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A woman's got to do what a woman's got to do

Candelaria Silva — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:26:19 -0500

I didn't know the strength I had or the capacity I could develop until I had children. I did what I had to do for them. They didn't ask to be brought into the world and so they often gave me the incentive to do more than I thought possible. It wasn't fair but it was the way it is. I don't regret it at all.

I worked after my children were 3 and 5 respectively. I've worked very demanding jobs since they were teens and after they launched into their adult lives. I've watched friends with no children work their arses off. What I've learned is that you should do the best job you can at the many roles you have, but realize that work doesn't care about you, it just cares that you do the work. People have a short period of time to be children, looking to be producted, nurtured and loved by the people charged with doing this for them.

Having the most stuff, having everything material you want, nothing substitutes for having satisfying relationships. If one wants to live in the big city and one is able to pinch pennies until they holler and work with others to seek out all opportunities and ways to cut corners, you can have a grand life on little money.

Thanks.

Candelaria- Good and plenty!

A woman's got to do what a woman's got to do

Candelaria Silva — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:26:14 -0500

Thanks.

Candelaria- Good and plenty!

Work is prison

lizzen — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 10:37:31 -0500

I danced around this issue in a blog I wrote (http://www.justthewayitis.com/11953.html?sid=67112) a while back. Essentially I think that work is prison--but only possibly because what I do is soul-sucking (but not quite soul selling). The things I do are monotonous and trite, and although I'm not too particuarly environmentally-friendly, I work for a company that paves over the world--something I'm not exactly for. But I just applied for a new job yesterday working for a national non-profit. Cross your fingers for me! If I get it I believe I will finally start to FEED my soul rather than sell it.

Just the Way It Is - A laugh, an epiphany, a like-minded soul

Soul Sucking Jobs and other Flights of Fancy

Jody DeVere -- Ask Patty — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 22:51:52 -0500

Great post...guess I just tired of letting the job or or boss, company, corporate america...suck the soul out of me and started my own company. It does suck the life out of me sometimes, with all the demands, BUT never my soul! Right now my entire soul has been lifted to the heavens doing what I love every day.

Jody DeVere
President
www.askpatty.com
www.carblabber.com

Oh...I remember those days

moddivorce — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 12:37:56 -0500

The soul sucking eventually took its toll on me, even though I knew I was helping those in need. Now, I love what I do, even if the safety net and benefits aren't there, and there's no soul sucking to be had here!

I'm a firm believer that you can have it all but it takes risks, uncertainty and time to ge there! Good luck!

Helene
President and Founder
The Modenr Woman's Divorce Guide
http://themodernwomansdivorceguide.com

That sounds about right.

Mrs.Micah — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 05:29:31 -0500

That sounds about right. It's good you value your job, not Pollyannaish (in the long run especially).

I'm trying to balance a slightly soul-sucking job at a company that I don't "believe" in--can one believe in commercial property management? (my boss seems to, and I'm happy for her.) I've been happier in janitorial positions, which sucked a bit, but which also got things clean, which I value.

Thanks for the link!

LOVE the show!!

debra roby — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 10:46:39 -0500

I've found this a fascinating program to watch. That, plus AMCs tying one piece of company trivia to each commercial shown? Makes sense given the program, and means I actually almost watch the commercials.

Debra
A Stitch In Time
Deb's Daily Distractions

Well said!

depechemom — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 21:49:43 -0500

You have done all women-not just mothers-a huge service with this post! Ultimately it is about doing what is best for you and your family. Sometimes I find myself feeling badly for people who have chosen not to have children because I know what joy mine have brought to me. Then I remind myself that I am putting my feelings onto someone else, and that simply isn't right. The same goes for what you've said here. Do what's right for you, but don't think that what you've chosen is right for someone else.

Thanks, again, for a truly thought provoking post!!

we should change things

lolagoetz — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:55:22 -0500

And if we women all banded together and supported each other, maybe staying home for a while before going back to work would NOT put us off track in our careers, either. If we demand that companies not penalize us for raising our children, maybe it would matter less that we took one or two or ten years off. Yes, there is a learning curve when heading back. But have you seen the news of some companies that are helping women keep in contact when they're on leave so they aren't so behind when they come back? (I'll have to try and find the article I just recently read on that.)

Becky
http://misspriss.org

I'm bad at hiding tampons

Denise — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 09:47:10 -0500

Which means it is probably a good thing I work at home. ;-)

~Denise
Fast Times @ Homeschool High & Flamingo House Happenings

Young Women Can Change This Ridiculous Debate...yes Ridiculous!

Lovebabz — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 18:26:47 -0500

Hugs, kisses and Mama spit to you for acknowledging the roles of mothers. All mothers are working mothers! It is up to you and other young women like Elana to shift this conversation. All willing mother's work is hard and challenging and joyous. When I hear women pitted against each other on the "stay-at-home vs. the Out-of-the-home mother I want to SCREAM. Here is an issue that if women wrapped their arms around could change the world. Imagine if women supported each others roles, there would be respect for women who hold it down at a 9 to 5 and Women holding it down on the home front. There is no better than, there are only women who are mothers trying to make a way for children in this world.

Love,
Babz
www.lovebabz.blogspot.com

Love,
Babz

I found it energizing

Elana Centor — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 16:43:00 -0500

At age 23 I definitely was not interesting in having children. I didn't make up my mind until I was 32. I liked it so much I did it again when I was almost 38. I worked the entire time. Here's the secret( I think) .when you have children what seems like sheer chaos,annoyance and an energy depletor to the outside world can actually serve as an energizer. I think it has to do with unconditional love.
Now, does that mean I was never exhausted when I came home and wished I didn't have to do anything but veg? Of course. I had my moments.

But for me, being with my kids when they were young gave me my second wind and helped put life, work and the world in perspective. Which is a good thing because many a night after they fell asleep I did my second shift of work.

Now that I will be an empty-nester in several weeks I only look back at those days with fondness . And with no regrets. I worked a lot and I cherished the time I had with my kids.
elana
Blogher Contributing Editor,Business&CareersFunnyBusiness