BlogHer - Mothers - Comments

Single mother--not by choice, well kind of

rebellious thinker — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 07:13:46 -0500

I started out being a married mother, but then divorced my daughters' father, so I am a singe mother kind of by choice. You never know how things will work out in a relationship: even the best laid plans of men and women can be change by the confluence of personalities. So, you really don't need to sweat how it came to be, just celebrate your daughter and your relationship as she grows--and as you grow with her.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Leaving Legacies

rebellious thinker — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 16:59:30 -0500

Leanne, I hope my legacy is not just in the memories that my daughters have of me, but in the way they face life--in the independence and strength that I hope to have encouraged in them. A legacy, isn't that the transmittal of love from generation to generation? If horrifies me, the idea that I would not be here with them to be the shoulder and ear that my mother has become for me. That surely is another part of the legacy that a woman gives to her children.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

I'm sorry...

TiredMama — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:34:55 -0500

Of course it's okay to cry. I hope to God someone will tell this tween that. She'll need to cry..long and hard. I also hope that Mom left her a legacy of love. I'm praying I'm doing that for my trio too. But this is a great reminder.

I'm with you... Race for the cure....

Leanne

http://www.TiredMama.com

Tweens and Breast Cancer

rebellious thinker — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 17:57:04 -0500

The next day at school my daughter found out that the mother had died of breast cancer, which she had been battling for years. My 12-year old told me that this woman's chemo had not worked; and that her friend had never seen her with hair and eyebrows and eyelashes. And she said that her friend last saw this woman a week ago driving her daughters (two girls in middle school) to a lesson--and that is the image that a 12-year-old girl has in her head of a woman's life with breast cancer. It is heartwrenching. These little girls, for surely they are not women, having to figure out how to deal with breast cancer, with life and death.

And the girl whose mother passed had told her friend that she didn't want to cry when her mother dies--she wants to be strong for her younger sister. But she did cry. Someone, please, someone tell me why it is not strong to cry? Why a 12-year-old should not let the floodgates of her soul open up for her mother, and for her father, for her sister, for herself? Why is it not strong to acknowledge those feelings?

My daughter had been planning a birthday sleepover on Friday night, but she has cancelled it. Many of the girls will be going to the funeral. Apparently she will not go, there seems to be some code of manners, that I can't fathom (or unearth from her), that says she shouldn't go, and she is adhering to that.

Race for the cure.

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

This was such a good

kauihart — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:55:12 -0500

This was such a good post.

http://www.partywithaninfant.blogspot.com

http://www.kauiharthemmings.com

Better Than A Baby Book

Gray Matter — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:32:21 -0500

Wow, what a sad thing. I remember a few years ago when I started blogging there were a lot of women who were choricalling their children's lives and their own personal feelings as an act of love. It would be something for their kids to look back on and read about how much they were loved, all the cute (and annoying) stuff they did and would give a real glimpse into their mother's lives.

www.graymater-matters.blogspot.com

Link Textgray matter matters

It's that intimacy that we crave here.

susiej — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 13:13:25 -0500

What a lovely window into the intimacy you share with your daughter. This is why I love blogging, and reading blogs. For the realilty, the life lessons, the sharing and the intimacy.

www.susiej.com

thank you for this post

FishyGirl — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 09:48:58 -0500

You've given me a window into what things must have been like for my friends when my mother died when I was 15. My oldest is only 8, but we've had conversations about this already because she's missing a grandmother and is curious about her. One of the reasons I started to blog is because of my experience, because while I knew my mother as my mother, I never got to know her as a woman. What her hopes and dreams were, why she made the decisions she made, what her perspective was on my childhood. In my blog, I hope to leave a glimpse of that world behind for my kids. I hope it's never needed.

I will keep your daughter and her friend's family in my thoughts and prayers.

This is our world

dms052564 — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:15:24 -0500

I can relate to this post so well. Two and half years ago my husband died, the father to my children. My youngest girls were 8 and 3 when he died, too young to understand it all but we have muddled through.

When someone so vital to your life dies, your entire outlook is changed, yet in very contradictory ways. It makes you appreciate the special moments in life, the little mundane things, yet you don't stay there dwelling on every minute detail. We still get swept up in the craziness of life, but sometimes we stop in the middle of chaos more often than we would have used to to say "Wait. There's more than this."

Since his death I try to take the little things less seriously, try to make more moments and memories with my children and try to keep his memory alive in children who are now forgetting him.

Denise, mother of 6, There's Always Room For One More

Deep Sigh

rebellious thinker — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 08:30:41 -0500

Denise, I so wish we could guarantee that for them. Wouldn't that be a lovely gift?

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

Our almost 13 year old ....

Denise — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 07:42:50 -0500

Coincidence? Last week, the almost 13 year old said out of the blue "Mommy, you aren't going to die, right? Please don't die." --- that lead to the explanation that one of her friend's mother had just died.

:-(

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings

Moment by Moment Creating Life

rebellious thinker — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 06:19:18 -0500

Later she sat with me, even as I watched Rachel Maddow (she's not a news girl) and we talked about her stomachache, and the election, and alegbra. And she went up to study some more, and we both said "I love you."

Laura, www.RebelliousThoughtsofaWoman.com

One of Those Important Moments

mfmakichen — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 21:30:54 -0500

Hi Laura,

Wow, thank you so much for this story. I felt a mix of sadness and gratitude while reading about how you and your daughter reacted to this very sobering news.

Mary-Frances Makichen
www.makichenbooks.com
www.wordmedley.com

Internet predators

kahafer — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 19:15:46 -0500

Everyone should read the reports from the University of New Hampshire and NCMEC that show that so-called internet solications are down from several years ago and that so-called internet solicitations are not as likely to occur as law enforcement, the media, and others, would like the public to believe. Many so-called child solicitations are fabricated by law enforcement in order to pad their numbers so they can receive funding. Don't get me wrong, please; I want real child predators to be caught and prosecuted. But we need to stop the hype and scare tactics about how vulnerable our kids are via the internet. Please read the report.

Awesome

Denise — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 15:35:43 -0500

I love that you got to see each other again. Fantastic!

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

Flamingo House Happenings