BlogHer - infant loss - Comments

Permission to use?

labrown — Sat, 18 Oct 2008 13:32:50 -0500

Greetings,

I am leading the Sunday service at my Unitarian Universalist church on October 26th called "Remembrances: A Celebration of Samhain", and would like permission to adapt your Samhain Prayer for the chalice lighting.

Blessed Be,
Ursus

Ouch...

kazari — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 23:14:17 -0500

I wish I could give you a hug or a blessing. Or something that would help.

Whine all you want! But your post touched many things in me, and I wanted to share:

- 'does not live up to potential' was the theme song of my formal education. it's possibly still true - i didn't find my focus there. i haven't found it yet. Possibly we could have looked harder, fought harder - or maybe our answers weren't there in the first place.

- don't let your instruments gather dust. play for yourself, not an audience - pick it up with the INTENTION of playing badly, if that's the only way you can pick it up at all.

- solitary practice may help you in ways you could never imagine. it could open your eyes to ways of worship that are completely personal to you.

keep going : )

I am so sorry for your loss.

Tacomamama — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 11:23:51 -0500

I think you get to feel anything you want, even envy. Take care of yourself.

Tacoma Mama

Kitchen Table Issues

My heart goes out to

Finding_Mary — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:21:55 -0500

My heart goes out to you.

Motherhood

rebellious thinker — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 06:55:48 -0500

He needs you, not a mommy performance. And if you are giving him all that you can now, then that is what he needs.

Sorry for your loss.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

I am sorry for your loss.

girlyclown — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 08:08:14 -0500

Jennifer---

i am sorry that you never got to see or hold your son after he was born. Things have change and there are many working to change just how stillbirth parent and family experiences stillbirth are treated.

I am not sure what state you are in but if you are in a state that offers a certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth you may want to look into getting one. http://www.missingangelsbill.org/

it may be too late to hold him and look at him but it is not too late to name him. It may bring you some peace.

beside The glow in the woods gals there are a few other place you can find blogs on loss... the baby loss directory, and the stirrup queen both have extensive blog rolls about various types onf baby loss. if you care to read or share.

peace, light and love from one stillbirth mom to another.

http://clownbaby.blogspot.com

Thank you

HeidiO — Tue, 13 May 2008 15:51:27 -0500

Thank you for thinking of all the other mom's who are hurting. There are times I put my miscarriage out of my mind and it hits me like a brick at the most unexpected moments. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child after they are born, but knowing the pain of the miscarriage seems to be the closest thing I can imagine. Sometimes it's good to be reminded that there are others out there that hurt too. In real life people forget or just don't want to hear about it after that first month or so. Here's a place to go no matter how long it has been, you still grieve. Thank you for creating a place to belong.

http://momydoesntlivehereanymore.blogspot.com/

Thanks for the link.

Rachelle Mee-Chapman — Tue, 13 May 2008 06:56:28 -0500

Thanks for the props! I needed that!

I'm gone next Monday but will be back on the 26th.

Rachelle Mee-Chapman http://www.magpie-girl.com

Thanks for the link. I

Froniga — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:46:55 -0500

Thanks for the link. I suspect motherhood can switch very quickly from being one thing to the other. I'm enjoying reading all these other posts you highlight here. Such fine writing.

Brave Jen, thank you for

Tracey Clark — Sat, 10 May 2008 09:32:05 -0500

Brave Jen, thank you for sharing your story. There is strength and comfort in mourning our losses together. Glow in the Woods is a gift of the most heartbreakingly courageous kind.

Tracey Clark Mother May I & Shutter Sisters

Thanks

WonderSpot — Mon, 05 May 2008 19:53:26 -0500

Wow. I just wrote a blog post this morning about miscarrying this weekend. As much as I hate that ANYONE else has to feel this way, there's some sort of comfort in knowing I'm not alone right now...no matter what it feels like.

Thanks for writing this.

WonderSpot
www.wonderspot.net

It is good but sad that we are not alone...

Crunchy Carpets — Mon, 05 May 2008 13:32:17 -0500

I lost Scott on December 5th...and I am still in awe of the amount of women who comforted me and shared their pain.

And yeah..even today..our nurses were pretty crappy about the whole experience....had no real clue how to treat us or our child.

It was the social worker who was an angel..I will never forget her...or my boy.

But it does get better.

The pain. I woke up one day and realized I was ok. That I could mourn him and dream about him...but still move on....

My wee boy that never got a chance.

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

I had been following both

Dana J. Tuszke — Mon, 05 May 2008 08:43:07 -0500

I had been following both ladies' blogs and was heartsick when I learned of their miscarriages. I couldn't stop crying.

I had a miscarriage 11 months after my son was born. I didn't even know I was pregnant until the bleeding and when I went to the emergency room the doctors and nurses were just zooming around, avoiding direct conversation and eye contact.

I was so naive, I thought,"Tthis won't hurt because I didn't have the chance to absorb all this information." But two days later the grief set in and I thought I was losing my mind. I couldn't figure out why I was sobbing over a pregnancy I barely had a second to consider. (Maybe it was hormones, but I felt like a mess.)

The worst part is the guilt. Thinking you've done something wrong to damage or rid your body of that pregnancy. That's the hardest part to get over. At least it was for me.

My thoughts and prayers are with Alice and SC. There are no words to make the pain go away, but it's true. They don't have to grieve alone.

I had a stillbirth 5 years ago.

Crissi77 — Sat, 03 May 2008 14:56:07 -0500

I, unfortunately, did go through this. At the time, I couldn't believe that bad stuff like this really did happen in real life. A few months later, I then suffered a miscarriage. but I was still hurting so bad from the stillbirth that I couldn't even focus on the fact that I had just lost another baby. At that time, life became slow motion and the days blended in with each other. With time, life has resumed to normal, or what normal is after you lose a child. I don't think you ever fully get over it. The world is seen through new eyes. To this day I have a hard time sharing in the joy when a friend or family member has a baby. But I am the first to support when someone I know has a failed pregnancy. I'm sorry you had to go through this too. Like you, I don't like others to join this club. Thank you for sharing your story. You can read mine at http://www.winecountrymom.com/his-middle-name-was-marley/

Check out my blog on adventures as a single mom. www.winecountrymom.com

Haven't been though this

Vered — Sat, 03 May 2008 12:51:26 -0500

But I am so sorry for you loss. And for any other woman who goes through this.

Anyone who ever doubted that an online community can be a "real" community and provide people with "real" support (and I have heard that being questioned more than once), should read this post.

Vered DeLeeuw
www.momgrind.com