BlogHer - depression - Comments

www.queenofquirky.com &

queenofquirky — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:30:08 -0500

oops double comment. :)

No excuses

queenofquirky — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 12:28:34 -0500

www.queenofquirky.com & www.quirkywedding.wordpress.com

Wow, it's terrifiyng to be a human being in a monogomous relationship, isn't it? I guess it's really all about trust, but wow, those comments top the cake. (Not the wedding cake though. :))

Here's why men cheat!

high_skeezer — Thu, 28 May 2009 02:07:50 -0500

I hear all this talk about stroking egos and building guys up. Guys have it set in their minds from the get go about cheating. They won't give up a woman until they find the next one. When guys get into a serious relationship they tend to lose that sexual attraction after awhile naturally no matter what the girl is like. Men like variety. If your man has cheated on YOU than its time to move on. A guy should never be excepted back after cheating. Most of them drag things out in the relationship till they get caught cause of finances and ties, they look to avoid change as long as possible. They go to the fling for sexual support. The fling will never work out for them cause the dynamics change after the wife is out of the picture. A lot of guys struggle with the relationship but can handle it if its just sex. Men get caught up in media's portray of women and tend to look at them as objects. The womens movement is going backwards without females noticing- things are more behind the scenes now. You don't see many shows on now a days that celebrate how mothers (women) are essential part to the reproduction stage and men need to treat them with that respect and dignity that they deserve. You see them in bikinis, lusting for men, parading around like bimbos. Women don't tend to care about how they look as long as they get paid for it. Why is money so important? Cause after all the TV they watch and magazines, they fall for the old if you don't have this your nothing. Why is it that most women fall for this type of advertising? Anyway, way too many details but my point is that if women want to see guys stop cheating, they need to go straight to the point and not look at band-aid solutions. Women should be outraged about media portray of women and unrealistic fantasies for men. Remember it was not too long ago that women couldn't vote- I don't know about you, but I think women need to be involved a lot more than just looking good for the camera. Don't fall victim to the media and remember guys love power mixed with independence :)

Great post

Denise — Wed, 06 May 2009 10:46:10 -0500

I'm clicking over to read the rest of these tips because even though I am a mom, these posts can help me to be more sensitive to those who have not been able to have children.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

The Dust Bowl and the truth of the photos

blindedbyblonde — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:24:52 -0500

Historians have since clarified some of the dimensions of the
misnamed migration. Numbers are elusive but it is safe to say that
300-400,000 Oklahomans, Texans, Arkansans, and Missourians moved to
California and settled there during the 1930s. This would have been a
significant population transfer in any era but was particularly momentous in
the context of the depression when internal migration rates for other parts
of the country were low and when high unemployment made any kind of
relocation risky.

Distinctive too were certain demographic features of the migrant
population. Whites comprised roughly 95 percent of those moving. African
Americans were well represented in the populations of Oklahoma, Arkansas,
and Texas and some left during the 1930s, but usually for the cities of the
North. It was not until World War II that large numbers of African Americans
would move to the West Coast. Among the migrating whites gender was pretty
evenly balanced and the number of families quite large. A small family
headed by young adults was the most common profile.

Many of the people moving west were not farm folk. At least half
had been living in a town or city and doing some kind of blue-collar or less
frequently white-collar work before unemployment or stories of California
opportunities encouraged them to pack the car and hit the road. Most of
these migrants headed for the cities of California where they usually found
jobs and a decent standard of living in fairly short order. They were the
overlooked half of the illnamed Dust Bowl migration; their urban stories
lost in the concern and fascination that centered on the relocating farm
families who had chosen to look for work in the agricultural valleys of
California.

John Steinbeck and Dorothea Lange created the most memorable
portraits of what some families faced in those areas. Lange toured farm
labor camps in the spring of 1936, snapping photographs of ragged children
and worried parents living in tents and waiting for work. Some were
completely out of funds and food. Her most famous picture, "migrant
mother," showed a gaunt young widow holding her three daughters, her
careworn face suggesting that hope was running out. John Steinbeck wrote a
set of newspaper articles that year depicting in similar terms the desperate
plight of thousands. Then he sat down to write the book that became, three
years later, The Grapes of Wrath. His 1939 fictional account of the
Joad family, who lose their Oklahoma farm to dust and avaricious bankers and
then set out for the California promised land only to find there even
greater challenges and hardships, became an instant classic, the publishing
phenomena of the decade. When Hollywood followed up with an equally
brilliant movie directed by John Ford, the memory of the Dust Bowl migration
was secure. These works of art--by Steinbeck , Ford, Lange, and others--gave
the Joads and their kind a place in American history that would last
indefinitely.

Good Post, its really

Virginia_Collins — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 05:49:54 -0500

Good Post, its really informative. Here is another great site on heart health, http://www.bizymoms.com/cares/heart_health/index.html . I found articles, tips and health experts too. Stay Healthy!

Oh my

juliestevenson23 — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 20:03:12 -0500

Wow Gena, I never have been quite as emotionally attached to a post before as this one, mainly because I had very close family, go through the 1929 depression.

One the sadest parts for me is any talk about the "Dust Bowl." I've had family members talk about it, but never in as much detail as the sadness and heartache portrayed in the book, "Out of the Dust," by Karen Hesse. I'll never forget it..

Overall wonderful post thoug, Gena. Thanks!

Julie S, Free Credit Report (Financial Consultant)

Ah, we almost were in total agreement, drat

Gena Haskett — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 18:25:37 -0600

Now yes, there are low lifes in Congress and there were White House occupants that should not have been allowed to take the oath. I mention no names.

It isn't one thing. It is a collection of bad deal that like a malignant cell group together. If you can catch it in time you have a chance at stopping it. You have to be able to see it first.

If this thing is going to be fixed it will need a collation from progressive to libertarians and all people in between. We can work to that balance but we must pay attention.

Obama is alright with me so far. Congress, not so much. This is our time to say what we want and don't want. No matter where your are on the spectrum let you views be known.

Thank you for reading my post. I hope to do better next time.
Gena - Out On The Stoop

Not Actual Repackaged Mortgages - Derivatives Were the Problem

MLOKnitting — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 15:52:40 -0600

I did a really short synopsis on what actually was going on here: http://www.mloknitting.com/?p=583

Also, thought many don't realize it, we have been in a drought in much of the non-grass farming parts of the USA for at least a decade. This has led to soil erosion and a growing reliance on foreign food supplies. Farming is a vast and complex mess in the USA - with Monsanto and ADM stating repeatedly that they want to crush all their competition and control the food supply.

Ongoing consolidation in all industries is a very really problem that is being overlooked because of those saying that fewer companies (and banks) are consolidating now than during and after 1929 without recognizing that the sheer numbers of companies affected by the 1929 crash dwarfs the entire stock exchange today. There really were that many more banks and companies.

This does not even touch on the increasing reliance on consumer debt to subsidize business that happened during the build up to both depressions. (And, yes, this is a depression.)

We also had an extreme shift of wealth to the upper 1% - which does not include the people in McMansions. If your name isn't Rockefeller, Gates, etc., you aren't a club member. Union busting was a primary mover on that front - as was the repeal of usury laws.

This was an ongoing and long-coming downturn. Much of the previous booms were built on fantasy money - the dotcom bubble had been built on Milken's ill-gotten gains, for instance. We had already had an S&L scandal which consolidated debt into fewer hands with fewer regulatory restrictions (mostly thanks to Reagan and Bush, Sr.). Clinton was no friend to the working person either in his blind support of NAFTA. NAFTA served to destroy Mexico's economy as well.

Of course, this doesn't even go into the "Drug War" which several reporters over the years have shown to have had ties to Bush Sr.'s CIA as a covert ops to fund other covert ops like Iran Contra. Do you really think that large Black Marketeering doesn't damage the legitimate business?

There are a multitude of things that contributed, but, in the end, it was a cadre of criminals in Congress and the White House in collusion with the Courts that stole the American people - and the world - blind.

MLO / Melissa

I'm Both a Couch and Internet Potato

halflifecrisis — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 11:39:59 -0600

This winter has been especially cold, and especially hard to get off the couch or out from in front of the computer screen. What started as winter blahs, and mild depression, has escalated to a physical fact of lethargy. The less I move, the less I want to move.

I don't know how to make the blahs go away- I've had success with meditation, writing, and exercise, but mainly I've been lifted by other people. Like you, I find that accepting invitations which make me feel obligated to another is the best course to get me out of the house. And of course, Every time I go out I feel better, less lonely and less likely to believe the inner voice which tells me I'm better off staying in.

http://www.halflifecrisis.com

When one goes through such intense...

nelle2nelle — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 07:30:29 -0600

life issues such as this, one surely relates and sympathises with another who does as well, because we can so feel the pain and angst.

How does one convey what it is like to look at a pile of work day after day after week after month and yet not move to act upon it? Frozen there.

That is hard to convey, but you, me, others who have been there can feel it.

I still feel the pull of turtleing, which of course is different than what I described, but there are times I wish to shut out the outside world, wall myself off, and I resist mightily, with about all of my being at times, never ever wishing to be that far in again.

You certainly were and are a good friend, one I've valued for nigh a decade now.

nelle

llhaesa

I think we need to talk about it, Sis.

skeeterbess — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 03:49:07 -0600

Depression is lonely and isolating. Talking about it can be the first step towards abandoning the couch. Knowing that other people have the same condition is not enough. Knowing HOW they have it (Oh, there IS someone else like me!) HOW they felt (I've felt that!) HOW they coped (So anti-depressants and a therapist might help me too?) and HOW they're doing now (There's hope for me!) can be encouraging. It's human nature to think our own condition is unique and it's the nature of depression to believe that we can't be helped. Sharing our stories can help others get past those obstacles and on the road to real help.

skeet's stuff - digging my way out of the clutter

I'm so sorry for your loss, Suebob

skeeterbess — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 01:58:09 -0600

You've probably heard all of this before. None of it originated with me, but it rings true and bears repeating:

Suicide is the ultimate selfish act in that it is all about the individual commiting the act. It's not about friends who disappointed, lovers who cheated, bosses who were unfair, financial ruin or inconsolable loss. It's about the indivdual's conviction that they are unable to handle whatever life has handed out. It's a determination to no longer try to cope.

I know these things are true, but, like you, I still feel guilty about two friends who took their own lives many years ago. I still wonder "What if?" and "Maybe if I'd only ..." Maybe we need that guilt because without it we might want to blame the person who hurt us so much by taking themselves out of our lives? It feels so wrong to blame someone who has come to such a sad end that we can't make ourselves do it. We choose instead to try to carry some of the burden of their decision. We need to let that go.

I'm not sure that it's possible to help someone who has made the decision to take their own life, but I do know that we can be supportive and helpful to those suffering from depression. Ilya did it by being supportive, non-judgemental and caring. Nelle did it in long conversations where we shared our concerns, our dreams and our disappointments. For what it's worth, I've never "met" either of them. We are all long-term online friends. Some of my "real world" friends dragged me out of the house when I didn't think I wanted to leave, or visited me in my home. I think maybe the best answer to your question is this: Be a friend. Follow your heart and your instincts. Your sincerity and concern will shine through and are very good medicine.

skeet's stuff - digging my way out of the clutter

I had forgotten, Nelle ...

skeeterbess — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 00:59:19 -0600

that my internist gave me an anti-depressant long before I started counseling. I had a single-dose reaction similar to the one you've described. I don't remember now which medication it was, but the experience was bad enough that I resisted my therapist's recommendation that I give Prozac a try. When he recommended in-patient treatment as an alternative I finally agreed to try the drug and it turned out to be the right thing for me.

You and I were unreaveling around the same time. Our circumstnaces were different but I remember and still value the kinship it sparked. You've been a good friend to have in my corner.

skeet's stuff - digging my way out of the clutter

Well Said!

sandhillsis — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 14:04:32 -0600

This is one of those topics that many don't talk about. I found this post very refreshing, from someone who has been knee deep in depression and came out beautifully on the other side. Loved hearing your struggles and triumphs. Good for you.

Sis

www.reclaimsimplicity.com

Discover how rich and hilarious life can be when it's simple. Tales and tips on making money mind, riding the recycle, simple food, homegrown music and gardening.