BlogHer - What Does A Woman's Hair Length Say About Her Sexuality? - Comments

Thanks, Tara

Bill Cammack — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:30:32 -0600

Thanks, Tara. I appreciate your comment. :)

I don't post here or anywhere else (inlcuding my own blog) to receive agreement, or friendship or credit or about a million other things, but the thing that means the most to me is that people open their minds to the possibilities in life. It might not be a PROBABILITY or relevant in their own lives, but in most cases, I just want people to be able to see things from a different perspective and then think about it and come to their own conclusions... including "Bill doesn't know WTF he's talking about!" :D

I get a lot of insight here that otherwise would have been missing from my database of possibilities. My goal is to give back and hopefully present a different view, even if it's a disliked view, because not everyone thinks the same way and not everyone acts the same way and even the people that act the same way do so based on different motivations, so instead of adding more "Buy your girlfriend flowers and agree with everything she says" garbage to the pile, I'd rather post something that might spark thought & debate, leading to people either changing their minds or solidifying their position that they're right about what's going on in their lives.

Cheers! :D

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

Dear Bill

tarawhitneysims — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:22:03 -0600

Even if I don't agree with your opinions. I truly respect your thoughts. You get me thinking.

hair lenght

cottondreams — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 12:13:38 -0600

Wow! I find this artilce really interesting. I had never imagined you could draw this conclusions from how a woman wears his hair. In my experience I find that men in my group of friends and work environment prefer long hair in women. This is unanimous. I think culture has a great deal to do with this. I live in Buenos Aires, Argentina and women are considered much femenine if they wear they hair past their shoulder blades. We do have some really sexy models who wear it really short. But they are really much the exception.

Ciel at http://advice-woman-2-woman.blogspot.com/

Yay!

mashadutoit — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 09:04:14 -0600

Fabulous:

"(the little hippy who lives at the back of my head and bangs on the pipes when displeased),"

Do we all have a little hippy, I wonder? Possibly some of us have a little goth, or a little lolita? Or maybe some of us dont even have pipes?

'I don't see too many women

ladybird52 — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 15:12:27 -0600

'I don't see too many women trying to feign masculinity by cutting her hair short in order to be taken seriously.'

What a bold comment! Back in the day when it was relatively unusual for women to go into big business, or even to undertake a job external to one's home and hearth, it became necessary for the costume and hairstyle of those ladies brave enough to attempt breech of the gender divide, to change. A version of the man's suit was devised to give the woman suitable garb for the office, and much of the rather drab resulting fashions seemed geared at blending into a male environment. When necessity called, short hair became a more widespread fashion during the 1920s as more and more women went to work filling the economic chasm caused by the death of a generation. Interestingly, at this point it was the women with the shorter hair who were labelled 'loose'.

Curiously, although women have become far more commonplace within the workforce, it is still generally frowned upon within an office environment, to come to work improperly attired, and unsuitably coiffed. In the comically apt name of 'suitability', we still don the suits, we still cut our hair, or style it so it cannot possibly distract us, (or anyone else), from our noble purpose: climbing the corporate ladder.

In one particularly silly example, (which I happened to fall over on youtube the other day), the film 'Working Girl' contains a scene with the lines: 'you want to be taken seriously, you need serious hair', immediately preceding a rather drastic home scissoring session in front of the bathroom mirror before an important business function.

Speaking as someone with naturally long, curly, flyaway hair (which seems to grow abnormally fast), I am under some pressure when looking for work, to ensure it is not a distraction to my employer. The length and general nature of my undyed hair leaves me in danger of being labelled as vain, daydreaming, and flirtatious. If left in its natural state, neither it, nor I am likely to be viewed as an asset to any company looking to fill a serious or responsible position. It therefore falls to me to demonstrate having tamed it, camouflaged it, minimized it, flattened it, and/or shortened it. As I am a sensible, serious and responsible person in need of a job, I comply with this unvoiced wish. However there is a small part of me, (the little hippy who lives at the back of my head and bangs on the pipes when displeased), that resents this quite ridiculous social pressure and effective curtailing of my personal liberty. In the same way my breasts, symbol of my overt femininity, can expose me to ridicule or worse, if too prominently displayed, I am equally at risk from my hair.

Oh, how strange! I grew up

avflox — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:16:54 -0600

Oh, how strange! I grew up with a mother and grandmother who have always had short hair, as well as a father who was constantly trying to get my sister and I to "do the Wynona," so it has always been more of a style option than any form of statement.

The closest I got was chin-length when I was around 19: it looked fabulous and was very easy to maintain, which was a plus considering I was living on a tropical island. But I never thought of it as indicating anything other than style. Some women like it long, some like it short, some go back and forth, some try crazy cuts, sometimes it coincides with what their partners want and sometimes it doesn't and in the end, it all grows back and you get to get creative again.

Ah, assumptions. My hair is now past my shoulder blades, I wear it parted to the side and blown out so it cascades in a mass of generic, un-highlighted brown. I wonder what that says about me?

I once heard a man say that

Lady Burg — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:15:32 -0600

I once heard a man say that a woman is not a woman if she doesn't have long hair. Maybe a good portion of society believes that as well. I just got my hair cut last week and I felt liberated in a way. Now, it's not cut boy short and is still a good length; but this to me (and others that know me) was a huge haircut because I have always had very very long hair. I feel sexy with the cut. Yet, I felt sexy with the long hair. It think it all depends on a woman's confidence when it comes to if she can work a short or long do. I don't know if shorter hair alone makes a woman more itimidating. It seems like society is always finding something that is, in it's view, "out of the norm" for a woman as itimidating. So a woman who is business savvy, is highly educated, has her own house, isn't married, doesn't have any kids, oh, and let's not forget the short hair is intimidating. When oh when will our society evolve?

Only if you pair it with shapeless clothes?

MealMixer — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 10:29:40 -0600

I used to have very very (past my tush) long hair, and people made assumptions about me, too (hippie, simple). I think, as a woman, the shorter your hair gets the more intimidating you get to some people who need clear delineations to spare them the pain of having to actually think.

Seriously?

RavenAsh — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 09:17:58 -0600

My first reactions was "What!?"

I first got my hair cut super short when I was in grade seven. I grew out my hair again for prom, mostly because my mom and other people hated my hair short. I also grew it out because my then boyfriend said he liked long hair.

Then I graduated and went into nursing school. My hair was very long, curly, and I absoutely HATED it. It was frizzy, unmanagable without a crapload of product in it, and took forvever to get ready in the morning. I was forever wearing it in a ponytail or bun to work.

Finally, two years ago I had had enough. After months of disasterous cuts by salon professionals who kept giving me the "triangle" effect, I had given up. But when I walked into this one place just to get a trim, I asked the girl about curly hair and short cuts. She asked what I meant, and I told her all about my bad luck so far. She then went on to explain to me how she specialzed in curly hair because she herself had curly hair, but had cut it short and straightened it now. So after she told me all about how she could cut it, I looked at her and told her to go for it, I was ready. By then my hair was pretty long, about halfway down my shoulders. She asked me twice if I was sure and I told her "It's about time". So half and hour later, I looked up into the mirror.....and it was pure relief. A nice short pixie type cut that was cute and I loved it. I have never gone back to having my hair long, and never will. For me, cutting my long hair was like cutting off that subservient part of me that always wanted to please other people with my looks, and now I was standing up and being true to myself. I love my short hair, and so does my current boyfriend and my mom has admitted that I look better with it short. My short hair in no way has any connections to my sexuality.

Oh, and just for the record, it is in no way "subconsciously indicating that she does not want sex?" My boyfriend can attest to that!

Great post, Suzanne! I love

Super Jive — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 00:42:05 -0600

Great post, Suzanne! I love my long hair but people assume I'm straight. I need a "dyke" shirt, I reckon.

Blogher Pop Culture Editor | I, Asshole

I laughed out loud

Denise — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:50:02 -0600

When I saw the title of this post, I thought back to our conversation at Walker's last month... about the hair stylist who scolded TW for wanting her hair cut short because... "what will your husband say?"

What's annoying about that is that it isn't the first time it has happened to her.

Hair stylists should KNOW better, shouldn't they?

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

stereotypes...ridiculous

missmelissa41076 — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:04:09 -0600

I'm so sick of the stereotypes. Who cares if a woman wears her hair long? If someone doesn't like it, and they are not said woman... then what exactly are they going to do about it? It is just talk, and ridiculous at that.

Hair length has nothing to do with sexual orientation. If a woman or a man, even, wants to wear their hair long or short... so be it! More power to you, IMO. :)

www.babyheaton.blogspot.com

OMG you have a great point

Kian Yamaguchi — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 20:02:18 -0600

The best thing about short hair is that it doesn't get in the way during sex! No rolling over on it, no pulling (unless you're into that sort of thing), no catching, no having to put it up in a pony tail for...other activities. Yes, short hair totally rocks for that alone!

http://mamafasha.blogspot.com my fabulous must-read blog ;)

http://MKSkinCare.myarbonne.com now with a contest through Jan. 31! Go!

Gimme a head with hair......

purple goddess — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:53:03 -0600

Like vered above me, up until less than a week ago I had seriously SERIOUSLY long hair. Like down-to-my-knees long.. so long that I managed to donate 17 inches of it to a company that makes wigs for breast cancer patients who could otherwise not afford one.

For most of my adult life, I wore it up in a bun. Do you have any idea how much freakin' work long hair is?? How much it costs?? And I am not talking dye jobs and trendy streaks/foils, I am talking basic shampoo and conditioner.

When your hair is that long it gets into every freakin' thing. If I wear it out to a restaurant it had a tendancy to find its way into other people food. Hell, if I bent my head to slurp up some noodles, I looked like Cousin It and Nana Mouskouri's love child.

Hair like that isn't even sexy in bed, despite what men would like to think. That damn stuff gets everywhere. It gets caught around, in, on and under all manner of body parts. Imagine being in the throes of passion, rolling around the bed, only to have 1/2 your scalp ripped numb, as your hair gets wound around the bed post. It's a serious passion killer

Don't laugh, it's happened to hubs and I on more than one occasion. Sex is only possible with your hair in "librarian mode"

I grew my hair long out of sheer laziness. It had nothing to do with my self-percieved sexuality, and everything to do with never having time to get it cut. So, for 20+ years I wore it in a bun for 95% of the time

LAst week I had it cut to shoulder length, and I am loving it! I look 10 years younger, I feel sexier, can now afford to have trendy things done with it.

I'll NEVER go back to long hair!!

You aren't what you wear...

ArtsyCrafter — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 19:23:54 -0600

Stereotypes, sigh. I know plenty of long-haird lesbians! I also know women that look like what people "think" a lesbian looks like that are straight, married, have kids, etc. Basically the stereotype that lesbians (or gay men for that matter) are so different needs to end! Most lesbians and gay men are not like the stereotypes that we've been made to believe represent the gay/lesbian community.

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What Does A Woman's Hair Length Say About Her Sexuality?

Suzanne Reisman — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:30:16 -0600

When I cut my hair short almost three years ago, I didn't mean to send any messages; I just wanted to look nice. Since then, however, I seem to be radiating some signal that I am a lesbian. If I am confusing people, I do not mean to, so apologies for any mix ups. However, I certainly hope that I am projecting that I am a dried up prune. An anonymous letter writer posed the following question to therapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly in The Guardian: Is it true that a woman with a short hairstyle is subconsciously indicating that she does not want sex?

Dr. Connolly's wise answer ("Cutting one's hair does not necessarily point to an avoidance of sex, although deliberately reducing one's attractiveness in a spouse's eyes may well signal some desire to push them away") set off a flurry of media attention to the "issue." In The Daily Mail, five out of six people interviewed confirmed that long hair is sexy and feminine, although some admitted that short hair is liberating because it shows that the woman doesn't only style herself to please men. (The one dissenter is a male celebrity hair stylist who said that men who don't like short hair on women are "unimaginative beast[s].") My friend Mara sent me a link to an interview on BBC with two fashion historians regarding this topic:

Hair has great social significance for human beings, and acts as an important indicator. It can denote power and status. While long hair has suggested sex, short hair has often been seen as a mark of revolution. So, what do our hairstyles really say about us? Jane is joined by the fashion historian, Caroline Cox, and Professor Stella Bruzzi.

My cousin and I could barely sit still as the three women had a completely serious discussion about the length of Tom Cruise's hair among other celebrity hair analysis. However, we were glad that the "experts" debunked Dr. Connolly's ridiculous theory.

Casey Fiano points out that:

The [Mail] article phrases it as if short hair means that not only is the woman completely shunning her sexuality, but it means that men will likewise shun her because it’s such a turn-off. I’m just having a hard time buying that. But hey, apparently cutting your long hair off means you’re making a statement, ladies.

Miss Banshee at Mama Pop tells the "experts" who warn women that short hair will destroy their chances for romance with to buzz off (pun all mine!):

But what if the opposite is true? What if cutting off your hair is a sign of strength, of power, of control and celebration of one's sexuality and self-image? Could THAT be why a short cut could be shunned? Because it is a symbol of a woman bucking the system, of deciding what SHE thinks is beautiful? Or can it just be...a really cute and easy haircut? Does it have to mean anything at ALL?

I think a woman confident enough to cut off all her hair is probably pretty sexually confident as well, and could very well be a TIGER in the bedroom, without all that hair getting tangled all over the place. And by the way, DOCTOR, what woman DOES want to be seen as a sex OBJECT? No woman I know.

Amen! I am compelled to interject with my personal hair story again and share that in mid-November, a random preppy finance guy (just the type I like!) approached me at a bar with the following line, "I'm sure that you hear this all the time, but did anyone ever tell you that you look exactly like Jane Wiedland from the Go Gos? I told him that no one had ever said this to me before, and that I assumed it was a compliment, but I didn't know what she looked like. He then pulled up a picture of her on his iPhone thingy and dear lord, I confess that if I were not happily married and wanted to remain that way, I would have gone home with him right away and thanked him for his generous compliment because that woman is smoking hot. Her short hair in no way, shape or form signals that she is abstaining from sex of any kind.

Speaking of sexuality, in a livejournal community forum, tigerlilli pointed out another insulting flaw in the short-hair-no-sex argument:

How heterosexist. It's all about how women grow their hair long to attract men, and nothing about lesbians at all. Oh wait, to most of the world lesbians don't have sex now do they /sarcasm.

And that hits the nail right on the head. Most of the arguments against short hair on women were presented by evolutionary psychologists for whom lesbians don't exist because they can't in a world in which surviving is all about how to reproduce, and that seems to only involve heterosexuals looking for the best (i.e. - most stereotypical) traits in the opposite sex. So when I get my hair trimmed next month, I will hold my head extra high, knowing that I am doing my part to subvert the dominant culture, one hair at a time.

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants. Her first book, Off the Beaten (Subway) Track, is about unusual things to see and do in NYC.