BlogHer - Don't Marry Career Men - Comments

Hard to believe we still

she_22 — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 13:31:46 -0500

Hard to believe we still have to have these conversations... !!

Yeah, it's both funny and scary.

Amen, Sister!

Redsy — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 10:38:39 -0500

Well done rounding up the response to that asinine article. Hard to believe we still have to have these conversations... !!

I'm a career woman through and through, also a feminist, a friend to sassy women everywhere, and pretty good partner to my career husband. In the end, everyone needs meaningful work and if it's paid than so much the better.

www.crankmama.com

Good Mama, Bad Attitude

Well, that explains it

hannamyluv — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 20:17:35 -0500

You know, there is a plethra of studies coming out showing that fewer and fewer women and men are opting to get married. It is articles like the Forbes one that are fuling this.

Most career women are not really offended by this attitude from men simply because we know that they are becoming a non-factor because of this attitude.

For generations, men (in general, not all) have thought they had us where they wanted us. Now they think by propaganda like this, they will cow us back. Instead, we just eliminate the problem, them.

Women are increasingly figuring out that we don't need them to marry us. We can have children, buy houses and have careers and lead pretty normal lives without them. Men, on the other-hand, can't really have offspring unless we are involved. There isn't too much of a womb bank avaliable, hmm?

Let the male morons keep writing articles like that. They may find that we no longer care nor need them.

BTW, I am a happily married career woman whose husband is thrilled he found someone who loves him for him and not for the paycheck he "should" bring home. And I don't want to see men eliminated from the picture. But if they keep insisting they don't need us, we have no choice but to oblige.

societal problem

Nancy Watzman — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 15:51:27 -0500

www.muckrakingmom.com
Because MUCK doesn't scare MOMs

The Forbes piece strikes a sensitive nerve because face it, we as a society don't have any of this figured out. For all the talk about the primacy of families, our social policies do not support them in any configuration.

For two-career families, there's the problem of balancing work with the demands of kids.

For families in which one parent works, it's often nearly impossible to make ends meet. And society loses when one partner isn't contributing her or his professional talents.

For single parents, well, combine most of the challenges faced by both one and two.

As Joan Blades commented in her interview with Muckraking Mom here, "Everybody thinks theyâ€™re on their own on this, but when this many people are having this problem itâ€™s a cultural issue."

Don't Marry Career Men

Melinda Casino — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 11:48:20 -0500

Violet at Reclusive Leftist responds to a Forbes magazine article advising men not to marry career women. In her post, she uncovers how the article harbors an unspoken admiration for Victorian ideals of women and marriage.

She uses 19th century literature and art in her analysis of 21st century magazine copy, mixing high and low culture.

Here she parallels the article's distaste for educated women with an example from Victorian literature:

"Countless books and articles reinforced the notion that this was what women were for, and that the great danger of education for women was that it would render them fundamentally unfit for life—or rather, for wifehood, which was woman's destiny. Charlotte Yonge's novel The Daisy Chain hammered the point home with the tale of an intelligent, bookish girl who devotes herself to her studies, neglecting the all-important housework that is her proper focus as a female. Her concerned family nips this in the bud. Afraid that she will become 'odd, eccentric and blue,' they command her to give up Latin and Greek. Her own brother tells her, 'I assure you, Ethel, it is really time for you to stop, or you would get into a regular learned lady, and be good for nothing.' Ethel sees the light, gives up her aspirations, and devotes herself to sewing."

Visit her blog to read "Does it never end?"

Meanwhile, at Reproductive Rights Blog, Cara Tenenbaum gives a summary of what the Forbes article should have said:

"The author's advice is great for men who want to continue to be selfish and immature. But what the author really should have written is 'Marriage is hard. You are going to have to compromise. And your wife is not your mother. Not that you should take your mother for granted, but no one will ever care for you the way your mother did. Don't expect that. Be aware of how wonderful your wife is, because she will be out in the real world meeting men who are interesting and attractive and treat her with respect, so you'd better do the same. If you don't help with the housework she will get frustrated and you won't have sex and you will have an affair, or she will be stressed and it will be bad for your relationship. I'm writing this in simple sentences, because if you need this advice you are obviously simple.'"

The post closes by linking to commentary from other feminist bloggers, so pop over to read "Working Women & Divorce: My Two Cents" at Reproductive Rights Blog.

If you still haven't had enough, look at what Jennifer Saylor has done: switched the sex in the article. This leads to the title:

"Don't Marry Career Men"

This strategy takes the Forbes article's mentality and turns it on its head. Clever—and very effective.

Hat-tip: Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon.

Painting: Past and Present (1858), Augustus Egg. Image from Reclusive Leftist

BlogHer Contributing Editor Melinda Casino also writes at Sour Duck.

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