BlogHer - body image - Comments

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tjsmith — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 11:04:54 -0500

I frankly did not understand this was a condition at all until I did some research and understood that some of my own anxiety and stress comes from worrying about how others view me. That has inspired me to do a lot more reading on the topic, which in my case helps me understand whats going on. And you know what they say, understanding the problem is the first step on the road to recovery. Hang in there! You are not alone by any stretch.

TJ Smith

www.working-with-women.com

Thank you!

beckylbranch — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 00:42:33 -0500

Thank you for addressing this issue...so many women don't! I have always been shy and suffered from social anxiety...every day is a struggle because I always worry about what others will think of me. Part of that probably comes from being a twin and constantly being compared to someone else your entire life...we both went to counceling on and off as teenagers, but yes-it is a major issue and something that is so hard to overcome! I hate to rely on drugs for the rest of my life to calm my nerves, and I do believe God has a plan for my life-other than being anxious all the time. As I get older and more secure in myself it gets better, but it's still a struggle every day....Becky

i've been there.

thewildcat — Sat, 30 May 2009 23:33:12 -0500

i've been to this point. i think it's safe to say that going on a massive binge and not being able to purge anything has to be the deepest form of helplessness i've experienced. i'm 17 and have had bulimia for 4 years. it is a nightmare. it's crept up on me during my most crucial period of development, and now i am going to go from being a depressed/bulimic adolescent into a depressed/bulimic young adult. but lately i have been fighting it. i still have a tendency to binge but i try to come to my senses toward to end of the binge and tell myself "okay this is what i did to myself, and now i have to deal with the consequences." and i won't purge. it does work somewhat in changing my psychology, i think i'm being able to realize how detrimental bulimia really is and just how stupid and irrational a decision to binge. it may not help physically at all, but it is in a sense taking a step toward recovery.

Megansul, I'm new to BlogHer - How did you find my post?

Tori_Founder_Zoe_Foods — Thu, 28 May 2009 09:24:01 -0500

Megansul,

I'm new to BlogHer and was wondering how you came across my post? I'm still trying to understand how this all works and how people find blogs they're interested in when there are so many of them! Thanks for letting me know.

Best,

Tori
Founder & President, Zoe Foods
Keep dreaming, keep believing, keep achieving
Mompreneur Musings: The Quest for Balance at http://www.zoefoods.com/blog
http://www.zoefoods.com (my company!)

The Perfect Number or The Perfect Fit

Tori_Founder_Zoe_Foods — Wed, 27 May 2009 11:18:00 -0500

I totally hear you on wanting to reach what I think is the perfect number on the scale. But I have recently learned that I can be at the perfect number on the scale and it's still not right! What matters more to me is the fit and feel of me. If I fit comfortably into my clothes and I feel good, I don't even think to weigh myself because the number doesn't really matter. Try it sometime, try on those skinny jeans and if they fit the way you want them to and you feel great, what difference does it matter if the scale says 110 or 150?

Good luck, and let me know if it works.

Best,

Tori
Founder & President, Zoe Foods
Keep dreaming, keep believing, keep achieving
Mompreneur Musings: The Quest for Balance at http://www.zoefoods.com/blog
http://www.zoefoods.com (my company!)

Thanks for a great post

megansul — Wed, 27 May 2009 11:06:56 -0500

I love the concept of this but it just feels better to be at the "perfect" number on the scale. We're all so driven by goals and accomplishments that if that number isn't what we want it to be we feel like we've failed. Looking forward to reading the article and getting a healthier perspective.

Love children but don't want my own.

Beth Terry — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:26:53 -0500

Hi. I'm another "cats not kids" person, sort of. I love other peoples' kids (which is unusual, no?) Miss my nieces and nephews. And I did have some feelings of sadness after my hysterectomy 2 years ago, even though I'd pretty much decided I wasn't going to procreate.

I've been accepted into the Green Moms Blog Carnival even though I don't have my own kids. They call me a "mother of the earth." I'll take it, although given the choice, I'd rather skip the Mom part altogether.

I really don't blog about being child-free either, my focus being on environmental issues, especially plastic. I do, however, find myself blogging about my kitties in spite of myself. They are the real stars.

While I don't blog about the issue, I'd love to be included in any child-free women bloggers groups.

Beth Terry
www.fakeplasticfish.com
@fakeplasticfish
FaceBook

"Cats not Kids"

antigoddess — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 21:13:10 -0500

My husband and I live by the motto "Cats not kids." We have rescued many cats, and we have three of our own.

Last year, we moved to Nicaragua, and I get even more questions here than I did in the US about when I'm going to have children. So now my response is, "Gatitos, no hijos."

I recently started a blog with a friend called "Be an Anti-Goddess." The main point of the blog is to celebrate the uniqueness of all women, no matter what their life choices may be. It doesn't specifically focus on being childfree, but it does allow me to tell my story of being a childfree woman. The blog is mainly supported by user-provided content -- photos and stories from amazing women doing amazing things. I hope you will check it out if you get the chance.

Rachel, the original Anti-Goddess

Blog: Be an Anti-Goddess

Child Free by Choice

jharb_weave — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 18:12:24 -0500

My husband and I decided that we wanted to focus on our relationship and providing a great home for our two rescue dogs. I'm in my late twenties and don't have the need to have children. Right now we're putting it off and going to discuss again in five years to see if our opinions have changed at all. At that point we will pursue permanent contraceptive options.

That being said I don't blog about it except to discuss my mirena (IUD) in relation to my healthy lifestyle quest.

[Blog]

Child-free and single

Onely — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 17:13:42 -0500

My co-blogger Lisa and I (at Onely.org) have both pretty much decided that we don't feel the need to have children. I would like to read more about the community of child-free women who are also single. Much writing about child-free women focuses on coupled women (note above post's comment, " we are family members too (families of two)".

Thanks,

Christina

Thanks!

DiDi918 — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:53:17 -0500

The encouragement means a lot. :)

"When you are going through hell, keep going."

Winston Churchill

Best wishes...

nelle2nelle — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 12:51:41 -0500

Struggles and victories? Ay yee yee! It takes courage to toss it out here, and I've done quite a bit of that over the years.

I can't offer you advice, but I do offer encouragement!

llhaesa

Star Wasn't Being Realistic About Her Situation

Megan Smith — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 16:27:40 -0500

As I said in the post, I totally understand what it's like to feel scrutiny and shame because you're overweight. It's terribly difficult.

Though Star Jones had the right to privacy that everyone does, it was unrealistic of her to expect she could maintain it. She was simply too much of a public figure. To think that she could stay silent over something so obvious and not alienate many of her viewers and fans was a mistake.

She said on Oprah that she wouldn't change anything she did and I respect that. All I'm saying is one afternoon of crying on Barbara Walters' interview couch would have saved her a whole world of grief.

Thanks very much for commenting.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

Star is Shinning

sanona — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 15:16:07 -0500

Hi Megan,

I enjoyed your post and I would like to share my opinion. I totally understand Star's decision to keep her gastric bypass private during her time at The View. Yes, she's a public figure and could've reached millions if she chose to share her plight. However, Star admitted on Oprah that she was ashamed of her condition and at that time, not at a place of contentment; emotionally fragile. Opening up about it on television could've possibly open a floodgate of tears which isn't the image anyone wants. Star didn't want to show her weakness so she chose to deal with it privately.

I too have weight issues that have plagued me for many years of my life. I never discussed my weight with anyone except GOD because its an embarrassing and shameful situation. Its taken me years to accept being overweight and loving myself unconditionally. I'm at the point now that I can receive interventions from those closest to me and not cringe on the thought of being evaluated.

So Star protected herself the best way she could. Although you are in the public, you still have the right to have privacy in your life.

Personal growth and enlightenment

cadsuanne — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 08:12:38 -0500

I am the proud mother of a beautiful, too-smart baby girl that recently turned 2 years old. My husband and I have had diferent views of nakedness before our daughter was born, but now we seem to see eye to eye.

Let me preface this with a side note.....as a child I was sexually assaulted and my view of makedness and sex was forever changed in a negative way. It has taken most of my life to ba able to overcome those scars and lead a happy, productive life. When dealing with being naked around my daughter, I thought I would insist that my husband cover himself most of the time due to my personal demons. That said....

Both my husband and I run around the house naked most of the time. We have even cooked dinner naked. We both bathe with our daughter, cuddle with our daughter, and sleep with our daughter......all mostly naked. My husband is a very open and free thinking person. Even before our child was born he would spend a lot of his time at home naked, although I would wear undies. Since we have been married I have slowly become more and more open with my nakedness, and less ashamed. When I found out I was pregnant I decided that I didn't want my child to be embarassed about being naked, so we decided to be naked until the child showed a desire for privacy.

I will admit that because of my issues from childhood I sometimes have flashes of "should my husband put clothes back on yet?" Or I wonder at what age my daught should stop seeing us naked or partially dressed. I found this article will searching for informaiotn regarding this topic. I have decided, since reading many of the posts here, that we will continue as we are untilwe get the clues from her (and any other children we decide to have) that privacy is needed.

The ONLY place that I wish I had more privacy now, and will insist upon getting in the future, is in the bathroom - when I'musing it...lol I have a "potty phobia" that causes me to want to see, hear, or know what someone is doing in there...lol There's no shame in it (the being naked part) I just think its gross!!...lol

I hope that my daughter grows up with a healthy view of her body, and not the distorted unatainable view that much of society pushes on our young girls these days. I'm a bigger woman and I hope that her seeing me ok with my body will help her to be ok with hers, whatever it may look like as she grows up.

Thank you all for your great stories nad advice..:):) IT was all very helpfui...:):)