BlogHer - Bloggers Help Get The Word Out: Babywise Isn't - Comments

Babywise - don't knock it until you've tried it.

higherstillstables — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 12:25:14 -0500

My 10 month old daughter follows babywise, and it's the best thing for her and us. She is right on target with all of the physical, mental and emotional milestones that she is targeted for within her age group - and more advanced at some.

I'm afraid that most people don't read the book before they become critical of it. They make assumptions based on what they hear from other critics! Shame on you.

There is not a rigid schedule, this may happen to some people because they are naturally more rigid, this is not what the book bases it's principles on, they have missed the point. There is a FLEXIBLE schedule, which helps the entire family (and babysitters) know what the expect next. How many of you can say that you have babysitters fighting over who 'gets to' babysit your child?

For the critics out there who have not had children, or are of the many parents who wonder why they have demanding children and they don't know where they went wrong - or it's just the childs 'personality to be obnoxious' I assure you; the people you pass in the mall, on the street and everywhere you go with demanding children without a shred of respect for time or for you, are thinking to themselves - 'if only they'd read babywise'. Does that seem like a blanket statement, judging everyone who doesn't follow babywise? Is that not the common thread to this blog, that everyone who uses babywise is a nutter?

I've had friends who have had babies at 5 months and 8 months who haven't yet slept through the night. Within 3 days of receiving babywise and following the simple and flexible scheudle, they are sleeping through the night for the first time. This is not only for the child's benefit, but imagine how much happier the household is when Mum is well rested!

I will go to my grave singing the praises of this fabulous book, without which the world of parenthood would be full of much more irritation and helplessness. I commend Gary Ezzo and Robert Bucknam with the common sense and talent that they have willingly passed on to the millions of parents who have benefitted from thier wisdom.

For those of you considering the book, I encourage you to read it and give it a try. The worst that can happen is that you all get a great nights sleep! Better yet, try to go without following the principles for a while and see how that works out for you, then try babywise! You'll be in for such a treat!

PS I'm a Christian because I'm not perfect, not because I think I am. This book is not for Christians, it's for parents, whatever they believe. Please don't make the mistake.

Yep, it's as insane as they tell you

Jael Sprinkle — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 15:30:21 -0600

And it took a sick old man to tell me that I was a better parent before I picked up that book and almost drove myself insane. I've managed to cope without boundaries by writing dilatory comments such as this and blogging my own parenting struggles. Take heed, Gary, Ezzo, when you stand, lest you fall.

http://merrymunchkins.blogspot.com/2006/11/take-heed-when-ye-stand-lest-...

Spread the gospel--there are alternatives to Ezzo

Mama Milton — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 15:18:52 -0500

It's still in print? I keep hoping it will go away. When my sister was pregnant for the first time, this is the book she wanted. A mutual friend said 'it had worked for her' (read: she had a mellow baby that naturally fell into a schedule) so my poor sister shed many a needless tear trying to adhere to the "book". Finally, her husband ditched the thing.

In addition to the concerns I have for the welfare of the children under this philosophy, I worry about new Moms, struggling with baby blues, trying to be 'good Christians' and being set up to fail.

Lisa Milton

Mama Milton

Much to My Sjogren

Not Just the Ezzos, Debi and Michael Perl

lizditz — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 17:46:01 -0500

Here are two links --

Description of Pearls' parenting approach (and links to other site) Biblical Parenting in Salon

Biblical Parenting vs. Secular Parenting According to Biblical Parents
Liz Ditz
I Speak of Dreams
lizditz@gmail.com

Ezzo and Babywise

lizditz — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 17:38:57 -0500

Bunch of links (from 2004, including TulipGirl's comment) here:

Pandering to Children. With hindsite, I was a bit intemperate in that post. As I recall, I had been stuck at an event with some parents who were smug attachment-parenters, and their kids were little, boundaryless, and totally in charge.

I did not enjoy the event. I did not enjoy my camera being snatched and used by a 5 year old. I did not enjoy getting it back all smeary.

So. I won't revise it, but I should have put in context.

Liz Ditz
I Speak of Dreams
lizditz@gmail.com

Amen. Shortly after the

Lachen — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 02:36:03 -0500

Amen.

Shortly after the birth of our first child, BabyWise actually flew out of the second story window and landed with a nice thud on the backyard patio below. Where it stayed. I have a hard time seeing God's grace in any of the teachings of this book. Certainly it works for a certain segment of parents and children ~ but not for our family, who came quickly to embrace slinging and the family bed. For as long as our children needed it. :)

Good post.
Lachen
Link Text

I was amazed at this Ezzo and his influence

Mary Tsao — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 16:54:27 -0500

Before I read Tulip Girl's posts and did some research, I had barely heard of this guy. I was amazed at how influential he is and at how passionate these bloggers are about getting the word out. I guess it's because they see so many families and babies influenced negatively by his misguided teachings.

For me, this was a case of the Blogosphere really being an educating force.

Mary
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy & Family
Mom Writes

Amen

Kety Esquivel — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 03:07:09 -0500

Re-

"Nothing infuriates me more than when people parade behind the "Christian" label to promote a purposefully fuzzy ideology."

This Has Always Been One Of Those Topics

ninjapoodles — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 23:38:23 -0500

That makes me INSANE. I can't see straight when I read what these people want to do to INFANTS. A 2-week-old being forced to "learn the law of natural consequences?" What the--??

These people are not just wrong, they're DANGEROUS. May the biggest, brightest lights continue to shine on these cockroaches.

They are also on my growing list of Those Who I Sincerely Wish Would Stop Identifying Themselves As "Christian."

Belinda

GRRR!

Dana Loesch — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 16:08:12 -0500

Thanks for posting this Mary!
Nothing infuriates me more than when people parade behind the "Christian" label to promote a purposefully fuzzy ideology. I've EMPHATICALLY not liked the Ezzos for some time. They practice exclusiveness which goes against what is taught in the Bible and they will quote and twist whatever Scripture they can in order to support their own agenda. According to them, if you don't parent their way, you're not a Christian.

Dana
www.mamalogues.com
In the Post-Dispatch
Pop Mama
Since Eve on ClubMom

YES!

Erin Kotecki Vest — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:33:03 -0500

I'm so glad this is being blogged about. I really find Babywise EVIL. Pure EVIL.

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

Bloggers Help Get The Word Out: Babywise Isn't

Mary Tsao — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 15:24:05 -0500

Last week was Ezzo Week 2006 over at Tulip Girl. She's "raising awareness about the concerns with the philosophy of parenting promoted by Gary Ezzo." Tulip Girl's annual Ezzo Week coincides with Gary Ezzo's Growing Families International National Leadership & Alumni Conference, which does not welcome the media.

No media allowed? Red flag, anybody?

Tulip Girl and her friends are raising many red flags about Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo and the parenting advice found in their books Babywise and Childwise. Unfortunately, Ezzo and his ministry are endorsed by many Church leaders so his influence is far-reaching.

As Zatera Ul explains, "There are plenty of things wrong with his books, from bad theology to bad breastfeeding advice, and woe to the infants who do not take well to the 'routines' (which generally turn into rigid schedules) that Ezzo dictates as Godâ€™s way."

Homebody of Finding My Way Home writes:

"The Ezzo method is quite popular in the military community, so we watched quite a few families using it. And everything we saw convinced us that BabyWise was not wise, not in the least."

Gid makes this suggestion to Christian parents:

"Make sure you know who Ezzo is so that when he and his books are brought up in conversations at church you will be able to speak intelligently about topics such as Failure to Thrive, Loss of Milk Production, Lies about Family beds (remember they use to call SIDs "Crib Death" for a reason), Cry it out, and Gary Ezzo's 2 Excommunications."

Some of her links are to articles on Ezzo.info, a "collection of resources" and links to articles written about Ezzo's writings and teachings. The site explains the general problem with Ezzo's teachings:

"Babywise and it's church-based counterpart, Preparation for Parenting, promote a one-size-fits-all set of parent-centered rules for sleep, feedings, and wake time. Contrary to their claims, these precepts are potentially unhealthy for the child, and leave parents focused on the clock, the rules, and the book, rather than on what their individual baby needs in order to grow and develop physically and emotionally."

Goldie of Curious Goldie's Suburban Adventures explains that Ezzo's techniques actually do make a lot of sense. When they are applied to a dog. She makes a compelling argument why this is true, although she also writes: "I confess, though, that I still have not fully embraced Ezzoâ€™s techniques. I donâ€™t spank my dog. Embarrassing but true."

About scheduling feedings, Greasy Joan of Keel the Pot writes:

"While I have more in common than not with the Ezzos, I find it's a leap of the post hoc ergo propter hoc variety to claim that failure to follow a feeding schedule in infancy therefore condemns the poor baby to all manner of brathood. Albeit, for many moms (busy ones, babies with low weight gain, overactive milk ejection) a flexible feeding routine can be beneficial. I've used them myself and am not opposed to them."

And Tulip Girl wants to make it clear that she is critical of Ezzo and not of the parents who believe in his techniques:

I'm outspokenly critical of Gary Ezzo and his parenting ideas. I want it to be plain that's what I am--critical of a set of ideas or "philosophy" as Ezzo calls itâ€”not critical of parents who love their children and are seeking to raise them with truth and love.

There's so much more about Ezzo and links to other blog posts from Tulip Girls posts. I urge you to check them out here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

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BlogHer Contributing Editor Mary Tsao also blogs at Mom Writes.

Image credit: Bugwood.

Hat tip to The Baby Blawg for the link to Tulip Girl.