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I'm so glad I found this site.

Melinda17 — Thu, 03 May 2007 17:24:24 -0500

Hi Everyone,
I'm Melinda, I lost my mom to Cancer on June 13th, 2006. She had cancer for two years before it took her. She started to get really bad in March and then passed away. Even tho I knew she would die from it, it was still a huge shock she died. I didn't think the MY mother could die...didn't that only happen to other people.

I'm trying to cope, as best I can. I have custody of my little brother who was 10 when our mom died, I had a huge custody fight for him...something our mom wanted so he could stay with our family.
I'm trying to get back to my life, I had put it on hold for most of my mom's sickness. I was with her in Nova Scotia when she died and my husband was home in Calgary.
I try to understand why I was left alone with her with two small children, my son was just under two when she passed. I had no help and well when I hear someone died or is dying of cancer, my heart aches for them and to know that I had no help while my mom was sick makes me so angry, but at the same time I'm lucky cause i got to spend so much time with her alone and it was wonderful.
I miss my mom very much and ache till the day I can see her again.

Family too

mama2bna — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 10:47:02 -0600

I left a very successful theatre career to focus on family after 9/11. My stepfather(I am 33, he came into the picture when I was 11)who is also in the theatre business, let me know recently that he no longer thinks we have anything in common. He has yet to meet my second daughter who is 7 months old. My sister told me I know longer "have an interest" in her life. I think people without children, or with older children, can become jealous of the focus, passion and fulfillment of parents of young children. I think it is compounded when you manage to do it without extinguishing the flame you have with your partner. I am just trying to keep my eye on the ball and embracing those who will let me.

I have two close

sweetnicole — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 08:58:52 -0600

I have two close girlfriends, and we're at a place where we are all starting to think about family in a "oh this is coming up soon" sort of way (two of us are engaged, I'm getting married in three weeks). I would love to say that getting married, moving to different states, and having babies isn't going to break our friendship up, but it is something I'm honestly concerned about. I keep wondering if there is something proactive to do so we can stay close, because I'm sure that a lot of broken up friends were BFF at one point.

"We have to remember that we're connected to people we don't even know."
Sweet Nicole

We were one of the first to get married and one of the first to

Crunchy Carpets — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 13:44:02 -0600

have kids in our group.

We had to fight the urge to justify our choices and also the feeling that because of the choices WE made, we were making judgements about others who made other choices.

I had to give up the idea that I had to explain why I was happy being at home with my kids. Why we didn't spend money on holidays or fancy gadgets.

I fought the urge to prove to my single and childless friends that I was the same person. Because really, I wasn't. And neither was my spouse. We had changed. Having kids changed us. We had different priorities and had discovered that since having kids, Americas Funniest Videos was actually funny. That show is totally for the sleep deprived poop covered people of the world.

I tend to gravitate towards mom stuff because that is who I have things in common with. I worry that people without kids will be yawning at hearing about my dull day.

But we are still friends with people of varying lifestyles because thankgoodness they do know that we are still somewhat human and do share the same interests.

And there is the other side

biggirlblue — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 12:45:40 -0600

And there is the other side of the coin. I get told how worthwhile and good my life would be if I only had some children. Like my life is somehow worthless because I don't. That hurts.

Pretty much all my friends have kids. I can't imagine breaking up with them because they have kids. I know sometimes I'd like to go Alley McBeal on them but I love them and their kids.

I also see them a lot less because they just don't have the time they use to. Do I miss them? Yes. Do I wish they had more time for me? Yes. But I accept that things don't stay the same forever. That's part of growing up. Making allowances for the changes in our lives and our friends.

Sorry, went on a ramble.

Moe
BigGirlBlue
Large & Lovely

"Women are going to form a chain, a greater sisterhood than the world has ever known." ~Nellie McClung, 1916

The more I think about the conversation...

Mary Tsao — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 11:40:40 -0600

...the more I realize that it's very easy to inadvertently step on a person's toes, metaphorically speaking.

I recently bought a conversation cube, which is a box that contains conversation ideas/topics. I'm going to try and remember the ideas next time I'm at a cocktail party or in a situation where I'm conversing with friends or acquaintances outside my typical milieu.

A more general question such as "Have you made any New Year's resolutions?" is probably a safer bet than asking a woman about her lifestyle choices.

Mary
BlogHer Contributing Editor, Mommy & Family
Mom Writes

sometimes the non-moms are jealous

SaraSP — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 11:26:43 -0600

Great topic.

Lately, since trying to conceive my first child, I have become aware of a variant of this phenomenon --- when one friend has trouble getting pregnant and the other has (or has had)no difficulty at all. Just like it is hard to be friends with someone with far more money than you, it can be hard to hear about the daily activities of a mom when you would kill to do those things. The worst is when moms complain about their daily hassles and label the non-mom "lucky." It is all a matter of perspective.

Differences in lifestyle will always create potential rifts between friends, but true investment in a friendship will transcend any judgement, jealousy or egocentrism.

BTW - I would love to "waste my life" as some might word it.

You are right in your assumption

Jennifer Satterwhite — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 08:38:47 -0600

Liz, you are right that most singles ask out of couriosity. However, sadly, there are some who ask in a way that says, "So sad you wasted your life." Those are the ones that get under my skin. But that is a few. But those few are jaw-droppers that make me crazy! :-)

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee | Mommybloggers
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family

Questioning Moms

Liz Rizzo — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 00:21:34 -0600

You know, I think single women ask those questions because they honestly have no idea and are genuinely curious. Call me innocent, but do you honestly feel that you have to explain that being a mom is "worthwhile and good"?

Guess my default is to think that of course you've got the life you want. Otherwise, you'd be doing something different.

I know that's a bit of a sweeping statement, and some people are petty and nasty when they ask this or that, but I bet most singles are just curious and making conversation. :)

Liz Rizzo

Everyday Goddess

SexySmart Blog

You know......I LOVED SS as a kid..but now...

Crunchy Carpets — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 15:55:47 -0500

I think it is a pale shadow compared to what we were watching in the 70's.

My kids don't even really like it, except for that damn Elmos World.

they release an old school dvd

youngmother — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 15:05:20 -0500

hey sesame street lovers..

me love this new dvd.. its so funny..

no really, me and my family enjoyed watching all the old episodes..you should take a look, itÂ´s just so great to see this again.

the link is

OLD School Sesame Street

Me too!

Amy in San Diego — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 19:10:37 -0500

Ya know when I was still using, I would go to PTA meetings or Basketball games at the Rec Center and I used to think, "hmm, I wonder if I raised my hand if anyone would know where to hook me up"

I am clean, you would never know it looking at me and I just sat there and read your story , well, about..me!

And ya, I do tell others, I feel like you, I could possibly make a difference in someone elses life.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Amy
MomsthatRock
(its not done, I am just learning how to do all that NOW)

I alway think it's strange

mamaholler — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 22:43:11 -0500

I alway think it's strange that mommy bloggers are so frowned apon. I've heard things like "children are not my life." Of course, they're not my entire life either, but they're a huge part of it and I choose to write about them here. I'll do what I do otherwise, but I'll sort my thoughts about my kids out on this screen and will be so interested to read what everyone else is doing as well.

Also, I ache for one of those backyards.

I'm so glad you posted about that

Daring Young Mom — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 22:13:01 -0500

Jen,
I'm so glad you posted this. I was actually going to ask you guys to have her guest post on mommybloggers. She's amazing.

Nate,

Jennifer Satterwhite — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 18:10:11 -0500

Nate,

I really appreciate the comment you made and loved being able to share it. You are more than welcome to comment here anytime. Especially with comments like the one above. Thanks for your support of BlogHer and of women bloggers in general.

~Jenn~
Mommy Needs Coffee | Mommybloggers | Aggroqueen
BlogHerContributing Editor, Mommy and Family