BlogHer - work life balance - Comments

What works for me.

Happy2008 — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 07:32:44 -0500

I have a very busy schedule balancing work, kids, household and freelance work.

What it works for me is to create a schedule and a to-do list for each area in my life and work at one list at a time ticking the tasks off.

1) Work (Teaching)

2) Children/family

3) Household chores

4) Freelance writing/webdesigning

Dominique

Elementary teacher, mom to two boys, freelance writer and parentpreneur

www.dominiquegoh.com

www.savyhipparentpreneur.com

Knowing when to move on

Candelaria Silva — Sat, 02 May 2009 22:23:15 -0500

is important. Deciding to move on for yourself and making the decision to enjoy your life in a more personal way especially after you've been of service requires internal fortitude and self-love and self-preservation. I've witnessed to many people who didn't take the time to seek work-life balance and ended up getting sick and having time off imposed but they weren't healthy enough to enjoy it. Some people worked in high pressure jobs (some prestigious, some not) until they died. Bravo to anyone who makes the decision to seek balance and enjoy the pleasures that are available to us by being alive.

blog.candelariasilva.com

examiner.com/x-2478-Boston-Domestic-Issues_Examiner

Good and plenty!

It says much...

nelle2nelle — Sat, 02 May 2009 10:31:00 -0500

Souter never did care for the great impact this position had upon his life, but as I said yesterday, even though his legal ability is excellent, his greatest act was waiting for a chance to leave and keep the court from shifting further right.

Think of the individual freedom that he worked to protect through this simple act.

When people were pissed about the eminent domain ruling some wished to take his land in Weare on principle, but... they missed what the Court was saying, which was essentially 'go forth and fix this hole in the law'.

The pull to a quieter place can be powerful, and I thank him for his service and for his choices.

llhaesa

It's just as terrible.

lauriewrites — Sat, 02 May 2009 10:07:12 -0500

Speaking from the ridiculed section... ;) Hating your job or where you live or what you have to do when you don't have a partner or children is just as difficult.

And I don't know Souter's situation with extended family and/or friends, but there are plenty of us out here in single situations who have family responsibilities and tight, interdependent relationships with friends who depend on us for more than wine bars and the like. The aging population and shift to parental caregiving is changing the game for millions of people.

I in no way devalue parenting and partnering responsibilities (IN NO WAY. In fact, I'm very supportive of what people need to do, no matter what, as much as that may matter or not.) But the repeated cultural/media set-up that it's the normal construct for all human beings and whomever falls outside those lines is somehow subject to different or lesser rules of engagement with everyday life is so flawed I don't even know where to begin to discuss it most of the time.

Thanks, Morra. I totally support Justice Souter in his desire to stop doing what he's doing and go home, no matter what his reasons are. ;) I don't even care if he has a pet, seriously. He doesn't have to validate his existence to me.(And I'd like to hear from more men, too...would be interesting.)

Laurie

LaurieWrites

As much as I love my job I'm

WilliamTaylor — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:15:36 -0600

As much as I love my job I'm still getting the week off this christmas up to New year because its the only time of the year that I can spend time with my family and relatives.

Bill from Austin Divorce Help

What about this year?

Elana Centor — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 06:41:16 -0600

Now that you are on your own, are you taking a break, getting organized, or treating it as work as usual?

elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness

Freelance changes things

BarbD — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 05:34:09 -0600

I spent 33 years in corporate America, taking advantage of an early retirement program to leave earlier this year and strike out on my own.

My attitudes about work have been evolving ever since. There's a lot of freedom (and new responsibilities, and lessons in self-discipline) in becoming your own employer. It becomes about getting the work done -- not being there whether there's work to do or not. I get to determine my own time off.

Prior to being self-employed, I used to occasionally work during what was at my company, the lost two weeks of the year. It was a good time to get things organized while there was a lull.

But more often, it was time I saved up so I could have a good, long break from the regular routine. It was hard within my corporate culture (and perhaps, in American business culture in general) to take longer than a week off work. The only guilt-free period was those last two weeks of the year...

The balance thing

RachelElliott — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 16:22:41 -0600

Morra - Thanks so much for posting your thoughts and recent discoveries. I have recently returned to work after several years at home raising young ones. Many of the issues you mention are ones that I have experienced. For example, grappling with the term work life balance, which I agree may not be received as well by employers. I am in a supportive environment regarding working at home, but I can tell that presence in the office is essential. Alternate groups online provide me with support and insights, like your blog, a women mentoring (www.w2wlink.com) group, and a local child-focused playgroup, so that I feel less compelled to seek comaraderie with coworkers who are at different stages in their lives. I believe that you will make it work for you, and along the way enjoy all the special moments with your new child. So many women go through this adjustment, and we can make it a win-win in the work environment if we present a well-thought out proposal and follow through with professionalism, creativity, and humor! - Rachel

Good tips!

Barbara Clements — Fri, 12 Dec 2008 22:51:14 -0600

Kentbarb

Totally agree with most of this, in fact all. As a journalist, I actually had a pretty flexible schedule, but it often depended on which editor you were working for.

Now, as a Web writer at Pacific Lutheran University, it depends. I try to put in the hours needed as a manager, but also let me fathers and mothers under me take the time when they need it, and trust they'll make it up later. They always do.

I think my boss has mixed opinions on flex time. He likes it, and gives it to fathers and mothers under him, but if his managers are working at home too much, he notices. So this is a work in progress.

equal but not the same

madeintaiwan — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 23:02:00 -0500

I do think her younger kids may suffer for it, and I say the same for Obama. Of course, the kids will miss out on their parents' attention - the jobs require a lot of travel and time. The families of leaders always have to sacrifice - I really think that public service at that level is actually made by contributions from whole families rather than just the elected official.

I guess we don't know what goes on in each family so who really knows? Maybe Palin's husband is the nurturer of the family and it works well for them. Maybe not.

http://watermelonmama.wordpress.com/

Agree with all of the above

Sandradginzburg — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:52:08 -0500

Yah know we used to have a word for double standards like the one advocated by Elana. What was it now???? Oh yeah. SEXISM.

http://sandradginzburg.typepad.com/inner_city_mama/

Short Change Debate

Dijea — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:49:56 -0500

I don't think you can do justice to two incredibly demanding jobs at the same time. No person is perfect, but inevitably one of those jobs will suffer. I don't want to sound judgmental, but as Governor her daughter was got pregnant. Was she involved then? Did she know her daughter was having unprotected sex or not? If not who was supervising the kids? You can't be two places at one time. Her job as a mother should be to raise her children - you can't be a conservative republican and have a unwed pregnant daughter without a little criticism.

No, I don't think she can do both

vbruss — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:31:01 -0500

To suggest that Palin is even doing ONE thing right stretches my credulity at this point.

Sure, she's charismatic. She gives great speeches. She looks like Tina Fey and has great comedy timing.

She also has a teenage pregnant daughter and a four-month old with special needs. Who, apparently, she completely disregards. She is set on "solving" her daughter's pregnancy by marrying her off to the guy who got her pregnant, who doesn't have any interest in marriage or fatherhood himself. That, to Palin, seems like a good idea. That's not a progressive woman who is in charge of her life. That's a hypocrite who thinks cover-ups are the way to make very real problems disappear.

I think anyone looking at her situation would have to say, "Well, she's not doing such a great job just now of taking care of her own house, why should we think she would be capable of leading us in the White House?"

Because of course that's where our minds go. McCain is 72. He's not a young, or particularly healthy, man. So, would Palin make a good President?

I'd love to see a woman President. But I don't think Palin could handle it. I don't think she can handle her responsibilities as a parent as it is. If I were going to have a woman in office, I would damn sure want one that supported a woman's right to choose AND believed in telling her kids about responsibility and birth control.

And I think Palin would be short-changing her family even more by running in this election when her daughter is pregnant and her son (or grandson, some speculate!) is only 4 months old and has Down's syndrome.

Does that mean a Mom shouldn't run for office? If she wants to, every Mom should have that right, certainly.

But it's a selfish thing to put your own ambitions above your children. All of you that say "you can have it all"--wishes don't make it true. Kids don't just need you on weekends and after six in the evening. Just holding down a job to keep from going under financially is hard enough for most families, and Palin doesn't need to do that.

So, no, I don't think she should run. I wouldn't run, if given the chance. Serving my country would not be at the top of my list. Sorry. My family, my loved ones, that's my number one priority.

And yes, I know I am judging her. I don't normally go for judging other Moms and their choices. But she's in the public eye, and she's put herself and her family there, even bringing the pregnant daughter's "fiance'" to her big speech, so I don't feel too guilty about putting my thoughts out there.

Viv

www.coolmomsrule.blogspot.com

I would say ...

topsyturvy86 — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:07:34 -0500

I would say NO. As I said earlier in a post relating to this issue, we are not the same as men and that is not a bad thing. We are different so we complement each other. I think fathers and mothers are equally important in the life of the child but play different roles in the life of a child. When children are babies/at a tender age, men are incapable of caring for them the way women can in terms of attention to detail, being sensitive to certain things, and so on. There is a reason we are the one's milking and able to breastfeed and not the man.

I think the presence of a mother in the life of a child is irreplaceable. Not by a father, or nannys or play school. And for that reason and a few more, I would say no if I was in Palin's situation (4 kids under the age of 18, one with special needs, and a grand child on the way) because i'm not a 'Super mum' and can't to both justice. As a mother (soon :) ) I am aware when my children are younger there is a trade off between raising my kids the way I want and charging up the career ladder.

If like Hillary Clinton, my kids are grown, why not? I'd say a big yes! Then I would have given my all to raising my kids and can give my all to my career. Thats my take on it and i'm not saying it should be the norm. Women have different priorities in life and it is not in my place to judge.

I am a feminist myself but not extreme. I love the fact women are charging forward and paving the way for other women but I think the main thing here is so women can have a choice to go for it when the time is right for them and not for the opportunities to compete with the raising of their children.

Temi

I would

TW — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:37:53 -0500

Definitely. The chance to make a difference on such a incredible scale would be irresistable.

~TW
Retro-Food