BlogHer - Shield your eyes! It's (gasp) a public display of breastfeeding - Comments

Everyone has their own ways

gypsy_mother — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 12:08:18 -0500

Everyone has their own ways and their own feelings. I love that I can breastfeed in public, but I choose not to do this. Due to a painful latch that no lactation specialist has been able to help with, I pump primarily >I don't want to do this in public, so often resort to restrooms. I wish more places (the zoo, playlands, etc.) had a nursing mother's room for those who appreciate the ability to breastfeed in public, but choose to be in a private place instead. And if there are such places, I want the option to nurse in public still to exist.

if I could have...

Mistress Of The Dorkness — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 21:35:20 -0500

I don't see what the big deal is with breastfeeding. Noone should be thinking twice about it imho.

I do have to say though that whenever breastfeeding comes up as an issue that I have feelings about it. I couldn't breastfeed my son because of having an autoimmune disorder. and people would judge me very harshly when I mixed forumla for my son. offer to buy me a breast pump. give me brochures about the benefits.

I'd do anything for my son, and I *know* the benefits. They just can't ask me *why* wasn't, and decide to pass judgement first.

sorry... o/t rant.

Melanie Perry
***not all who wander are lost***
http://mistressofthedorkness.blogspot.com

BRAVO!

Elizabeth@Table for Five — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 12:15:47 -0500

Bravo, Mary!! Way to take a topic and run with it. You provided excellent links and resources for follow-up questions, and the comments you're getting are top-notch. I especially liked Lisa's, asking WHY men take their shirts off at the beach and no one gapes at THEIR boobs?

If I was nursing Kaitlyn (and as you know, I really tried), I would proudly post a photo of myself nursing. Instead, I will support every woman like Vanessa who is proud to show her baby EATING. I'm so proud to be a Mother today.

Boobs

peetred — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 16:04:06 -0500

I have joined Wet Feet, and all the other wonderful breastfeeding women who have participated, in showing ourselves breastfeeding our children!
Check out my boob here!, er I mean me and my baby :)

Vanessa Pruitt
Crabby Chic
PruittsWeb

Liz, it was horrible. The

Dana J. Tuszke — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 21:24:15 -0500

Liz, it was horrible. The woman said, "If that child is old enough to chew a hamburger, then she's too old to be nursing. Have you no shame?"

I fricken let her have it. I won't get into that because I wasn't so nice. We were minding our own business eating lunch with our kids. Sheesh!

Dana From The Dana Files

Bloggin' Mommas...Changing the World One Blog At A Time!

Thanks, Deidre!

Mary Tsao — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 20:19:28 -0500

Glad you like the terminology.

Even though I am not currently breastfeeding, I care a lot about the women that come after me. Hell, I've got guts and a devil-may-care attitude, but I want women who don't to be just as comfortable as I was. And frankly, I wasn't always comfortable, but that never stopped me.

Lucky for them, nobody ever said anything negative to me when I was nursing. Although I did get a few "looks," and yes, most of the time it was from other women.

Mary
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy & Family
Mom Writes

Shaking my head...

crazedparent — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 17:25:51 -0500

did you know this story about the mag cover was the most emailed and most popular via yahoo last thursday? the whole thing just baffles me.

charlene prince birkeland
freelance journalist
visit Link Textcrazedparent!

So wait Dana...

Mom101 — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 14:54:20 -0500

A woman who eats at MCDONALDS has an issue with feeding a child breast milk?

Someone help me with the punchline, please.

Hmmm...

Mom101 — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 14:51:52 -0500

Don't know what there is to be said that hasn't been said so well by so many.

I'd love to find a blog that comes out against it just to hear (and mock) the other point of view. I haven't seen one. I mean, I hear that there are anonymous naysayers living under some rock with probably no contact with the real world except for a phone with a direct line to the pollsters--but I haven't actually seen one of them.

http://mom-101.blogspot.com

http://coolmompicks.com
We find it, you flaunt it.

Don't like? Then QUIT staring.

Mamalogues — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 13:27:41 -0500

I'm addressing this in my next column with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch which will run this coming Monday (8/14). I breastfed both of my children for a combined 28 months, exclusively until they began solids. Personally, I think it's absolutely ridiculous. The only people that have a problem with public breastfeeding are those who can't stop gaping at women's chests.
I'm sure to get verbally slapped by some of stodgy-types.

Dana
www.mamalogues.com
Mamalogues in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch
Pop Mama
Since Eve on ClubMom

Nothing makes me more mad...

Dana J. Tuszke — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:55:40 -0500

I blogged about this also after I read the article just a day before BlogHer '06. I didn't go to the conference, but I thought to myself, "What if the women who were offended by the breast on the cover were bloggers? What if they were attending the BlogHer conference and saw mothers nursing in semi-public or public places."

Would it be that big of a deal then? It seems like a bunch of smoke blown in the wrong direction. We don't get into a huff when a dog nurses puppies do we?

Nursing is about feeding a baby, feeding a child. Don't get me started on the age of the child. That gets me madder than a hornet.

My friend is nursing her child (who is nearly 2 years old) at McDonald's. She was in a quiet corner booth and a woman walked past and proceded to scold her for it. I was irate. My friend didn't even show her naked breast. It was the fact that women thought the child was "too old" to nurse. Ugh.

We don't make parents feed their toddlers their hamburger in the bathroom at McDonald's. Why should a nursing mother be forced to do the same?

Dana From The Dana Files

Bloggin' Mommas...Changing the World One Blog At A Time!

Feeding your child is not a crime!

Penguintrax — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 10:45:34 -0500

Mothering Magazine experienced a similar problem a while back with a cover that showed much the same image. What a shame that American society is so hypocrytical when it comes to breast imagery.

My eyes, they roll ...

Deirdre — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 10:09:46 -0500

By the way, I really like the "PDB - public displays of breastfeeding" over the "NIP - nursing in public" that I usually see. Thank you for that terminology-meme.

I had blogged it (and have continued to press the subject in the ensuing week+). One person commented that I should get over myself (amongst other things).

HA! That's

Atena — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 08:08:57 -0500

HA! That's brilliant!

Motherhood grows the mind... Radical parenting can save our species.

F'emI only touched on the

casalita — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 07:18:58 -0500

F'em

I only touched on the subject here. I was surprised that someone left a comment that did not make me very happy. Generally my readers are pro-BF or at least know not to say anything to me if they aren't :) This was a new reader. I just can't deal w/the ignorance over BF in general especially public BF. I can be a bit spiteful so next time I get the stink eye when nursing I'm gonna unlatch Cricket and start nursing my husband.

(came here via CityMama)

Shield your eyes! It's (gasp) a public display of breastfeeding

Mary Tsao — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 14:46:29 -0500

In her post-BlogHer conference recap, Susie Bright wrote: "The hand that blogs the cradle informs the world -- this, the blog-her generation, is the crux of women's liberation that I thought had passed its due date."

Elizabeth of Table for Five used this quote to illustrate the power of the blogger backlash against the recent controversy surrounding this month's Babytalk magazine cover. The cover--shown here--features a breast and a baby eating.

The horror!

The worst part? Many of the people who do not support the public display of breastfeeding shown on the cover are women, are mothers. According to CNN:

"...In a poll of more than 4,000 readers, a quarter of responses to the cover were negative, calling the photo -- a baby and part of a woman's breast, in profile -- inappropriate."

Mommy off the Record wants somebody to enlighten her about why the Babytalk magazine cover is getting so much attention, yet covers of magazines like Maxim feature scantily-covered breasts regularly and rarely are viewed as controversial.

And she also wants to know why other mothers find breastfeeding in public innapropriate. In the comments section of her post, she writes:

"I really don't get that there are some MOTHERS that find public breastfeeding offensive. That one really floors me. WTF? (I am not speaking of anyone who commented here. In fact, I have a feeling the poll results would have come out differently had they polled us mommybloggers!)"

The polled moms had different reasons for wanting to keep breastfeeding discreet. Many expressed concern that they didn't want their husbands or sons to see a bare breast in public. We love Queen of Spain, right? Her response to this reasoning is only one example why:

"If your 13-year-old wants to jerk off to a BabyTalk magazine cover, maybe you need to hide the National Geographic as well. And to those of you who find it â€œGrossâ€? and â€œshocking" -- maybe you need to get out of your â€œdonâ€™t make eye contact in elevators, shop at major mega stores, avoid the newsâ€? world a little more. Because Iâ€™ll be out there. Feeding my kids. With my tit.

And if you donâ€™t like it, you can suck it."

What about other mommybloggers? How do they feel about public displays of breastfeeding?

Kateri of Wet Feet is collecting links to blog posts that show the world that many mommybloggers definitely are in support of public displays of blatant breastfeeding and aren't afraid to display the pictures to prove it.

Liliam of Mam(e) in Translation explains That's What Breasts Are For!!

Jaelithe of The State of Discontent informs us that Offending the Unwashed Masses is One of (her) Favorite Pastimes.

Jenijen of Not Calm (dot com) explains very simply: More breasts!

Feminist Moms reminds us that Breastfeeding in public is a Mother's Right.

Chris Jordan of Notes from the Trenches warns us: Don't Leave This Open On Your Coffee Table and writes:

It amazed me then, and amazes me still, that my body could grow a kid. Nine months of gestating and then however many months of solely nursing. It makes me wish I could be kinder to myself and let the body hatred go, but well, that will probably never happen. I do hope, however, that my daughter will see photographs like these and appreciate her body, not buy into the images that we are all force fed by the media. And so that is why I share my photograph.

For my daughter. For all the other daughters. So I never again have to hear another woman say nursing breasts are disgusting, shameful, and something to be hidden."

Lots more links to fabulous posts like these can be found on Kateri's post Boobie Talk.

And it's not just the mommybloggers who think the outrage is ridiculous (oh, and frightening, too.) Suebob of Red Stapler reminds us Why We Love Mr. Stapler:

Suebob: It's ok for other magazine covers to show women with their skirts up to their heez and their plastic boobs covered with 2-inch wide fabric strips..."

Mr. S: "Yeah. And this...It is someone EATING. It is a baby. It is the most natural human thing on earth. If people can't get that, if they can't get past that it is a breast, God help us all. I mean seriously. If they can't get past that, we have no hope. No hope."

Daisy of Compost Happens takes an objective look at the numbers thrown out in the AFP article and reminds those offended:

"There are a few details to remember before hauling off and bashing mothers or magazine publishers.

* This magazine is not on newsstands; no one will accidentally be "forced" to see the cover. It is distributed free through OB/GYN offices.
* Breastfeeding itself is not sexual, and neither is the photo.
* The goal of this photo was to illustrate an article, not to excite or titillate (sorry, couldn't resist).

So don't get your undies in a bundle or your bottle in a battle. Moms have enough on their shoulders (and other parts). Let the babies eat. And let the magazines show it happening."

In the article on CNN, Melinda Johnson, a registered dietitian and spokesperson for ADA notes: "With the government really getting behind breast-feeding, it's been a jumping-off point for mothers to be politically active. Mommies are organizing. It's a new trend to be a mommy activist."

Mommybloggers are rallying behind this issue and proving that we are--as Susie Bright writes--the hands blogging the cradle.

And rocking the world.
---

BlogHer Contributing Editor Mary Tsao also blogs at Mom Writes.

Image credit: CNN