BlogHer - sexual abuse - Comments

Thanks

Heres a Gem — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 12:36:12 -0600

Thanks for writing from your gut the way you did, Megan.

My instinct is to not want to watch this film because I am so painfully aware that this IS REAL, and ugliness like this happens in every race, every culture. I'm the type to have such an emotional reaction that I get depressed I can't step out and change the world all by myself. It's tough. That said, I'm thankful that these stories are told, because awareness is critical.

It's A Tough Call

Megan Smith — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 08:01:29 -0600

Hi Jenna,

Yeah, it's a tough call.

It's interesting, I just saw Gabourey Sibide on David Letterman and I can't tell you what a relief it was to see Gabby the actress, as opposed to Gabby portraying Precious.

Here was this lovely girl, laughing and giggling with Letterman and talking about how she got the part within three days of auditioning and all I could think was how relieved I was that I could replace some of the images of Precious from the movie with the lovely young woman on my screen.

Part of me feels ashamed of that because it feels like I'm abandoning girls in Precious' circumstances, but for now, I'll take what I can get.

Amazing how the mind works.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

My Personal Entertainment Blog: Megan's Minute

My Review Blog: Meg's Rad Reviews

Twitter:@MeganSmith

Thank You For Writing Both Sides

JennaHatfield — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:26:03 -0600

I've been struggling with whether or not I should shell out the cash and see this in the theater. I do believe, thanks to your review(s), I'm going to wait to watch this at home. The issues are big and in my face and are most likely best viewed where I can cry and yell in the privacy of my own home.

Thank you, truly, for taking off your professional hat and sharing the true grit of this film. I *will* see this movie. Just not in the theater.

@FireMom from Stop, Drop and Blog and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

I Hope Stories Like This Can Help People

Megan Smith — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 21:10:47 -0600

Hi Candelaria,

I hope stories like this really can help people give voice to their own pain and help them find a way to heal it. Also, if they open up a world to people who don't realize this exists and who may have the power to help, that too is a good thing.

It's just that after leaving that movie theatre, I couldn't think straight about any of those things.

Regarding my feelings about black men, I hesitated even writing what I did because I knew what I was implying when I wrote it and how unfair that was. But I was such a boiling mass of emotion I needed a way to express it.

I absolutely understand the biases I bring to the table but I felt for that instant someone, anyone had to lash out for the Precious's of the world.

Believe me, I really do know there are wonderful, kind, supportive black men who though they may be as you say be, "poor, black and urban," struggle every day to keep their families safe and cared for.

Unfortunately there aren't enough of them in our communities and the ones that are there are almost never lauded for their struggles. That too is a terrible, terrible shame.

Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

My Personal Entertainment Blog: Megan's Minute

My Review Blog: Meg's Rad Reviews

Twitter:@MeganSmith

I Hear you so clearly on this!

Candelaria Silva — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:52:00 -0600

I've been thinking about whether I'll go see Precious or not.

The hoopa surrounding the movie and the book before it, remind me of The Color Purple when it came out and For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide...by Ntozake Shange. While I know women who have experienced abuse at the hands of their mothers, fathers and step-fathers and mothers, and I was severaly abused by my grandmother, etc.,, it is not a story that I necessarily want to broadcast and havne't written about.

I'm not sure whether seeing brutality heals people. It may make you feel better that you're not alone in what you've experienced. I tend to be a person who sorts for the good in life and I know that for me, replaying my own abuse over and over wasn't good.

Lots of people are more attracted to big, dramatic, traumatic, angry, violent, etc., stories than ones that are uplifting. Filmmakers can make things more potent with their visual images. I don't know that if I were an actress, I'd want to give life to something so vile.

As for hating Black men after seeing the film - if only for a moment - I will say that my current husband and my son and lots of men I know are peaceful, respectful, positive, and decent people who would not and have not violated women. I have a friend whose daughter was violated by her stepfather (something she found out in the past couple of years). the friend has been divorced from this man for years. Her two sons (one of whom is his biologically) are wonderful, upstanding men who treat women with the upmost respect. One of them has full-custody of a daughter he had with a woman who was a neglectful parent. So, I think we have to remember that while there inevitably stories about children who've suffered this sort of abuse, there are children in our community who are loved and treasured even when there parents are financially poor, black and urban. There doesn't seem to be much room for films from this angle.

Anyhow - thanks for sharing from your gut.

http://blog.candelarisilva.com

Good and plenty!

Monique post

nevemiriam — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 19:07:56 -0500

Hi,

As a fellow survivor I just wanted to applaud all your efforts!

Believe it or not, the more you talk about it, eventually the crying stops. Yay! for taking the steps and going to therapy! So many victories on your part!

Consider the Thistle

LaurelH — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 05:43:08 -0500

Thank you for giving this book and this community of women a wide audience. I work in fundraising for a nonprofit, and these are very difficult times with donations severely impacted by the recession. Fortunately, violence against women is one of the areas that will receive funding under the Obama Stimulus bill, through the Department of Justice. I love the metaphor of the thistle and will buy this book!

Laurel

www.laurelhuntbooks.com

Just received...

nelle2nelle — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 14:13:03 -0500

my shipment, and it is perfectly lovely. :-)

*dual purpose of bumping this up!*

Well worth ordering, folks... and for a very good cause.

llhaesa

Yes, I thought the writer at

Nordette — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:19:54 -0500

Yes, I thought the writer at WDBD did a wonderful job reviewing the book. Thank you for your comment, Wilma.

Nordette: BlogHer CE. Blogs @ WSATA & UMBOP. @Twitter

That's great, Nelle!

Nordette — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:18:40 -0500

You're an action taker. :-) I hope many other will follow your lead. We all need to put our money where our mouth is whenver possible.

Nordette: BlogHer CE. Blogs @ WSATA & UMBOP. @Twitter

Thank you, Denise

Nordette — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:16:40 -0500

I'm glad I had the opportunity to review the book.

Nordette: BlogHer CE. Blogs @ WSATA & UMBOP. @Twitter

Women like me

Wilma Ham — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:33:11 -0500

I love the line, all women aim for peace, self esteem and a successful path.
We all do, albeit that the starting point from where we are coming from is different.
But going for the same things unite us and makes us understand and recognize each other, no matter our circumstances.
That is what I love about these projects, they allow dignity and make us unite rather than talking about them and us.
Good move to ask for comments, this really deserves attention.

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

Just ordered...

nelle2nelle — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:49:40 -0500

the book and handsoap. :-)

llhaesa

Quite inspirational

nelle2nelle — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 15:30:12 -0500

There are quiet and not so quiet little victories, and itis nice some publicity is flowing there way.

Someone I know in London has helped bring change there with DV, and we've talked on occasion about those brought into the country specifically to serve as prostitutes. It is estimated that in London alone, there are around 750 such establishments.

When one sees a number like that...

yay for all those involved in this programme, and I do believe this is a bood I'd like to read.

llhaesa

Love the opening of this post

Denise — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:23:27 -0500

I've actually read the post three times, and each time I find myself wishing I'd have thought to open a post that way. It's just excellent. It also makes me want to read the book and I did put it on my wish list the first time I read the post.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager

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