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Pop psych for the soul,

avflox — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 07:20:51 -0500

Pop psych for the soul, baby.

Fascinating...

Bill Cammack — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 04:47:37 -0500

Interestingly enough, that Chicken Head was the first relationship you LOST, and prepared your mind that things that you love won't always be in your life, relationships can be painful and sometimes it's just better to let them go so you can get on with what's left...

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

When I was little, I hated

avflox — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 04:08:38 -0500

When I was little, I hated baby dolls. Everyone had one except me.
My favorite toy was Entrapta, a nemesis of She-Ra, the Warrior
Princess, known for her ability to capture foes with her incredible
tech savvy. Oh, and her fabulous hair.

I also loved a chicken
head that I stole from the kitchens, which I turned into a puppet. I
knew Mother would be horrified if she found it, so I hid it. It stunk
up my room and my nanny eventually did find it. It was totally
decayed--this was quite possibly one of the most disappointing and
eye-opening moments of my early childhood.

As I got older, I
became very preoccupied with the preservation of things. By the time I
was thirteen, I had an incredible collection of skeletons, stuffed
creatures, and bottled ones.

Explains my fascination today with gadgets, fur, scales and feathers, as opposed to babies. Maybe.

I'm glad you're doing

avflox — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:46:49 -0500

I'm glad you're doing better. Dealing with a breakup like this can be hard. You're not defective: you're a son of life, as you so rightly said. :)

That analogy is the best I

avflox — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:25:12 -0500

That analogy is the best I have heard regarding the situation. Thank you for sharing it with me. I believe in the power of stories. They teach, heal and they help us feel less alone.

Thank you, dear.

avflox — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 03:20:50 -0500

Thank you, dear.

Fantastic Post

AnnQuirk — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 20:02:44 -0500

Just visiting from another Site...your post was absolutely fantastic.

It also reminds me of when I got Married, and subsequently Divorced.....it's interesting how we often (mistakenly) feel we're the only ones who could ever feel a certain way, and then you realize it's much more common than you could have ever thought.

Thank you for such a great article!

- AnnQ

www.averagebutnot.com

Yes, true

unmotivated yet — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:57:41 -0500

But what do you do when it hurts to give in? Not just your ego but also your self esteem?

The last I heard "compromise" was a two way street. You can compromise most of the time but resentment sets in. Unless of course as you say both concerned are committed to looking for "solutions that are equally satisfying to both of us".

One way streets lead to only one-way.

I am at a point in my life where I am ready to do the ultimate compromise - letting go. If living with me is not sufficient for you to give in once in a while, then I am willing to make the ultimate compromise - I am letting you go so you can do what you want without having ever to even think of me. I am letting you be yourself. Isnt that what you wanted?

Sorry for the rant but your article caught me on a day where I am one inch away from reaching for my suitcases..............

Oh not at all..

Untameable — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:06:32 -0500

I love my little patch of green grass and would not trade it...or him for anything at this point. I am the kind of woman that will fight til the bloody end to keep my marriage together...I made a comitment with him and intend on doing all I can to maintain it. We do have our typical problems right now that marriages tend to get, but I love him feircly, and just as much today as the day I fell in love with him. I have lived through many a difficulties and challenges in my life and have learned that the grass on the otherside is a mirage! And as far as the mindset of high school, what I meant was more about the way they just relaxe and let loose and have fun as friends in a kind of deep, fun, exciting and enticing world of thoughts in that close, special girlfriend way. So just relax and Take your mind off of finding someone all together..."when we stop looking"...thats when we find them.

Good Luck and Best Wishes to you Lauren

Karen Lynn S.

Looking for green grass

rebellious thinker — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 20:08:10 -0500

If you grass is getting brown, I say water it and take care of it before you walk over it to some other patch. Anyone thinking of getting out of a relationship should realize that it isn't so easy to find someone else, even if you think you "have" him.

Me, I'm a lovely patch of green grass that seems to lack access. Oh well.

In high school I didn't go out, so I definitely don't want to revist that mindset. Where is that Prince Charming already? I mean, Sir Nice.

I'm glad I was your first commenter.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Yes...

Untameable — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 19:43:49 -0500

We all love, want and need to get dressed up and go out and have a little fun from time to time, thats for sure! But I will let you in on a little secret...The first time I saw/met my now current husband, I thought he was a geek and a total jerk! Lol...he acted like he owned the entire place of employment! It took me a little while to warm up to him and several months to fall in love. But the person that I wrote this comment on, had been in a long term relationship and had been seing the other person for quite some time also, so I figured if they didnt know the answer by then...they must be in love or more in love with the long term comitted relationship, otherwise they would have left. Fortunately they chose to stay. I dont think it's rational to leave one relationship for another without first having time apart, otherwise you can fall into the rut Americans are so famouse for these days...always thinking the grass is greener everytime you fall into a relationship pitfall. But, thats just my opinion. Thank you Laura for reading my first blog post and commenting. I do hope you find more exciting men soon, if not...go out with a girlfriend, and put your mind sets in the mode that us girls had back in High School, that should bring some excitement to the table huh? Karen Lynn S.

Hesitation

rebellious thinker — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 09:04:15 -0500

I think you definitely nailed it: if you're not sure, it's not it. This helps me with deciding whether or ot to go on a second or a third date with someone, if I'm trying to encourage myself to go rather than be excited, I know it's not it and it won't be it. Even if it's not "love at first sight" it will still probably be excitement or interest at first sight, something to go on and get dressed up for.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Hang in there, sister!

zazupitts — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 13:29:30 -0500

I've been there... so your words truly resonate with me! Your family is so lucky to be able to pull together to deal with the 24/7 task of caregiving.

For me, gratitudes and prayer helped me through the dark periods -- it sounds like you already have embraced that practice. Sometimes, just writing out my gratitudes every day and thanking our Creator was enough to bring me out of a negative spiral.

Finding little joys to share with your LO bring so much meaning to your life when you are caregiving -- just sharing a smoothie with a favorite topping, or watching an old movie with the LO can mean so much.

I'll pray for you...

Living in Caregiverland: www.Caregiverland.com

OMG There's a MAP

KWest — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 15:13:41 -0500

That would've been helpful...lol!

Now I'm gonna have to go buy your book, 'cause I think I should've turned left at Albequerque...

Seriously, though, I'm really enjoying reading your stuff. You have a clarity about your subject matter that's quite wonderful - probably a good thing, considering - and the funny is great, too.

--Kate

Thank you

Kim Pearson — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:32:12 -0500

KimBlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|