BlogHer - careers - Comments

Just another media hype..

JCK — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:21:33 -0500

I'm so sick of these B.S. stories put out by the media. In fact, it is OFTEN very difficult to tell the difference these days between ABC news and E Entertainment. I think your points are well thought out, and your delving into the statistics to counter their claim cracked me up. Unfortunately, I do think there are a lot of young girls who would follow Lindsay Lohan's move. The culture today is truly lacking in positive role models for young girls and girls are saturated by the sexual images of who they "should be" by the media. It is truly terrifying.

JCK of Motherscribe

http://motherscribe.blogspot.com

Sounds like wishful thinking

JChandler — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:23:14 -0500

By even throwing out the stories the way the media is maybe some were hoping to start that trend. :) Wishful thinking. I think your points were good ones, this appears to be nothing but trash news and that always gets the eyes watching.

As a support worker and counsellor I have worked with women who have made those choices out of desperation, but they are not representative of the majority of career women.

As for the stripping industry itself, no little girl says "Daddy I want to be a stripper when I grow up." So, anyone who supposedly "chooses" it as a profession, already had issues that need to be addressed beyond their bank accounts. There are always alternatives.

You hit the nail on the head...

anotherjen — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 14:59:09 -0500

A couple of women taking jobs as strippers to beat the recession, do not a trend make. It's so typical of the media to latch on to this idea that women are all so desperate for money that they will do something that they wouldn't ordinarily do (i.e. strip) in order to make a quick buck. I'm pretty sure that if a woman isn't comfortable with the idea of putting her body on display, it doesn't matter how much she needs the money, she won't strip (just to be clear, I don't have a problem with women making money stripping -- to each their own). This isn't a trend.

Besides, what about the growing evidence that the recession is hitting men harder than women? Who exactly is paying for all these "new strippers"?

---------------------------------------------------

Next Rich Girl, personal finance for savvy women

Lindsey should talk to Elizabeth Berkley

Kim Pearson — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 17:45:05 -0500

"Showgirls" wasn't exactly a genius career move.

You have neatly demonstrated why it's so important to bring the ability to critically evaluate the data presented in a story. It seems as it the journalists let the racy content get in the way of the basic reasoning needed to evaluate the claims being made. Then again, had they thought it through, it probably wouldn't have been a story at all.

Although i will say that going topless in Maine in February makes about as much sense to me as the people who plunge into icy ocean waters on New Years.

KimBlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|

Not sure about that study

mashadutoit — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 07:50:12 -0500

That study probably reveals more about the extent to which women and girls have to be explicitly aware of gender than about their need for role models. I'm reminded of my fellow students - in the days of apartheid and whites only schools - blithely saying that they dont consider race to be important, and therefore they are not racist. If you are white, you can afford to be un-aware of racial issues.

Maybe if you are female, you are more aware of women who act outside of their supposed gender roles...

I cant say I have a role model. But I do have a special place in my heart for strong women who excel in any of the fields that I am interested in. As you say, they often dont fit the "role model" idea in my mind because of differences in the way they conduct their personal lives - or maybe their personalities are so differnt from mine I would not want to emulate them.

But it is still very important to me to know about people like Patti Smith, Leni Riefenstahl, Kathe Kollwitz, Katherine Hepburn, Helen Suzman. And the fact that they are women does matter. It matters to me.

Are You a Mom Who is Employed or an Employee Who is a Mom?

Crimson Wife — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 17:52:13 -0500

Ms. Hass seems to be getting annoyed that her interviewees consider themselves moms first and CEO's or whatever second. I feel sorry for kids whose moms do NOT feel that way. It's all fine and good to take pride in one's professional accomplishments. But they're not what's REALLY important once children enter the picture. Assuming that the women being interviewed by Ms. Hass are telling her the truth about their priorities, they ought to be applauded not criticized for it.

Why do you feel sorry for these kids?

Rita Arens — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 12:12:18 -0500

Crimson Wife -- can you elaborate? How do you think the kids are suffering? I'm not sure there's a direct correlation between where a woman puts her personal pride and the job she does as a mother. I'm sure we'd like to understand you better -- you may not have meant what you wrote in the way I'm reading it.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

I Feel Sorry for Your Kids

Crimson Wife — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:56:22 -0500

All you moms who consider some career accomplishment more important to you than becoming a mom.

Don't get me wrong, I had a perfectly fine life before my kids were born. I'm proud of things I did in the paid positions I've held, of earning my degree, of various personal and professional accomplishments, etc. It feels good to have one's hard work recognized with promotions, honors/awards, etc. But none of them are even remotely as important to me as my own children.

I'm not solely defined by being my children's mom, but it's the most important part of who I am. Jobs come and go (especially in the current economic climate), but family is forever.

Dangerous one-size-fits-all

mama2bna — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:53:10 -0500

It seems that sometimes, particularly with parenting, people are quick to make it black and white. Don't talk about it at work, or that's all it's about at work. It changed my life or I don't need it in my life. I just don't feel resentment when people express joy or satisfaction, no matter how vocal they are about it. That said, I only talk about my kids when asked in the workplace— my blogs, my home, that's another story.

I loved how you said that she was the best thing that ever happened to you. I wish that kind of statement for everyone.

Amanda

http://lifewithbriar.blogspot.com

http://toddlywinks.blogspot.com

I love my kids, but tact should be important

MAInfo — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:22:31 -0500

I think of my kids as my life's work. Not that I take credit for the things that they do. I know I have been an influence on them. But most of their greatness is innate.

Whether to spout off constantly at work about the kids in front of childless coworkers, I think that some sensitivity is in order. I know a number of infertile women around the internet. I know some in real life, too, although most people don't discuss infertility openly in real life. It breaks my heart. These folks have tried for years to conceive, usually putting themselves into deep financial debt, only to fail. To go on and on in rhapsodies about how motherhood changes you and how it is a love that only mothers can know may be honest, but too brutal. Not all truths need to be spoken of on a constant basis.

I hear bitterness in the article, and I comprehend it. I'm so sorry to all the ladies who are struggling with infertility. My heart truly cries for you, and I hope that you find some solutions and comfort in this world.

MAInfo.blogspot 44-y-o mom of 6

that article annoyed me

myfunnyfunnyfamily — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:09:49 -0500

For one thing, the CEO said, "Isn't IT the best thing you've ever done?"

"It" isn't her child. "It" is parenting. And yes, parenting, being a mother, is the best thing I've ever done. My husband would tell you the same thing. Hands down.

I think this writer was really looking a gift horse in the mouth. I've interviewed a lot of CEOs, and it's rare for someone to open up so freely to a reporter about his/her personal life, right away. This CEO reached out a hand of rapport -- something the reporter could actually related to -- and the reporter let it hang there.

One thing I discovered, to my delight, after having my first child is that it gave me some common ground with so many of the other women I met in daily life -- coworkers, the woman doing my nails, anyone. If you don't know what to talk about, ask someone if they have kids, and it's like you have both had a martini -- the conversation begins to flow. I certainly wouldn't prattle on about my kids to someone who shows no interest, but I love the common ground it gives me with people from vastly different social stratas.

Moderation is key.

Rita Arens — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 20:12:56 -0500

I think you guys have really nailed the "how much to talk about kids at work" thing on the head: moderation is key. If you're asked a direct question, it's fine to reply. What we as moms have to avoid is launching in on people without reading their nonverbal cues. If the other person's eyes glaze, it's time to look for a more forgiving audience.

Rita Arens writes at Surrender Dorothy and BlogHer and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak.

Always a thought provoking topic!

JCK — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 11:03:23 -0500

I am currently a SAHM, so I can't speak to an office environment. But, I do remember many years in which I was trying (unsuccessfully) to become pregnant, and feeling very sensitive to other women going on and ON about their children. Now I understand that, but would hope I would be able to temper myself a bit and note when it is appropriate conversation or not.

I really connected with what you said about perhaps it being parenting that is your accomplishment, rather than your children. Someday I hope to look back and feel that I earned that accomplishment. I don't feel that my children are MY accomplishment, yet I do know that they are my greatest blessing and have stretched me in ways I could never have thought possible. I believe our children, however they come to us, are here to be OUR teachers.

I love Kahlil Gibran's Poem:

ON CHILDREN

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

JCK from Motherscribe

http://motherscribe.blogspot.com

I think this question sets us up for disastrous answers

Delaine Moore — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 15:11:13 -0600

Trying to identity ONE thing as be THE most important accomplishment somehow negates other valuable ways in which we've personally grown and acheived our best. We don't need to narrow it down to one.

We don't need to love or feeling proud of just one thing.

Delaine Moore

www.iamdivorcednotdead.com

Because a woman's body never lies...

"Parenting is a job, and

Blog Mama — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 14:32:53 -0600

"Parenting is a job, and it's something you do, but perhaps your parenting is your accomplishment, not your child."

I completely agree. I struggled with the decision to have kids and finally was okay with it, once I decided it was ultimately a creative act, and i consider myself to be a creative person. But i wouldn't say having a child was the most creative act I've done, I would say parenting is. And I adore my kids, but they are not "my accomplishment." That being said, I can see why people might feel that way, when you give so many aspects of your life up for them.

http://www.gratitude365.blogspot.com/