BlogHer - Life - Comments

until october

kazari — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:34:17 -0600

we were renting a pokey, furnished apartment. It was stuffed to the rafters with other people's stuff! Now we are in our own home, and it has been bliss having so much space.

Like you, I saved up lots of decorating ideas for this moment!

http://myrope.wordpress.com

I often wonder about this

LadyBird — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 23:26:55 -0600

This concern has shaped how I "shop" for men online. Most of my shorter girlfriends don't seem to get because they have never had to be the tallest person in a room or group picture. These types of petite girls are the same size as my best buds in middle-high school and though I loved them, think they contributed to some of my insecurities. Ah, well, I think I really should get over it as the tall men I meet are doing me any good either!!

LadyBird

http://notyetacrazycatlady.blogspot.com/

Optimism versus possibility

Wilma Ham — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:17:47 -0600

Optimism is not what gets me into or keeps me in action.
Optimism is a mind game I no longer need.

For me it is seeing a possibility, a personal dream and then working towards it step for step.
Be the change you want to see is NOT a hollow saying for me anymore.

I want to see a healthy world, so I live healthy, I found a way to move to the country and now I grow my own veggies and that happened by taking one step at the time.
I do that by NOT expecting things to be instant, I just do today what there is to do and be grateful for any progress I am making.
I do not expect the world to change, I do not judge people who are not changing, I just do and share how I live differently on my blog so by my doing I might inspire and support others AND eventually may or may not add to the achievement of the tipping point.

I am 'self focused' and yet I also look beyond to a bigger for the sake of what.
I make sure that what I do always adds value, and is never taking away from anybody.

I know that what I do is enough and that it makes my world a better one.
If we all did that and stopped biting off more than we can chew, we would make a wholesome tapestry.

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

as of now I am still living

midnightbliss — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 15:54:23 -0600

as of now I am still living with my parent but one day, soon, i will be able to have my own place, so I am already figuring out what I want. It will be costly in the beginning when you need to buy furnitures and stuff but once you have your basic necessities, it will be easier and a lot fullfilling to have a place of your own and a style of your own. Good luck

Write more!

sassymonkey — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:46:32 -0600

Excellent first post over on your blog. Keep it up.

Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

the state of divorce

cjpapp — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:22:16 -0600

It seems to me that the whole system is seriously flawed. When judges order payments for child support and /or alimony that leaves the payer unable to afford a place to live is senseless. I have seen a friend of mine (excellent father) become homeless because he gave all his pay to child support - and still didn't get to see his children very often. I have 2 women friends in child custody fights - one is a teacher that must pay a large amount of money to her husband for child support and alimony because he doesn't work, the judge ordered that he was accustomed to not working. He periodically tries to get full custody - right now it is 50/50. She often goes into high debt for attorneys and has already claimed bankruptcy. (He is a musician and works under the table. She cannot afford a PI to prove it.) He is able to take their daughter out to dinner, buy her new clothes, and take her on trips (with her money) while her mother must work harder to buy baloney sandwiches or whatever else is cheap just to put food on the table.

Another friend is in a custody fight because she doesn't work. The judge ordered that she should work! She has proven abuse from the husband and child services even got involved when he threatened to kidnap her and take her out of the country - but that didn't sway the judge any. In this case, he was found to be living a double life, he even owned a business that she didn't know about it! (This was even proven in court, in California where the laws are supposed to be 50/50 ownership!) The judge knew this and still will barely give her any money for support or alimony. The husband ties her up in court and she cannot afford attorneys to fight so she relies on public defense which seems to be no help.

There seems to be no common sense, no standards, no thoughts or concern for the child. I believe it is important for the child to see that both mother and father are able to survive and support themselves. In the above scenarios, even though the spouses work hard to pay what they are supposed to, the child sees this parent as a "loser" or "deadbeat" because the other can afford to live in a nice place, to do things, to buy clothes - regardless of the fact that the "poor" spouse is paying for these niceties. I am not divorced - but these people are friends and it seems too often that the rulings are unreasonable and lopsided. It really makes me mad that our judicial system leaves power of all of these people's lives in the hands of judges that may have legal experience behind them, but no sense. Just my observations.

Holiday Kindness Opportunities

Maria Niles — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 10:34:35 -0600

What a wonderful observation that we can really rock someone's world by being purposefully kind at a crazy time of year and soothe our own jangled nerves as well.

Thank you for your kind words and for your comment, Beverly!

BlogHer Contributing Editor PopConsumer Beyond Help

our wee cottage

Laurie PK — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 09:40:12 -0600

Omigosh, I didn't realize how lucky I am -- and yet I complain! DH and I live in a small 2 bedroom cottage (less than 1,000 square feet), and I've wanted a bigger house for several years. My office doubles as the guest room, and it's terribly inconvenient when we have guests. DH is happy here...but I also want a home with a view of the ocean, mountains, and islands (we live on an island in British Columbia).

But, I hadn't thought of living in a smaller space...and now I feel like a spoiled whiny brat!

I've lived with roommates and alone, and I prefer living alone. But, it depends on the roommate and the size of your space. If you have similar decorating tastes, then you're all set in that regard.

I look forward to hearing about your next stage of life...and whether you can decorate to your heart's content! :-)

Laurie

See Jane Soar

Quips & Tips for Achieving Your Goals

4 months and counting

SaraLancaster — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 08:08:19 -0600

We've been in our apartment for 4 months and still haven't decorated! It's expensive and a lot of pressure to decide on something that you and your "roomies" will like for a long time.

I feel your pain.

**********

Sara Lancaster
Writer
No2Pen.com

Bliss

Liz Rizzo — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:15:26 -0600

I just moved into my own place, and even with everything I've got going on, I've got to tell you, it is bliss to have only my stuff about, arranged just the way I like it.

Liz Rizzo

I blog at Everyday Goddess.

Feeling The Same Way

wifenmom — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 22:08:58 -0600

We're in the exact same boat. We currently live with my parents and have one room for four people (Hubby, me and two preschoolers). We are in the process of purchasing a home, but the builder is giving us no update when we can sign the title. We have bought a few things and there but all small items that we can fit in the closet. We found a local furniture store, who has been holding our order since August... Good luck!

-Mary-
A Student for Life

Thanks Vita

Mata H — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:55:24 -0600

Compassion -- I think anyway -- is God's universal language. It brings me joy to hear it spoken, regardless of who is giving voice to it. Thaks for your kind comment.

-- Mata

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Just in time for the holidays!

Beverly Flaxington — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:10:35 -0600

This is so important to keep in mind as we troop out to relatives, stores and holiday parties. To find an opportunity to be kind to someone less fortunate by giving when our own funds are low, or just to be calm and friendly to those harried retail workers -- and harried shoppers. It sometimes take a lot of personal strength to be kind when we are feeling harried and stressed out, too. I think that's when true kindness really is felt, when we aren't at our best but we make a pleasant overture to another anyway. I will think about what you wrote over the coming weeks -- thank you for sharing such a lovely post!

Beverly Flaxington

Blog: Dealing with Difficult People

Book: Understanding Other People: The Five Secrets

And bless you Mata for

Vita lingus — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:46:19 -0600

And bless you Mata for Goddessness behaviour after they week that appars you have been pitched this is very Buddhist and big hearted response to see the big picture and know great acts of kindness and action do matter..

Love and light

Yes indeed, Gwendolyn

Mata H — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 19:13:25 -0600

I agree. No matter on which side of the conservative/liberal theological fence one finds oneself, hatred should never be on the agenda. I believe that with my whole heart.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool