BlogHer - Menopause arrived in the mail - Comments

Lesbian Menopause

reinzig — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 19:21:14 -0500

Yo! Over Here!

Robin

Visit my blog at http://hereswhatidontget.blogspot.com

Personally I never

Aloha from Connecticut — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 21:45:08 -0600

Personally I never realized how much of my time went into The Period before I entered perimenopause.  Not having a period really frees up a lot of time.
I'm 49 and ready for it. I have to admit that I really got into the hormonal rhythm of having a period. I respected it and apreciated it. I knew menopause was on the horizon and I was afraid of the unknown. But I started to think about when I was a girl before I had a period. How that felt. Its a feeling of being whole unto yourself.
   I started perimenopause about 9 months ago. The first few months were weird. I went from regular on schedule periods to only once every 4 months immediately. No easing into it. For maybe 3 months I felt a kind of emotional vertigo because that monthly hormonal rhythm was suddenly absent. I've been fortunate to not be suffering from any uncomfortable physical side affects. Maybe the only symptom I have is that my body thermostat seems to have reset itself, I'm a little warmer overall than before. Which is kind of a plus because I was constantly cold before.
Now I've started something refered to as 'phantom periods'. I have most of the symptoms of having an ovulatory cycle but no bleeding phase. I am daily amazed and amused by these new workings of my body.
   I think the thing that's shaped my attitude on menopause the most is when I asked my mother if she missed having a period and without hesitation she answered "Are you kidding?"

Send the fan back...

Denise — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 10:31:44 -0600

OK THAT is brilliant. Maybe I should, and give them some feedback about their "Menopause kits". Fan not appreciated, vibrator is?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

We're different women...

Denise — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 10:30:10 -0600

You've given what I'm guessing are great reasons, reasons most women would totally "get". I on the other hand, feel no angst about tampons or pads (which is another post I'll probably never write), have never worried about birth control (or at least not since I was 15), have never felt my activities were restricted or hindered by menstruation or held hostage by my hormones.

I really am weird though, and I acknowledge that. I do keep hoping there are more women like m out there hiding somewhere. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

What's Great About Menopause?

ByJane — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 01:19:24 -0600

Freedom from sanitary napkin/tampon hell. I love the fact that that's one aisle I just don't have to go down when I market. I love the fact that I don't have to calculate when my period is coming and what activity it might interfere with. I love the fact that I don't have to worry about birth control, and I love the fact that I never feel like a hostage to my hormones.

By Jane

http://byjane.blogspot.com

http://midlifebloggers.com

You have a tough time

Wilma Ham — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:39:43 -0600

Don't use the long cord for something else will you?

Becoming a mother in law and this package all in this short period of time is too much.
I do feel for you.

Do send the fan back and ask for a vibrator, same size of course.

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

Don't get rid of that fan too soon

aftercancer — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 21:34:37 -0600

Don't be too hasty. I woke up after surgery and was instantly in menopause and let me tell you that fan may save someones life. Not yours, but it may cool you enough to keep you from ripping someone else's head off.

As for what's better after menopause? I think those may be the opinions of women whose children are grown or maybe they couldn't use birth control because so far, it's no party.

Kate

I blog at http://www.aftercancernowwhat.wordpress.com

Too funny...

Zandria — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:47:21 -0600

They sent you a "handheld fan on a really long cord that I can hang around my damn neck?" That's CLASSIC. Can you imagine seeing someone walking around with one of those? Please, crazy person, grab a magazine to fan yourself with like a normal person would.

Personal blog: Zandria.us
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

I can't think of any lesbian

no_I_am_zoe — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 15:14:01 -0600

I can't think of any lesbian bloggers who blog about this topic specifially, but I know quite a few who have written a post or two griping about it.

I don't even want to think about menopause. It took me until I was in my 30's to get to a point where I am on a regular cycle, I don't want to go back to the crazy unpredictability of before.

At least its 45

Southerngirl — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:22:53 -0600

Denise at least you got to wait until 45 for peri-menopause. I started at 38, although not with the irregular cycles. Well maybe but my IUD stands in the way of me knowing for sure. I have crazy symptoms like itchy nipples, curl up in a corner cramping, painful nipples, all over soreness then I can't get warm during what should be my cycle. Some months its one or 2 of these symptoms and others its all. Add to that the little fact that I have no concrete example of how the women in my family went through menopause to point to. My mom and sister went from chemo to menopause. My one aunt dosen't remember it really even happening and the others have experiences from 5 years of hot flashes to increased sexual desire. All over the freaking map! ( we refer to ourselves as the UN and it shows even with this) I almost fell off the table when my Gyn expalined to me that I was in peri. I thought WTF. I called many of the women in my family and all of them said oh yeah I remeber that starting around 35..40..41..45 and on, then asking if I had some other symptom that they had. Not good. This month its itchy nipples and with DDDs there is not a discreet way to handle this.

On the other hand I have to agree with the other ladies they should have just sent you a vibrator. Lets face it even if you don't want it I am sure you could make someone else's day! Not so much with the broken hold it a cretain way fan. Hey maybe I could use the vibrator on my nipples? Is this really going to take 10 FREAKING years to go away?

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

that's what I thought, too

Suzanne Reisman — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 10:17:04 -0600

For the split second that I thought it was a vibrator, I was impressed with big pharma. Then when I read it was a fan (and a crappy one at that), I was insulted. Bah!

Suzanne Reisman, Contributing Editor - Feminism & Gender
Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants

Talk to me about the better...

Denise — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:53:52 -0600

I've spent a lot of years listening to women talk about life after Menopause and I don't really "get it". I understand why life is better after all of the peri-menopause symptoms and stuff... but what's so great about life after Menopause that makes the annoying peri-menopause journey worth it?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Sharon & Karen...

Denise — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:52:08 -0600

Y'all are both nuts. Just sayin'.

(Also, the fan doesn't work properly. You have to hold the bottom of the battery cover in or else it doesn't work. Way to frustrate the hot flashy woman! Geez.)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Ha ha!

sassymonkey — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:21:12 -0600

I thought the exact same thing.

Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

Yeah, peri-menopause was no fun.

debra roby — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 09:08:43 -0600

Denise,

Yeah, peri-menopause was no fun, and you are probably in early stage peri. The change in period is just one sign.

Others to look forward to: feeling cold, then the infamous hot flashes, memory problems (usually attributed to the poorer quality sleep because of hot flashes/night sweats). Drier skin and hair, 10-20# that seem to fly onto the body from thin air. The incontinence.

And my favorite: the loss the nouns. I remember the day that Dr. Christiane Northrup told Oprah that forgetting nouns is hormonally based. (and it does get a bit better post-menopause).

Believe me, the irregular cycles are just the beginning. But life on the other side of menopause is, to me, so much better that the journey's worth the price.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Weight for Deb

Menopause arrived in the mail

Denise — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 08:06:31 -0600

I've never been a woman who struggles with aging. At 30, people seemed to expect me to regret my lost youth, and I didn't. At 40, people seemed to expect me to have some kind of crazy crisis, and I didn't. I'm 45 years old and I like being 45 years old. I'm looking forward to 50. Or am I?

Though I've never had that aging angst that I read about in women's magazines and women's blogs, I have to be honest and say that there is one thing about getting older that's starting to really bug me - the loss of menstruation.

I like menstruation. I've always liked it. Now that I'm getting older, my cycle is unpredictable (to put it mildly) and it's beginning to make me really cranky. I didn't mind the short cycles - 21 days, every month was ok by me because I could still rely on the fact that I was going to menstruate sometime around day 21. Those 21 day cycles are gone and I'm all over the calendar now.

For awhile, in October, I was afraid I was never going to menstruate again. And when I did, I wanted to throw a party... until TW informed me that I'd had a 30 day cycle in July, too. That made me a little less interested in celebrating because it reminded me that my cycle she is a mess and that means I really am getting closer to the day when menstruation is a thing of the past.

It makes me nervous but I still like being 45 and I'm still looking forward to 50. Except when I'm not.

Like Monday, October 27.

Mondays are crazy busy for me and this one was extra busy. It was also freezing here in Illinois and I hate freezing. Also, the heat in the front of the house wasn't working (again) and I was grouchy about that. Monday, October 27 I was not in a good mood at ALL.

But the landlord arrived and informed us that the pilot had simply gone out, apparently the cover had fallen off and it's windy down there in the basement or something. Hah. I was feeling more hopeful but still grouchy. Nice Mr Landlord headed to his house to grab some new screws to put the cover to the pilot on properly and tripped over a package sitting on our steps. He carried it in, handed it to me and went about his business.

Yay! A package on our steps! I love unexpected packages in the mail! I asked TW if she'd ordered something - she hadn't. She asked who it was addressed to - it was addressed to me. I open the box, expecting something wonderful... and what do I find?

Menopause.

Menopause arrived in the mail. Unsolicited.

Hmph. WhatEVER.

I do not really need a big pharma who shall remain nameless to remind me that menopause is coming. I've got the crazy cycles doing a good job of that already, thank you very much. I also do not need whoever sold my brand new address and age to big pharma to do so again. It ticks me off that I have no idea how big pharma got my new address and birthdate. It ticks me off that big pharma thinks I'm at all interested in hearing "a thoughtful perspective on menopause and hormone therapy". And it really really ticks me off that big pharma sent me a handheld fan on a really long cord that I can hang around my damn neck. NO THANK YOU. I do not need menopause to arrive, unsolicited, in the mail.

The only good thing about my menopause package was that it sent me off to read women blogging about menopause (though that caused me to start missing Sue Richards who is fighting Parkinsons and no longer blogs at Menopause. I miss Sue.)

Here's a 4am Menopause Rant.

Ummm Family Menopause Education Night? aye yi yi, No TW we are not doing this. Do not even think about it.

(Which reminds me, I'm having a hard time finding LESBIAN menopause blogging - anyone know where I can find that?)

Please excuse me while I go and log into Mon.thly and try to figure out when I'm supposed to menstruate again... soon, I hope.

~~Denise
Flamingo House Happenings