BlogHer - baby boomers - Comments

Dementia Patient Spending Sprees: what to do????

gladlenise — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 07:22:35 -0500

My Mom was diagnosed with dementia by a neurologist about a year ago; its not advanced and she lives alone. I spend several hours each day with her by leaving work early, and that way, I've been able to monitor and assist her with daily needs. I had taken over her monthly bills for her ... she's on fixed income and we do not have much in the way of financial resources. Yesterday, Mom just went down and withdrew about half of the funds for upcoming April bills and went on a spending spree yesterday: I don't know what to do. I've been having that problem with her and trying hard to talk to her about it. I cannot afford to keep covering her on the monthly shortfalls. I don't know what to do. The shut-off notices will be coming, but I'm not going to be able to afford them. Mom does not understand that with only $600, she cannot go on spending sprees and still have enough to cover her monthly expenses. She can still cook for herself and bathe and dress herself, and she does not get lost. But she does get terribly confused and combative at times. I can't help her with her monthly expenses, when she goes down and withdraws mostly everything as soon as the monthly auto-deposit is recorded. Does anyone have any suggestions on the financial problem I have with her? I already have the POA's, etc., but they're not much good under these circumstances. Has anyone else been through this? Thanks.

My 80 year old m-i-l lives

slanoue — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 10:46:59 -0600

My 80 year old m-i-l lives with us. I work at home, so I am with her more than her son, who works outside the home and is gone most of the day. She and I get along fine, but it sure can be aggravating to live with her because of the dementia since she gets confused so easily. They both are in a bit of denial about the dementia, even though her doctor said she had it. I try not to get frustrated because she can't help being so aggravating. It makes things worse that she is very deaf and pretty blind as well. Despite all this, she is pretty independent and ambulatory. One day she will go into a home, but right now she can pretty much take care of herself, as long as we are around to help her now and then.

Keep A Smile

midlifemuse — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 19:40:55 -0600

We really need to keep a sense of humor about dating at this time of life--sounds like you've got that--and the condoms!!!

It's not that bad

karenbrower — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 01:56:24 -0600

We still have our independence, our identity and our spirit. Take confidence in that and all will turn out well.

In regards to dating sites, I've found a lot more success at eharmony than the other personals ads sites like match or lavalife.

I loved the end of your article because it was very hard for me to go into 7-11 and buy condoms! My personal favorite site is http://www.condomman.com .. LOL!

I remember

Candelaria Silva — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 15:40:47 -0500

I remember going to every house in Kinloch, Missouri and then walking with my great Aunt Rene to the local Dairy Cream where they gave our free sundaes.

I remember bartering with my cousins and sister for candy. I didn't like candy with chocolate or nuts and so I always had a lot to trade or get pennies for.

I remember it being so cold and dark and that we actually had to do a trick to get a treat.

This year only two groups of kids stopped by. I was disappointed. There were throngs in a neighborhood a few blocks away but none made it here. Oh, well.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

With lipstick!

Denise — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 13:53:14 -0500

I love that!

Happy Halloween!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Great Quiz

midlifemuse — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:50:51 -0500

Jacqueline--

Thanks for adding the Test Your Menopause quiz to our "toolkit" here. We can't have enough resources as we navigate the choppy waters of the change of life.

Karen

All the Right Questions

midlifemuse — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 22:48:34 -0500

Linda--

These are all the questions I asked myself when HRT was first blasted by the medical journals. The answer for me was weaning myself off the hormones I had been taking for 5 years. I don't know if it was the right decision but I wasn't willing to bet my life on what the drug companies said.

Karen

Women to Women

jacquelinenh — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 21:17:13 -0500

Thanks for this post and all the many great links. I am a big fan of women to women (did you know the clinic was co-founded by Dr. Christiane Northrup?). Here is the link to W2W's "Test Your Menopause I.Q." quiz. Maybe an appropriate way to celebrate Menopause Month? www.womentowomen.com/community/survey/testyourmenopauseiq.aspx

Due Diligence and Menopause Month

LMBehr — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 08:12:32 -0500

Oh, I would definitely have to say they do! It's like the warning they started to put on cigarette packs that use of tobacco 'may' cause cancer.......they had to cover themselves with the fine print against future lawsuits. Now that studies have indicated that HRT is supposedly safer for women than it was, and they anticipate increased use, the powers that be want to make sure that future generations can't cut into their profits through lawsuits.

The problem is that HRT is a two edged sword; you have all the known dangers of increased risk of breast and uterine cancer, blood clots, gallstones and whatever else hasn't been discovered, versus the benefits of reducing cholesterol, vaginal dryness, (and those miserable hot flashes!) in addition to decreasing the risk of heart disease, colon cancer, and osteoporosis, as has been reported.

The bottom line is: 'How much do those hot flashes bother you; does HRT work when you use it; are the side effects non-existant or negligible for you; and are you willing to risk it that the drug companies aren't lying?'

Linda

Definitely Scary

midlifemuse — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:46:55 -0500

Linda--

Do you think anyone does due diligence when someone decides to create a new month of something?

Karen

Visit me at Midlife's A Trip.

Menopause month is cheek to jowl with Breast Cancer month?

LMBehr — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 18:31:43 -0500

I dunno, my research has led me to surmise that Menopause Awareness came about in response to difficulties with hormone replacement. So isn't it kind of creepy that they put it right next to October, which is Breast Cancer Awareness?

Linda

Thanks Karen

ckingins — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:59:01 -0500

Thanks for your kind words and taking the time! Back to the gym tomorrow!

Colleen King

Colleen King Insurance Agency

Northridge, CA

Blog: www.askcolleenking.com

Web site: www.CKinginsurance.com

Email: Colleen@ckinginsurance.com

Thanks Mata!

ckingins — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 22:57:28 -0500

Very kind of you to take the time!

Colleen King

Colleen King Insurance Agency

Northridge, CA

Blog: www.askcolleenking.com

Web site: www.CKinginsurance.com

Email: Colleen@ckinginsurance.com

Amen!

midlifemuse — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 19:12:06 -0500

Mata--

I know about feeling thankful that a flash is over. And I know about feeling grateful to be here to have one (had a health challenge a few years back). Glad we're still here to LOL and flash!

Karen

Visit me at Midlife's A Trip.