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http://mynext50.blogspot.com

elizabethsekagray — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:53:27 -0500

Security

My therapist talked about how we build this security and it is really all just a big sham. Today as my future looms in front of me, a gigantic, blinking, neon question mark, I think about all of those things I did to feel secure.

I moved out and got my first apartment when I was 20. Some people stay at home for security, others move out, I was an other. I was still in art school (at this point on my dime), working part time at an advertising agency, a job I found by calling every advertising agency in the phonebook. Call number 72 needed someone for 6 weeks while his “girl” (it was a long time ago), was out recovering from a hysterectomy (he probably said “female problem”). I was in (the job), and out (of the house). I didn’t have money for food (but I had enough for cigarettes, again, it was a long time ago, and a cleaning woman, I have my priorities!), did that stop me? NO!

I bought a house when my last roommate moved out and stiffed me with 2 months rent, after all as she explained “how was she going to have her rent money and security deposit if she paid what she owed me?” I was never going to be put in that position again. I would own my own place. I had credit card debt and no savings, did that stop me? NO!

I got married at 30. Love and numbers would keep me safe, now there were 2 of us and that’s double the safety, right? We started to add to our security pile, life insurance, bank accounts, a big sweet Yellow Lab. I didn’t really know how to be an adult (what with being raised by wolves and all), but did that stop me? NO!

Over the years we have bought real estate in Hawaii (Maui and the big island), Florida and the Jersey shore. Real estate is the ultimate security, right? Well, maybe not right now, but hopefully soon. Amassing a ton of security (debt). Mortgages, condo fees, taxes, the triple crown of insurance (wind, flood and fire), they all come with strings attached. Some of them I have never even seen, none of them pay for themselves, but did that stop me? NO!

We had a child that we both love and adore. You would be hard pressed to find a kid more loved and adored. We can move in the family world knowing we belong, school, karate, piano, camp, braces, the whole deal. We are securely a family now. We had no idea what to do with a child, and cried more than he did the first couple of months, but did that stop us from having another one? HELL YES! Even I have my limits, after all this is a real human being, not just a plot of land.

You really can’t build security with things. I have tried, and tried, and tried, believe you me, none of this can help me now. Or can it? Because as I re-read this I no longer see security, but I do see a willingness to try new things, a real risk taker with an extremely strong drive to move forward. And isn’t that what I really need right now? Nice to be reminded of this, I really needed it this morning. - Beth @ http://mynext50.blogspot.com

I started blogging to

Journey2mymba — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 22:35:41 -0500

I started blogging to attract mentors into my life. So far so good.

Gosh How Brave

jodevizes — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 12:53:16 -0500

I never thought I would see somebody criticise the great Oprah. Well done I quite agree, even the books she choses are somewhat light weight. But I guess that is why she has mass appeal, style over substance.

Jo Devizes from London www.yourpower2be.com

What about using aphrodisiacs?

LexiYoga — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 13:37:26 -0500

Ever tried natural herbs or forms of aphrodisiacs to help improve your sex life? Mainly your sexual appetite......

Chewing on licorice root is a great aphrodisiac that's been used to revive lingering sexual desire for centuries.

Anyone want to try it?

http://lexiyoga.com/natural-herbs/licorice

Great wrap-up and reminder

Maria Niles — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 17:31:14 -0500

I was happy to participate in this series and your wrap up is a reminder that there are lots of great posts in this series worth a re-visit.

Thanks, Paula!

BlogHer Contributing Editor
PopConsumer
Beyond Help

...and you're still alive!

sylinthecity — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 10:21:51 -0500

It's true! Nice advice.

http://www.somewherethesunisrising.com

Moms Organizing

allisoncarter — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 09:05:51 -0500

Great ideas here!

If you want an alternative to The Fly Lady, you can try The Clutter Diet. It is a organizing program with emails, workbooks and a forum where you can get help from professional organizers. They answer your specific organizing questions and give support on the forum.

Relationships...Oh Boy...

sandhillsis — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 09:25:56 -0500

That topic is as deep as it is wide. I've been married 14 years and my husband is about 180 degrees different than he was when we met. But then, so am I. Nothing in my life is how I dreamed it would be 10 years ago. Time and circumstances change so quickly, only character traits remain mostly unchanged.

Where will we be in 10 years? Still together, no doubt. If we learned anything from the first 14 it how to show grace at every opportunity and how to ebb, flow and laugh. A lot.

It's important to look ahead. Sandhill Sis

www.reclaimsimplicity.com

Discover how rich and hilarious life can be when it's simple. Tales and tips on making money mind, riding the recycle, simple food, homegrown music, gardening and more.

Yes. I've been thinking

RebeccaKeenan — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 23:55:04 -0500

Yes. I've been thinking about writing a post about the fallacy of the sisterhood. I attended an all-girl highschool and can attest to the viciousness of girls. Recently, I've experienced some personal backlash from a bit of snark in one of my posts. The thing is that the women offended have just cut me off -- no discussion, no reasoning, nothing. Men would never do that. I'll have to refer back to this.

Rebecca

Check in with me regularly.

playgroundconfidential.com

search engines

Kerry Anne Ducey — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 08:43:57 -0500

Kerry Anne Ducey

Thanks!

everyone has one of this in their life

forkspoonnknife — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 11:35:04 -0500

I can totally relate to this post and so can anyone. everyone seems to have one such toxicity in their life. I feel it is easier to handle it if the person is family or friend than someone from work especially someone senior to you. I have successfully managed to distance myself or atleast build a shield around myself with ppl outside professional life. But I find it hard to find a solution to the problem when faced with it at work esp when the person has a bigger say in the firm than you do. there are so many ways any measure can backfire on you that sometimes it feels like just putting up with it may have lesser cost associated...

FSK

http://forkspoonnknife.blogspot.com/

Hey Julie

Tre - — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 13:54:04 -0500

I feel and hear so much of what you're saying Julie.....and I actually blog a lot about this kind of thing.... I feel like I penned the same words a year ago....even 6mos ago..like walking around in this abyss of surface doing what needs to get done and yet feeling like you're falling down a black hole....and relationships if any feel empty....

I want to offer something....please forgive the 1 way nature of comments and the talking at seeming ....trying to feel like i'm sitting on a couch sipping tea or coffee with you having a heart to heart.

You know where you wrote "i don't know what to do?"

That very thought is what would paralyze and imprison all of us. It's big. huge. and is really a reaction to a lot of unknowns which we are ALLOWED to feel...it's just that no one gives us permission to announce "hey there. I'm going about my day to day with a lot of unknowns. how you doin?"

Sorry to get surface. My point: when the thought comes "I dont' know what to do with my life" or any of the biggies, stop...pause....hug your heart, hug yourself....

YOU DO KNOW this MOMENT what to do to take you to the NEXT moment.

Maybe it means taking a deep breath. Maybe you need to walk outside and stare at the clouds or snow or rain or sun. Maybe you need to clean your bathroom or do some wash.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU CHOOSE in this moment...but what you are doing mentally and physically is refusing to be imprisonned or paralyzed in this stronghold of unknown and its sentence of immobility.

You are not being asked in this moment to make major decisions with your life. You are being asked to BE.

And maybe you're rolling your eyes and saying "great but how the hell is that supposed to help my finances or help me find love or help me get out of the funk w/ my mom"....I know I know.....it can seem ludicrous.

But life is really about that moment to moment conscious affirmation that you are empowered with all you need this very moment to move forward in a way that is progressive...even if it means you sit there all day saying "I don't know what I"m supposed to do in the bigger picture but right now I do know what I need to do."

A friend used to do this to me...when I would say 'i don't know what to do" she would come right back with "yes you do. yes you do. claim that you do.'

I got frustrated when she'd do this. But you know, she was actually giving me permission to assert my strength as a woman. My decisiveness. And she wouldn't tolerate when I'd act helpless.

Now not for a second am I suggesting you are acting helpless. But just as much as we may feel stuck, we can feel unstuck by affirming that we do know what we need to do..and then take baby steps ONE STEP AT A TIME in a certain direction.

If you wanna chat more on any of this, email me at tre at thought by thought dot net.

I soooo get these feelings...working through some right now actually....and so I'm hugging you for your courage and willingness.....you are moving forward....know that. ;)

Tre~

tw: @tresha

fb: http://facebook.com/treshathorsen

e: tre@thoughtbythought.net

blog: http://thoughtbythought.net

Thank you

JulietR — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:54:00 -0500

Thank you for your reply. I do speak to someone and it has helped. And I keep fighting to get back to where I was. I'm pretty stubborn about what I want. The support on this site is wonderful also.

Some good search engine resources

Virginia DeBolt — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 08:02:15 -0500

http://www.blogher.com/basic-search-engine-optimization-seo-tactics
http://www.blogher.com/node/25222
http://www.blogher.com/findability-your-blog-findable-possible

Virginia DeBolt
BlogHer CE
Web Teacher
First 50 Words
@vdebolt

Wordpress/traffic/stats

Kerry Anne Ducey — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 21:20:44 -0500

Kerry Anne Ducey

I use Wordpress and google analytics. I can interpret so much from these stats..where are the hits/when/how long do folks stay on and where are they coming from. I like being able to see where my link is making giving me the most bang for my buck.

I realize this is a bit off topic, but I'm having trouble getting picked up by search engines. Suggestions?

Kerry