BlogHer - assisted living - Comments

Yep, that's what happens

Denise — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 07:22:46 -0500

We're a family taking care of an elderly parent and that's exactly how we feel in the morning and all day long actually. Clicking to read the rest now.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Care giving, getting older,

Jennifer-and-Anita — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 03:05:28 -0500

Care giving, getting older, assisted living, independent living, senior living, Alzheimer's facilities, Board and care homes...

I find this thread to be quite interesting and scary at the same time as these are questions I'm going through at the moment both personally and professionally.

These are all different kinds of decisons we have to make for ourselves as we are getting older but also for our loved ones if the topic hasn't been discussed in advance.

There is a website about free assisted living referral services which has some information about most of these topics and is related to helping us women deal with these very important yet very difficult decisions.

I hope the information in there helps you as much as it helped me.

Anita

thanks for comments

comfortkeeper — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 07:05:43 -0500

Hi Jamie

Thanks for your comments. Yes totally agree a person's home whether in private sector on residential street or even facility should try to look as personal and as de-institutionalized as possible.

Yes, we have lots of questions from families about such things as safety bars, ramps, shower chairs, etc. You could even just start a blog here on blog her in elder section about such things. Families often do not realize how inexpensive the items are in comparison to the medical bills they will pay when a person falls cause they have no safety bars.

I will keep you mind iwhen we have questions, etc. thanks for commenting on mhy blog. Melody

Well done!

JTGoldberg — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 01:42:58 -0500

My compliments on the thoroughness and high quality of your information. You're clearly well-versed in your topic, and you're providing a valuable service to the BlogHersphere by sharing your verses! So thanks.

I keep up on this type of info as a kitchen and bath designer with an aging-in-place specialization. In other words, by improving the function, style* and accessibility of these key spaces, I help clients stay comfortably, safely and productively in their homes for as long as possible. If you or your clients have any questions on this topic, please let me know. I'm looking to start a second blog on this specific topic, but haven't decided yet where I want to post it. (Thoughts?) I'd also like to know what questions people have on the subject, so that I can provide answers for them.

I * the word style above. That's because I believe that people's homes shouldn't look institutional just because they're safe and accessible. A master bath, for example, should look more like a resort spa than a rehab hospital.

Jamie Goldberg, AKBD
jamie@jgkitchens.com
http://jgkitchens.blogspot.com/
www.jgkitchens.com

Care-Giving (and Getting) as we age

Cynthia Samuels — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 07:08:24 -0500

Denise this is very troubling to me for different reasons than most of you. I'm closer to the age of being considered "aging" than care-giver. It's not easy to think about. Both of our kids live on the west coast (we moved east from there) and we are committed to the community in which we live now so it's complicated. In addition, once we retire the health insurance laws really suck - and our house has steps, which may make it tough. We love it though and are loathe to leave.

I know our boys worry - and I remember how hard it was being across the country from my mom in her last years. I guess those who live geographically close are very lucky - at least they can be on the scene. It's a great topic to continue discussing - thanks for, with your usual prescience, bringing it up.

Cynthia Samuels, Partner
Cobblestone Associates, LLP
Blog and Media Strategies and Content Development Online and on Television
http:dontgelyet.typepad.com/dontgeltoosoon

Caregiving for our seniors

ExpectingExecutive — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 23:19:23 -0500

I wrote about this related subject in BlogHer not too long ago - http://www.blogher.com/i-worry-about-old-people.

Caregiving for our seniors can be emotionally, financially and logistically complicated. Carol over at www.mindingoureldersblogs.com is a wonderful source of encouragement, resources and community for those facing caregiving decisions and challenges.

Erin
ExpectingExecutive
Helping Women Manage Life's Details

It is more stressful than many things in life.

lauriewrites — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 21:25:04 -0500

I was a social worker/community educator for the Alzheimer's Association in another lifetime and have been helping my parents with my grandmothers for the past several years. Both of my grandfathers are dead. My parents are the siblings who have been left to manage care for their parents, for a variety of reasons, so obviously I feel quite strongly about the topic...especially when those family members who don't make decisions or participate (i.e., answer the calls from the assisted living demanding extra Depends) criticize my parents.

The toughest thing about choosing assisted living facilities is the lack of consistency in levels of care. Families pick them based on how their relative is doing when they go into the place, not often knowing that as the person ages and needs more care, the facility might make them move. We went through this this spring - had thirty days to find another place for my grandma other than the home she'd lived in for more than six years. It was traumatic for her and for my dad, and for the rest of the family too.

One thing to be careful about is judging a facility based on appearances alone. The swankiest places can have crappy care. Some of the corporate chains are the worst offenders...all show, no substance. My grandmother lived in a small Catholic home for years and it was great, very low key but the staff was awesome. These people will be giving your loved one baths and feeding them for perhaps years. They are the primary thing you should be scrutinizing.

Area Agencies on Aging and your local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association can give a ton of good advice on choosing facilities - checklists of what to look for and what questions to ask when touring. A simple Google search will help you locate them. A family should also educate themselves about their rights under the law - when they can drop in, what the facilities care ratings are, etc. A facility that makes this information difficult to find is not a place you want your loved one to go.

And I cannot stress this enough - caregivers get sick - particularly those who go it alone. Sometimes they die before the ill or elderly person they are caring for. So please look out for the people in your lives who are caring for others. They are often the last to ask for help, and the ones who really need it, whether they'll admit it or not.

Laurie
LaurieWrites

It's not stress

nuthinfancy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 19:37:29 -0500

it's character enrichment ;)

amazing how many choices there are and how much housing is being planned with aging communities in mind...assisted and senior facilities are also getting a ton of attention from HUD these days as the demand for affordable and publicly funded alternatives grows...interesting stuff...

as for the other parental figures in our lives...we're both abdicating all duties to our siblings, nieces and nephews, LOL