BlogHer - Families and The Economic Crisis: What's Cut from Your Family Budget? - Comments

I like what you said

Nordette — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:42:08 -0500

I like what you said about hoping we move away from consumerism and keeping up with the Joneses. Perhaps the cosmos has something to teach us through this financial mess.

Great tip you gave to SJ too. Thanks for commenting.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Sounds like you're making the right moves

Nordette — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:39:23 -0500

But I hope you don't have to move your children from the Montessori school you like and that you will find not just a good job but also one you love.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

I applaud your healthy outlook

Nordette — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:36:33 -0500

I also applaud your decision to act:

I'm trying to focus on what I can do rather than worry about what might happen next.

That's a good move. Fear paralyzes, but I believe taking action frees us even when we aren't sure if it's the right step forward. The point is it's a step away from fear.

Thank you for the freecycle.org link. It looks pretty cool. I'm checking it out.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

That hurts

Nordette — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:32:25 -0500

Mia, I know that hurts, realizing that you may have to cut out your child's therapy. I'm not facing anything that serious right now, but I have gone through periods of knowing my son needs help that I could not afford to get.

Your concern makes me think how much we need a better way for us all to access health care in our country.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Role models in hard times

Nordette — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:28:17 -0500

I like what you said about your teen. Actually, it made me laugh. I've got one too and sometimes I don't do what I really want to do just so he will learn that he can do without and not die.

We aren't living to the bare bone yet, but compared to how we used to live, we've cut back a great deal. Much more likely to rent a movie than go to the movies and certainly we don't go after the matinee stops. But the entertainment is much less frequent now.

I live around the corner from a grocery store that sells mostly no-name brand foods. It comes in handy for some items.

For anyone reading who's interested, Catherine Morgan has a good post on how to save money while eating healthy here.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

This is beautiful!

Nordette — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 22:19:45 -0500

I do feel in some ways that this economic trouble has made us closer as
a family. We do a lot of things like going to the park, the library for
story time and out for picnics rather than traveling more. To me it's
better because we spend more time together than in the car. We grew a
garden to save money this year and it was a great family event.

That is a wonderful silver lining, Kathy. :-)

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

What haven't we cut?

JC — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 18:48:01 -0500

We've cut back on pretty much everything. We've been shopping thrift stores for years now and have never bought name brands. The only thing we have to cut is cable/internet and our newspaper.

An upside I see to the financial crisis is maybe we as a society will move away from the consumerism and keeping up with the Joneses that's been so pervasive these past few years. We don't have to drive expensive cars and collect expensive toys to be happy.

To SJ: Do you have a good charter school or good public school in your area? We were able to get our son into the charter school this year - he just started middle school. He's basically getting a private school education free of charge.

Spread the Joy!

http://www.storyrhyme.com/jcsblog

I'm on Mare33's page. I

Super Jive — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:43:25 -0500

I'm on Mare33's page. I don't know what else to cut. I don't have a latte habit, we drive twice a week tops, I thrift/consign, etc. My kids have gone to a reasonably-priced Montessori, which I love, but I suspect I won't be able to reenroll them for next year.

I just gave up on "voting with my dollars" foodwise and now it's back to Safeway/non-organics. If I can't find work soon, I am afraid we won't be able to pay for the kids' schooling. I'm a child of the 80's (read: economically coddled) and this economy is gving me the jibblies.

SJ also writes at I, Asshole.

Overcoming Fear

BarbD — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 08:10:24 -0500

The worst part of this whole mess is the fear it instills in us. It's hard not to succumb when (whatever your news source) the airwaves are filled with panic. Not to mention the world markets.

I couldn't have known this would happen when I accepted an early retirement package from my company two years ago. I left the payroll in January '08 and began a solo career as a communications consultant. I've had the comfort of a salary payout for this year, but will either need to get more contracts next year or go back to work full-time (if I can find a job).

I'm trying to focus on what I can do rather than worry about what might happen next. I've polished up my resume, I'm networking like crazy, and when fear starts creeping in, I remind myself that even in down times, there are opportunities for people that pay attention.

I committed to paying my son's tuition for his last year of college (he's already getting slammed with interest on his two outstanding loans), which my one contract job just pays for, with a bit left over. I've been divorced for 12 years, so it's just me at home, and I'm doing a lot of belt tightening.

One resource I'm happy to spread word of is Freecycle: http://www.freecycle.org/ This is a global network that operates on the principle of connecting people who have stuff with people who need stuff. The only requirement is that it be free.

My goal is to not let the fear of the times rule me. To stay focused on what I can (rather than can't) do. It's a subtle shift in thinking that I've found helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other rather than standing still.

How the Economy Effects Children With Special Needs

MiaHysteria — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 22:58:52 -0500

This hits home. I agree with Mare33...there's nothing left to cut.

I just recently posted about How the Economy Effects Children with Special Needs. When I say there's nothing left to cut, unfortunately, I'm also saying that we have to actually consider cutting something that no parent of a special needs child should have to consider.

We may have to cut our son's therapy.

First, cutting it down and then maybe even out. We just can't afford the continued monthly out of pocket expenses with it. I am going to attempt to add even more therapy in our home routine which will prove difficult with a 22 month old and 9 month old, but we all have to do something. Right?

Someone aught to bail us out!

~Mia.

My blog is General Hysteria~

Nothing left to cut

Mare33 — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 22:04:04 -0500

We too have cut to the bottom where the only sorce of 'entertainment' we have right now is the internet (which holding my breath so it too doesn't get cut off) We are down to only one cell phone, and we don't have a house phone, no cable, one car, we rent an apartment. We don't buy name brand food items, as we have the same thought as you "Food is food" (oh, but don't forget..we have to eat better..and has anyone seen the cost to eat better?) We too go to thift stores, and can pick up some great items when needed. I just don't know what else to do.

We need a cost of living increase and I look at that as our bail out!!! What do you think? I mean we have been steady at the same pay for so many years and everything else around us is going up, but our bring home has been staying the same. I know we are better off then most as well, and we keep the smiles and laughter strong in our house to not worry the teen in our house. I know she knows times are tuff, but how we handle will make a bigger difference for her in her future!

It's Tough Times

Kathy333 — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 21:37:22 -0500

We have definitely felt the crunch in our family. Groceries have gone out of control and we're feeling it in our budget. I always buy on sale AND I use coupons for everything I can, but STILL our budget is high - and we don't eat junk! It's crazy! No more coffees out,I do those at home now and pour them in my travel mug. I miss Starbucks and still from time to time stop, but nowhere near like I used to. We've been doing clothes shopping at thrift stores lately - if we shop. We use hand me downs a lot for our second daughter, and my oldest usually gets clothes from our friends who have older kids.

I've posted a lot about this at Allbusiness. I do feel in some ways that this economic trouble has made us closer as a family. We do a lot of things like going to the park, the library for story time and out for picnics rather than traveling more. To me it's better because we spend more time together than in the car. We grew a garden to save money this year and it was a great family event.

I do know we are better off than many others. We can afford our home and groceries, we just have to scale back. I feel sorry for those who are facing losing a house, a job, their families . . . it is so hard to see this happening.

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers

Mama Marathoner

Families and The Economic Crisis: What's Cut from Your Family Budget?

Nordette — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 18:08:00 -0500

Lately, I've taken out a sheet of paper to list objects, circumstances, and people for which I'm grateful, not necessarily in that order. I have to do that because sometimes my moments as a single mother of two (one teen and one adult who still lives at home), a caregiver to elderly parents who live with me, and as a person who expects more of herself and life, I get edgy and properly pissed. So, when I read a post like "Frustration Nation" at Oh, And Another Thing, I don't judge, I empathize. Here are a few lines of her frustration with this economy.

I'm really just bummed out today. I'm better off than so many people, but right now, i just feel defeated.

I want Claire to grow up in a house with a yard, and I'm giving her a box apartment with no grass and loud, obnoxious neighbors.

I want Claire to be in the best daycare, so I put her there and can't afford it from week to week.

I want to give my mom and dad gifts and money so they can enjoy life for once, yet I bleed them dry because I can't manage my own expenses.

I park between a Lexus SUV and a Mercedes C-class at daycare, and my own humble Honda is still not paid off---a 6-year car loan to afford a Honda. (Kara at Oh, And Another Thing)

She and I are one of many Americans struggling to make ends meet for our families. I suspect many of my readers could join in these laments. We're hearing that we're facing the worst economic crisis since The Great Depression, and we're hoping that is an exaggeration. As single mothers, Kara and I may be hit even harder financially than two-parent households, two-parent households are struggling as well.

I heard an NPR story today, "Credit Crunch Puts Family on a Downward Slide," about the Leschinskys:

· The kitchen table in David And Deborah Leschinsky's house is not a great place to have a conversation these days; the fridge, that has been broken for months, now chortles and whines so loud, sometimes it's hard to hear each other talking. Even worse, the milk and other foods routinely go bad; Deborah says the kids have learned to smell before they sip.

Years ago, the Lechinskys would have replaced the fridge immediately. That was when they were both making good salaries in high tech. They bought a four bedroom house in a great neighborhood of Brookline, Mass., vacationed in Hawaii, and gave to several charities. (Listen at NPR)

The story moves forward and tells how the Leschinkys have slipped from being upper middle class, per David's description, to middle class and are now possibly slipping into something "lower." The family's feeling the sting of a slowdown in business with people holding the purse strings tighter and banks bricking over their vaults, afraid to lend money.

It's part of NPR's Kitchen Sink Series through which they're covering families hit by this economic mess. I hear similar stories at work, where I serve customers buying high-end beauty products. People spill all kinds of stuff to a stranger on the phone. "I want to be removed from your mailings. I have to choose between face cream and food." Or "I'm cutting up my credit cards. My bank's been taken over," and even "We're losing the house. My God! We're losing the house. I can't afford this."

It's not only scary for them, it's scary for me. It's a short walk from customers cutting back to my job being cut, and I need it. I require more than a freelance income source to make ends meet.

But my problems are tiny when I consider Gary Staton's situation. He's the widower and father of 10 who recently fell into the spotlight when he abandoned nine of his children at a Nebraska safe haven. He said he couldn't afford them, and social service experts think America may see more people abandoning offspring due to job loss or home foreclosure.

We hear about families losing homes and we think homeowner, but sometimes it's a renter impacted by foreclosure, and unlike being the homeowner, renters don't see it coming. They just get home one day and find that they have no home. That the homeowner's been collecting the rent or has taken a deposit, but still could not pay the mortgage on the place the renter sleeps.

Take this story at YouTube about a family of eight that moved to California for a job that fell through. They paid a deposit on a rental that went into foreclosure. Today, the family is homeless.

After hearing these kinds of stories, it's hard to whine about not getting your favorite mocha frappuccino because your local Starbuck's gone. Some people are looking up to find their best neighbors are missing, gone in the mortgage meltdown.

Have you seen foreclosure signs in your neighborhood, or noticed that the houses for sale simply aren't moving? My street hasn't seen any foreclosures yet, but I suspect my brother's neighborhood has. Drive through that Louisiana subdivision and you'll see at least one house for sale on any given street.

And now that we live in a global economy, there's enough misery to go around for all. I also hear from Canadian customers at my job who say, "It's not just you Americans, you know. We're all connected. Your problem is affecting us here."

That customer was being honest, according to this story in Canadian newspaper The Windsor Star that warns Canadians to not get too smug about America's crippled economy. If Canadians tend to be smug about this crisis, we can't count the Canadian blogger at Mothering of 5 as living smugly. She's offering help at her blog, advice on the ways struggling families can save money:

There are many ways to save money, groceries are a good area to save money with. Yeah not too many people like the “no name brand” stuff but it’s food. Food is food, no name brands are exponentially less in cost than the name brands. When you are on a tight budget you can’t be picky. Feeding yourself on no name brands is better than not feeding yourself at all or feeding yourself for 2 days as compared to 2 weeks.

For clothes, hit the thrift stores. It’s not that bad and sometimes you find a unique find like a leather jacket that would normally cost 400 dollars for 20 bucks. Hit your local church charity drives and sales. Hit garage sales and if you can’t do that. Go to programs like furniture donation places and clothing donations (ie: Salvation Army, Church Charities for Disadvantaged, Food Banks) and ask for extra help. It is not a shameful thing to need help, we all need a helping hand from time to time. (Balancing Bills & Babies, Mothering of 5)

She's not sharing her knowledge because she's feeling a direct hit from our economy. She's sharing information that reminds us that people have struggled financially and survived since the beginning of time. If she can do it, so can we. She's reminding us of some same principles of survival discussed in the Accidental Housewife's post here at Blogher, "Could You Survive the Great Depression?"

Who dares to think such things and examine options? Mothers who want their children safe, that's who, and I'm sure there are plenty of fathers to echo concern.

If you saw the first presidential debate, you may have heard the question asking the candidates what would they cut from their proposed government budgets given our economic crisis? And I think one of them used in the last debate the example of us having to cut our family budgets to say government should do the same.

NPR had a second story up in its Kitchen Sink Series, one about a family dealing with cash flow troubles, feeling the pinch of high gas prices and pretty angry at Washington.

Are you angry at Washington?
What's hitting your wallet?
Are you afraid of what's ahead?
Has this crisis changed what you do with your family's money?
Do you have tips on how to manage a family budget and relieve stress?

I'll tell you that I'm a little edgy, but nowhere near despair. As my grandmother used to say, "Worry is like a rocking chair. It doesn't take you anywhere."

Nordette is a Contributing Editor to BlogHer.com, and you may read her personal blog post on another site at WSATA.