BlogHer - work-life balance - Comments

The problem with flex-time

PunditMom — Mon, 18 May 2009 09:01:36 -0500

You are right on this point. Many moms I know extoll the virtues of being able to leave work for sick kids or attending school functions, but the "flexibility" part is really being more available -- 24/7.

I often complain about this with Mr. PunditMom and his BlackBerry -- he might be home at 6:30 p.m. for dinner, but he's expected to stay connected with that thing until 11 p.m. or later. We need for flex-time NOT to be viewed as a workplace with no boundaries, and that may be hard to come by.

They're all about flexibility when it comes to working longer

Cat H — Mon, 18 May 2009 08:10:07 -0500

I hear you on the issues with flexible hours and realistic leave policies, but, in my experience, it's hard enough to get your employer to back off even the traditional "off" days and hours in the age of email, texting and the Blackberry.

Many employees are expected to be available to answer phone calls and email at all hours or teleconference in at night and on vacation. Many companies seem to be all about flexibility when it comes to working *more,* (taking calls, emails, etc. at home) butit doesn't work both ways.

You're right ..

PunditMom — Fri, 15 May 2009 12:33:18 -0500

...balance is needed by everyone and these are important issues regardless of family status. Thanks for pointing out Paua's post, which is fabulous, too.

It is wrong that there is an underlying current that employers, if they offer leave and flexibility, have different expectations of employees without children -- that was definitely my experience at the law firm before I was married and before PunditGirl arrived.

What puzzles me is why employers don't get how much money they would save in the long run. That's one reason the big accounting firms are so far ahead in this area -- they are number crunchers and discovered years ago that flexibility and benefits were more about retaining good employees than it was about anything else -- which, in the end, means more money for them!

Not just for families

Maria Niles — Fri, 15 May 2009 12:17:32 -0500

I suspect you've hit the nail on the head regarding CVWF. These industry groups (like similar efforts in the healthcare debate) tend to form to offer "voluntary" reform because their lobbying efforts might not be sufficient to prevent legislation from being passed that they don't want.

If a focus on families generates change, great, but we need these policies, period for all workers regardless of their family status (see Paula G's great post, policies targeted at families don't always fit gay families or singles). I forget what the percentage was but I was shocked by the very large number of workers who don't have any sick leave. This was in conjunction with a story about the swine flu scare and the very welcome recommendation that people who had the flu or symptoms stay home rather than risk infecting their co-workers. Hard to do if the trade off is risking your job at a time of massive job loss and unemployment.

Bottom line, everyone needs balance and we'd do well as a society to see people as human and not replaceable cogs.

BlogHer Contributing Editor
PopConsumer
Beyond Help

The Quest For Balance or The Holy Grail

Tori_Founder_Zoe_Foods — Fri, 15 May 2009 08:31:24 -0500

I have come to the conclusion that the quest for balance is akin to the quest for the Holy Grail. We’re not going to find it and we’re not going to stop looking either. For that matter, I’m not so sure that if we found it, we’d even realize that we had achieved the elusive state of balance.

I prefer to think of my quest for balance as a journey spread over my lifetime. I have periods of intense work (starting Zoe Foods – okay the last 9 years of Zoe Foods) and intense play (taking time off to work on sailboats in the Caribbean after finishing business school while working full-time). When I got married and had children, I found that my periods of intensity had to be of a shorter duration or I would miss participating in my children’s life. My life now has become a tapestry in which work and personal are mixed to the point that they are sometimes indistinguishable.

Tori
Founder & President, Zoe Foods
Keep dreaming, keep believing, keep achieving
Mompreneur Musings: The Quest for Balance at http://www.zoefoods.com/blog
http://www.zoefoods.com (my company!)

So many great thoughts...

paulag01 — Fri, 15 May 2009 07:19:06 -0500

Oh Wilma - I love how you share you just emodied the bully when you made the shift. I can so relate to that initially. It is SO deeply ingrained in the culture, in us and because everyone else is doing we think it is "normal". Er, not really.... Thanks for your thoughts.

Elana - thanks for the link. Very relevant and interesting contribution to this conversation.

Next Rich Girl - -so very true. Balance isn't about trying to eat the whole buffet at once. That is a recipe for overwhelm and setting oneself up for failure!

ynnej - so true -- prioritize first before jumping in. Can't tell you how many times I got the order reversed too!

Appreciate all the thoughts and conversation...

-Paula

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company

http://www.thepaulagcompany.com

Men struggling with Work life Balance

Elana Centor — Fri, 15 May 2009 06:13:35 -0500

Interesting interview on Minnesota Public Radio about work-life balance which says that men in a two income household are feeling more stress over life work balance than their wives.

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

We are bullied!

Wilma Ham — Thu, 14 May 2009 17:06:58 -0500

I love this line from 'Next Rich Girl' Je;
"So "balance" is actually about making the tough choices between what you need to do, what you want to do and what you think you should do."

I think there is the crux of the matter and I would add, what you think you are are allowed to do. It is all about choosing, however we are confused about the choices we have.
What choice do we have when the whole world is putting the fear of God into us when we even dare to consider to NOT to follow the 'work hard and don't put personal life before work or else' rules.

We are bullied into developing core beliefs about work that suits big hierarchical corporations and they openly are threatening us! You cna hear it in the language they use.

Of course we are fearful to choose what could be best for us as it nearly always clashes with what 'the big bully' work wants from us.

Setting boundaries around work is all good and well but that requires a lot of support from outsiders who will help you to stand up against that bully!

And then comes the saddest bit. When I left the corporate world guess who became my bully then?
ME, I was so used to the belief that working hard is necessary for success that I then used a whip on myself to have me work 24/7 in my own business.
How crazy is that?

It has taken me a long time to get over that and work from my heart.
Because my heart and intuition got confused by all this bullying too.
The heart in the end didn't know it was Arthur or Martha, was it good or was it bad what it craved for?
I had to let my heart recover from that fearful bussiness and now it is no longer confused or fearful.
I am NOT afraid to take a walk when the sun shines, or take weekends off.
I know it all will work out.
And guess what, life is ticking over grand and it is only getting better the more stronger my heart is becoming.

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

The real meaning of balance

anotherjen — Thu, 14 May 2009 13:45:01 -0500

I think the problem is that so many women think that "balance" means finding the time to do every single thing you want/need to do -- and do all of it perfectly. That's why we all get so run down. The truth is that unless your an heiress or have a time machine (or maybe both!), that's pretty impossible. So "balance" is actually about making the tough choices between what you need to do, what you want to do and what you think you should do.

--------------------------------------------------

Next Rich Girl, personal finance for savvy women

It's beneficial for all women to prioritize

ynnej — Thu, 14 May 2009 10:01:47 -0500

Great post! I absolutely agree. It wasn't until I had to start going to counseling for anxiety, depression, and substance abuse that I realized that, as a single women, my inability (or unwillingness, or fear, or whatever) to prioritize when it came to my career vs. my personal life was seriously damaging me as a person! I am so thankful that I reached this breaking point and gained some tools in setting boundaries BEFORE I committed to someone in a relationship. Previous relationships had really suffered from my lack of boundaries at work, and I never understood why.

I have to say, being married without kids seems to confuse people a lot when it comes to categorizing me in the workplace ("Can she work tons of overtime since she doesn't have kids?!!")I'm almost going to miss confusing people, I was glad it made them think a little. Now I'm afraid I might look like someone on the Mommy track...Oh well, I guess there are advantages and disadvantages to every stage of life!

http://ConscientiousConfusion.blogspot.com

Integration and Alignment!

paulag01 — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:31:11 -0500

You hit the nail on the head Kathy, at least in terms of my views. As I wrote about in my post linked from within this article - balance is nearly impossible - we always hover AROUND a point of balance. Aligning with your values and integrating what is important in your life and business is the key.

Thanks for sharing

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company

http://www.thepaulagcompany.com

don't believe in balance here!

Kathy333 — Wed, 13 May 2009 13:21:22 -0500

I don't believe in balance. It's funny I recently wrote a post on allbusiness about work/life integration because I really, really feel you can't have it all at the same time. Balancing to me is impossible - with two young kids and my own business - so instead i try to figureo ut what has to be done, what is most important, and go from there. sometimes that means more time with family and less on work, and sometimes that means the opposite. for a long time I tried to attain balance - then I took ita little easier on myself and realized to be happy, I have to understand there are some give and takes, and that is okay!

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers

Mama Marathoner

Hi Maria! Thanks for the

problemsolvinmom — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 05:48:20 -0500

Hi Maria!

Thanks for the comment!

I find that the bubble maps work best for me when I'm planning out specific projects or a very busy day, rather than as an everyday planner. Since the pages can be shuffled and they aren't assigned a date this works well. The mapping is great for brainstorming - thankfully there are a lot of planner options out there, since all of our minds work a little differently. ;)

Thanks!

Steph

http://problemsolvinmom.blogspot.com

www.twitter.com/psmom

http://www.sproutforparents.com/sprout/ParentsPlace/

Organizing 101

conversationswithmoms — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 12:41:29 -0600

Very detailed giving readers a lot of choices. Thanks.

I'm still not able to get into the whole mapping, or bubble map. Maybe it's just because I've never used it before.

Maria Melo

http://www.conversationswithmoms.com

I have to agree that it is

kathiemt — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 06:57:00 -0500

I have to agree that it is important to take a real break. I run my own business and disconnecting at any time is a real challenge. But I switch to 'no mail' on all forums. I divert client requests to one of my team members and I notify all my clients well in advance and assign them temporarily to members of the my Virtual Assistant team.

I do take my laptop but that's because I take lots of photos and download them to my laptop and then update my family blog with our travels so family and friends back home can see what we're up to. I check for emails from the VA running things for me but I don't expect to hear from her unless there's a problem. Otherwise, all other email just waits till I get back home.

Kathie M. Thomas,
Business & personal interest blogs

Listed in the Top 100 Aussie Blogs list

http://www.kathiethomas.com/blogs.htm