Hardest thing I've ever done

katherine-raisingfive — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 11:23:03 -0600

My, oh my, how things have changed for our oldest, haven't they? I haven't let mine drive in the Big City yet - so glad we are out here in the boonies, where the worst things we have to worry about are roadkill and very large ditches. Of course, two-lane roads (especially on dark nights - I didn't even know where the brights were!) bring on their own set of stressors!

About sending them to driver's ed...even if you send them somewhere to learn the basics, it's the hours of practice - with Mom or Dad - that you can never get around. You're right - ultimately, the decision to let them get behind the wheel (even if they are "old enough" to drive) is the parent's.

Trying to remain calm in the passenger's seat,

Katherine

Oh how I hate it

Liz Wilkey — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:43:35 -0600

I'm in the process of teaching my third - and last - daughter how to drive.

I have control issues myself, and it's really hard not to be in the "driver's seat." I have to confess, once my first two daughters got their licenses, I have never once been brave enought to drive with them again!

Liz

http://amomonspin.com

You may surprise yourself

Jennifer Satterwhite — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 07:21:42 -0600

Somehow, for me, having the control of being the one showing them what to do and teaching them the rules of the road gives me more comfort than handing the control over to a complete stranger and hoping they can get through to my kid. But then again, I do have control issues. ;-)

~Jennifer Satterwhite~

Personal blog: Mommy Needs Coffee

Founder group blog: Mommybloggers

Send them to driving course

caseymadaline — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 23:15:04 -0600

I don't think I will teach my children drving. I prefer send them for course. As a mother I know I must learn to trust their ability in driving. But I couldn't imagine how to stay calm when they start run the car... For me they are still like my little babies.

Casey

Teaching Teens to Drive- What You (and They) Need to Know

Jennifer Satterwhite — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 22:04:04 -0600

Teaching my children to walk was a piece of cake compared to teaching them to drive. When they were small and toddling around, I knew that if they fell, they would land on their cushy rear-ends and be fine. Sometimes a bump to the head would occur, but for the most part, they were safe. Driving? That is an entirely different ball game. A scarier game.

I am currently in the process of teaching my oldest son how to drive. Putting a young teen behind the wheel of a tons of metal and steel is a sobering event for even the strongest of parents. If they don't it right the first time, there could be serious consequences.

The first time I handed my van keys over to my teenager a part of me coiled up so tight I am still waiting for it to relax. Before he ever got behind the wheel he had to go through the rules, safety explanations and mild threats to pay attention to nothing but the road and other vehicles. That and that Mom would be really mad if her van-- not to mention her person-- were damaged in any way.

State Farm has an excellent ar ticle on preparing your teen to drive .

The purpose of this article is not to give you the "Rules of the Road" or statistics about auto accidents.

It does give you some common sense things to consider as you help prepare your teenager for driving. These topics include:

Putting Things in Perspective

Setting a Good Example

Being Involved

Talking Facts

Setting Some Ground Rules

It talks about teaching by example. Showing your teen that speeding is not okay. It is not okay to speed up through a yellow light. And cell phones? What are you teaching your children now about using cell phones when you are driving. If it is okay for you to do these things, they will think it is okay for them. Afterall, you do and are doing fine. No matter how many classes they take, books they read or films they watch, you are their greatest example and teacher.

Take for instance Katherine of Raising Five. She is teaching her teenage daughter how to drive. Though, I am sure the would choose other ways to teach through example, she was given the perfect opportunity at an everyday situation her daughter may find herself in once she is on her own and driving. The "I hit someone but no one saw me so what do I do?" dilemma.

Ruthie was working on her sucker, my mind was on keeping the blowing
papers in order for my next stop, and I climbed up into my truck. I'd
parked my Very Large and Very Tall vehicle up a little too close to the
truck in front of me, so I put it in reverse so I could have enough
room to get around it to pull out.

SMACK!

I don't know what was worse: the sound of metal crunching metal, or the
feeling of being physically whiplashed out of my state of
absentmindedness. Yup, in my haste to get on with becoming my
daughter's official driver's ed instructor, I'd failed to complete
Driving 101: Check mirrors before putting vehicle in reverse.
Not that I would have been able to see that brand-new, teeny little
Cadillac, crouching way down there, from On High where I sit driving my
beast. But still.

At this point, I am shaking, knowing that every person in Small Town has been watching me. What
is she going to do, that city girl? Does she think she can just back
into whoever she wants and get away with it? She'll never be able to
show her face in this town ever again! The police station was
practically across the street. The owner of the Bead Store, whose
storefront faces the scene of my crime, had probably already called.

I stumbled out to survey the damage. Fortunately, having a Very Tall
Vehicle has its advantages. My bumper is up so high, only the empty
hitch holder hit the other car - in the license plate.

Oh, the irony! The shame! The pain! On my way - me, the driving instructor - on the way to take my student to apply for her driving permit!

---

Things were quiet on the way to the licensing office as she studied her
handbook. Then she came to this study question: "What should you do if
you damage an unattended vehicle?"

"Did you leave a note?" she flashed.

"Yep." They just don't tell you how humbling it is to stand there and write the note while a Whole Town watches.

But
it made me feel better, knowing that - even if Allie didn't pass her
exam - hey, at least she would never forget the answer to at least one question!

A great (though humbling) instance of teaching by example.

Sometimes we are not fortunate enough to be the ones who are the first people to allow our young teens to drive. (Which is not always a good thing.) Take for instance when Jeff of Dad-o-matic came home from work early to "accidentally" discover his 13 year old son driving with their housekeeper.

As the car came closer, and I stepped to the curb to greet it, I nearly dropped the stack of mail in my hand.

Mary’s car pulled up alongside me and stopped. Mary was in the
passenger seat and rolled down her window. I leaned into the car to
see my 13 year old son behind the wheel. He turned toward me, with the
biggest, bloated, most excited grin I had ever seen on his cherubic
cheeked face. “Hi Dad! Mary let me drive!” At that moment I was
truly dumbfounded. I looked at Mary with an expression of anger and
confusion that I am sure you can envision. She looked up at me and
meekly said, “I didn’t feel well and he told me he knew how to drive…”
I glowered at her and through gritted teeth exclaimed, “He’s 13!!!!
He’ll tell you he knows how to fly to the moon!!!” I didn’t know what
else to say as my mind was racing with images of Zach driving to the
local Publix supermarket.

Just reading that made my heart skip a beat. There is a legitimate fear of putting your own teen behind the wheel of a car but to have someone else take that responsibility into their own hands without your permission is unthinkable. And at only 13 years old?!

Let's face it: this is a right of passage all teenagers look forward to. From their first set of Hot Wheels to their first bike, they are ready to hit the road and feel the power that driving gives them. But are they ready? That has to be between a parent and their teenager.

Is your 15 year old mature enough to learn or do you think he needs to have some more maturity before taking on such a monumental responsibility. These are questions you must ask yourself and your teen.

More information that was gathered from the State Farm 2008 survey include:

...key findings that indicate the majority of parents aren’t following the safe driving advice they give to their teens:

65 percent of parents talk on cell phones at least sometimes while driving; however 94 percent restrict their teens from doing the same

68 percent of parents are in a hurry at least sometimes when they drive

65 percent of parents drive when they are tired at least sometimes

Think about that the next time you get behind the wheel of your car. What are you teaching your children before they even reach the legal driving age. And for goodness sake, hang up that cell phone or go hands free! Your children are watching!

---

Contributing Editor (Mommy & Family) Jennifer Satterwhite also writes at Mommy Needs Coffee and Parenting as well as the founder of the blog Mommybloggers.

BlogHer - Teaching Teens to Drive- What You (and They) Need to Know - Comments

Hardest thing I've ever done

Oh how I hate it

You may surprise yourself

Send them to driving course

Teaching Teens to Drive- What You (and They) Need to Know