BlogHer - church - Comments

Hope I can help

Judi — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 11:48:36 -0500

Misty,

I'm a born again but quite rebellious 37yr old single lady....My rebellion very easily creates trouble at my workplace, in traffic, with friends and family......and it is now getting to me, I cannot carry this burden any longer..guess what I struggle with is respecting authority....esp when its forced on me....surprisingly, I also have a very cooperative nature......That was very Godly and wise counsel you gave to the Youth Pastors wife. Thank you.....

Until the end...

MealMixer — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 09:40:28 -0500

I would have sworn that was a UU community until I saw the front of the church! I think out Ann Arbor 1st UU would fit your requirements - come visit us! Thanks for sharing that video - it was amazing.

: )

thanks Kim

Mata H — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 08:49:20 -0500

I just watched the video again and actually laughed and cried again, and thought "I wonder if anyone else has this reaction?" -- then I read your comment. I want a church where that video could have happened! And the people would be radically committed to faith inspired ethics, too!

I like and resonate with your list. I'm thinking there are lots of like-minded folks out here -- so why are such communities in short supply?

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

The video was definitely worth watching

Kim Pearson — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 22:52:22 -0500

That made me laugh and cry -- you're absolutely right!

My perfect worship community -- oh Mata. I'm searching.

I want it to be radically committed to the Gospel -- to the love of God and love of one's neighbor.

I want a Pastor and leadership with a deep and lived understanding of Christian ethics and servant leadership.

I want a community that engages both my heart and my head.

I want it to be a place that feeds the hungry, tends to the sick and embraces the locked out and left out.

And if it's not asking too much. I want to hear some good Gospel now and then.

Peace,

Kim

KimBlogHer Contributing Editor|Professor Kim|

I'm just not sure I believe

BeautifulWreck — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 19:47:36 -0500

I'm just not sure I believe in the organizations of man right now.

I so agree with this statement. I really related to your post as well. I am feeling very disconnected in the present church we attend. I currently have some commitments to the church that are coming to an end, and when they do, I believe I will be "dating" different churches to see if I can find a better fit.

Kim

Beautiful Wreck

http://lotsoflaundry.blogspot.com/

A thought...

AJacobsen — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 16:08:13 -0500

My first thought when I read your post was the scripture in James chapter 1, verse 5 that says "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." (KJV)

If you are torn, pray and ask God what you should do, which church you should attend, etc. Pray in faith believing, and you'll get your answer. Pray with patience for the time when God deems right to answer your prayers, even if it takes longer than you think you can wait. The end result will be perfection, as we know God's timing is always perfect!

I'll be praying for you too!

I agree with...

LisaBrandos — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 14:55:18 -0500

Monica. You've got to keep trying, but your job is to teach her at home. We "dated" a lot of different churches too. Finally we found one that taught the Bible (not a psychology lesson with Scripture), where we were welcomed and REMEMBERED week after week. I wouldn't focus so much on denomination and tenets, and focus more on what is being taught and how the church treats its members.

I write about faith and church too, amongst many other ramblings. Check out my blog.

I can so relate.

LucindaA — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 09:51:41 -0500

I was also raised ELCA Lutheran. I have also had a hard time finding a church I love. And I can relate to the dreaded rockk-n-roll church. I considered the UU church but just couldn't do it. I'm not sure why other than it was a little too different for me. I also considered home-schooling religion for our kids. I felt like I didn't like the message they were getting at the church we are currently attending.

But ultimately, it was really the people that kept us at this church, especially for my husband who didn't grow up going to church. Being in a small town, we know a lot of the people who attend that church and it feels like family even if I don't always agree with what comes from the pulpit, and the music can make me crazy.

So ironically, we get fellowship and friendship from our church but I can't say I get the nurturing of faith. At least not for me. However, I have faith that God is working on this church and on me despite my frustrations. And I'm having good conversations with my kids about church and God because of this experience.

We are in the same boat...

sandhillsis — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 09:02:38 -0500

we attend a lot of different churches (my husband is a musician and often goes as a guest musician) So far we haven't found one church that is exactly what we want to convey to our children. We do really like one tiny country church, though.

In the mean time, we have family Biblestudy at home, teaching the importance of a personal relationship with God through Jesus (not religion--or the act of going to church for show--cause it's the 'right thing to do')

We feel if we can show them how to love their neighbor and teach them how to have a relationship with God, while exposing them to different worship styles, and giving to many different hands and feet in the body-what's not to love.

After reading "The Shack" I'm learning to show myself grace, like God does. I hope you won't beat yourself up for not fitting perfectly into a church mold. I think there is lots of ways to do this right.

Sandhill Sis

www.reclaimsimplicity.com

Discover how rich and hilarious life can be when it's simple. Tales and tips on making money mind, riding the recycle, simple food, homegrown music, gardening and more.

my opinion on church

monicabrandywine — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 08:06:03 -0500

The church community is full of sinners, to be sure. I know many times I've been hurt or misunderstood by the people I fellowship with. Not fun. But we keep attending and helping out. My kids have so many friends there, my husband and I have lots of friends there too. Sometimes you have to forgive and let go. Iron sharpens iron. (And don't depend on the Church to teach the Bible to your girl, that's the job of mom and dad, Sunday School is just a suppliment.)

Monica

Just my thoughts

Erin Hattaway — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 19:47:22 -0500

I think that if you are teaching your daughter the religious values closest to your heart, and keeping your own heart and mind open, you will do an amazing job. You can help her know the Truth that you know, but stay open to the possibility that it can be added to one day when and if you find the right congregation/faith organization for you. Also, don't worry too much about the imperfection of the people in the different churches you've attended. I think that part of a faith community is about learning to forgive blatent wrongdoings, selfishness, and shortcomings, even in leadership. It's something that has taken me a long time to learn.

But most of all, listen to yourself. If there is a nagging feeling deep inside that says, "This place does more harm than good," move on and keep looking. You'll find your place to be, and in the meantime you are so right. You have every right to pray and read and teach your children, and you are just as qualified as any other person, if not more so. Just 'cause you're the Mom.

Erin Hattaway
Little Kite Girl

I suspect you're teaching her already.

She Who — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:31:22 -0500

But churches fulfill a lot of functions. You may look for a church home for inspiration, and to discuss the topics of eternal truths. You may look to a church for religious education and tradition, particularly for your children. You may look to a church for fellowship and support, and for the social aspects of belonging to a community.

Ideally, a church meets all those needs for you, but life very seldom gives us the ideal. Probably there will be some compromising involved, and if you know which things you're willing to compromise on, it'll make your search easier.

I'm not quite sure why you haven't followed your friends' recommendation to try a UU church, which is generally supportive of people defining their own paths. Just from this, that would be my suggestion, too.

But I'm sure your approach with your daughter will teach her love...and I agree that trumps the clanging cymbals. ;)

Same, but different.

kdg — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:53:02 -0500

I am struggling with this in a different way. While I have beliefs and quite a bit of background about the Bible and religious teachings, I haven't felt like church is the best way to express/explore/celebrate/question these beliefs. Therefore it seems hypocritical to take my kids to church...even though that is where I gained a lot of the spiritual information I have. I haven't baptized my kids yet, wanting them to make some of these choices, but yet they don't have much to go on. I would like to perhaps "homeschool" these beliefs, but I am struggling with my ability to make this relevant and meaningful for them. I believe that we are closest to God when we connect selflessly with others, not from an artificial construct, but the church (along with coursework, literature, art, etc..) gave me much of the information that led me to that belief. Am I overthinking this?

I've Been in the Very Same Position

SCanon — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 12:37:27 -0500

Dating different churches, attacked by the welcoming people grabbing me and asking if this is my first time at their church, pastors speaking conservative views, and the whole marketing thing. I, too, want to expose my son to my beliefs and my faith, but I worry that I would not be able to embed those values in him the same way a community of people might. I grew up going to church and I know that it's those beginnings that set the tone for my values and views. Can I emulate the same thing for my son on my own? I don't know.

Hang in there, friend. We

piefgirl30 — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 18:58:31 -0600

Hang in there, friend. We all have to make the choice to either find our identity in ministry or Jesus...I pray that you will embrace what God has given to you--to be involved in the lives of students and minister with your husband. Enjoy this time, and for those who don't understand life in the ministry public eye--it's just that. They don't understand. I'd encourage you to reach out to other youth pastor's wives in your area, or at least search out some online community...but my closest friends here are those of different churches. We "get" each other that's for sure:) www.marriedtoayouthpastor.com is a good one---

Have you ever attended the Simply Youth ministry conference? There's an entire 8 hour class for the spouses of youth ministers-_SO HELPFUL!!!