BlogHer - mid-life crisis - Comments

Fortify for Forty

rebellious thinker — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 20:57:42 -0600

I'm so sorry that things have not worked out for you. But like, Candelaria, I think that you should really hold onto those few things that are your hearth and your heart. Thoughts of solutions being found go out to you.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

You have my empathy

Candelaria Silva — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:42:46 -0600

When jobs are lost and dreams seem dashed, it is hard not to be negative. I am a Broke Bee but determined to someohow get through. Like you, looking to sell stuff, taking all sorts of small gigs (thanks to Craig's List) and applying for everything that I can do. Something will have to break through.

Meanwhile, hang on to your love.

blog.candelariasilva.com

Good and plenty!

Cougar VS the MILF

searchingwithin — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 18:30:46 -0600

I myself have been confronted with that virile young man, that had the desire to sleep with an older woman. I will have to do some research on why this is. However, if you are still fertile, with a youthful appearance, they would still desire to procreate with you, according to evolutionary psychology. My first mental response would be that they are curious of the sexual knowledge that you would could give them, and the bragging they could pass on to there buddies. But that is just the first thing that comes to my mind. Whether or not you should respond to that, lies only within yourself.

Whether or not that would be an extension of women's time-honored role as a wise woman, as keeper and transmitter of traditions, that again, relies on what you perceive to be wise, and what your traditions are. Only you can answer that, no one can answer those question for you.

As far as an ego stroke for him, actually in some way, I believe it could be, but to explain that, and why I say that, would be another article in the making.

I am merely writting about what the evolutionary psychologists have and are studying, and what they have concluded from those studies. I'm not saying they are right or wrong, whether we should like them or not, accept them or not, merely what they are determining influences some of our behaviors.

Virile Men Need Apply

rebellious thinker — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:44:07 -0600

Does that mean that I should respond to the virile young man who claimed he wanted to have sex with an older woman? Would that be an extension of women's time-honored role as wise woman, as keeper and transmitter of traditions? Would this be an important ego stroke for him and enable him to perpetuate and perfect his primitive instincts?

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

In Agreement

searchingwithin — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:39:37 -0600

I have to agree with you rebellious thinker.

But it largely has to do with where his values, morals and core beliefs lay, as apposed to his instincts. This article is not to say that social psychology, values, beliefs, perspectives, etc. do not figure into the picture, just that we are influenced subconsciously, whether we like it or not, or whether we realize it or not, by our primative instincts. What we do with those instincts, and how react on them, relies on a lot on our ego, and how we choose to stroke it. (Okay, pun intended)

Science and Reality are Not the Same

rebellious thinker — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:27:41 -0600

A fifty-year old man who is married to a 25-year old woman is a walking mid-life crisis. I would not say talking midlife crisis because that is not what he is up to. A man who has reached 50 and cannot overcome his impulses, cannot realize the importance of having a partner who is just that, a partner, deserves to be in a cave with the pointy-breasted woman who cannot understand any of the disappointments and observations that said man might have had about life. I wish them well.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

thank you

Liah_daDiva — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 15:18:12 -0500

thank you for taking the time out to read this posting.always remeber with God all things are possible and he would never put more on you then you can bear

An Phenomenal Woman Can Onli be Real

Amen

christinajeanne — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 14:56:15 -0500

I agree with your post so much. I've had so many stresses in my life lately as many others have as well. Just being able to surrender the situation the the Lord is really what's getting me through. You reminded me about spending time with the Lord today. Great post!

Christina

I Know That Mid-Life Change

wbattles — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 15:53:04 -0500

Wendy Battles, Optimal Health Coach, www.DontWorryGetHealthy.com

Hi Debra,

I'm so loving reading your comments, it's like music to my ears when women start to trust their bodies and do what feels right! Forget what others say, we're each so individual and when we find something that works, we should go for it.

And the weight training to lose weight - it's the best. Karen and I were just talking about that this week.

I think the changes you've made are totally inspiring and it goes to show that we can all do this!

Thanks for sharing,

Wendy

I Agree!

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 17:06:46 -0500

Doris--

The forties are fabulous. I remember thinking how I was at my peak then. But I can tell you that at 57, there's something pretty amazing about the fifties. Clearly our bodies are changing and we may not always be so thrilled about that. But there a liberation of mind and spirit that comes in the middle of midlife. Back in the 60s or 70s there was this book--I think it was by Marlo Thomas--called "Free to Be Me". I thought I got it then. But now I really understand why it means to be really me -- and comfortable with it (bigger waistline and all).

The bone density thing is definitely something to focus on. Thanks for bringing that into the discussion. We have osteoporosis in our family and both my sister and I take Fosamax.

Karen

Great Article

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:57:08 -0500

Kathy--

There some great exercises in your article--especially the arms ones, some of which I done before. I'm adding them to the workout again. Thanks for the link.

In my 40s I was in great shape. It was the 50s and menopause that caused the change. Wish I had known but you certainly have a head start on preventing midlife spread. Have to check out the kettlebell--that's a new one on me. That's why I love blogging. I always learn something. Thanks.

Karen

Good Grocery Mantra

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 16:48:15 -0500

Tracie--

This is a good one to remember at the grocery store. Especially when walking by goodies that are not lean, green or marine. Clearly my favorite taco chips wouldn't pass the LGM test.

Karen

Nutrition mnemonic

Tracie — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:14:18 -0500

Lean. Green. Marine. It's not my phrase -- I heard it from someone else. But it's been helpful as I try to envision how to eat: lean (protein), green (anything!) marine (fish and/or omega3 fish oil).

Staying Fit in Middle Age

Kathy333 — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:08:46 -0500

It is crazy, the changes that we go through. First it was having kids. I got that C section pouch! Then it was just getting a bit older, I think. I exercise a lot, and am actually becoming a personal trainer to start up a program for mothers and those in their upper thirties and beyond (women) because we do face really unique challenges! The body changes over time, no matter what we do.

I do agree that if you go into exercise with the goal only of losing weight you might be disappointed.I think it has to become a real part of your everyday life. It's a tough challenge, particularly when you work and if you have children, but it can be done if you make it a priority. I think after seeing the benefits of daily exercise people stick with it more.

I wrote an article on prevention about meeting fitness goals that has a few exercises I really love that I use to tone. I also bought a kettlebell-wow! great workout!

Keep us posted on how it goes! I love Trader Joes, but we also have a Henry's market around here. They have the freshest veggies and fruits! I really like farmer's markets too. And I steam all of our veggies. They come out crisp and they don't have added butter, etc . . . so they are healthy too.

Kathy

Mama Marathoner

Allbusiness:Working Mothers

Ah Yes --the Tummy

midlifemuse — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 11:56:10 -0500

Liz--

The other day, my 4 year old niece told me that I had a "fat tummy". Out of the mouths of babes. I thought I was disguising it pretty well. I think that comes from the creeping weight thing that gives women an extra pound or two a year. The beer and pizza might contribute a little too :-)

Karen

Visit me at Midlife's A Trip.