BlogHer - stress - Comments

...Some People Never Will

Shannon Des Roches Rosa — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:26:09 -0600

@Carmen But we can still keep trying, and talking and blogging about the accommodations our kids need -- sometimes people can't process past their defensiveness in the moment, though it sinks in later. Straight talk like that @Kristen cited helps, I think.

The holidays are also a time to let people know that the r-word, 'retarded,' is no longer acceptable. My brothers used the word countless times during their Christmas visit. I tried barbed humor, "I don't know, Leo, do you think what your uncle said was retarded?" but eventually had to ask them to please stop, and tell them why. Yet I have no doubt they still use it when my son or I are not around.

I have faith that the people in our kids' lives will come around eventually. I have to.

Shannon Des Roches Rosa
Squidalicious.com parenting first, autism second
CanISitWithYou.org real tales of schoolyard terror and triumph

Yes and Yes

Carmen S — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:54:04 -0600

"Sometimes, she just needs to be alone."

It's a refrain that I find myself repeating again and again - and sometimes, people STILL don't get it. I don't care, anymore - they can watch her melt down with me and then, maybe, they'll understand.

Or maybe not. Some people never will.

Christmas should be lots of

midnightbliss — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:17:18 -0600

Christmas should be lots of fun for kids, but sometimes, due to traditions, we forget that unlike as adults, kids get stressed out easily with the sudden changes in their activities.you have here great tips and we may all have a blessed, fun and dtress free holidays.

Another timely post!!

kristenspina — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 12:17:51 -0600

Thanks Shannon for such a timely post. Coping with the Holidays was the topic of our local special needs parents support group meeting this week. Someone handed out copies of this wonderful letter written by Viki Gayhardt. I had to google it to find the source, but it's worth reading. I love the way she phrases this:

"Sometimes I may seem rude and abrupt, but it is only because I have to try so hard to understand people and at the same time, make myself understood. people with autism have different abilities: some may not speak, some write beautiful poetry, others are whizzes in math (Albert Einstein was thought to be autistic), or have difficulty making friends. we are all different and need various degrees of support."

Great Tips

ThePrudentPatron — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:14:15 -0600

We often forget what we are doing to contribute to the tantrums! Thanks for all the great tips.

Brittany at theprudentpatron.blogspot.com

"You have enough time"

Laurie PK — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 09:03:36 -0600

Hi Amy,

When I read your title about reducing stress for kids at Christmas, I thought "What a brilliant idea for an article!" Then, I read your post and was so pleased that you linked to the article I wrote for Suite about reducing kids stress...thank you. :-)

My favorite way to manage stress -- whether I'm traveling, meeting work deadlines, feeling pressured to get dinner on the table while everything's still hot, etc -- is to take a deep breath and tell myself, "You have enough time. Everything will get done and it will be fine...because you have enough time."

For some reason, this works for me. And, when I'm less stressed, so are the people around me...

Thanks for this post!

Laurie

See Jane Soar!

Great post!

mrssharp — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:01:40 -0600

I hope that all of us have a less stressful Christmas. Gifts and rushing is not what it should be about. It should be about making memories and family.

Lisa Sharp
www.RetroHousewifeGoesGreen.com

I don't handle stress well myself

Amy Gates — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:54:09 -0600

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder and know I don't handle stress well. I can already see tendencies in my kids to have difficulty with stress management and I realize how important it is for them that I model good behavior. It's definitely a work in progress.

I really liked the tip about learning relaxation techniques with your kids. I think turning on a calming CD or practicing some breathing exercises is wonderful idea that will help all of us now and will give them some tools to relay on as they get older too. I'm going to make a point to work on that.

I also think the tip for leaving plenty of time for traveling is so important. I know I get totally stressed out every time I travel, whether it's with my kids or not, because I don't give myself enough time. This is especially important during the holidays, when everyone and their sister is headed to the airport.

Amy
Crunchy Domestic Goddess
BlogHers Act contributing editor

That's one of the reasons why

sassymonkey — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:09:26 -0600

We host Christmas dinner. I can control the situation to a point. Plus I can hide in the kitchen and do all the prep and there really isn't much room in there so...I kick everyone out of it. I get to decompress a little and they get to socialize. It's win-win.

(Thankfully, no kids. So I don't have to worry about what I'm passing on to them about that.)

Sassymonkey and Sassymonkey Reads.

I'm with you Jenna

Denise — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 09:46:49 -0600

I have to get away from the noise and the crowd. Looking at my oldest kids, I think I've kind of trained them to do that too. Or maybe it wasn't training and they just inherited my need to step away for a bit?

~Denise BlogHer Community Manager
Flamingo House Happenings

Great Post!

JennaHatfield — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 08:33:14 -0600

Of course, this line made me cringe:

Cope with your own holiday anxiety. The less Christmas stress you feel, the more relaxed your children will be.

Uh, yeah. I'm not great with holiday anxiety. Even as a teenager, after a meal I would go up to my room and read or play a game or do anything to avoid the general hub-bub of having all of my family members in one house. I struggle with it even now.

Should be an interesting challenge... but at least I have it in my mind. Thanks!

@FireMom from Stop, Drop and Blog and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

To be successsful, honor your people

paulag01 — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:28:25 -0500

Hi Michelle,

Thanks for sharing your story. Unfortunately it is all too common. Smart companies, the true innovators need to honor their PEOPLE because that is what makes them successful long term (and not just give it lip service).

Wishing you the best.

Paula Gregorowicz
The Paula G Company
http://www.thepaulagcompany.com

Learn 5 Steps to Move from Fear to Freedom (free)

Exploited by the company

Southerngirl — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:16:19 -0500

Many employees who are left find themselves exploited by the company. Companies use this time to restructure or take away benefits as well as not giving out raises. My company went through a layoff and we were informed a few months after through the president's newletter that we would not be receiving raises. The thing he forgot to mention was that he was getting a 3mil raise that same year. Then there were the cuts to travel and benefit contributions went up ( with no raise we had to eat that) everything had to be trimmed. The truth is they are using this extra to dump into innovation and research so that the company can be poised to gain market share and reposition when the downturn ends. They know that companies that are really hurting are in survival mode. The thing is this all comes on our backs. In a few years new hires will probaly be making as much if not more than those that have been here a while. I have heard this from a lot of others as well. The comapny knows that they cannot make these changes during good times and keep people so they count on you to be so happy to have kept your job that there will be no backlash. Meanwhile many people, myself included are making less than we did a year ago. I did mention that my CEO got a $3mil raise?

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

I love food-way too much!

mfreston — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 22:07:15 -0500

I am so addicted to food and eat emotionally. I always have, and I believe it was passed down to me by my mother who also admits to it. I suffer from depression/anxiety as well as Bulimia since I was 16. This combinaton of addiction to food-eating when my anxiety level is high/I'm depressed is deadly and it's been such a HARD thing for me to overcome. I feel hopeless sometimes. I don't know what to replace my food for...music? yoga? How do you break something you've done for so long?

Thank you for your post! I'm going to start a journal and see if it helps!

Mindi :)

thank you

womenonthefence — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 20:00:16 -0500

Ladies, I wanted to thank you for your feedback. I'm glad the post got you stimulated, thinking and writing. As all of you, I wish the very best for Elizabeth Edwards. I wish her health, happiness and fulfillment. I'm glad to see as women, we can all have a voice. I cherish all your voices. Love, Erica www.WomenOnTheFence.com xoxEDxox