BlogHer - moms - Comments

Heaven's no! You aren't alone!

yoktom — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 15:06:39 -0500

It's funny how as moms we always think we are the ONLY ONE out there that feels like we are alone, or overwhelmed, or that we just can't take it anymore! That's why support groups and places like this are so vital to the survival of "you" in motherhood. I guess that's why the topic is so highly requested by women's groups when I speak.

My suggestion - find a five minute time out spot. Sometimes five minutes is all it takes. I call it five minutes in the freezer at my house - Five minutes is sometimes all we can get, but it's a very important five minutes.

For the record, luckily none of the keys on my laptop are missing, however, I am on my third wireless transmitter for my mouse...

Tamara Hancock
www.wahpm.com
Work AT Home Professional Mom
www.widowsofwarcraft.com
(self explanatory :)
www.yoktom.blogspot.com
Diary of A Stay At Home Mom

Please read the updates! Marriott regrets the offensive language

Nordette — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 17:12:31 -0500

Marriott calls the language a "mistake." and has asked that the "special defense" blaming the victim be withdrawn.This story has been updated at BlogHer at this link. This Marriott story has certainly inspired passion. If you are genuinely interested in facts and follow-up and don't simply enjoy bashing either rape victims or corporations based on a personal ideology, I recommend a look at the update, including information about the court detail in the update's comment section.

Thank you all for reading and commenting, and even more for thinking about your comments and educating us all.

Nordette Adams is a BlogHer CE & you can find her other stuff through Her 411.

End the 'Marriott Defense'

CDEscamilla — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:54:31 -0500

If the Marriott wants to impress us with their new found virtue then:1. Settle amicably and now with Ms. Jane Doe2. Ban the use of the 'Marriott Defense' now and for all time3. Terminate any and all contracts with those who still choose to pursue a 'Mariott Defense'Then just maybe something good may come from this.

This is horrible.

Tonimalise — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 10:16:47 -0500

I will protect myself and my family by never again setting foot on Marriott property. Am I being cautious enough now Marriott?????

Price tag on rape?

Alton — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:48:26 -0500

When you sue someone, you make a claim that something they did caused you X dollars in loss. How much is Marriot being sued for? What is the price this victim put on her rape? When you put a price tag on sexual assault, dont you open yourself up to the defense of, "you are responsible for that cost of $50,000, not us".

Exactly dont stay there, who

tif1827 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:40:27 -0500

Exactly dont stay there, who cares, marriott will just look at it is less people to sue them for ridiculous things

It is an acceptable defense

tif1827 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:38:44 -0500

It is an acceptable defense because her basis of lawsuit is unacceptable. She is suing for NO reason. Not that anyone deserves to be raped but she was perfect target. She was distracted, she had 2 kids, she was not paying attention and the guy saw her as easy target. So yes, in that aspect she was at fault. She paid the worst price but as all those articles on how to protect yourself say, the first defense is to not make yourself an easy target. You are not looking at this in open minded matter. All you saw was big corporation blaming woman who was involved with horrible rape at hotel and now they are ganging up on poor woman to hurt her more. That is not what happened. She is using no real legal basis other than she was raped. She is trying to sue a company for something that is not their fault, and you and all these woman are upset because the company said mean things. How many times in your life or any of these woman, have said mean and hurtful, perhaps very hurtful, untrue things? Think of any fight you have ever had, those words probably hurt deeply the person you were saying them to. Well same instance, I do not think these people actually believe it or mean it, they are really pissed because they get sued all the time and this is really a reaching lawsuit and they are fed up. If america was not so "lawsuit happy" I doubt that these lawyers or company would have taken that route. It is one more thing that is a waste of time.

I meant get out of jail

tif1827 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:23:34 -0500

I meant get out of jail

This just shows how america

tif1827 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:22:35 -0500

This just shows how america is so stupid. Just because a large corporation used mean language and said hurtful things because they are being sued, does not mean you should boycott. The victim is not entitled to money, at least from hotel. There are people sexually assaulted everyday, most by family members, and you think they get money? This happens on regular basis everyday. If I was raped everyday by a family member I would punch this woman. She should work to make sure this guy never goes to jail, go to support groups, work on safety in public areas. Suing marriott and whining about the lawyers who are defending the company you are suing for no reason, is not a morally right way, or healthy way to deal with situation. She should be concerned with her kids, who witnessed this horrible act and want to fix them since they are emotionally scarred. Then there is people like you and all these woman on here who condone it. I personally know people who were sexually abused and the guys or family members who did it never went to jail. At least he was found & is getting punishment. Suing is not the answer to everything and if she was going to use her horrible crime to her advantage, then she has to be prepared to for this to happen.

I am confused. Why is it

tif1827 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 19:09:35 -0500

I am confused. Why is it Marriott's fault? what happened is horrible and they should have never said that, but really it is not their fault. That would have happened to her anywhere if someone is going to do that, they are going to do it. I think everyone should not be so lawsuit happy, instead actually work to make sure it does not happen again and go to some counseling. Marriott definitely reacted that way in defense. They are getting their asses sued and they do not want to lose money. The guy who did it is in jail. I wish her the very best but I do not think she should be able to sue Marriott. There are tons of people who are sexually assaulted everyday, some people even by their own family members, they go through tons of pain and torture on daily basis and they are not even able to do anything. This woman should be looking to solve the problems and heal herself not going to court for money. The guy is already in jail, so that is money factor. You think if this happened infront of mom and pop store she could sue? no, the hotel probably did its job, they got video and guy was caught.

the real problem

kittypoo — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:26:40 -0500

I think the issue is more in how they are defending themselves by blaming the woman rather than making the statement you made. If they had just said what you said rather than saying the woman was to blame and that her children should have been able to help her, maybe it wouldn't have even made the headlines. They are Mormons though and may very well believe that the woman was at fault. Afterall it is a fairly primitive cult religion. I know I was a member for a while. Women are chattel.

I agree!

JeepFan55 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:07:25 -0500

This has been turned around to be sexist and that is not the case here. The lady has no claim against Marriott, but that is ok she blamed "the hotel" for her rape. But it is not ok for the hotel to blame her. The rapist was caught and sentenced. For all you who want to quit staying at Marriott, good riddens! The hotel in no way violated her safety, it happened in a parking garage not in the lobby where everyone could see it. Not many garages I know of have security in them 24/7. I guess they need a sign now that says "not responsible for rape".

Marriot blames women for being raped

vicjoplin — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 07:23:22 -0500

I think the Marriot Hotels could have defended themselves without attacking the victim. They just had show how they handled security at the place and that they had taken all reasonable steps to keep their guests safe. I don't know if the woman had a reason to sue them or not I don't know the details, but we also have people who are sue happy and just see an opportunity to get some money. I don't necessarily think it's the hotels fault she was raped. SO QUIT BLAMING EACH OTHER AND BLAME THE ONE WHO DID IT.

Denial Personified

downema1160 — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 06:57:29 -0500

My first thought is sympathy for the victim and her family. Having been a victim of rape, one is left with one thought .... survive at all costs. When the safety of your kids is at stake, it becomes God help us all. Anything, but please don't hurt my babies. That Marriott would take such a cold and accusatory stand in this case is reprehensible. NO ONE ASKS TO BE RAPED. To have every shred of your dignity wrenched away, to have a stranger steal what is most privately YOURS, leaves you feeling lost and vulnerable and pissing mad. For Marriott Corp to dismiss this as "her own fault" is patently ridiculous. It was a CRIME you fools! That it happened on YOUR property does not give you the right to gloss over and throw blame on the victim. V-I-C-T-I-M. And what of her children? Is it possible they DON'T have nightmares of what heppened to their mother? For heaven's sake, let's call a spade a spade here. This woman, going about her business, perhaps telling the children of the wonders of the zoo they were about to visit (or whevever they were headed) should have that right without fear of being attached along the way! Mr. Marriott, do YOU look askance with every step you take on the street? I think not. Nor is it right or proper that your GUESTS should have to either. You are richer than God, you purport to be dedicated to the comfort and safety of your guests, and yet, here you stand waving your righteous finger in her face saying YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. Mayhap next time it will be YOUR wife, YOUR daughter, YOUR grand-daughter in the throes of such heinous action. Will your attitude change THEN? I should hope and pray YOU are never in such a situation, If you DO find yourself or your loved ones facing terror, perhaps God will show mercy and let them live. Then what goes around comes around. I hope you, Mr. JW Marriott, will be able to withstand and SURVIVE the hell that will surely follow. I praise this woman and her tenacity to even FACE this crime. Shame on you for making her your poster-child for indifference and ignorance, and profit-at-all-costs.

that not fair

420kushsmokeronly — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 02:57:17 -0500

Why would she as a victim of rape want to sue an organization that did
not rape her. yes she was on the property for some reason but that her business she chose to drive the kids down to the hotel when your at a hotel you are suppose to watch your surroundings especially if you have kids with you, don't get me wrong what happened to her and her family is unthinkable but the true crime here is that she is suing this organization. If she wasn't in La La land this would not of happened and
now she is thinking about her pockets instead of her kids well being
not once in the article did it say if the lady was getting her kids
emotional needs taken care of. When something this horrible happens in
California the state pays for all the medical bills of the victims
involved including hospital bills, therapy, and any other bills
associated with the trauma why would Marriott be responsible for that i
don't know but if it were me i would call her every name under the book
to protect my vested interest in my business besides they caught the
guy why isn't she suing him?