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Oh, I think daily health

jhonsmith — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 06:31:38 -0500

Oh, I think daily health hindrance drag the U.S. has got to symbolize on of the prime four issues since the voter manifesto. It's seemly eerie what happens to people.

A organization of rabble believe suggested healthcare over our poles apart universal activism clock in to. So, my inquire into is: how fulfill we make active a difference in health care worldwide? I actually think it could be a great issue, because there are so many components to it, and it seems like there would be lots of ways to take action. Hospitals in Mexico

Breaking the Silence on Childhood Sexual Assault

Keith Smith — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:18:32 -0500

I was abducted, beaten and raped by a stranger. It wasn’t a neighbor, a coach, a relative, a family friend or teacher. It was a recidivist pedophile predator who spent time in prison for previous sex crimes; an animal hunting for victims in the quiet, bucolic, suburban neighborhoods of Lincoln, Rhode Island.

I was able to identify the guy and the car he was driving. Although he was arrested that night and indicted a few months later, he never went to trial. His trial never took place because he was brutally beaten to death in Providence before his court date. 34 years later, no one has ever been charged with the crime.

In the time between the night of my assault and the night he was murdered, I lived in fear. I was afraid he was still around town. Afraid he was looking for me. Afraid he would track me down and kill me. The fear didn’t go away when he was murdered. Although he was no longer a threat, the simple life and innocence of a 14-year-old boy was gone forever. Carefree childhood thoughts replaced with the unrelenting realization that my world wasn’t a safe place. My peace shattered by a horrific criminal act of sexual violence.

Over the past 34 years, I’ve been haunted by horrible, recurring memories of what he did to me. He visits me in my sleep. There have been dreams–nightmares actually–dozens of them, sweat inducing, yelling-in-my-sleep nightmares filled with images and emotions as real as they were when it actually happened. It doesn’t get easier over time. Long dead, he still visits me, silently sneaking up from out of nowhere when I least expect it. From the grave, he sits by my side on the couch every time the evening news reports a child abduction or sex crime. I don’t watch America’s Most Wanted or Law and Order SVU, because the stories are a catalyst, triggering long suppressed emotions, feelings, memories, fear and horror. Real life horror stories rip painful suppressed memories out from where they hide, from that recessed place in my brain that stores dark, dangerous, horrible memories. It happened when William Bonin confessed to abducting, raping and murdering 14 boys in California; when Jesse Timmendequas raped and murdered Megan Kanka in New Jersey; when Ben Ownby, missing for four days, and Shawn Hornbeck, missing for four years, were recovered in Missouri.

Despite what happened that night and the constant reminders that continue to haunt me years later, I wouldn’t change what happened. The animal that attacked me was a serial predator, a violent pedophile trolling my neighborhood in Lincoln, Rhode Island looking for young boys. He beat me, raped me, and I stayed alive. I lived to see him arrested, indicted and murdered. It might not have turned out this way if he had grabbed one of my friends or another kid from my neighborhood. Perhaps he’d still be alive. Perhaps there would be dozens of more victims and perhaps he would have progressed to the point of silencing his victims by murdering them.

Out of fear, shame and guilt, I’ve been silent for over three decades, not sharing with anyone the story of what happened to me. No more. The silence has to end. The fear, the shame, the guilt have to go. It’s time to stop keeping this secret from the people closest to me, people I care about, people I love, my long-time friends and my family. It’s time to speak out to raise public awareness of male sexual assault, to let other victims know that they’re not alone and to help victims of rape and violent crime understand that the emotion, fear and memories that may still haunt them are not uncommon to those of us who have shared a similar experience.

For those who suffer in silence, I hope my story brings some strength, comfort, peace and hope.

My novel, Men in My Town, is based on these actual events.

Men in My Town is available now at Amazon.com

So sad

moonfever0 — Mon, 04 May 2009 14:43:51 -0500

I think that Dr. Meredith Nash makes an excellent point that home birth and free birth are two different things. No matter how informed or confident a mother is, if things go wrong, she could panic. I feel so sorry for Ms. Fraser's loss.

Angela at mommy bytes
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

no absolute right

lousymom — Sat, 02 May 2009 13:08:59 -0500

Despite what some people think, there is no absolute right way to have or raise babies. I had a home birth because from my research, it looked like that was the safest and best way for me to go. I had a midwife because that too seemed safest and best. But, other people look at the same information and come to different conclusions. I work as a labor and delivery nurse and I am regularly surprised by some of my coworkers' opinions regarding birth. They have seen the same research I have.

Any baby lost is a tragedy. When women try their best to figure out the right way to do things for them and their child, they should never be castigated. There are no absolutes with babies. For proof, just pick up any two books on parenting or birth and you find two completely opposing opinions on what is the right thing to do.

www.lousymom.com

ended long term breast feeding three days ago and feeling sad

Happymomma — Sat, 02 May 2009 10:17:19 -0500

My precious soon to be 4 year old soon is no longer having his much loved "nummies" and I am in a very sad and depressed state. I did not think it would affect me this badly but it is. I need to remember that I have him almost 4 years and that was such a gift, but I still feel bad. I always wanted him to self wean and it just was not happening. almost a year and a half ago through an mri on my brain to check out a hearing loss I experienced many years ago they found a cyst in the deep gray matter of my brain. They said that it very well could have been there my whole life and was probably nothing but they wanted to do a contrast MRI with dye to get a better look. I would not do it because I was nursing. I kept thinking I would stop and just couldn't. Now almost 1.5 years later I felt as the time has come as I don't think my son would ever stop on his own. He just loves his nummies to much. My 21 year old daugther needs peace of mind that her mom is okay and I do owe her this. To get my son to accept the end of his dear nummies I explained to him that I needed the test done and if it was important to my health that I stop nummies. He was not happy but did make it very easy as he did not cry when I refused nummies. We cuddled and fell asleep the past few nights watching Fantasia. Now I am just soooo very sad. I feel I gave him something so special and I took it away. I took something he loved so very much away. Can someone please help me through this sadness I am feeling? Thank you for this sight Amy, you are a blessing as are all the moms who have been so vocal about their full term breast feeding.

I always feel so cautious when looking backward

She Who — Fri, 01 May 2009 23:44:31 -0500

seems to have so many pastoral, idyllic, values.

"Women no longer had the bedside support and nurturing of their mothers, sisters and aunts." How much is this really true, and how much of it is just a picture of what we THOUGHT should happen? We know there were dysfunctional families, miserable pregnancies and lonely mothers before, and we know there are hospital births with concern and consideration given to mother and baby.The granny midwife may be less present, but the fathers are more commonly expected to be.

My grandmother was born at home, my mother and I in hospitals, my children at home again. There hasn't been much time to eradicate an oral tradition. But people have different experiences of childbirth, and different temperments. I believe that recognising that is a good start towards bridging the gaps between us on these issues.

http://www.blogher.com/blog/she-who

Trying to See Beyond the Pain

DrLindaGalloway — Fri, 01 May 2009 22:13:46 -0500

Everything happens for a higher purpose. Sometimes we have to see beyond the pain. I am an obstetrician-gynecologist who takes care of high-risk indigent women. Yet, I'm not going to debate the pros and cons of Janet Fraser's decision to have an unassisted birth delivery. The outcome speaks for itself.

I often think of pregnancy as a journey of a soul who's coming to Earth bearing gifts. My job is to make sure the arrival is safe and that its mom is safe as well. When we board an aircraft to travel, there is the assumption that we'll arrive safely however the flight attendant still gives us an emergency plan. Whether it's a home birth, an unassisted birth or birth in a delivery room, there must be a contingency plan. Obstetrics is a specialty of the unexpected, and the ability to recognize warning signs of potential problems is essential. Was there an absence of fetal movement? Was she an undiagnosed diabetic? Did she have hypertension? Was there enough fluid around the baby? Was the fundal height appropriate for her dates? The answer is in the question. I don't care what side of the debate we're on; our common goal is the delivery of a healthy baby.

Perhaps the greatest lesson learned in Fraser’s tragedy is that nothing is ever written in stone. If one opts to have an "unconventional" delivery, but a problem emerges, please be flexible enough to change the agenda.

Pointing fingers at Janet Fraser serves no constructive purpose. When a mother loses a baby, we all mourn.

I can't imagine adding to

sidhesays — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:41:28 -0500

I can't imagine adding to this woman's pain by pointing the finger at her for the tragic end to her free birth experience. However, I will say that I would not personally choose free birth. Home birth, yes. Free birth seems awfully risky to me, and I would want someone there to monitor me and my baby during the birthing process. Isn't this how it's always been done? We have someone - an elder in the tribe or community who knows what to expect and how to help - on standby. I think free birth is unnecessarily risky.

I feel enormous sympathy for the mother in question whatever her choices (and I emphasize this word 'choice' because we should have the right to choose how we give birth!).

SidheSays

So many good words here...

ShoreBookworm — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:31:06 -0500

...concerned, compassion, community, support. Then there are the other ones: rape, mistrust, misunderstanding. How can we bridge this gap?

I did my thesis in graduate school on communication and story telling between women in the childbirth process. It was sobering to see how woman to woman care and support disintegrated over the last century as birth was medicalized.

As birth moved out of the home and into the hospital, women relatives moved out of the picture. Women no longer had the bedside support and nurturing of their mothers, sisters and aunts.

Sure infant mortality went down. But look at what else was happening parallel to the hospital movement: antibiotics, improved sanitation, cleaner water, vaccination.

We have lost the generational connection between mothers. We tell each other horrible labor stories. We don't trust each other, why would we trust strangers who tell us what to wear, how to sit, stand or lie down, that we cannot take nourishment in labor, that we have to follow their rules not our instincts.

It is inevitable that without a dialogue between ideological camps, there will be no understanding or progress. There is no incentive for either side to work with the other to find acceptable alternatives. And that is what leads people to what others might consider to be foolhardy extremes.

So sad for all of us.

Marie, Nurse and former Childbirth Educator

http://nourishourselves.blogspot.com

http://theshorebookworm.blogspot.com

There are many cases where

Leighbra — Fri, 01 May 2009 15:26:36 -0500

There are many cases where common errors cause us to lose babies in a hospital setting. In my career I've seen more than one baby or new mother be lost to a medication error. I've also seen women badgered into receiving procedures that were not necessary.

I have also seen babies that certainly would not have made it at home without medical care.

While it is unfair to say that all doctors and hospitals are to be avoided, and I personally would not have an unassisted birth, it is also unfair to say that free birth should be outlawed, or is a criminal act. We DO do the best that we can see at the time, and if we are going to start prosecuting every Christian Scientist or other person that objects to medical intervention, we will be walking a very scary path.

Because who gets to make those decisions for the rest of us scares the crap out of me. Look at the decisions made for us in the last 8 years.

Thank you for helping make the distinction between free birth and home birth. Certified Nurse Midwives have it hard enough as it is, and deserve all the support we can give them.

My heart goes out to this mother, the pain she's going through is unimaginable, without the international media scrutiny and hen-housing on top of it.

Motherhood should be a community

momalom — Fri, 01 May 2009 14:08:11 -0500

As mothers, I think we all must support each other and trust each other's choices. There is just no room for judgement. We must be willing to believe that women are making the best choices for themselves and for their families. Hearing of any instance of a mother losing a child nearly rips me inside out, simply because of the sheer possibility, the reality, the simple fact that life is short and that we all are doing the very best we can to enjoy each day.

My heart goes out to Janet.

Momalom.com

An Unnecessary Loss

ButThenIHadKids — Fri, 01 May 2009 12:16:24 -0500

I am all for "natural"...but when it comes to childbirth, I would prefer to give myself and my babies all the "back-ups" possible. Why risk it? Yes, most deliveries go smoothly and do not need interventions. But what if yours does? When I had my second son, I had a prolapsed chord, which means the chord somehow got stuck between the baby's head and the opening. It only happens in 1% of deliveries and the doctors say there were no signs or indicators that this was going to happen to me. If I had been at home, there is a good chance my son would not have survived the drive to the hospital. Even with a nurse there, the chances of him surviving without brain damage were low. From the time the nurse discovered it to the the time my son was born, a mere 7 minutes had passed. I was lucky and he not only survived, he never even suffered a moment of fetal distress--because they were able to get to me so quickly.I do not blame the mother; I am sure she had the very best of intentions for herself and her baby. What does blame solve? However, I think the choice of delivering at home--ESPECIALLY with no assistance in case of an emergency--is absolutely unnecessary. A heartbreaking story like this is proof. Even one case is too many.

http://www.but-then-i-had-kids.blogspot.com

Concerned by Concerned :)

jennydecki — Fri, 01 May 2009 12:03:39 -0500

The statement:

All actions taken by doctors and nurses are undertaken to help protect both the mother and the baby.

Is untrue.

There are many things done for the sake of convenience. Not saying this means everyone should run away and give birth at home, I have two daughters that were born at the hospital and they are just fine. I don't think the things done for the sake of convenience will harm a baby or its mother in most cases - but they also aren't inherently protecting anyone.

Also, it's not always the doctor that is the problem. Many people I know, including myself, shy away from hospitals because of interactions with staff and nurses that were less-than-favorable.

As for Janet, I feel awful for her loss. There will always be people that believe to do things authentically you have to go way off the charts. Without them there wouldn't be bell-curves where the middle ground became normal. I thank her for making my midwife-assisted homebirth plans seem almost boring.

jennydecki

Beyond Mom Blog

Concerned

LHR — Fri, 01 May 2009 11:37:57 -0500

I am very concerned about the trend to mistrust doctors and medical care in general. I am a physician myself, albeit in an unrelated field (ophthalmology) and have two children. (2 1/2 yrs and 4 1/2 mo) I serched out an OB/GYN doctor at the place that I work for who is compassionate and knowledgable. Frankly, I don't understand what there is to fear in going to the hospital to have your delivery. I know that the fetal monitoring that is done during the delivery can pick up fetal distress and the labor moved on, or cesarian elected if necessary for the health of your baby. Frankly, knowing the possibility of what could happen to my baby was a great push to elect the best doctor in my group. There is no conspiracy to "birth rape." All actions taken by doctors and nurses are undertaken to help protect both the mother and the baby. These are compassionate men and women who go into this field due to their love and commitment to helping women deliver healthy babies. I think that there must be a great wealth of misunderstanding and lack of education about why each step is undertaken for there to be such a backlash against the field. It is no wonder that fewer doctors are going into osbsetrics. The long hours, the lack of appreciation and high malpractice premiums are pushing the best doctors out of the field, which is a shame. By the way--there is no way that the mother can tell if the fetus is in distress or that a cord is wrapped around the neck, or any other complication. Midwives provide valuable services to those who wish to deliver at home, but they cannot operate should a episiotomy or cesarean be necessary and you lose valuable time for the fetus if you need to transfer yourself to a hospital for this care. Time in which your baby could be choking to death. (anoxic brain injury) I am a little suprised that there isn't more discussion on the side of getting proper prenatal care and care during delivery in this post.

Heartbreaking

ShoreBookworm — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 23:47:05 -0500

I am so sorry for this family's loss.

I chose homebirth with assistance because even as a nurse, I did not feel confident in my clinical ability to take care of two vulnerable human beings, myself and my baby. It was entirely a personal choice, the best one I could make based on the knowledge I had. Surely that is how Janet Fraser made her decision as well.

I decry the compulsion that people have to finger point and criticize. The public always seems so thrilled to jump on a disparagement bandwagon without knowing all the facts or understanding why people make certain choices.

A loving mother with the best of intentions has lost her precious baby. It is almost certain that no one will be harder on Janet then she will be on herself. As women, as mothers, as human beings, we should be compassionate, not condemning.

Think twice before you pass judgement on someone else. Would every action in your life stand up to a standard of perfection?