BlogHer - Writing - Comments

Writing sex scenes is all

Gwendolyn Hudson — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:16:53 -0600

Writing sex scenes is all that easy--they seem to fall in the etheral "floating away on a cloud of esctasy" to odd descriptions for genetalia (see first entry) or the mechanical a goes into b which sometimes have all the clarity of Ikea directions for putting together your new bookcase.

I think--as a writer--that sex and what and who and how a character deals with sex is a major part of who he or she is.

so is what they eat. But only occasionally is it necessary to desrible each forkful.

But I love these awards--it's always niece to know in that schadenfreude way that even the best have their moments and that its human to be confused and embarressed and over the top sex/sexuality

Gwendolyn Hudson Lauterbach http://barefootontheground.blogspot.com/

SEX

millytant — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:25:11 -0600

Actions speak louder than words . . . .

Bad Sex Written

Gwendolyn Hudson — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:09:51 -0600

I think I violated something in my comment. Will rewrite

Gwendolyn Hudson Lauterbach http://barefootontheground.blogspot.com/

AOL chat rooms

girlishstuff — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 16:54:55 -0600

hahaha I totally agree! :)

I blog at Girlish Stuff

hehehe

Bill Cammack — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:43:59 -0600

Yes Ma'am, haha The AOL chat rooms DEFINITELY served their purpose! ;)

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

I think there is a place for

avflox — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 11:33:49 -0600

I think there is a place for everything. I am just now working on a pretty emotionally intense sex scene and I have to say it's still very much the same thing--word choice and an understanding of how the characters would behave toward each other.

Speaking of AOL chatrooms--that's what I first did when I got on the web at 13! Cybering hard in the chatrooms and boards! I always tell myself I could have grown up to be a real geek had I not gotten so much play in the chat rooms. Then again, it seems to have served some purpose, hasn't it?

AV Flox is the editor of Sex and the 405--what your newspaper would look like if it had a sex section.

Great Tips!

Bill Cammack — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:39:05 -0600

Great tips, AV, haha..

I learned to "write sex" in AOL chat rooms, so my style's built for personal physical effect and not flowery novel-writing. :) Having said that, I also "write intimacy" and "write togetherness" and "write inspired introspection" which is more along the lines of what you wrote about in this article.

I actually find inspiration to be way more sensual to write about than physicality. I find it way more unique that a gal moves me mentally or emotionally than when a gal turns me on. For me, it tends to catalyze a much richer experience for contemplating and expressing to others.

~ Bill
I blog at billcammack.com

Poor baby

lynngre — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 09:35:35 -0600

The image of her being carried into a hotel lift by that sicko is so sad. If only someone knew what she was about to go through. It's not about race. This happens in all areas of society. Poor angel. RIP.

Lynn

swedafrican.wordpress.com

Thank you Nordette

Erin Kotecki Vest — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:41:44 -0600

Taking a look now

Politics & News Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest

Helping or Joining CASA is one way to help

Nordette — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:40:22 -0600

Erin, many cities have CASA programs, Court Appointed Special Advocates for children. One way to help is to become a CASA.

CASA is the only volunteer organization that empowers everyday citizens as officers of the court. In an overburdened social welfare system, abused and neglected children often slip through the cracks among hundreds of current cases. CASA volunteers change that. Appointed by judges, CASA volunteers typically handle just one case at a time—and commit to staying on that case until the child is placed in a safe, permanent home. While others may come and go, CASA volunteers provide that one constant that children need in order to thrive. (website)

If you don't have the time for such a commitment, you can always donate money to program. When the commercials run down here, I think I should do it, but I may have to stick to donations until I have the time and clear head to do more.

Nordette Adams is a BlogHer CE & you can find her other stuff through Her 411.

I don't know how to help

Erin Kotecki Vest — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:26:06 -0600

We need to do this. We need to do that. We need. We need.

But HOW?

I need to know HOW.

Politics & News Contributing Editor Erin Kotecki Vest

LOOK IT AIN'T ABOUT ME... AND IT IS....

Lovebabz — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:17:03 -0600

I've done a lot of good in my life...and I've done some fucked up shit. But I NEVER HURT A KID. Thank you all for thinking anything I had to say on this ugly soul-breaking stuff has value and merrit. I love being a mother...it is redeeming to me. It is healing and uplifting.

There are moments in all our lives that we must answer the call of our time. Children need to be protected. If they (our children) survive the ordeal of being sold into sexual slavery, they will need loving people to help give themselves back to themselves. That is the hardest work. There is not a day goes by that I do not have some memory. I carry weight on my body because to be smaller is to be 9 again and I am not ready to release or make enough peace to lose the weight.

I am not brave, nor courageous...I am tired of these stories that drag me back to a time when fear, pain and uncertainty was my life.

Let us all collectively pray that no more children suffer, then lets all get off our asses and do something...write a check...volunteer and YES adopt our broken, abused and abandoned children.

I may not be the mother my kids deserve, but I am the one who loves them with my life.

Be loving & Be in LOVE

LoveBabz

Denise — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:52:51 -0600

I have so much respect for your honesty and for your willingness to share such personal details about your life. We need more women like you, brave women who can stand up and say this happened to me and here's how I've moved on to be who I am.

Thank you.

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

Thank You So Much For Your Honesty

Megan Smith — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:14:44 -0600

Hi Lovebabz,

Thank you so much for your honesty. It was very courageous of you to talk about what happened to you as a child.

You're an amazing woman and your children are very lucky to have you as a mom and a role model.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

My Personal Entertainment Blog: Megan's Minute

My Review Blog: Meg's Rad Reviews

Twitter:@MeganSmith

Listening to Sapphire's book in iTunes

Bailey Alexander — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:44:52 -0600

I'm spending a couple of months aboard our saiboat in northern Italy so I decided to buy the book, turn out all the lights and let her words just wash over me for hours. It was intense but at the end, I was surprised by how much the other students' stories moved me, that was a clever, effective device. Allowing them to compare their pain, own their own story, move on independently.

I sat on a non-profit board in Seattle to help eliminate domestic violence. The issue is everywhere, I've heard it expressed in various languages in several countries, over the fence, walking by an apartment, in different modes of conflict and danger.

I certainly don't equate incest and rape with a color, community, let alone a country. Look at what we do every time we start a war, the first ones to suffer are the children that are raped.

This novel was something else though wasn't it, centered and more effective maybe because the community was known rather than any city, usa.

It was a brilliant use of language, really, in listening to Precious embrace the world thru gradual understanding of a language.

Prior to learning French and Italian, I lived in Rome and Paris so I was illiterate by choice, feeling vulnerable, even if only on the most superficial level, but it was valid. Speaking from somone that understands the power of her own language, the ability to control it, manipulate it, own it, I'm empathetic at the very least, on that level.

I'm not sure that anyone other than a performance poet like Sapphire could have told the story in such an effective manner, with that motive and that result. But I'm so grateful Sapphire went so dark and stayed so honest, if only so the light at the end of the tunnel could feel that much more worth the trouble of traveling towards......