BlogHer - rebecca land soodak - Comments

Overshare?

momtrends — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:24:36 -0500

While, I respect her honesty, I do belive it was more publicity stunt than anything else. And I too am addicted to having help. Be it tha babysitters at the Y, a permanent sitter, or family, taking a break from my spawn makes me a better mom, wife and woman.

www.momtrends.blogspot.com

Rebecca

Gingerlouiseclothing — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 21:19:37 -0500

Hi, I would like to add my thoughts in for what they are worth. Since when do we all believe what we read in the Times and why are so many seemingly intelligent women being so judgemental of another woman. Who knows how she was feeling when she posted that ad, who knows what she has been thru with nannys in the past. I live on the uppper east side of NY. I had a great nanny for a few years, I was lucky. I ran a business up here for 20 years. I know many, many upper east side women and many nannys. Based on this knowledge, I found her post to be extremely funny. Rebecca happens to be a good friend of mine. I am not rich like her, we come from two different worlds. It doesn't matter, I couldn't ask for a better friend. She has a heart of gold and is very generous. She is a great listener and isn't afraid to ask for help. As far as her family goes, they are a normal loving family. She is a great mother. She is caring and fun and is a friend and wife to her husband. She is down to earth and loves her children and is a huge part of their lives, it makes me sad to see how out of hand this thing has gotton. Aren't we suppose to treat each other kindly and try to be understanding. Who is anybody to judge. I know I am not perfect and I only hope I am as good as a mother to my one child as Rebecca is to her four.

She'd be first on my list!

zip_n_tizzy — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:04:36 -0500

As a former nanny for families throughout CA, San Francisco, and NYC, I would absolutely reply to that ad!

Nannying is a hard job, as is mothering. The kids are frequently a pain in the ass, and so are the parents. But, you all work together and try and make it work. If the pay is good and so are the hours (face it, nannying is often about the hours...) then it can be a very good way to put ones self through school, or try and support a freelance job. Both reasons that I nannied in the past.

She's no nonsense... I like that about her. Something that has to be recognised by all nanny's... the people you work for are going to be rich.... or they at least better be rich enough to pay you a living wage! You accept that, and it's not a problem. Worse are the parents who don't recognise the value of their nanny's and expect them to go above and beyond for rediculously long hours at very little pay.

She's offering a very good exchange. A NYC studio can eat up an entire salary in and of itself. The hours are fantastic, and she recognises that she's obligated to pay for anything extra (frequently overlooked, which is why I was never a live in nanny.)

She acknowledges her family has it's problems. As a mom, I can't think of any that don't.

I think she's funny and raw and lays it on the table.

As I said before, it's not an easy job. It's emotional, and exhausting, but when handled properly, can be very rewarding, and she seems to understand all of that.

Everyone would be a lot

Kristen DeDeyn Kirk — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 10:41:36 -0500

Everyone would be a lot happier if every employer were this honest: This is what I'm like. This is what it's like to work here. I want you to do this. I don't want you to do that. What do you think? You can survive me and this place? Great! I think we'll all be happy.

That would be so much better than pretending to be perfect and flexible and giving when you're not really that way at all. Kudos to this woman for being honest. I think she will get a book deal because she offers what people want in what they read: Truthfulness!

She'll write the somewhat antidote to the Nanny Diaries. I say somewhat because she sounds much better than the moms in that book -- hopefully no delusions about her husband's love, her standing in society, her children's desires, and no drug using.

Kristen at www.thefamilythatreadstogether.blogspot.com

comprehension

uppitymom — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 15:07:16 -0500

I read Rebecca Land soodak's craigslist post and the New York Times article. I am stunned that so much of America has taken the Times interpretation for what Soodak was saying. I think her point was that no one is perfect, and she then went on to list the normal imperfections and idiosyncracies in her family. When someone is working in your home, it is an intimiate relationship, one that works best if people are somewhat like minded. It seems that Soodak's biggest crime is not that crumbs irritate her, but that she has money. She says she doesn't want to be judged for her parenting but she does want help with the details of keeping track of her kids library books etc. She said that nannies won't love her kids as if they are their own, not because the kids are unlovable, but because they are hers, not the nannies.

Why is it okay to villify this woman? I would argue because america loves to hate wealthy white women, particularly mothers. Painter of privilidge? What does that mean? That she is a rich painter? Is that code for bad? Soodak said that the nanny and mother would get the kids out together in the morning and do the whole afternoon thing together. That doesn't sound like a woman who is absent, uncaring or wanting someone else to do everything.

I guess I had such a different take on her post.

Two other points:

She said at the end of her post that if you are still reading the long ad, maybe it means she is a decent writer and that she'll get that book deal she's yearning for. Is it me, or is she saying that she wants a book deal not for the post, but because she is a writer?

And, when she wrote that she didn't want to be taught about parenting, but was teachable about other things (yoga, russian literature, etc.) wasn't she just saying that she wants a team player, not a know it all. As a mom, I am so sick of everyone having an opinion on how I raise my kids. My kid swears sometimes too. I do not want Miss Perfect in my house chastising me for his slip of the tongue!

Oh yeah, and Rita Arens, do you think having four kids might be a tad more difficult than having one? More after school things? More cuddles? More birthday parties and homework? More limit setting, especially is there is ADHD in the family.

Then again, forget it, it's just so much more fun, and a lot easier to hate the rich bitch who wrote a hilarious honest ad detailing the frustrations of life with normal kids. (Those unruly kids wanted soda, which Soodak said no to, but still she is a terrible mother, and those rich kids must be hateful as well!) Meow.

Nannies Aren't Mommies

Simply_B — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 18:06:02 -0500

I couldn't agree more with the um, not thanks. Nannies aren't mommies and don't have to love obnoxious brats unconditonally. That's mommies job and no paycheck will ever change that.

Life According to B

Look, I'm Not A Mom

Megan Smith — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:58:40 -0500

I'm not a Mom, but I've been around kids and I know kids who are adorable and well behaved---the ones who are a pleasure to be with, and kids who are obnoxious brats who are allowed to run the household---the ones you couldn't pay me to be around. Oh, wait that's what nannies are, aren't they? People who are paid to not only be around kids, but look after their well being?

In my experience the difference between the first set of kids and the second set of kids are parents who steadfastly believe in loving discipline and aren't afraid of the word, "No."

I don't think this particular Mom needed a nanny so much as some parenting classes, 'cause honestly the nannies in this situation don't seem to be the problem at all.

Megan Smith
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/YouTube
Megan's Minute: Quirky Commentary Around The Clock

Mommy Mocking Mommies

rebellious thinker — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:03:20 -0500

I read the posting and thought it was hysterical and a wonderful twist on the mommies who claim that their children are just a joy to the world every minute of the day. I liked her honesty, you know, sometimes kids do get to you. The problem with working for this woman, you would probably want to hang out with the mom and not the kids.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com