BlogHer - AlAnon - Comments

recovery

christinajeanne — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 18:55:55 -0600

I think you have a great attitude. You are not alone. I'm going through the same thing. My fiance has addictions too. Going to al-anon is a great idea.

christina

Recovery from the other side.

Morgan12 — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 09:19:38 -0500

I'm new here and did a search for alcoholism blogs and came upon yours. It is really hard to read the view from the 'other side'. The stories sound similar. My poor husband was stunned, hurt and numb the day I admitted my drinking to him. At 55 I had a successful 35 year marraige, had raised 2 great kids to adulthood and taught special ed for 30 years. Never a drinking problem, too busy and happy and broke to even buy booze. Then had gastric bypass surgery and switched one addiction (food) for another (wine). After all, an addict is an addict no matter what the substance. I will never forget the pain in Jim's face the morning I sat him down and told him I was in trouble. Of all the consequences of my drinking the very worst has to be the lost of my husbands ability to trust anything I say or do. (although this is slowly returning after a year of sobriety) Hardest for him was wanting to be able to "fix" it when the only person able to fix it was me. I did the hard work in rehab but he did alot more to fix it than he'll ever know. He stood by me, admitted me into detox and rehab (more than once) and provided a soft place for me to land when my world spirraled down around me. He never 'enabled' me but the minute I came to him for help and support he was there to prop me up. Another way your story sounded familiar is that I have dealt with severe depression and am on several meds for it. Without controlling the depression chance are really slim I could stay sober. Then once you pcik up again because you are down you start that downhill spiral as the booxe is actually a depressant and fights against the effects of the antidepressants.

I guess you were wanting to hear from others on your side of the equation, but I thought you might like to hear a voice from the other side.

Just always remember that any lying, sneaking, or other behaviors are really the disease speaking - not the man you have loved all these years. He hate the disease and its manifestations even more than you do.\

How can such powerful words

Alanna Kellogg — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 06:59:46 -0500

How can such powerful words be described as 'lovely'? They are, despite expressing so much that's decidedly not. Be well ... both of you.

Alanna Kellogg
Kitchen Parade &
A Veggie Venture

I'm lucky too.

alyssaroyse — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:46:41 -0500

Thanks so much. It's insanely hard, I feel like I've been swimming in jell-o. But, no matter what happens here, we're both learning sooooo much about each other and ourselves and this. I really hope to help remove shame from the process for people by being open and honest.... thank you so much, i really appreciate you're following us and commenting!

Off The Rocks

____________

Alyssa Royse

Just Cause It: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A Blog for Women Entrepreneurs

I've been following your

Pamela Sansour — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 11:18:14 -0500

I've been following your blog though this is the first time I've commented. I think what you're doing is brave. I think it is strong. I think it is courageous. I think your husband is a lucky man. ~MoM

AL-ANON

Laracolvin — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 09:05:44 -0500

I understand the fear thing mightily- yes I do. If you are headed to San Francisco this year and want to duck out to find an AL-ANON meeting, send me an email.

You aren't alone.

The darkness does lighten.

Your courage is a beautiful thing.

Lara

Notions of Identity

Off The Rocks, Neatly

alyssaroyse — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:25:31 -0500

If you want to follow the dialog and process of our recovery, we are both blogging daily about it at Off The Rocks.

My post titles all start with "She Said." My husbands all start with "He Said."

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneurs

Thanks!

alyssaroyse — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:36:15 -0500

And extra thanks for featuring it as "love!" That made me cry, because that, indeed, is what this is!

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneurs

Bravo Alyssa

Lisa Stone — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 13:03:54 -0500

I've featured your beautiful, sharing post on the BlogHer homepage. Under "Love". :)

Lisa Stone
BlogHer Co-founder
Surfette

Thanks, Now He's Speaking Too

alyssaroyse — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 12:28:42 -0500

For someone who writes for a living, I had an extremely hard time writing this post. Thank you so much for your kind replies, I feel better already. I have felt so alone and in such a dark place, and now, needless to say, i feel tons better.

Today, my husband posted a piece of writing that made me cry. He blows my mind, he really is amazing, which is part of the heartbreak. Seeing someone so phenomenal be so shattered. I am really becoming proud of and attached to what I think this blog can be for anyone going through recovery. Please help us spread the word, and we will continue to share openly and honestly, good and bad, to help others feel less alone.....

___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE: A Web Site To Save The World

Start Her Up: A blog for Women Entrepreneurs

Been there...

a2lisa — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 09:15:32 -0500

A little over one year ago, I watched my boyfriend get handcuffed in his driveway and hauled away for a DUI. That evening, I went to my first Al-Anon meeting.

It was comforting to be with people who knew what I was going through. They weren't going to be freaked out by my story. They only nodded and offered comfort. And tissues. They also didn't say things like, ohmygosh...why do you want to stay with him? Couldn't you do better? They just let me be me.

I'm sending good wishes to you over the interwebs... :-)

Lisa, blogging at mittenmusings

Opening the closet doors of our lives

rebellious thinker — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 07:49:30 -0500

From the depth of my heart to yours: may you continue to feel love and loved, in all phases of your journey.

While my battles are different than yours, I have found that opening up--to myself and others--has been a great soother. I am continually amazed at how much we keep to ourselves, and if we would only open up to each other we would see that we are not alone. We are not alone.

Laura, opening the door at www.rebelliousthoughtsofawoman.com.

No Mam, You Are Not Alone

Gena Haskett — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 23:11:30 -0500

Sometime you have to be placed in a position where you can't ignore the problem. Choice has nothing to do with it. I hate when that happens but on the other side of the journey (and you'll have to believe that there is indeed the other side) there is peace.

Healing. Balance. Adjustments completed.

Honor your spirit however you define it. Keep up the nutrition. Find something to laugh at or let it bring you joy.
You will need. Don't be afraid to ask.

This too will pass. Get to stepping.

Gena - Out On The Stoop

Very Brave

Anyabeth — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 22:26:56 -0500

I really admire your clarity on this so quickly. It is brave to accept that your life is different and move from there. I hope that you and your husband find your way soon.

You're an amazing person...

Jenny74 — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 21:58:55 -0500

No...I haven't been through something like this. I battled depression earlier this year culminating from the worst past year of my life, and I went to my dr. and went on meds. That's about as close as I get to something of this magnitude.

But what I wanted to make sure you knew was that whether or not someone else has gone through this same situation, you are not alone. We are all battling something, getting through something, taking each day at a time.

And this post was so brave and commendable.

You will be in my thoughts, and I wish you the best of luck.

Jenny