BlogHer - car line - Comments

Most of us could use some anger management

Nordette — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 14:38:45 -0500

I think that most everyone needs therapy, which is similar to your site title. In fact, I believe people who are adamantly agains ttherapy and talking through problems with professionals are cowards. They're afraid to see themselves and also afraid to learn the truth about their own psyches.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Read it. Thanks. :-)

Nordette — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 14:36:26 -0500

Thank you, Candelaria, for letting me know. I hope others drop by and join the discussion. I left a comment for you on your post there. I'm not sure "Why are we so angry?" is the question as much as "Why don't we work to reolve our inner anger issues more?"

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Sanp, Crackle, Pop

Candelaria Silva — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 07:31:35 -0500

Hi, Nordette,

I've uploaded my post, Snap, Crackle, Pop about black women and anger. Please let me know what you think.

Candelaria

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

Anger Management, and Amends

Therapy Doc — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:17:00 -0500

It's pretty scary when the police (we raise our kids to think they're our friends) are waving weapons at a school. And it's traumatizing for everyone. This one screams public apology.

therapydoc

at EveryoneNeedsTherapy

That's Just Scary..

jesskirk — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:00:10 -0500

Of all people who should know how to handle themselves...!! She doesn't deserve to hold the badge anymore. She should be fixing problems like that, not causing them.

Jess

<a href="http://justsugarnspice.blogspot.com">Sugar 'N Spice</a>

Wow, what a crazy situation.

Summerm — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 19:11:14 -0500

Wow, what a crazy situation. I hope Officer Terry does get some kind of help, she obviously needs it.

Summer

http://wiredfornoise.com

Drop by with those anger links, please

Nordette — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:02:22 -0500

Hi, Candelaria. I know when I was younger I had a temper to tame. I've mellowed with age but also with introspection.

I hope you'll drop by again and leave the link to your piece on young women who are quick to anger, and please let me know if you write that post on not sweating the small stuff. Everyday I run into people having fits about stuff that's barely a grain of sand in the big scheme of things.

Thank you.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Rage

Candelaria Silva — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:23:42 -0500

There are a lot of people walking around with anger and uncontrolled tempers. When those people are also police officers, it gets very scary. Living in Boston, I have seen people say and do some crazy things in traffic or to beat each other to the next red light.

I mostly use public transporation now and even there - I have my radar on: is that group of teens just being annoyingly loud or are they getting ready to start some drama; is that gentleman talking to someone on a cellphone ear-thingee or hearing voices; did that woman not appreciate my looking at her child?

Wow! Once we walk out the door, we really don't know what we'll land in. I tend to plan when to be out of the house and when not to be and I'm always surveying the terrain 'cause you just don't know what can set some one off.

I'm working on a blog piece about how to keep small things small. I also wrote a piece on how quickly some young women I've observed, go to anger. They go from 0 to 100 in no time flat!

Peace.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

Scary situations for you, Jill

Nordette — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 09:48:41 -0500

Jill, you've had some traumatic experiences related to violence. I'm glad you're safe now and such a strong person.

Wouldn't you think she'd be trained in how to handle exactly these situations in a non-violent or threatening way?

She probably was trained for stressful situations, but it seems she has some personal problems that training just won't solve. I'm wondering how she passed the psychological to get on the force, assuming they still give those.

Until moving back home, I'd been living in suburbs with highly organized school volunteers, so I didn't experience rude drivers just long waits. However, while covering education in New Jersey, school parking lot issues and traffic troubles around schools seemed to be on the agenda regularly. Police would sit at one school just to make their ticket quota. :-)

Rude drivers throw me off in regular driving, however. There are people who get enraged over something as simple as you switched lanes even if you've used your signals early enough and done everything properly. I think some drivers blame the other driver for startling them instead of owning that they should pay attention while driving. I've noticed the ones who get the angriest were speeding already generally.

Thank you for commenting and for sharing your experiences. That man at the car would've unnerved me for days and the mugging for far longer.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Thank you

Jill Miller Zimon — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:40:50 -0500

Thanks so much for posting this, Nordette.

I wait in my share of lines ot pick up kids and it is amazing how rude some drivers can be and how oblivious but there is no expectation and never a need to do what this law enforcement person, of all people did. Wouldn't you think she'd be trained in how to handle exactly these situations in a non-violent or threatening way?

But what I also wanted to share is that I was once sitting at a stop light in a line of cars. I'd switched from one lane to another and the car that was behind me once I was in the lane, waiting for the light to change, didn't like me getting in front of him.

I'm sitting there with the radio on and the next thing I know there is a VERY angry man screaming obscenities at me and pounding on my window - then spitting on it - twice - while he calls me and f-ing whore and kicks my car door with his feet.

Finally the light changes and I pull away - but I was absolutely as scared as I've ever been - having been mugged in NYC by five people, I've had a little experience with that kind of personal fear ;)

And the first thing I thought of, as I drove away? What if he'd had a gun? What if I had had a gun? Would I have been able to declare self-defense? Will others now?

Anyway - just saying - that is horribly terrifying case in NOLA and just think of the kids who would have seen it. Ugh.

Again - thanks for writing this.

Jill
Writes Like She Talks

No argument here. She's got to go.

Nordette — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 10:38:46 -0500

Terry shouldn't be on the NOPD.

My suggestion that a mental disorder may be the root cause of Terry's problems in no way means I think she should keep her job as a police officer. I think she should get help and find another line of work. She shouldn't be on the street with a gun, and I hope she's not allowed to have a gun as a civilian.

Nevertheless, I try to show people some compassion, especially down here where we're experiencing a mental health care crisis. People are not getting the help they need because they don't know about help, are afraid to get help, or just don't have the money to get help. In addition, we don't have enough mental health resources since Hurricane Katrina.

I'm sure as a police officer Terry has access to mental health services, but she'll lose those benefits once she's off the force. I hope she'll get help, but I'm sure she'll find it easier to get a gun in Louisiana than it is to get mental health care, especially after she loses her job and health insurance.

But nobody in his/her right mind would want Terry to remain on the force. Chief Riley made the right call by suspending her and he made the right call again when he suspended the officer who backed up Terry's behavior.

Nordette is a Contributing Editor with BlogHer.com whose personal blog is hosted on another site at this link.

Don't sugar coat it.

Bridget Magnus — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 22:48:38 -0500

"Yet, there's no acceptable excuse for what Officer Terry did, possibly a reason such as a mental disorder of some type, but no excuse."

Any possible "excuse" for her behavior is also a reason to take her badge and gun. The last thing any community in our nation -- no wait, our world -- needs is a police officer who thinks this is acceptable behavior.

Kudos to the superiors who suspended her pending investigation. If this is really what happened, she needs to be kicked off the force.