BlogHer - BlogHer Mommy & Family - Comments

Well, we are gestating number three....

Crunchy Carpets — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 14:53:03 -0600

and even as haggard as I look and the age that I am....people now think I am terrible for having three and need to have one more!

I am an only though and was perfectly happy.
I do love having two kids ...they are fun to watch.

I envy them the bond.

We just knew that we weren't done at two.....so here we are

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

to breed or not. lol

jennster — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:50:23 -0600

http://jennnster.blogspot.com/2006/07/to-breed-or-not-to-breed.html

that's where i talk about boyfriend and my debate on whether or not we should have more kids..... but then this post AS OF YESTERDAY is my decision. lol

http://jennnster.blogspot.com/2007/11/bawling-like-baby.html

Thank you for this initiative!

Daring Young Mom — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 13:04:30 -0500

My post is up, a little late due to publishing deadlines. I wanted my 3 part series to be live on Parenting.com before I posted the call to action. I am so glad we've chosen to support this and believe so much good will come of this.

BlogHersAct for the mothers

JCK — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 14:29:03 -0500

I hope there are many women out there blogging for this today. I have and am happy to support this act. Here is my link on my Motherscribe blog: http://motherscribe.blogspot.com/2007/10/bloghersact-for-mothers.html

Jennifer

Why Loving Our Bodies Matters

KarlyP — Mon, 08 Oct 2007 01:02:47 -0500

The fact that women are so hard on their bodies, and that the inherent miracle of a woman's body---its ability to grow and nurture a new life---is denigrated by society brings me to tears. It brings me to tears, brings me to anger, and brings me to action. It brings me to my life purpose, which is helping women love and accept their bodies, and themselves.

I believe that learning to love and accept our bodies is one of the greatest issues facing women today: I have yet to meet a woman who is unaffected by body image "stuff." And while body bashing manifests as a physical issue, I believe that it is, at its core, a spiritual one: a drive for perfection, rooted in a fear of unworthiness. Bashing our bodies for being imperfect -- fat, flabby, wrinkled, grey, stretch marked -- isn't really about our bodies. We see ourselves as imperfect, and therefore, unacceptable. Our bodies, because they're the part of ourselves that is most visible to the world, are simply the most convenient scapegoat: the outer target of our inner critic.

My husband, playing devil's advocate, asked me an interesting question the other day: Who cares if women love their bodies? Why does it matter? Granted, this comes from a person who has never struggled with food or body issues, and as a man, his body hasn't endured the scrutiny of my own. But his question is a good one: Why does it matter?

Here's why it matters: Body hatred affects everyone around us, not just ourselves. It trickles down in insidious ways: seven year old girls who think they need to lose weight, or teens whose focus is not on figuring out what they want to do with their lives, but rather on how they can emulate the latest celebrity. Yes, those are direct consequences of our collective body bashing. Every 3rd grader on a diet? That's my fault, and yours.

But body hatred also trickles down like this: You're bitchy and irritable (often because you're on a diet, and hungry) or you're sad and depressed (your self esteem is shot since you gained fifteen pounds) so you snap at your daughter, overreacting. Or you gossip about your thin, beautiful neighbor, because you're jealous of her ease with her body. Or you refrain from going to a job interview because you're scared: you don't feel confident enough in your appearance to go.

Body bashing keeps us stuck. It keeps us anxious, and unconfident, believing we're never good enough. It keeps us stressed, where everything is a possible trigger: magazines, TV shows, parties, holidays, family get-togethers. We exhaust ourselves with comparisons: comparing our bodies to other women's'; comparing our bodies to our own (If only I could look like I did ten years/twenty pounds ago.)

Loving our bodies matters because we can't hate our bodies and love ourselves. We are holistic creatures. We are comprised of body, mind, and spirit. They are not as separate as we might think: what we think about one part of ourselves seeps into the others.

But, even more importantly, here's why body acceptance matters: I can't be the woman, mother, wife, daughter, friend, or person I wish to be if I am consumed with thoughts about my body. You can't be the woman, mother, wife, daughter, friend, or person you wish to be if you are consumed with thoughts about your body. Multiply this factor by the millions of women who dislike their bodies---and according to recent surveys by Dove, it's nearly all of us---and what do you have? Generations of women who are trapped; their dreams, passions and deepest desires on hold; women who are unable to offer their talents to a world that needs their help.

Ladies, the world needs our healing. If you think the world would be a better place if more women ran it, think about how we could run it if we devoted all the time, energy, and money we devote towards fixing our bodies into fixing the world.

I remember my personal epiphany: I had just turned 30, and realized that I had spent the last decade trying to regain the super-skinny body I had as a bulimic 19 year old. I thought that if only I ate really, really healthy food, I could have that skinny body again. Nope. The only way I could be that skinny again was if I starved myself, which I wasn't willing to do.

So I surrendered. I released my body war. I prayed and asked God to remove my desire to be skinny. And I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed. My transformation didn't occur overnight. Like everyone, I am a work in progress. But that step was the first in reclaiming my life: releasing the shackles that kept me trapped, imprisoned by the false belief that life would begin once I finally lost ten pounds.

Now I am free and clear to do the work that I was born to do: encouraging women. I am free and clear to connect with women, my children, my family and with the world. I am free and clear to dive into myself, to be the best me that I can be, without fear; to love and accept all parts of myself, without judgment.

Learning to love our bodies is serious business. Its effects are profound, and far reaching. It may be some of the most important work that you do. It is some of the most important work that I have done.

Love your body; change your life. Love your body; change the world.

Love your body: it matters.

Karly Randolph Pitman
karlyp@firstourselves.com
www.firstourselves.com

October 24th

katstone — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 12:43:53 -0500

Thanks for your kind words Lisa! I was hoping more BlogHers would have signed on to join our "Take Action for the MOTHERS Act!" so far, but perhaps they're just still reading their email!! :>) Ladies, I do hope you'll join us. This is something you can do to truly impact how new mothers are cared for!

Katherine Stone
Postpartum Progress

We'll Add Something

JennaHatfield — Sat, 29 Sep 2007 09:58:57 -0500

While I do not have a specific experience with PPD, all three blogs will mention the topic on October 24th. Unfortunately, for mothers who place their children for adoption, the issue of post-partum mood disorders is either blatantly ignored or masked by the expected emotions of grief and loss. On the other side, we've had mother-friends who have battled silently, too afraid to speak up for fear of people thinking they were a bad parent.

And so, all three of our blogs (linked below) will have something to say on the matter on October 24th. (Unless October 24th is the end date and then maybe we should do it before? Can someone let me know? I want to be sure we hit this right.)

That said, for any mothers of the Christian faith that want an uplifting but dramatic read about PPD, pick up "Why I Jumped" by Tina Zahn. I just read it two weeks ago and while it was difficult to hear the amount of turmoil this mother had been through, it was an amazing read.

Family Living; Hatfield Style
Birth/First Parent Blog
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

Yes, Lovebabz, we do indeed have an audience too...

Lisa Stone — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:18:06 -0500

...you make a great point. I love the suggestionjaycee has above...

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Thanks Morra! :)

Lisa Stone — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:15:02 -0500

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

WOOT Erin! So far it looks like you have 125 of 126 comments...

Lisa Stone — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 15:14:31 -0500

in your favor, in this beautifully written post. Rock on!

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Lisa, you made me feel sympathy for Britney

Morra Aarons Mele — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:24:44 -0500

that's a feat! Awesome post. I'm fired up.

Bill Maher is an ass@@3$45%^

Lovebabz — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 19:37:54 -0500

Sisters
Listen, I am all for challenging the status quo. But there are some folks that are beyond the help needed to get them functioning in the world. What he says is not so important. Yes it is insulting and stupid; the real deal is what we know to be true. And yes he has an audience; but I say we have an audience too. and I believe there are more breastfeeding mamas in the world than not. Later for him and those that think he is witty. What your breast produces is more prescious than any mineral mined by mindless men. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

Love,
Babz
www.lovebabz.blogspot.com
my journey. my life.

let's try that link again

Erin Kotecki Vest — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 18:58:14 -0500

Hmm, try this

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-kotecki-vest/bill-maher-can-suck-my-t...

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain

You Rock!!!

ExpectingExecutive — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 12:51:58 -0500

Oh Erin!!! You are such an inspiration.

I saw your post on HuffPo this morning and commented over there. Great post!!!

You have my support!

Erin
ExpectingExecutive
In order to change your life, you must first change your life.

I could use some BlogHer support!

Erin Kotecki Vest — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 09:50:27 -0500

I took on Bill Maher last night.

Piece on Bill Maherl

Politics & News Contributing Editor
Queen of Spain