BlogHer - sex - Comments

Writing sex scenes is all

Gwendolyn Hudson — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:16:53 -0600

Writing sex scenes is all that easy--they seem to fall in the etheral "floating away on a cloud of esctasy" to odd descriptions for genetalia (see first entry) or the mechanical a goes into b which sometimes have all the clarity of Ikea directions for putting together your new bookcase.

I think--as a writer--that sex and what and who and how a character deals with sex is a major part of who he or she is.

so is what they eat. But only occasionally is it necessary to desrible each forkful.

But I love these awards--it's always niece to know in that schadenfreude way that even the best have their moments and that its human to be confused and embarressed and over the top sex/sexuality

Gwendolyn Hudson Lauterbach http://barefootontheground.blogspot.com/

SEX

millytant — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:25:11 -0600

Actions speak louder than words . . . .

Bad Sex Written

Gwendolyn Hudson — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:09:51 -0600

I think I violated something in my comment. Will rewrite

Gwendolyn Hudson Lauterbach http://barefootontheground.blogspot.com/

AOL chat rooms

girlishstuff — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:54:55 -0600

hahaha I totally agree! :)

I blog at Girlish Stuff

hehehe

Bill Cammack — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:43:59 -0600

Yes Ma'am, haha The AOL chat rooms DEFINITELY served their purpose! ;)

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

I think there is a place for

avflox — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:33:49 -0600

I think there is a place for everything. I am just now working on a pretty emotionally intense sex scene and I have to say it's still very much the same thing--word choice and an understanding of how the characters would behave toward each other.

Speaking of AOL chatrooms--that's what I first did when I got on the web at 13! Cybering hard in the chatrooms and boards! I always tell myself I could have grown up to be a real geek had I not gotten so much play in the chat rooms. Then again, it seems to have served some purpose, hasn't it?

AV Flox is the editor of Sex and the 405--what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Great Tips!

Bill Cammack — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:39:05 -0600

Great tips, AV, haha..

I learned to "write sex" in AOL chat rooms, so my style's built for personal physical effect and not flowery novel-writing. :) Having said that, I also "write intimacy" and "write togetherness" and "write inspired introspection" which is more along the lines of what you wrote about in this article.

I actually find inspiration to be way more sensual to write about than physicality. I find it way more unique that a gal moves me mentally or emotionally than when a gal turns me on. For me, it tends to catalyze a much richer experience for contemplating and expressing to others.

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

Food, Sex, Dogs, Kids

Bill Cammack — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 10:27:05 -0600

Dunno if food is the new sex, haha but I *DO* know that dogs are the new kids.

Therefore, you don't have to bother having sex with your girlfriend so long as you buy her a dog that she can play with while you focus on what's important in life, such as working on your startup.

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

The Hunger

Osterizer — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 10:49:40 -0600

We talk about it all the time, there is a huge overlap in carnal hunger and stomach hunger. One time we had an amazing meal and all we wanted to do was continue to eat the pastry chef and other chef. I think of it more like foodies are sensuous people and one adds to the other rather than serves as a replacement. Maybe I am just hopeful that I will continue to have sex. I find it be the best way to finish off any meal, but I must admit, sometimes I just settle for dessert.

Here was an example of when our carnal hunger was stirred: http://uncouthgourmands.com/2009/04/14/how-bizarre-at-the-baazar/

You've gotta stop doing that!

Laracolvin — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 09:32:36 -0600

...reading my mind, that is! Just last night I made dinner for my daughter and roommates, and as I chopped and diced and tasted and simmered, I was mulling the explicit sensuality in the act, even though there was no holy chance in hell of the kind of culmination I was dreaming about. I think it's the convergence of the senses that enhances the similarities and makes food such a natural substitution for seduction. And - at least there is fire and steam somewhere. :)

Lara

Notions of Identity

It doesn't surprise me

clueless newlywed — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:45:39 -0600

Ya know...It doesn't surprise me that single people have less sex...Think about it...They have to really work to have sex. My single girl friends have to get dolled up, and hit a bar that has other attractive, single men. (Half the battle right there!) And even if they do find a bar with attractive, single men, they then have to make eye contact and flirt and all that. All married ladies have to do is turn to their partner and say, "Are you in the mood?"

The Clueless Newlywed, Nikki Flores

Great article

themaria — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:45:39 -0600

Hard hitting as always. You bring up an interesting issue that is worth belaboring. The desire to oversex it on Halloween, followed by frowning upon overt displays of sexuality at other times. I love sexy costumes, but I also try to look sexy and fashionable (not trashy!) at all other times during the year.

I was born and raised in Europe, and for the most part, European societies have a healthier relationship with sexuality. There's simply more freedom and education, and as a result (at least from what I've seen), girls aren't in a rush to lose their virginity at 12 years old like they are here (maybe it's just what I've seen at public schools, my view could be skewed). Because sex is much less taboo in other places, it's not seen as out of the ordinary as it is here (shameful, forbidden and exciting at the same time).

Having our teens get the sexual cues from TV, web and magazines, without proper context is dangerous, and results in too much of self esteem wrapped up in "do boys think I'm sexy".

I'm an online community manager, check me out at http://themaria.me. I blog at http://socialsilk.com and http://fashionablymarketing.me

About the Kids

HappyHer — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 09:46:13 -0600

Hi! I think there are plenty of costume options available beyond sexy ones, although the sexy ones are the trend. They key is to have some imagination. Lastly, it's up to the parents to supervise how their children dress up. For example, my daughter had a short and low cut 60's style mini dress and gogo boots. It was paired with a shirt underneath and leggings. It looked absolutely adorable and was also very modest.

On a side note, the part of history that was left out was that Pagans did dress their kids up. It was the children's jobs to run around as ghosties and ghoulies from house to house to help scare the real ghosties and ghoulies away. The children were thought to be best for this job and they were rewarded for their service by each house offering them treats of some sort. That is how trick or treat got it's start and it's one of the earliest traditions found in regard to Hallow's Eve.

Tracy Morrow Intimacy Specialist http://www.HappyHer.com/Blog

Phooey! Whatever happened to witty costumes?

FeeFiFoto — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:58:34 -0500

One year a friend and I dressed in really preppie clothes and went as the Brooks Brothers. I guess it's just easier to go slutty than try to use your imagination.

Visit my blog: http://blog.FeeFiFoto.com

Something Else Stolen

Bill Cammack — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:41:21 -0500

Halloween has definitely been co-opted by the "Get your 'slut' on" faction. I think more importantly, though, music videos set the tone for that ONE DAY of Halloween. The whole concept of "Music Video Hoes" has made dressing up sexily a goal for little girls, world-wide.

Don't get me wrong, haha I'm a fan of and enjoy the hell out of the genre, but the reality is that in the realm of self-esteem, "I'm sexually attractive to males" is high up on the totem pole these days, even for girls that have zero intentions on hooking up with ANYBODY.

I think the only way around this is to have more female role models in the media that do other stuff than dress up to dance in videos. Sell some female CSI costumes or something. :)

Halloween itself is merely a microcosm for society's current values, similar to how beauty pageants give girls credit for their looks and prompt them to value themselves based on their looks as opposed to anything else they might be bringing to the table.

~ Bill

I blog at billcammack.com