BlogHer - church - Comments

Hope I can help

mferguson — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 23:44:44 -0600

I don't know if you still check this blog, but I stumbled upon this and had to respond...I'm not much further down the road than you are. My husband is preparing to be liscensed by our organization but we've been involved in church leadership ever since we left Bible College (seminary) 7 years ago...

From your writing, you sound like you are a lot of fun and full of life! That's probably why you enjoy youth ministry so much...more than likely, the kids find you exciting and interesting. This is what all Pastor's and parents want for their youth: that they will find a role model in the church that will not only appeal to their youth but wll also set a good example. If I had to guess, that's probably where most of your pressure is coming from: you can feel the disappointment of the older people and that you're not measuring up to their expectations.

I don't usually offer unsolicited advice, but you did ask for it, so here goes: Stick to your guns about not changing your convictions to simply please others. You're right on track...our convictions should be shaped by the Word of God and the speaking of the Holy Spirit in our lives. That being said, I would also encourage you to make these areas a matter of sincere prayer and Bible study. Ask yourself if these activities that you mentioned are edifying to your spirit. Would the Holy Spirit be pleased? Be ready for answers that you don't like. More often than not, the Holy Spirit calls us to a life of holiness and separation that can seem difficult to our carnal natures. You must determine within yourself that you will be obedient to His voice no matter what He says. That's really what it comes down to...not what someone else thinks.

I would also encourage you to show some grace towards those that you feel have a condemning attitude towards you. As you said yourself, if your youth pastor's wife had stumbled when you were apart of the youth group it would have hurt you tremendously. These older, sometimes wiser, saints are just trying to help. They've been on this road a little longer and their convictions may not have been simply handed down to them; they might be the result of hard fought battles where their flesh was crucified in a very violent and bloody way. It's hard for them to understand how someone in your position doesn't have the same convictions. They may see the root cause of some of these seemingly "little" things and they fear where they will take you.

My dear, I understand your struggle to balance the public you and being yourself. I, too, struggle with the same question of which "me" to be. I want to be honest in the presentation of who I am, but yet I want people to continue to respect me and accept my leadership...where is that line??? I can't say that I've got all the answers, but I do have the assurance that God doesn't call the equipped...He equips the called. I know that my husband and I are called and my role is to trust Him to lead me and help me to make the right decisions. I just have to trust Him.

I would also like to encourage you to listen to and read books by Nancy Leigh Demoss. She has helped me tremendously in my walk with God. She has a very balanced yet spirit led approach to everything she does.

I hope this helps. If you love the ministry as you say you do, I know you'll be just fine...I'll be praying for you.

Misti

I often describe my life as a tragicomedy ;)

lauriewrites — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:26:10 -0500

So that explains the light spots in the heavy stuff. I'd be unbearable to myself and the rest of humanity without them.

I'm having visions of translating Buddhist koans into LOLspeak and I'm trying to resist. ;)

Laurie

I almost bought that book once.

lauriewrites — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:21:54 -0500

I'll have to poke around for it on Amazon. I went to a Marianist university for graduate school and have a fondness for Mary stories.

I love the term "holy space."

Laurie

Thanks, Mata...

lauriewrites — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 23:19:38 -0500

I love that I'm comfortable enough to see the good while I still decide what's no longer right for me. And that ability is really a testament to the faith and goodness i was raised with from the people in my life. That's what helps me keep those good feelings, I know.

Laurie

Thank you

DCSweetie — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 15:17:29 -0500

DCSweetie (http://dcsweetie.blogspot.com/)

This is beautiful. There really is something to be said for the blood of those other women flowing through our veins, isn't there? I love how you could have such a serious topic to post about, but still worked in "kthxbai". I want my God to speak in LOL too! :)

beautiful

jessica.schafer — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 14:12:49 -0500

Thanks for sharing this. Its such a good reminder that sometimes despite all of our mental/intellectual disagreements with organized relgion, the mystery and holy space they can provide is still there and can still touch us. What you wrote on the back of your check book is beautiful.

As sort of a side note, I recently read a book called Our Lady of the Lost and Found by Diane Schoemperlen. The basic storyline is really interesting, because the main character
receives a visit from Mary, the Mother of Jesus, who just needs a place
to stay for a brief vacation. A major theme of the book is recovering the mystery of the faith, without having to accept or conform to organized religion and in this book the Catholic church.

In Between Words

http://jessicaschafer.wordpress.com

Laurie, Laurie

Mata H — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 12:23:02 -0500

Sometimes I think the flaws are what makes us beautiful. They certainly are what makes us real. I love the song by Leonard Cohen that says "there is a crack in everything -- that's how the light gets in, that's how the light gets in."

I'm an ex-RCC too -- and have my own lover's quarrel with organized religion -- but the homing instincts that landed you in a cathedral are probably part of the gift of "mystical awe" that all us exes seem to get. It is like a seed that sprouts when we most need it and helps us connect to whatever is greater than we are.

My prayers are with you as you find your own path though these days.

~~ Contributing Editor, Mata H. also blogs right along at Time's Fool

Hang in there

kazzles — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 17:54:42 -0500

Hi, I came across your blog today and wanted to encourage you to hang in there. I don't live in your country (but might be moving so I'm curious about a lot to do with church culture etc) and find it fascinating the whoe "Pastor's Wife" thing. It's not that same overseas and I don't know if that helps you at all to know. I know when I get frustrated with things in my culture it helps to know that it's not the same all around the world. I think continue to seek God and be who he's created you to be. My old Pastor Bobbie Houston from Hillsong in Sydney has done exactly that and I think she's given my generation of women the freedom to be themselves in ministry which is a pretty cool thing. I read her book when I was 25 and I'm so pleased I did - "I'll have what she's having" is the book - read it!

God has created you to reach certain people and he's equipped you with all you need to do that!

Latest Update

fmaggi — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:38:26 -0600

So, the Vatican came out today & said that the Medical Doctor's Paper was fraudulent. The Doctors returned that that is an insult.
So, the Pope chimed in to restate the position (all fetuses be saved), and to influence the upcoming elections against the Left-Wing party.
Walter Veltroni (ex-Mayor of Rome who is running for Prime Minister as head of the Democratic Party) continued repeating that Italy is a secular state.
No news on what happened to the woman and police in Naples.

francesca maggi
burntbythetuscansun