was on but when it was turned off, where did they go? Today many new communites are setting themselves up to encourage moms to reach out and find local moms to find that support not only online but in their personal world. I have found some of these amazing communities and have met real, long lasting friends that I meet in real life as well as on the computer screen. Motherhood communities can be a wonderful resources for mothers.

Take for instance the brand new relaunch of one of my favorite mom communities: The Motherhood. The relaunch was kicked off by celebrity mom Alison Sweeney host of The Biggest Loser and Days of Our Lives. The brain child of founders Cooper Munroe and Emily McKhann, this site is amazing for Moms who want to connect using every mode of technology they have at their disposal. No longer just a community of merely written posts and comments, the interaction has been kicked up a notch. You can connect to this site from your computer, your cell phone or email. From posting pictures and videos to leaving a voice message or post from your phone as well as text messages posted to your favorite circles.

Emily and Cooper describe The Motherhood in these words:

Since time began mothers have turned to each other for just about everything.

Now,
with The Motherhood, mothers can talk, listen, be there for each other
and get awesome ideas and help, whenever you have the time and from
wherever you are.

Circles, our version of conversation groups, are the heart of The Motherhood.

Think
circling the wagons, coming full circle, circle of friends, inner
circle, circle of life, winners' circle, sewing circles - you get the
idea.

Whatever you might need from a circle of mothers -
a laugh, a shoulder, advice, information, understanding - you can find
it here.

I had fun creating my own circle and circles that I found of interest to me as well as setting up my own home page that I can add my personal (and random) thoughts. It is truly a multi-media mom centered community that reaches moms in all stages of motherhood and all walks of life.

There are also sites that have a more specific focus geared towards moms. Sites such as Work It, Mom! which is aimed at working mothers. This site bills itself as a site geared towards working moms. I know many working women who have found this site very beneficial to them. From articles on how to manage finances, wardrobe choices for the office place, working from home as well as balancing work and family life. The site is narrow in its focus in that it is geared towards working moms, but many women want to find sites where they feel they can relate to the focus. In this busy world, a narrow focus is beneficial to busy moms.

Then of course we have the mom bloggers and their communities. One of those communities is the Mom Bloggers Club. With so many mom blogging, many of them seek out the familiarity of other women who are mom bloggers.

The Mom Bloggers Club is one of the largest social networks for mom
bloggers. With over 1600 members, the Mom Bloggers Club is a place
where moms who blog converge to talk about the latest trends in
blogging and support each other in their blogging endeavors. Moms
can find everything here from discussions about RSS feeds and
sidebar widgets to parenting advice and giveaways.

This site is a great source for parenting advice, blogging advice and community for mom bloggers. This site focuses on the issues of mom bloggers such as how to avoid blogger burnout and how to drive more traffic to your blog. This community is a fantastic resource for mom bloggers who want to connect, learn and network with other mom bloggers.

However, with all of these communities popping up, I have to ask: Are modern moms using online communities to replace real life communities? Some may say having every possible source of support just a text post away is keeping moms more isoloated than ever before. Without the need to reach out to moms in your neighborhood, why should you try to meet them?

On the other hand the argument can be made that online communities are not isolating these moms but are in fact helping them to meet other moms in their area that have similar interests they might not have found if they had not found them through an online community.

Take the sites listed above. The Motherhood has local circles for local cities where moms can connect in many ways. Work It, Mom! has a section where you can search for members by their location. The Mom Bloggers Club has groups that are listed by geographical locations. Through these sites some moms may be able to find that friend that will be with them through thick and thin by using these online sites.

But again, I ask you: Are we isolating ourselves online or bringing ourselves closer to one another by using an online medium?

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For more online mom centered sites visit the following:

Mom Junction

Cafe Mom

MothersClick

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Contirbuting Editor (Mommy & Family) Jennifer Satterwhite also writes at Mommy Needs Coffee and Parenting.