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After losing an unborn child to a common virus

Crunchy Carpets — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:53:24 -0500

I am extra paranoid about 'common' things like ANY flus etc...

With school age kids AND a baby at home we are living in paranoia of hand washing, no touching, etc...

I never worried before and never bothered with the flu shots..but will be getting this one for the whole family..mainly to protect the baby

Look for me at http://crunchycarpets.com or check out the ladies at www.wetcoastwomen.com

whether pregnant or not or

midnightbliss — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 16:07:50 -0500

whether pregnant or not or we are in constant contact with a pregnant woman or not, we should always take precautions and take care of our selves. One way we can avoid this flue virus is through cleanliness and avoiding crowded places.

Flu Stuff

clearness — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:10:31 -0500

I know of one child who has had the swine flu. He is two years old. He was really sick for about three days. Then just really sleepy and lazy for about 6 additional days. He didn't want to eat, but would drink water. He drank lots of water. Anyway, now he's fine.

Nobody really knows why some people are so much more effected by this strain, but most people do recover.

I was waiting for this post...

snigdhasen — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 15:10:02 -0500

Thanks! All docs I have spoken to have insisted that if you are pregnant, get both shots. It's better and no harm done. So...

I really wish that the CBC report is not validated. We are already in a panic mode. That will really drive everyone crazy.

Tightening the rope

lindows06 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:04:25 -0500

I really enjoyed reading your post. I also came seeing how damaging this credit crisis as they call it has been on everyone across the world. Its hard to read about families being displaced and relocated just to find a job that may not last longer for a season. People are struggling to seek some sort of additional aid to keep no only themselves a float, but loveones that they care about. I read in the New York Times, recently about a woman who ran a homeless shelter but do the lack of govt aid, soon found herself homeless. My prayers and heart goes out to her, and know brighter days are ahead. Yet, I will try by best until then to help and find ways to help those who have been hit hard by this global disaster.

Great Post

Wonderful!

Britt Bravo — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:30:25 -0500

Thanks so much for sharing your post, Anna (:

Posted!

PositivelyAnna — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 21:16:06 -0500

I enjoyed writing that! Thanks for the suggestion.

Anna B

http://positivelyanna.blogspot.com/

Obsession? What?

micrimas — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 09:45:18 -0500

Mel you made excellent points here.

My sons were born at 36 2 weeks and did not stay in the NICU. We were very lucky for that.

I can tell you two things: "why don't you just adopt" sickens me. It basically costs the same to adopt (excepting DSS adoptions) as it does surrogacy and infertility treatments, especially in the Northeast, where it is nearly impossible to domestically adopt. There are literally no infants available. Second: Using the word "obsessed" with regard to family building sickens me. At no time, would my DH or I do "anything it took" to create a family. We tried various routes. We never coerced nor begged our surrogate to take the fertility meds that created our twins after many rounds of unsuccessful clinical IUIs. Our RE was ethical. My sons are a blessing. We would have NEVER done anything unethical at all in regards to building our family.

We would have accepted, had our surrogate not concieved, and tried to live with it. We would, had we resorted to IVF with her eggs (which was the next step had we not been successful with the IUIs finally) have only transferred two embryos.

I am an identical twin. I was born 2 months early and weighed 4 lbs at birth. I was in an incubator for a month before I was released into my mother's arms. My twin went home after a week. We were born in the 60s. Now a 4 pounder is considered a heavyweight and usually goes home if there is no NICU stay.

I have had no residual issues stemming from my premature birth, at all. I was a good student and my health was really excellent, except for my reproductive system. I never missed a day of school, my entire elementary school years. As I grew older and started having issues w/my repro system (cysts and all), I missed school in High School but you can't blame prematurity on that.

Ugh. Obsessed. That word, coupled with infertility -- implies unethical behavior that really isn't the reality for those of us who are infertile. That article bothered me terribly. Glad you wrote this.

Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo

http://micrimas.blogspot.com

Oh no, rant away. The

Melissa Ford — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:58:50 -0500

Oh no, rant away. The articles, after all, made me twitch. Especially the idea that we're all just willing to take any risk in the world (for ourselves and for the children) just because we're obsessed.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

I missed the accompanying

Melissa Ford — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:57:02 -0500

I missed the accompanying picture. The term fertility industry conjured up something sinister. And as you say, there are some clinics and doctors who fit this description, but it can't be a blanket term used to cover every clinic and doctor.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

Three cheers to that

Melissa Ford — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:55:26 -0500

It's such a dangerous message especially with the stress and blame it places on the woman, but it also presents a false idea to the greater world. We can't eradicate prematurity because we're talking about an umbrella term addressing a host of situations--some treatable and some not.

Venting about infertility since 2006 www.stirrup-queens.com and we're not talkin' cowgirls...

Great!

Britt Bravo — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:47:19 -0500

I'm looking forward to reading about it.

Would be happy to!

PositivelyAnna — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 15:17:15 -0500

I'll post it this weekend!

Anna B

http://positivelyanna.blogspot.com/

I agree

SoDear — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:43:23 -0500

I read the first article in the series about two days before my second IUI upon starting treatments again after loss. It put me in a terrible state of mind (or rather, it didn't help, as I was already struggling). I *hated* this article, I think my favorite line was "couples become obsessed..." like we walk around bug-eyed, about to steal a baby -- any baby, or embryo -- just so we have the chance to be parents.

Something I recall about my twin pregnancy (and loss) was that no doctor *really* emphasized how high risk my situation really was. Oh, you have to be careful. The nausea will be bad. You have to go on pelvic rest at 24 weeks, you will probably deliver a few weeks early. Three or four days before my loss, my OB was prepared to let me fly 1000 miles to attend a funeral. If someone, anyone had said to me, "Listen, this is serious," I would probably have had a much different experience overall, loss or not. Women (and couples) are casual about twins because we are led to believe they are common and safe pregnancies. The implication in this article that women are careless in pursuit of family making is insulting. The popular belief that you can always have a child, don't worry about waiting contributes to this, as does the popular notion that if you can't get pregnant on your own, it must be because you don't want it, or you are just not meant to be a mother.

I chose not to read the comments, too. It's really upsetting that such a highly esteemed publication like the NY Times can't be bothered to get the information right -- or pretends to be "objective" (whatever that is), when it clearly is not.

Sorry to rant. Feeling like this is everywhere right now.

Thanks for writing this. As always, you rock, Mel.

Sue

http://sodearandyetsofar.blogspot.com

On the Inside

Romancing_the_stone — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 11:20:56 -0500

Melissa,

Thank you for this beautiful review of a very disturbing article. I can't begin to tell you how I feel when I picked up my Sunday NYT to see the photo of two sanguine babies so small, they fit in sand buckets (They were actually placed in these buckets for their photo!). The paper lay on my kitchen table for 3 days before I willed myself to read it. My husband and I are taking a month break from IVF after two consecutive miscarriages. What bothered me about the article was that it truly felt as if it was scribed by someone on the "outside" of this experience. For those of us on this journey, it pains me to see such indifference and lack of opposing viewpoints in such a front page article. Saul makes it appear as if every Doctor and clinic's focus lies solely on churning out babies and ensuring the success of their practice. She insinuates that reputable clinics avoid proper protocall and compromise the safety of their patients in order to "meet numbers" and draw new clients to their practice. While this may be the case in some clinics, I think it is a broad, sweeping exaggeration to say that is the motivating factor of every RE.

In my experiences with IUI and IVF, I have never encountered such pressure, or lack of regard for my overall well being.

I wish the article would have offered a more balanced perspective and Saul would have interviewed others in the Medical profession who's purpose and attitude differed from her own.

Thank you so much for your perspective, and for letting me share mine.

Michele

http://romancingthestone.wordpress.com

http://veggievixen.wordpress.com