BlogHer - online dating - Comments

I think we need a name for

avflox — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:27:33 -0500

I think we need a name for that specific psychological space we inhabit when we engage in this way. It's a very powerful catalyst when combined with illusion and desire in that it renders the beloved omnipresent. It somehow changes the chemical structure of the passion in ways I can't verbalize.

As for the treatment of Sanford, I will only say that our treatment of politicians in the United States is ridiculous. We want them so desperately to be like us, but heaven forbid they show any human flaw.

Of course I remember you!

avflox — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:08:57 -0500

Of course I remember you! How charming to be able to connect with you again, my dear! And yes, you're right, there is power in words and stories. They are like a magnifying glass over emotion, capable of magnifying events and experiences into incredible things.

Love In The 2.0, Indeed!

abartelby — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 07:29:01 -0500

I have always been fascinated by that specific psychological space that we inhabit when we engage in online flirtations, and perhaps even more fascinated by, due to my own experiences, what happens when the digital antics confabulate IRL. I think you did a marvelous job here of capturing that entire experience, and really presenting the entire Sanford "affair" in a much less awkward (and, certainly, more enlightened) light than have most journalists.

+ + +

Atherton Bartelby, Curious Affairs

following you around the web

librarianwolf — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:59:26 -0500

So, I don't know if you remember me, but I used to be wolfstones on libraryjournal a couple of years ago. I've still be reading your stuff as you jump around the blogs, but I have been quiet. I loved reading this piece though. There is something very compelling and outright bizarre about the governor's whole affair. It must be awful for his wife though too to know that she is not his soulmate (even if she already knew that in her soul). But there is something so tragic about that. There is also something so compelling about letters (even email letters). I don't know if you remember me talking about it in my blog, but I had an epistolary romance about three years ago and the power of us writing to each other fueled the most intense romance I've ever experienced. Something that has shaken me down to my core ever since and something I've never really been able to shake. Your post reminded me--with both the governor and his lover's letters as well as your's and David's--just how powerful the written word is in fueling intoxication. Writing can transform mundane observations into the most beautiful poems of existence. It's an incredible intoxication. Anyway, I loved this post. It was chilling and very insightful.

Hey, I was kicked from eharmony as well.

will.you — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 08:43:34 -0500

Hey, I was kicked off eharmony recently too. They would not say was the reason was, however they did give me a partial refund.

They have so far refused to return any emails, and have refused registered letters vis USPS in regards to why I was kicked.

Here is the letter I was sent via email:

Dear XXXXXXX,

Thank you for contacting eHarmony. We have reviewed your account and
determined that it was closed in accordance with our Terms and
Conditions of Service. Regretfully, we cannot discuss the reason for
closure. However, we refunded your account the unused balance totaling
$xxx.xx. Please allow 1 to 2 business cycles for this credit to appear
in your statement.

For any questions related to this action, you may visit our Frequently
Asked Questions section concerning the closure of user accounts. You
can find this information at the following link:

https://help-singles.eharmony.com/cgi-bin/eharmony_singles.cfg/php/enduser/guided_adp.php?p_faqid=1141

Sincerely,

Risk Management
eHarmony

Customer (Name Removed)Why was my pre-paid subscription canceled?

Auto-ResponseIf you were unable to find an answer to your question, our
Customer Care team is available 24 hours a day to assist you. Please
select the “Finish Submitting Question" button below to send us your
inquiry.

Please note: Your question will be sent to us only if you click "Finish Submitting Question" below.

I found you!! I knew you

SAngel — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 11:39:51 -0500

I found you!!

I knew you were over here somewhere! I was reading updates in mygoogle reader and you popped up on Blog Her,

Connie Jo must be a wonderful daughter, so fun and so smart!

I love reading both of her blogs, and I totlly admire your mother daughter realtionship...

ItsAngel

BlogHer: http//blogher.com/sangel

Blogger: http//angel-startingover.blogspot.com

That's a sweet notion.

The Armchair Performer — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 03:01:45 -0600

Hopefully he won't remember the sweaty part.

http://armchairperformer.com

A memorable day

conversationswithmoms — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 12:24:33 -0600

What an unusual date. It sounds like a lot of fun. I'm sure he'll remember you forever no matter where it goes from here.

Maria Melo

http://www.conversationswithmoms.com

Keep A Smile

midlifemuse — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:40:55 -0600

We really need to keep a sense of humor about dating at this time of life--sounds like you've got that--and the condoms!!!

Sounds cool!

Suzy — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 08:39:29 -0600

Hey Liz,

Coool post!...eHarmony actually has helped a lot of my friends also get to meet interesting people...but I know you will call me old fashioned...I like natural settings....like meeting in a library, cofee shops to meet and get to know rather than the online websites etc...I have also tried some cool new mobile applications on my blackberry....uess you have to wen you are 30 and still single!!!...what I use is Bluepont...its new but sorts of work for me...

It's not that bad

karenbrower — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 01:56:24 -0600

We still have our independence, our identity and our spirit. Take confidence in that and all will turn out well.

In regards to dating sites, I've found a lot more success at eharmony than the other personals ads sites like match or lavalife.

I loved the end of your article because it was very hard for me to go into 7-11 and buy condoms! My personal favorite site is http://www.condomman.com .. LOL!

Interracial couples

repliderium.com — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:33:58 -0500

Don't know if they don't have them intentionally in the commercials but I do know that eharmony had some trouble a little while back about refusing people looking for same sex relationships- maybe they feel the same way about interracial????

Match.com alumna here!

nakedanarchists — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 12:14:53 -0500

My favorite cyber dating question from an exchange with my now-husband:

"You are invited to a book burning. What do you bring?"

Keep at it, Liz. If they are sitting on your communications, chances are they don't fit the bill.

http://nakedanarchists.wordpress.com

Dating alternatives

kimmerie — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:47:32 -0500

I can't help but offer to save you money and heartache (I've been on all the dating sites myself) and recommend a book. It's written by someone who had a disastrous dating track record and turned it around, really. She used techniques that she learned as a saleswoman. Ok, granted, she's young, she's very attractive - that helps. But, she also helps people write their dating site profiles so you know she's got to be good. Check it out and let me know what you think. The book: You Lost Him at Hello by Jess McCann. I represent a lot of books and a lot of authors. This one is simple and smart.

interracial companies on eHarmony

Liz Rizzo — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:20:43 -0500

There's nothing in the process that diminishes that result. However, both parties have to have indicated they are open to all races, which was the default when I joined. I get lots of matches of all sorts. :)

As to not showing any in the commercials, that's a trickier topic. Are they purposely not choosing to show interracial couples? Or do they simply have less interracial couples to choose from? The people in the commercials, I'm pretty sure, are people who have contacted eHarmony about their marriages.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.