BlogHer - women - Comments

Thank you!

cutiebootycakes — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:35:53 -0500

I agree with you 100% we can no longer be silent about this devastating disease! Cutie Booty Cakes

You Got It!

StickySweetMom — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 10:07:30 -0500

You said it best "We could do away with these "days" and have an easy way to promote early intervention for individuals with HIV." Come on people let's get it together and get this done. Silence is only golden when your at the movie theater.

It Was A Good Conference

Megan Smith — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 10:28:12 -0500

Hi Kathi,

Thanks for your kind words. I really enjoyed the conference and learned quite a bit.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

Thanks, Megan!

vomviersen — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:59:04 -0500

Megan, thanks for the great coverage of BWB! I'm still making my way through the video clips and links - you have done a wonderful job of sharing the insights you gained at what sounds to have been a really worthwhile conference.

vomviersen :: Kathi Wilson
http://rottweilers.brilliant-disguise.net/

Sounds Like You've Got Some Decisions To Make

Megan Smith — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 22:52:46 -0500

I understand the feeling of being at a crossroads. I always told myself when my blogging felt like work, I would have to make adjustments. That's one reason I only post on my personal blog 3-5 times a week, and it's also the reason I gave up another paying gig because the pay was too little as was the emotional return on the creative investment.

But as soon as you finish that book, I'll be ready to pick up a copy!

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

I know what you mean

Jill Miller Zimon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:08:40 -0500

I've often thought that the perfection/do it all-all at once construct was something devised by men who just wanted to be sure that women would become such obsessed mothers that they'd never even think about competing with the men for any role outside the home at all. And, I'll confess, I had/have those thoughts when I literally careening around trying to meet so many people's needs, my own included. So I do have to ask, what am I contributing to that sense? Am I really that pliable that I'll do whatever is expected of me?

I think there are real societal expectations and, frankly, some from religion as well, that combine to make us feel pressure or combine and pressure us to feel that we must be these perfect performers in our roles, AND want more.

I cope with it mostly by ascribing to the "it doesn't have to be an A+ all the time" philosophy. So every meal, every outing, every birthday party, every column I write - I want them all to meet expectations - mine and others. But sometimes, it's going to be the B+ version, maybe even the B. And sometimes, that's going to have to be okay. I do rely on my relationships too - although I don't always ask for help or let people help me enough, when they offer. I think that's an area a lot of us could do better with, and maybe because we don't always do well in that area, we get these spins about women not supporting women enough. Definitely an area to think about/work on for me, I know.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Jill Writes Like She Talks

Thanks, Maria

Jill Miller Zimon — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 20:00:58 -0500

Of course it still isn't easy. :) The expectations of someone in an elected position definitely don't always align with the realities that elected people are still people - who stab their cheeks with mascara wands.

But I think these fears about being perfect are even more intense for women and yet of COURSE we are qualified and capable, AND human. And that is okay. If men aren't scared off, we shouldn't be either.

Even if I must say, it's scary. :)

Jill Writes Like She Talks

I wish I could have gone

Nordette — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:03:03 -0500

She has a cool and inspiring story. I had started to do a decent job of branding myself as Jersey Goddess, a persona of sorts, but dropped it all when I needed to go home to NOLA. For a time I dropped blogging completely. Can't seem to get any kind of momentum going now, and I think it's b/c I'm losing the drive to talk about myself or at least feeling pressure from external sources not to talk about myself, if that makes any sense. Plus, I'm feeling bad about not finishing a book during a time when people are screaming the book is dead.

She said she used it as an outlet, and that's what I was doing in the beginning, but lately it's felt like a job. What she said about people expecting more resonates. You have to ask yourself, "What if this thing really takes off, do I want the expectations that go with that?"

Be true to yourself and be consistent! Yes. And this is can be hard if you were trained to write objectively and remove the self. Hmm, I feel a blog post coming on. I'd better stop. LOL.

Thank you for bringing Blogging While Brown to those of us who could not go or did not know about it.

Nordette Adams is a BlogHer CE & you can find her other stuff through Her 411.

I'm starting to wonder if

thebloggingmum — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 13:25:46 -0500

I'm starting to wonder if we're all trying to do too much at once. I wonder what kind of legacy we're leaving behind us? Does it matter anymore, or have we all become completely disposable and forgettable?

Keirkegaard said, "purity of heart is to will one thing". I'm beginning to think of it in a similar fashion- but a little differently. "Sanity of mind is to will one thing." Mothers have put so much pressure on ourselves and each other to be this new breed of superwoman- but what if it's all a facade, put out there by women who have nothing better to do than make other women feel bad about themselves, as though their efforts are not enough?

Kudos to you for making it all work. I just sometimes think that we forget that we don't have to do all that, to still have a meaningful life.

Great insight, Jill

Maria Niles — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 12:37:07 -0500

And when I start to think about the lifestyle of the elected and busy in this way, thanks to the exposés, what I come to realize is that working in an elected position is just like any other job, role or position that any of us take on in life: the more we realize that working as an elected lawmaker can be integrated into our lives just like any other job, role or position, the less we will treat it as this, "Oh, but I can't do that!" on a pedestal aspiration.

I love this, Jill. The more we can tear down the perceived barriers to running and serving the more we can increase the range of people who fill our elected offices.

BlogHer Contributing Editor
PopConsumer
Beyond Help

Jada As "Nurse Jackie?" Hmmm.

Megan Smith — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 22:01:25 -0500

I thought about Jada as "Nurse Jackie" and honestly I don't think she could pull it off, but I sure as heck would love to see her try. It's possible she would surprise me.

But any number of black actresses could handle that role, Angela Bassett, CCH Pounder, and even Vanessa Williams or Pam Grier.

Like you, I also don't think of "Nurse Jackie's" actions as being that of a black person or a white person. It's just that because "Nurse Jackie" and "HawthoRNe" premiered a couple of weeks apart, it got me thinking about the lack of casting opportunities black actresses have.

Thanks for commenting.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

You are probably correct

JRoc2205 — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 23:00:33 -0500

You are probably correct that if nurse jackie were black many people would be going crazy. However, in my personal opinion and I feel many others would agree there are certain African-American actress who just might be able to pull of the role of nurse jackie and I feel Jada Pinkett Smith is one of them, another one that comes to mind is Halle Barry. Both are well respected women and have great range in their acting abilities. Now personally I have not seen either show, but if I were to watch an episode of nurse jacke regardless if she is white or black I don’t think I would immediately think of race when watching her actions. If she is doing drugs on the job I would think she is a drug addict, if she is having sex with random men around the hospital I would think she is a "hoe" or "slut." I know those terms might offend people, but in today's world a girl who sleeps around with a lot of men has that term placed on them, just like a guy who sleeps with a lot of women is called a man whore. Anyway back to my original point, if I were to watch nurse jackie and see these acts I don’t think skin color would come into MY mind, it would be the other terms based on her actions. In the end there would most likely be anuproar if nurse jackie were black. Still wouldn’t it be interesting if a great African American actress like Jada could pull it off, what could that do for black actress in bigger leader roles? Just something to think about.

What I'd Like

Megan Smith — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 21:37:00 -0500

What I'd like is to get to a point where black actresses can take a role like "Nurse Jackie," do a fabulous job with it and have no one talk about it except to say how great the performance is by the actress.

Unfortunately, we're not at that point yet.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

Much To Think About

Megan Smith — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:59:40 -0500

Hi Kim,

As always you've given me much to think about with these essay excerpts.

Unfortunately, there's something wrong with the link. Could you take a look at it, please?

But back to the topic, for me the issue is not only how we've been portrayed throughout history and continue to be portrayed, but how we see ourselves as well.

If we don't understand the history we won't be able to understand what still needs to be done.

Megan
BlogHer Contributing Editor, TV/Online Video

Megan's Minute

Back to Back

Maria Niles — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 17:24:55 -0500

I watched episodes of both back-to-back last night (while sorting bills so not paying the closest of attention). I agree that neither is particularly great and both are not bad. But, I totally see your analysis - if Nurse Jackie were black there would be a legitimate outcry. And, I hope HawthoRNe succeeds so that it helps bolster the evidence that black actresses can carry the lead though I wish the material were better.

Thanks for this thought provoking post!

BlogHer Contributing Editor
PopConsumer
Beyond Help