BlogHer - Lessons you learn when your sister wins the lottery - Comments

I've given this one thought

Kitwench — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:50:00 -0600

I've given this one thought from time to time - the kids like to ask what we'd do with the money if we ever won. and I gotta say, my wants are simple.

(Of course, as a homeschool mom, it's also a learning opportunity,lol !)

I remind the kids of the Tax Demons, and wipe 60% of the figure they gave me, then I break the rest into 100k chunks for ease of 'watch the money go bye bye',lol.

For example, they've learned than 10 million or less would not be enough to change our lives significantly - aside from the 'free from worry' you point out.

In that range (10 mill or less) I'd sell my home and move to one much like it in the nearby city I'm tired of driving to daily (just can't afford to do that right now, but it would be NICE), we'd pay off our debts, and buy one more vehicle.

I'd set up a fund to generate $1500 a month to my (disabled and retired) mom's living expenses (this would pretty much cover her current expenses, plus).

We'd set aside for college for three kids (one currently IN college), and then we'd invest the rest.

I'd probably give more to our local Camp Fire USA council, and I'd pay off my mom's and my FIL's medical debt, but as for paying the random debts of family and friends, no way.

Now if I won over 10 million, then I'd probably do more for charity - and set up college funds for my niece and nephew.

Thought-provoking post.

JeanLouise — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 18:31:34 -0600

When I was younger and working in a social service job, I dreamt of providing a vacation fund for social workers and others who serve society and rarely make enough that they can afford to go lie on a beach somewhere to decompress. I'd try to do something like that.

For myself, I'd spring for first-class airline tickets for all future travel.

I'm a Frugal One!

A Frugal Friend — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 21:41:16 -0600

Great post!

I have always been a frugal one, even when we were a two-income professional career family and never worried about money. So, I think if I won the lottery, I would have some fun (no doubt) and travel the world (which I've done here and there already).

But....I think that if I won the lottery, you'd still find me clipping coupons and going to Walgreens for my free stuff each week. You'd still find me blogging about free groceries at Kroger. Yes, I think I'd still do that.

http://afrugalfriend.blogspot.com

Interesting post!

Zandria — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 10:19:13 -0600

I've never read a post written by someone who was in such close proximity to a lottery winner. I don't blame you for not writing about it years ago. Next step: a blog post written by the lottery winner, talking about how she thinks her life has changed since winning so much money? (Think your sister might guest-post for BlogHer?) :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness

The Lottery

SAngel — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:12:36 -0600

Oh I've dreamed about it! I'd buy my kids a house and me one as well, pay off all of our bills so we can all start fresh. Spoil my Grandaughter, invest..the usual.

The truth is it is wonderful to dream, but one never really knows what one will do until it happens.

My kids laugh, because they tell me I would put it in the bank and just look at the bankbook. We'd still be eating hot dogs and beans. Well maybe...

I think your sister is wonderful for not spending it all and trying to live as normal a life as is possible. I hope if I ever (ha ha) win I can be that level headed. But I don't think so, got to spoil that baby. maybe I will buy her the Ravenal Bridge....

ItsAngel

BlogHer: Starting Over

Blogger: http//startingover.blogspot.com

I didn't know either, Denise.

lauriewrites — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 16:28:23 -0600

And you know how I'm all over here hanging on your every word. ;)

My debt would be gone, my parents' debt would be gone and so would my sister's. (I don't have a spouse or kids so there's that...)

I would own a home, a place at the beach and a car outright, and I'd travel whenever and wherever I wanted, which to me is an amazing luxury. Also I'd let myself buy books and music whenever I wanted and not worry about it, and these grey roots would NEVER show. ;) But that's just me...nothing too fancy.

Really, really interesting extended family post btw. ;)

Laurie

LaurieWrites

lottery speculations

anotherjen — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 15:17:00 -0600

One of my favorite things to daydream about (like many people) is what I'd do if I won the lottery. I always thought I'd try my best to keep it secret, since I can't imagine what something like that would do to my relationships with my friends and family... although I'm not sure how realistic it is to keep it completely secret.

I like to think that I'd try to bestow random acts of anonymous financial kindness, seems like that would actually bring more joy than living in a solid gold house, or something ridiculous like that.

http://www.NextRichGirl.com

Wow, exactly!

moonfever0 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 12:19:16 -0600

This post was so fantastic on so many levels. Obviously, your sister has made wise choices and kudos to her! The fact that you actually learned things from it and imparted that knowledge is also great. Your point about not wanting to talk about money meaning that you don't actually like money is so true (read from Rich Dad, Poor Dad as well). I happen to obsess over money and have consequently done well with what I have and have acheived that level of peace of mind (except for losing my job in this economy). My husband doesn't like to talk about it and leaves it up to me.

I don't think about what I would do if I win the lottery because I hardly ever buy lottery tickets. But definitely no house (have reached house zen), definitely quitting my job (more time for blogging), definitely paying for my kids college education. If I ever do win the lottery or know someone who did, I'll point them to this post!

Angela at mommy bytes

aha..

Mata H — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 10:17:11 -0600

Denise, to generate 12K a year (roughly) about 250K a year @ 5% interest would do it forever. One million would set 4 people up for that amount/year forever. So let's say I select 8 people. Only 2 million gone, and they get $ forever. I am assuming a mega win here. LOL

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

I'm proud of her

Denise — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:47:14 -0600

No matter how many times I'm angsty about her, and I am... I am also very proud of her and her husband. Kudos, indeed. :-)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Thank you, thank ALL of you

Denise — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:46:17 -0600

This was by far one of the hardest posts I've ever written, which seemed incredibly silly as I procrastinated over it for two weeks and downright whined my way through writing it last night.

The fact that so many of you enjoyed it really helps me look at it today without wanting to pull it down and pretend it never existed.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Love this post

Watch Her Back — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:30:21 -0600

Watch Her Back (http://watchherback.blogspot.com)

I'm impressed by the way you describe your relationship with your sister! You are very honest in your post and seem to feel about your sister what many of us do - you agree with her sometimes; sometimes you don't. I really enjoyed reading this!

Hold Onto That Money

Tracy Evans — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:50:27 -0600

It sounds like your sister just may hold onto her winnings. Kudos to her for not changing her thifty spending habits despite her deep pockets. A great lesson for us all.

The Moxie Report. Giggles. Gaffes. Girl Talk. From television producer, writer and mom Tracy Evans. http://themoxiereport.blogspot.com

Ah ok, like my sister...

Denise — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:04:30 -0600

She went to the Super Bowl that first year... (then informed us that they had better seats at home, lol.)

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

I Wouldn't Have To Own The Luxury Box

Megan Smith — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 18:54:58 -0600

Oh, I wouldn't have to own the luxury boxes. Just rent them out for one year. I think I could get a good deal off say Donald Trump. ;-)

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

Lessons you learn when your sister wins the lottery

Denise — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 21:52:44 -0600

The two biggest problems I've faced because my sister won tens of millions of dollars in the lottery are 1) Not being able to blog about it so that she could retain some sort of privacy 2) Trying to blog about it several years later.

OK the not blogging about it wasn't TOO hard. I do have the ability to keep my fingers off of the keys. I wanted to blog it but that desire faded pretty quickly because of the reactions of the few people I told about it. A couple of days after I found out, I told my co-workers before the start of a phone conference and the response was both surprising and troubling to me and went something like this:

Me: My sister won XX million dollars in the lottery last week.
Coworker: OMG, you're kidding? OMG, when are you quitting your job and who can we hire to replace you?
Me: Umm no I'm not kidding and I said my SISTER won the lottery, not me. I won't be quitting my job.
Coworker: Well why not? She's going to share it with you, that's what lottery winners do!
Me: Ummm, it is? Well, I don't know what she's going to do but it's her money and no I'm not quitting my job.
Coworker: That's crazy.
Me: [nervous laughter]

The discussions I had with friends and coworkers tended to go along in that vein for a good long while and they made me very uncomfortable. They also caused me to stop and think about my pat response to the "What would you do if you won the lottery?" question that has inundated online communities since the dawn of online communities. My answer has always been...

I'd buy a house only a tiny bit bigger than the house I'm living in now. I'd set up trusts for my kids. I'd give the rest away to family, friends and causes I cared about. And then, I'd simply live the way I've been living. No trips around the world, no quitting my job, no new expensive cars, no diamonds or new wardrobes.

That's a pretty typical answer from my experience with this question and online communities. There are some variations, but generally it's the take care of your immediate needs, splurge on something awesome, and then share it with those you care about and just keep on living your life. But would that be what my sister and my brother in law decided to do with their winnings? I'll be honest and say that TW and I and my big kids spent a lot of time in those early days wondering what they would do with it. It's a much more interesting topic when it's a family member who was photographed holding that huge lottery check.

It's also a much more sensitive topic. I can go from criticizing my sister for her spending to praising her for her thriftyness - all in the same conversation. It was that way in the first six months after the money was in their hands and it is that way today - several years later.

I've learned a lot about myself and how I feel about money by being the big sister of a lottery winner. My answer to the "What would you do if you won the lottery?" question has changed quite a bit because I've watched my sister make choices that I both agree completely with and disagree completely with. I've seen her change and I've seen how she has stayed the same. I don't know for sure, 100%, nobody truly knows until it happens to them but here's my new answer to that question...

I'd pay off my bills. I'd buy a house a little bit bigger than I'm living in now. I'd set my kids up with a SMALL amount of money to help them in emergencies. I'd share a percentage with my immediate family members and a few close friends (taking the IRS and its' "gift rules" into consideration.) I'd donate a percentage of my wealth every year to causes I care about. And I would invest the rest very, very wisely. I would NOT give it all away to friends and family and causes I care about. And, as much as I love my job - I'd probably have to leave it because people treat you differently when you are a multi-millionare.

I've learned these lessons from my sister.

At first my sister tried to continue with her job but it was uncomfortable for her and she thought it was uncomfortable for her co-workers. Relationships with people are different once you win the lottery. All relationships. All people.

I've thought a lot about the kid factor. My sister didn't have children when she won. She has two sons now. They're growing up wealthy, very very wealthy and are going to have completely different lives from the lives lived by my kids (even the very privileged younger three.) While I wouldn't deprive my kids of some of the perks of having a ton of money, I wouldn't hand it over to them either. There are benefits to living a normal, struggle to make ends meet, work your way up the job ladder type of life. I think it would be important for me to make sure they still had those kinds of experiences.

Then comes that giving it away bit. I really thought I would give it all away but now that my sister has not given it all away, I realize just how smart that is. She was always thrifty - even more so than I am (and I'm pretty darn thrifty) - and she's remained thrifty. That's a smart way to live. Many lottery winners run through their money quickly. Little Sis and BIL haven't done that and there aren't any indications that they're going to. If I hadn't watched my sister, I just might be one of those people who went from riches to rags. I wouldn't have thought it out... because I really hate money.

I don't want to talk about money which means I would have wanted to just get rid of it so I didn't have to deal with it every darn day. Or worry about whether I had enough to live off of. Better to just get rid of it and keep working. My baby sister is much too smart for that kind of thinking and I've learned my lesson from that. If I ever win, I'm not giving it all away. Sorry, folks. ;-)

That is really the most valuable lesson I could ever have learned from my sister - that as much as I really do hate to think about money or talk about money, I need to do it. I need to watch my money, and not just by being thrifty. I need to put it to work for me now, so I won't have to work nearly as hard later. I need to teach my kids these kinds of lessons now, while they're young rather than when they are older than dirt, like me. My sister winning the lottery was a blessing in a way that I did not expect it to be.

Now one more thing, before I shut this post down - the last lesson I've learned from watching my sister and her millions. Money may not buy happiness but it buys a peace of mind and that peace of mind does bring a kind of happiness that you do not have without it.

Yes, she still has some of the same types of problems we all have. Yes, she has some new problems that I will never have because let's face it, I'm not going to win the darn lottery. But, she does not have the types of worries that the rest of us poor non-millionares have - the ones about whether you're going to lose your job in this economy. The ones about whether you can ever pay off the medical bills from the last hospitalization. The ones about your student loans. The ones about the unexpected emergencies that you just can't cover. The ones about how the hell you're going to dig your stupid zillion foot driveway out from under 13" of snow to take your MIL to the ER when she can't breathe. Nope, my sister does not have those kinds of worries and better yet, she has the money to help ease some of those worries in the lives of her family and her friends.

No, she has not gifted me with millions of dollars. Yes, she has given some non-taxable monetary gifts to family members and those gifts have helped ease the worries over medical bills and student loans. And yes, she's given at least one family member a snow thrower and that snow thrower has made one family happier than I can ever begin to tell you.

Maria blogged about winning the lottery and whether it might "buy" happiness. I say it definitely does, particularly when happiness comes in the shape of a $200 snow thrower that you could not afford to purchase yourself.

What would you do if you won XX million dollars in the lottery? And how is your money working for you, right now?

~~Denise
Flamingo House Happenings