BlogHer - Our Many Hats - Comments

Thank You

Carrie Blankenship — Fri, 24 Oct 2008 13:16:37 -0500

Thank you for weighing in on this, like many have already said, you really do seem to understand the daily struggles mothers (and fathers) go through trying to balance all the hats they wear in a single day.

You bring me hope that things will get better. Thank you for that.

Carrie at Stop Screaming I'm Driving!

Expanding Benefits

On Da Road — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 21:48:27 -0500

While I think it is important that people (men and woman) can take their child to a doctor and that we do have equal pay and get sick time. I think that it is important that we don't bury small businesses with a lot of regulations that will put them out of business. I also think that maybe the Sick time being purposed should be termed Personal Leave. When it is called sick time some employers require 'proof' it it is an extended period. If you just need to stay home with your child a few days after a surgery Personal Leave time is what you want to have.

It is a shame that it is the 21st century and we still don't have equal pay!

Thanks for the post.

On Da Road http://www.midlifeonwheelsblog.com

Passionate Hat-Wearing Moms

rebellious thinker — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:48:04 -0500

The floodgates of dialogue are open, and the more we have women like Michelle Obama adding their voices to the dialogue, and the more pressure we continue to exert to get some pretty basic, sensible things (for goodness sakes, I can't believe we still don't have equal pay and paid sick days), the better it will be (hopefully) for us hat-wearers. I love my hats, but sometimes I want to hang them all on a hook and relax--and not be penalized for that.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Thank you again

Nordette — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:22:34 -0500

I appreciate your posting here and emphasizing issues that American families face. I missed your appearance on Paula's Party, which showed that you know your way around a kitchen too, but I enjoyed the clips.

Guess I've been doing juggling in my own life like so many other mothers. After this campaign we should give you master juggler certification. :-)

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Thanks

Toppergem — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:11:27 -0500

Loved your post. It is so good to know that you are aware of what all moms go through each day to get things right for their families, their jobs and their communities.

From a woman raised in a foreign country

yumyumhere — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:54:07 -0500

Thank you for your honest post. You speak out what millions of moms and mom-wanna-be (me included) are thinking and struggling with everyday: can we do-it-all? How can i not feel guilty? And where can i find the child-care support?

I was born and raised in a foreign country. when I frist came here, I was shocked to know the struggles American women have with the balance of life. It was the first time that i knew you can feel guity to work a full-time job and you can get depression from balancing work and life. I was even more surprised about the scarity of child-care support and the cost of that in this wealthy country. I can't believe that a friend has to pay $1800 to send her daughter to daycare, which doesn't even include lunch!! I admit that i'm from a complete different world, but i know there are parts of the world where you can drop off the kids at the daycare in the morning and they'll feed them, take care of them and teach them english when they're 3 years old.

I hope your husband's presidency will bring change to the life of millions of aspiring women. don't let their dreams dried up in the struggling of work and life.

"What is the Plan?" Read both websites and Issues section..

dms — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:10:28 -0500

Hello again, I've just read both the Obama and McCain websites - the Issues section. If you ask "what is the plan?" the plans are there. After reading the Obama site, I felt warm and happy about his plan for families but I noticed that some details were missing and that the language on the border control was wishy-washy designed to get certain votes. When I read McClains plan, it had bullet points, was lengthy, and pointed to his current legislative proven actions. Wow, I was duly impressed.

I would like to see more specific and detailed plans from the Obama campaign. I also noted the extensive plans for Families, Taxes, Women, etc. on the McCain. It also looks like..both candidates want to do similar things with some providing more detail than the other. For example, both want to support women entrepreneurs and lending to women. Great! Who is paying for it?

Another example, Obama's site says that he will protect the borders...well...except when you need to use the workers and reunite families. And then it stops. So what it's really saying is.. We'll nod to it but not work on it. McCain's plan (check it out) is super clear with specific rules and actions (bullet points spell out the lengthy plan). That, I believe is because he has the experience. I'm sorry but if you want to win my vote (and you could!), spell out your plans please. As well, if you could tell us where all of the money is going to come from for your incredible plans, that would be great. The taxes I pay are already a burden and prevent me from saving, purchasing, better childcare, etc. etc. Are you going to re-allocate the taxes? I admire the list of potential accomplishments you have made. It is quite strong for someone with limited experience in such matters.

Something you 'read in the news' is an opinion meant to sway your opinion - if it's not a fact that is proven, I'm not listening. We women need to take these issues seriously by reading the facts and demanding answers. We are capable of making this important decision - let's ask the questions and make the best decision!

-dms

Thank You

Melissa Ford — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:00:44 -0500

Is it okay to admit that I cried reading this? Because, for me, this campaign is not about number crunching and charts and predictions and promises. It is about seeing my leaders as human beings who can connect with me emotionally--because I know if they can do that, they can make sound decisions for me and the people around me. And as a mother of twins, this post resonnated with me tremendously--the lengths we go to participate in so many worlds either out of need or want. And even though I know I am electing your husband, as a woman, it makes me feel good to know that you're beside him, explaining what women go through when we wear so many hats. It has been a long time since I've felt a candidate considered me as an emotional human being rather than simply a number in a statistic.

Thank you for writing this.

Venting about infertility since 2006
www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com
and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

"I would also like to see a

shelleyp — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 10:44:38 -0500

"I would also like to see a female president one day because the US is 13th in the world in terms of female leadership and I think we should be able to do better."

Amen.

Mud Slinging

thefrustratedfemale — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 07:58:39 -0500

I did just want to confirm to that my comment that John McCain does not support equal pay for women was not fabricated and something that I read in the Economist. Of course, they could have been making it up as well, but I do trust the integrity of the publication.

I personally hate the fact that so much of the tone and content of our politics has been reduced to diminishing the other candidate rather than really focusing on the issues at hand. I think that everyone is looking for an inspirational and dedicated leader at this point and are not interesting in mud slinging.

Although Barack Obama has done some mud slinging, on the whole I feel that he has risen above a lot of the insults that have been thrown his way and for this I greatly admire him.

BTW - I would also like to see a female president one day because the US is 13th in the world in terms of female leadership and I think we should be able to do better.

Cheers,

Janie

"Trickle down" never works

GreyDay — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:41:44 -0500

Mrs. Obama and her husband have the right approach. The whole republican ideal of the good tickling down has never worked. At no point in history has the tickle down theory worked. Not in finance, health care, nowhere. It has NEVER worked.

laws must be in place and enforced.
programs and resources for the middle class and the poor must also be created
The Obamas grass roots, personal appoach is what is needed most to educate families about their rights.

Big, well written rhetoric (like your post) and "role models" are not going to get it. Hands on work and commitment (the kind the Obamas will and have fought for) is the best solution.

Please tell me. I will listen. What is the McClain plan to help the Middle class? Equal pay for women?

God, bless Michelle Obama and her husband. They get it.

An entertainment & culture blog for women of color
http://GreyDaySoul.blogspot.com

My Celebrity blog - http://RoseRollinsFanBlog.blogspot.com

McCain's lack of support for equal pay is well documented

Mom101 — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 17:01:36 -0500

You don't recall his infamous quote that women don't need equal pay, just "more training and education"?

It's not mudslinging if it's true.

http://thinkprogress.org/2008/04/23/mccain-dismisses-equal-pay-legislati...

http://blog.washingtonpost.com/the-trail/2008/04/24/by_juliet_eilperin_w...

If you'd like to see their positions side by side, there are dozens of sites that do just that. Even Wikipedia although I haven't looked at it too closely yet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comparison_of_United_States_presidential_ca...

Mom-101

Mamas already know what needs to be done come 11/4

Lovebabz — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:35:07 -0500

Those of us holding it down at home, on the JOB and in the community know what the deal is. We know what we do on behalf of children, communities, churches, careers and loveships has value and meaning. Even when the world doesn't support us, when our own Gov't doesn't revere our tenancity we keep it moving. Believing better days are ahead.

Women hold up the world...I ain't bragging. We get shit done against great odds in the face of great hardships. We go about the day thinking how we can make things better, how we can make a way. Our lives are the reality.

Maybe we can't get to the rallies or watch the debates because we got to get the laundry done, or a child needs to study. Maybe we can't contribute to the campaign with money, But I tell you this, we will make a way come November 4th. Women of conscience, women raising daughters, women raising sons, women caring for parents have already made arrangements to have things handled for the time it takes to get to the polls and vote for their lives.

Sister Michelle, continue to speak truth to power!

Love,

Babz

WELL SAID!

nmadore — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:09:23 -0500

I could not agree with you more and my heart goes out to the many parents out there struggling to raise a family in these uncertain times. I was a single mother, my children are grown now, but I was unable to collect child support because of the indifference of the courts at that time (I wasn't on welfare so there was no priority in my case). In this and other ways I have felt this same indifference from those placed in positions of power to govern and serve.

This is one of the reasons why I appreciate your husband so much. I like what he has to say about accountability. It's hopeless if we keep bringing in more people who don't feel that they should have to answer to anyone. I like Obama's honesty, and that he's not just saying what everyone wants to hear. Is it really possible that Americans can't see the clear difference? Do they really believe one candidate could single handedly fix all of this? One of the best things Obama has said, in my opinion (and the thing that made me decide to go out and vote for him in November) is that Americans are going to have to make some changes. I believe he is absolutely right about this. It is going to take a group effort and we need a leader who can make it happen.

www.nmadore.com

proof, please

dms — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:04:13 -0500

Janie, I'd like to see proof that McCain does not support equal pay for women. To throw that type of comment out appears to be mud-slinging. There is no need to pit candidate against candidate esp when they are both in the U.S. senate and will continue to work hard for us. It sounds like something designed to swing a vote one way if someone is a woman and 'on the fence.' I hope that we all can protect the integrity of these posts for the subject at hand. I'm middle of the road meaning my vote will go one way or another - based on the issues and the best work done by the best qualified candidate. I would not approve of Obama mud-slinging either. This is a tough election. I would like to hear more bullet points (and see them on a website posted by both parties side by side) as to where each candidate will work to support causes and work to fix issues at hand - and how. :)

My thoughts on this very important subject are below..

Best,

Our Many Hats

Michelle Obama — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:49:24 -0500

A few days ago, thousands of women from all across the country came to Chicago for a national conference on the major questions and concerns facing women today. For two days, they discussed many important issues facing our nation… from health care to energy to diplomacy and peace… led by women who are experts in those fields. And so many fantastic people gave speeches—including the men we are rooting for to be our next president and vice-president, Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

The conference was terrific—productive, powerful, and filled with a sense of shared purpose. I was just blown away by the energy and the excitement from the crowd. But I was also impressed for a different reason. As I looked around the room, I thought to myself, “How did this sea of women—with everything we have going on in our lives—all manage to be here?”

I thought about all the planning it took for these women to get here—the minor miracles they each had to perform to get away from their daily routines of work and kids and life, and spend a few days in Chicago. All the meetings that had to be rescheduled, the errands that were postponed, the appointments that were reshuffled… just so these women could come together to talk about the issues at stake in all of our lives.

No matter where we live—no matter our race, our socioeconomic background, or our political party—we women wear many hats. We’re daughters and sisters and moms. We’re professionals and students. We run errands and do laundry and shop for groceries. And to get it all done, we have another skill that we rely on. We’re jugglers.

I know that every other mommyblogger out there knows exactly what I’m talking about.

The work-life balance is something I think about a lot. I’ve struggled for so many years to get it right, and I still haven’t figured it out. Too often, when I’m with the kids, I feel like I’m shortchanging work. And when I’m at work… or these days, on the campaign trail… I feel like I’m shortchanging the kids. For many years, I felt a lot of guilt—and I still do, though it’s better now.

But I know how lucky I am. After all, I have help. My mother lives nearby, and is always ready to pitch in to help with carpooling or making dinner, for the nights when I have to be away. And of course, our family is lucky in other ways. My husband and I have good jobs, which provide our family with health insurance. And if we need to take a few days off when our girls get sick, we won’t be fired for it.

But so many women and families across the country don’t have this kind of security.

As we all know, our country is in the midst of a major economic crisis. And we’re all feeling the effects. We’re waking up every morning, worried about what bad news the day will bring… knowing that the security of our finances—our families’ future—may hang in the balance.
And folks feel it every day when they pay for gas and groceries… when they put off going to the doctor because they can’t afford the co-pay… and when they worry about how they’ll afford college for their kids and retirement for themselves.

And folks are feeling it at the workplace. Because right now, thousands of women across the country don’t have family leave at their jobs. And those who do can’t afford to take it because it’s not paid. And 22 million working women don't have a single paid sick day.

That’s just unacceptable. Families shouldn’t be punished because someone gets sick or has an emergency.

The work-life balance is a harsh reality for so many women, who are forced every day to make impossible choices. Do they take their kids to the doctor… and risk getting fired? Do they work weekends so they can afford to send their kids to better childcare… even though it means even less time with their families? Do they take another shift at work, so they can pay for piano lessons for their kids… even though it means they have to stop volunteering for the PTA?

It just shouldn’t be this difficult to raise healthy families.

As I’ve traveled across this country, I’ve met so many women who are struggling every day, just to provide the basics. Women like Gayna, who went to school, worked hard for years, did everything right—but still found herself laid off in a recent round of cutbacks at her job. Deanna, the mother of six, who worked hard to put herself through school for her family—and is now wondering if it was worth it, with all the student loans she owes. And Leigh, who swears that just a few years ago, she and her husband were middle class… but now, as they raise their three kids, they’re barely getting by.

These women are our neighbors and our friends. And they could use a little extra help from their country.

Well, Barack gets it. That’s why, as president, Barack will expand the Family and Medical Leave Act, so that millions of additional Americans will be able to take time off to care for a baby, or an elderly parent—or just to have a few hours to attend a school play or a parent-teacher conference or take a child to the doctor. And Barack will require employers to provide all their workers with at least seven paid sick days a year.

And as I’ve written about before, he will fight to ensure that women are finally paid fairly for our work, by ending pay discrimination once and for all.

The Obama-Biden administration will change Washington, so instead of just talking a good game about family values, we actually have policies that value families.

That’s why I believe so much in my husband’s campaign. And I know that women around the country feel the same way.

It’s time that the work-life balance becomes a little less dire… and a little more doable… for all American families.