BlogHer - Ten Things I Won't Cut from My Family Budget - Comments

Love this - getting behind the money

paulag01 — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 15:24:39 -0500

I love this post because you share about what you refuse to cut in terms of what the money buys you -- the value you receive from your exchange. Some items are just not luxuries (like enjoyment, self-care, health & well being, experiences)...it is just a matter of making conscious and smart decisions. Thanks for a post that goes beyond the same-old, same-old approach to spending and budgets.

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company

http://www.thepaulagcompany.com

No cutting trips to family from budget?

Nordette — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 15:30:25 -0600

I think it's good that you're committed to seeing your family this Christmas, Candelaria. I see your choice in three of the list categories: I will not cut love, I will not cut time set aside for me, and I will not cut fun, but in your case it's no small pleasure. Going home to see loved ones is a great pleasure when families get along, and even when not always a pleasure (for some families it's not) still must be done to build better communication.

Enjoy your holiday, and thank you for commenting.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link, The Interview Obama Regrets, But We Love.

My visit home this Xmas

Candelaria Silva — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 14:17:52 -0600

I haven't been home to visit my Mom and extended family in two years and this year I am not going to miss it.

I will spend Thanksgiving at home (luckily my son is coming) but that means I'll not be with the daughter and grand except through webcam). I was also lucky enough to see my Mom this summer.

But - she's getting (and talking) older, and aunts have had surgery and we just don't know when we'll see each other again, so going home for the holidays has to happen. I've already told everyone that the only gift I want is for us to be together (and for my favorite dishes to be served).

The sacrifice it will take to get home is worth it.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

Careful about Cuts. So right!

Nordette — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 12:09:52 -0600

Thank you, Michelle, for your thoughtful comments. This made me laugh:

... it is best I not shatter his self esteem at 7, I will
wait for high school and dating to do that!

I've got a teen so sounds right to me. LOL. I also enjoyed what you said about your children, cooking, and time together.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link. Oh, the Mystery! BlogHer Identifies Oprah's 'Mr. Man' Early.

Great Post

Southerngirl — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 09:37:12 -0600

I loved your list. There are things we absolutely cannot cut from our budgets. I loved Obama's hatchet and scapel comment. We do our movie nights at home (netflix) complete with popcorn snacks from the dollar store and our one extravagence of a flat screen that we got on craig's list. Internet and a tutor are other things that I have been told would be a good place to cut. Truth is I do not have the patience nor the expertise to deal with my son's ADD and it is best I not shatter his self esteem at 7, I will wait for high school and dating to do that! The library gives us hours of enjoyment and lots of downtime for our energy bill. For us we do new recipe night instead of eating out. We make our favorite restaurant dishes or just something from food network. The kicker is my 5 yearold can now pull out everything needed to make pancakes, quiche and cornbread without blinking an eye. I may not even have to cook in a few years and my future daughters in laws will love getting guys who can really cook not just make toast (burnt) like I got!

The point is we do have to be careful of what we cut. What is a need in one house is a complete waste in another. Budgeting can also be very good. We spend a lot more family time together than used to when we were busily running from place to place being very good consumers.

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

Ten Things I Won't Cut from My Family Budget

Nordette — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 08:36:35 -0600

Name at least three items you will never cut from your family budget. I'm trying to do that, but my guilt reflex makes me ask, "How can I name what not to cut from a family budget when there are people who have less than I do who must slash items such as treatment for a special needs child?" Many Americans no longer have choices about what to cut and what to keep.

Internal guilt trips about money--that's what comes from growing up with a mother who is a child of the great depression and a grandmother who raised five children during that disaster. My conscience disallows pleasure sometimes, accusing, "You profligate! What about the starving people in Africa?"

You've probably heard that the voice. It's the one that hits when you throw food away or procrastinate cleaning out the garage and giving the exercise bike you never use to charity. It keeps track of your wastefulness and tiny extravagances.

I like that word for the wasteful, "profligate." Level it at someone, and while she may not know what it means, she knows you've tossed out a zinger. It's the hard sounds--the "fl," the "guh" and the "t" at the end.

I wonder how many people listening to the final presidential debate last month heard Obama say, "Once we get through this economic crisis, we will not be able to go back to our profligate ways." Our profligate ways? Perhaps they mumbled at the TV, "Wait! What did he just call us?"

He slyly slapped our hands in response to a question he and McCain had been asked before, "If you become president, what will you cut from your proposed budget, Senator?"

We can identify with the candidates' quandary because when you flip that question you're asking "What can you not afford to cut?" Anyone who's painstakingly developed a budget knows each item may seem critical.

In another debate I recall Obama likening cutting the federal government's budget to cutting a family budget. He said something about belt-tightening, hatches vs. scalpels, and other scary stuff. As we go through our money crunch and I hear talk of sharp objects, I see us all running with scissors.

At various moments in my life, I've grabbed my family budget and done more real slashing than a downtown furniture store. You've seen that one perpetually going out of business, shouting, "Everything must GO!" So, I know as do readers who left comments on my post "What's cut from your family budget?" that some of us have nothing left to cut.

Nevertheless, hoping that I never get to a place of hard choices again where I must choose between prescription medicine and food, I've made a list of what we all should try to keep in our lives, recession or not.

10 Things I Will Not Cut From My Family Budget

I will not cut my family's self esteem: In this category I place keeping our dignity and integrity in times of financial crisis. So, I will care for my family members and show I believe in their abilities and intelligence. Sometimes that means being a better housekeeper. Yes, the clutter-free life is next to the good life. I'm not kidding. Read this article.

link

Slate

Books to Read Children During a Financial Crisis

Great Kids Books about Financial Ruin

Mothering of 5

I will not cut fun (or small pleasures): A higher power created movies on demand, NetFlix, and Blockbuster for people like me facing a money crunch. I'm not alone in this belief. The entertainment industry rarely suffers during recessions because people need to escape their worries.

"A family's got an entire entertainment and leisure budget," says Michael Pachter, an analyst who tracks video games at the securities firm Wedbush Morgan. "You're going to see a shift from high-cost forms of entertainment to low." Parents may cancel a Christmas ski trip that would cost about $40 per hour, the logic goes, and instead spring for Nintendo's Wii Fit so the family can do some virtual skiing through the long, cold winter at a cost of $1 per hour. (Time)

My children already use Gamefly, a service similar to NetFlix but for video games.

Get back to the library

you'll pay

5 tips to reduce spending

I will not cut self-discipline: I will practice it and encourage my children to practice it. After all, it takes good self-discipline to follow a budget.

I will not cut communication. I may have to cut the cell phones down to emergency use only to avoid having to cut them out completely, but I will avoid cutting them until I can't. And I may have to give up high-speed Internet if I can't find a way to lower the bill, but cut Internet access completely? No way. (Is dial up still available?) I'd cut cable before Net.

stress

I will not cut preventive health care: Corny, I know, but it's true. "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Going to an inexpensive dental clinic for a cleaning now may save you from the $1200 root canal bill later. I know this is a hard one since we're in a country with so many people who don't have health care coverage and so good health seems like a luxury, but preventive health measures go beyond visiting the doctor. It's exercising regularly and eating healthy meals (Preaching to myself here).

eating healthy in a budget crunch

Fit and Healthy Dad

a series

I will not cut the time I set aside for me, moments that help maintain my sanity: For some people it's bubble baths. For me, it's time alone for introspection, prayer, or meditation, sometimes naps. If I don't set aside this time, I'll soon need a shrink, and I can't afford one.

I will not cut justice, advocacy, volunteering to help others: I believe that when we give, we receive, and so what we have expands. Giving need not be monetary. We can give to our communities our time, our voices, our words. Lisa Stone is asking on BlogHer right now, What will you do to change America? So you can start giving right now, sharing your ideas and commitment, planning how to give more, and giving more.

I will not cut civility: Debt and money troubles can bring out the worst in us, but it doesn't help us to beat others in our frustration.

I will not cut compassion: It's easy to focus only ourselves and withhold empathy and compassion, even withhold sympathy from our families and friends at times, but compassion helps us see that we're in one boat and helps us row toward the shore together. Don't cut that.

I will not cut love: You had to know that was coming. "Love covers a multitude of sins." Sin, btw, is another word for debt. Chew on that for a while.

As I contemplated this post, I researched budgeting again and found the following resources:

Economic Crisis 101 at Oprah
Are You Protected Financially Quiz? I took it.
What do you do to help save money in your family budget? Tips from real moms.
How Do You Stay On Budget? at Real Simple.
Money 101 at CNN.com
Money and Finance at BlogHer

I traveled the soft route on this post because my budget's so tight, I could have written I will not cut food, water, lights, shelter, and been done with it, but I know that many readers are giving this subject deeper thought right now. I welcome your comments on what you will not cut from your budget.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor at BlogHer.com, and her personal blog is WSATA.