BlogHer - work - Comments

Work

Mersea — Sun, 12 Oct 2008 10:25:55 -0500

I have a suggestion for work: Pet/House sitting and companion sitting. I am unable to work a regular job so I do Pet Sitting mainly. I get between $35 and $50 a day when I do a job. Right now I am starting a Pet sitting job: 5 days at $50 a day equals $250. I will be taking my art supplies with me and spend the day drawing and pencil painting.

Some jobs are by the visit-go by the house and feed the critters. Some jobs are overnight, these jobs can be for 12 night, others for 2 weeks. Client pays for food. You can come and go if you want. Also I do some Companion sitting.

Just a thought.

Julia Ruane-Smith

www.aheartofmersea.etsy.com www.aheartofmersea.blogspot.com www.aheartofmersea.com

I want to whine.

mothercrone — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 20:26:29 -0500

Yes, I could get off my behind and get my advanced degree, follow the original plan. My mother went back for a bachelor's in nursing roughly 17 years after graduating high school, three kids at home, and my father enlisted military. But since A's death, I'm faced with the fact that if we're going to try to have another child, I've basically got a three year window to get in shape, get our house in order (physically and financially) and at that time P will be about kindergarten age.

I cannot envision a future where I return to school before I'm thirty-five, and it will be questionable whether at that point I can make up the earning potential from these lost childbearing years, which is all the worse for the fact I don't have the children to show for it.

Not Lovin' It

Tacomamama — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 18:07:54 -0500

Yeah. I definitely did not love law school, it did not love me, and when faced with the growing sprog in my belly and the unpleasant reality of interviewing for legal jobs, the choice at the time was simple.

It was the loooong choice afterward that was hard, the acknowledgment, over time, that I really wasn't going back to it and the process of trying to forgive myself for that. The legal industry shuts that door pretty handily by providing no mechanism through which an inexperienced attorney would break back in after taking time off to raise children. You get a job your senior year of law school or soon thereafter, or you do not exist. I tried to muster the motivation to break through that door and found that it just was not there.

I am not surprised to see the statistic that less than half of women with JD's and 2 or more children are employed full time 15 years after graduation.

Tacoma Mama

Kitchen Table Issues

Another Idea

Kathy333 — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 10:25:01 -0500

I wonder if part of this is that they spend so much time getting their degrees as opposed to someone with a straight Masters degree that perhaps they can't get out even if they want to. I mean, what else will they do?

An example: My ob/gyn was very frustrated with her job when I was pregnant with my second. She wanted to quit because she said she never got to see her children due to all the hours she worked but she couldn't get out because there was nothing that she could do that would bring in the money she was making. We get used to our level, whether we make $65K a year or $200K. It could be as easy as not being able to imagine doing something that would not bring in that type of paycheck.

I also agree with Mir. I'm in the same boat, got my advanced degree early, as did husband. Then decided to stay at home with kids. I wasn't happy in my job (teaching) and did not want to teach any longer. I feel I rushed into that degree for a variety of reasons and wish I had done something else in the beginning. If I had spent additional years studying medicine I don't know that changing careers would have been as easy.

Kathy

Mama Marathoner

Allbusiness:Working Mothers

A matter of love?

Mir Kamin — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 09:14:54 -0500

As an "educated woman," myself, I always thought one of the most obvious factors here is often overlooked.

First, let's assume that highly-educated women, by and large, tend to marry similarly highly-educated men. So money is often not a huge issue -- the salaries in play are excellent, for the most part.

Next, let's assume that many folks (not doctors and vets and dentists, which have the highest retention rate) finish their schooling in their mid-twenties.

Are you the same person now that you were in your twenties?

I'm sure as heck not -- and what I completed my Masters in when I was 23 was something that didn't manage to, shall we say, completely hold my interest. So when I had the option -- thanks to a high-earning husband -- to step off the career track to raise my kids, it was a no-brainer. Because I loved the kids, and (by that time) did not love my career.

And we had the money to afford this, and I had the brains to know that when I was ready to go back, I'd figure it out.

Now my kids are older and I have a completely different career than what I'd pictured when I was a fetus in grad school. And I know many women with similar stories.

Could it just be that the less demanding/time-consuming degrees catapult us into careers early on that end up not being compatible with our long-term interests? And that as a group, this demographic tends to be able to afford a bit of opting-out while we raise our kids and grow up, ourselves?

--
Mir Kamin
(BlogHer contributing editor)

Personal: Woulda Coulda Shoulda

Having it all with less: Want Not

You are so kind Queen1

JulieAtSmartNowcom — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:50:35 -0500

Thank you for posting this.

It Must Be Fate

Queen1 — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 20:56:01 -0500

Queen1

www.whenwearequeen.squarespace.com

Somebody's gottta step up to the plate.

Julie,

How odd. I just posted a short blog on feeling like my life is getting ready to change...maybe. And it will be ok if it does and ok if it doesn't. But a year ago, I was deep in the mud, wondering how I ended up where I am, when it wasn't where I was "supposed" to be. I appreciate so much your introspection and then your willingness to share it with us.

I have to tell you, when you said you were the one responsible for the sock puppet, I didn't think "failure" or "loser" at all. I thought, "Wow! That's incredible!" You achieved far more than many--you have reason to be proud of yourself. I have a wise friend who would say that at any point in your journey, you really don't know if it is a "good" thing or a "bad" thing. Because you don't know what happens next, and you don't know what might have happened (and been worse!) if you hadn't made the decisions you did. It's sounds so incredibly trite, but it's true--the only people who succeed are the people who have the courage and vision to fail.

Good for you--and thanks again for sharing.

Needed Validation

jheat — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 19:58:46 -0500

Thanks for this post. I only wish I'd found it before I left for my own ambivalent vacation!

Yes

brobinsson — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 10:41:03 -0500

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I can't agree more with Mujeres' article. Why not? Everybody has a hidden agenda, even children, who slowly learn hot to manipulate their way into what they want. Instead of using the power of manipulation in a negative way, why not do it in a constructive positive way. We all need to plan for our futures, and we, in one way or another, cooperate towards someone else's plans. The phrase "I scratch your back, you scratch mine" is bilateral, it goes both ways. But as it turns out, most of us are sick of scratching without asking someone to scratch us back.

getting hers

Kel — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:18:45 -0500

I too fought a losing battle with a company I was a part of. It is hard to give and give only to know that you are underappreacated and undervalued. You did what you could and in the end you were the bigger person who didn't cause a scene when you left...yes, karma does come back to bite you in the ass sometimes.

wow

JulieAtSmartNowcom — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 08:03:28 -0500

I'm really touched that so many are finding this inspiring. Thanks for letting me know.

Trouble on both sides

DCSweetie — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 07:43:06 -0500

DCSweetie (http://dcsweetie.blogspot.com/)

As someone of Generation Y also trying to manage a group of slightly younger Y-ers, I can see the issues on both sides...from the older crowd, a needless focus on "paper" "things you can hold" etc., while seeing things like online branding as extra. Also, this generation seems to believe that there is such a thing as brand loyalty...maybe there is but we're all also a lot more ADD than even 10 years ago.

That being said, Gen-Y employees often act as if by working 40 hours they are doing their manager a favor. I actually got called out by an employee because I asked him to work until 5! "I just feel like there are other things I could be doing!"

This topic needs to be discussed in college!

Truly inspiring...

mara — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 07:15:30 -0500

Thank you for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to admit our mistakes and I admire anyone who can pick themselves up and move on. You don't let them define you and that shows how strong you really are. I will take this advice and save it for the times I need to be inspired.

Mara

http://24stepstogo.blogspot.com/

such a powerful statement!

mariposakp — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:50:34 -0500

This was really inspiring. I think as women who function outside of society's stereotypical expectations it's crucial that we share our stories and create as well as build upon this discourse. You are an inspiration!

Wonderful advice

megstar — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 01:31:36 -0500

Thank you for sharing what you have learned, it's advice that I am going to keep. It is so easy to lose yourself when things go wrong, and i'm really glad that you have come back to yourself. You have given some really wonderful advice, and i hope that it reminds women not to forget to take care of themselves when it really matters.

Megan

arollerskatingjam.blogspot.com